On Sunday night Cara came over to watch Desperate Housewives (shut up, you watch it too) with me and EJ. And I kept thinking the Juanita Solis character looked familiar. Lo and behold, I’ve seen her in plenty of flims! Check out Lupe Ontiveros’ resume.
- Storytelling (2001) … as the maid
- As Good as It Gets (1997) … as the maid
- Universal Soldier (1992) … as the maid
- The Goonies (1985) … as the maid
- California Suite (1978) … as the maid
- The Big Fix (1978) … as the maid
- The World’s Greatest Lover (1977) … as whore #2
I’m glad this actress has finally graduated from playing the maid. According to IMDB, Lupe estimates she’s been typecast as the maid in at least 150 films or plays.
As Rosalita The Maid in The Goonies she shared a lot of her screen time with Corey Feldman. Here’s my favorite Lupe Ontiveros scene of all time (spoiler alert, as if you haven’t seen it).
PERKINS: Walsh. You’re looking at the richest people in Astoria. Now sign it.
DATA: I’m sure gonna miss being a Goonie.
As Mr. Walsh is about to sign the papers Rosilita pulls Mikey’s marble bag out of his jacket. She looks inside and gasps.
ROSALITA: (spanish)
BRANDON: What’s she saying, Mouth? What’s she saying?
MOUTH: No ? no pen ? no write ?
ROSALITA: (spanish)
MOUTH: No sign! No sign!
He grabs the pen from Mr. Walsh
PERKINS: How dare you ?
MOUTH: No sign!
ROSALITA: (spanish)
BRANDON: What’s in the bag?
Rosilita runs over and dumps the contents of the bag into Mrs. Walsh’s hand: rubies, emeralds, and diamonds.
GOONIES: Wow!
MIKEY: Dad! Dad, it’s my marble bag. The Fratellis forgot to check it. See, I emptied the marbles out and I put the jewels in. We don’t have to leave the Goondocks.
Mr. Walsh tears up the papers.
MR. WALSH: Oh, they’ll be no more signing today or ever again.
Everyone cheers.
Incidentally, have you ever seen the music video for Cyndi Lauper’s “Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough”? An all-star cast of actors, wrestlers, and hibachi chefs makes it a must-see. I don’t have that Cyndi MP3 to share at the moment, but you can try to track it down along with New Found Glory’s cover. The mallpunk band does the theme to The Karate Kid on the same EP:
Also, did you know Sloth died of steroid abuse? They should use that as one of those stupid HOLLYWOOD FUN FACTS theaters show before movies. Maybe they will tonight when I see Sideways.
UPDATE: Thanks Chris for the MP3:
My coworker once took me to Cyndi Lauper’s apartment on the Upper West Side. She never showed, but her husband ordered us spaghetti and I played basketball with their little boy Declan (I let him win). He’s named after Elvis Costello (née Declan MacManus).
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Check out Lupe’s performance in Chuck & Buck, she will never be just “that lady who always plays the Spanish maid” again!
P.S. Anyone who has anything to do with Mike White is rad in my book.
sideways is funny and sad. it’s swingers 15 years later.
I get my mallpunk bands all confused. Is New Found Glory the one with the singer who looks like Morrissey with downs syndrome?
scott, i can’t believe you neglected to touch on the GOONIES “octopus” controversy. as a bastion of pop culture statistics and trivia, you should definitely bone up (“huh huh, she said ‘bone up’”) on this.
that EP NFG did of movie covers is the only remotely decent thing that shitass band has done.
Wasn’t Lupe in Selena too? She wasn’t a maid though, she was a murderer…
I know all about the octopus, Selena!
“Storytelling” was one freaky ass movie. As in DH Mama Solis was so evil in that movie as was that little kid.
Another person here that is so addicted to Desperate Housewives. I so hope that Mama Solis has something to do with the police being at Westria Lane in the next episode, I think she and Carlos hatch an evil plan against John and Eva.
she was also in “As Good As it Gets” playing greg keneer’s maid.
Ah, good catch Charlie. I couldn’t remember. I’ll ad.
And I think what Rex has to tell Bree and he just can’t is that he is gay. That’s my theory.
Anyway everytime I think of the Goonies all I think of is Josh Brolin with those super cool old school adidas track pants and that cut off belly shirt with those cool sweat bands and his wrists and his head. Hot Stuff!
i once cashed a check for lupe ontiveros while working as a bank teller for b of a in los angeles.
i’m so not joking…
We were thinking: Mary Alice killed her daughter … Zach found out about it, sent the letter to his mom, and she killed herself. ??? Maybe the dad is trying to cover it up? Or he was an accomplice?
that cyndi lauper video really is the best. steven spielberg pops up in the middle of it and you have to wonder, “am i really watching this?!”.
Hummmm….Stereogum, see I totally think the reason why the cops are called in the next episode is that Mama Solis calls the police on Gabi/Eva when she finds out about the affair between Gabi/Eva and John.
I think that you maybe right about Mary Alice, Stereogum. But how do you explain Mike the Plumber?? I so think he is with the FBI!
Geeze I’m so addicted!
she played the mother in “real woman have curves”.
she was also in that chubby girl movie? real women have curves? wasnt she?
She was Selena’s Fan Club President and shot her dead-bang bang!
Personally, the thing I love most about the Goonies is the 8-bit Nintendo game.
Possibly my favorite NES game ever.
I don’t think Rosalita appears in it, but to tell you the truth, I never beat the thing so who knows, she might be.
Also, If you ever have the chance to see Goonies in a theatre, do it.
I had Willow on NES. It was the cheapest game at Toys R Us.
The Sunshine Theater here in New York was showing the Goonies at midnight for a few weeks in the summer.
I heard that the kid who played Chunk went on to graduate from USC Berkley and is now a lawyer or something.
And what ever happend to Kerry Green? She was huge in the 80′s and then she seemed to fall off the face of the earth.
Sorry UC Berkley
Its true, Chunk did go to UC Berkeley. If I remember correctly, he was part of the student group that put on movie screenings in one of our big lecture halls. It was a great day when they screened Goonies.
yes was wonderful in CHUCK& BUCK and especially REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES. and ms. cyndi…she friggin’ rocks! the most underrated vocalist of our generation!!!
needless to say this post brightened my heavy work-load day…
thanks scott…i can quote every line from the Goonies
best. stereogum post. ever.
I just decided if I ever get a dog, I will name it Lupe in honor of Ms. Ontiveros.
Dude, Sloth was buried in Milwaukee?!?!? Now THAT’s what made Milwaukee famous.
Lupe’s performance in REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES should’ve gotten her an Oscar nod for best supporting actress…really.
Phantom Planet did a great cover of that song years ago before they wuz big and Jason S was still in the band. Local SD radio legendish guy Mike Halloran also named his kid Declan. Great minds….
“no escribe no escribe!”
Oh! But there’s more! Goonies is now a musical!
It was part of the Fringe Festival in NYC, and they are hoping to take it off, off Broadway. Yeah, it sounds impossible, but you really have to see it to understand. Goonies lovers will adore it.
And yeah, on the DH… I thing Zach killed his sister, and Mary Alice and the dad covered it up to protect him. But the letter? I guess there is a possibility that Zach sent it.
Good post, sir.
shes also the maid in clueless
“i not a mexican”
booyakasha
Hello I post on blackberry
Stereogum! Thanks for reminding us of the wonderful LUPE! I totally remember her cameo in “Clueless” as Lucy the Salvadorian not MEXICAN maid.
Oh, I loved it when she was being shown all around the house and Corey Feldman was translating:
“The marijuana goes in the top drawer, the cocaine and the speed in the middle drawer, and the heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs…”
Back to the DH discusion. Could it be that Mary Alice was having an affair cause of trouble in the marriage and she got pregant with Baby Dana…and she told Paul that the baby was his but Zach new the truth and in a fit of rage he killed the baby and sent his mother the note when she found out that she was preggers with baby Dana?
I think the Mike the plumber FBI connection is that either Carlos or Lynette’s husband or Susan’s ex Carl has some shady business dealings and Mike is there to keep watch.
Grimmone-
Theres no way that Mary Alice was preggers recently- Did you see how old old old that baby trunk tossed into the lake was? And the “Dana” baby blanket was old, too. So old that it Paul seemed to not even notice he was using it in liu of newspaper at his tag sale…That blanket was totally late 70s poly blend. I can feel it through my TV.
Seriously you guys, me and my husband are totally addicted to DH too!
I also think that Rex is gay, my husband says he’s not. Did you know that Gabi/Eva is dating the other dude from NSYNC(not Justin)? When I saw Lupe I told my husband “hey that’s Selena’s killer” Lupe rocks!!!
Large Marge,
Maybe Zach as a little kid killed Dana cause didn’t he say to both Julie and Bree that he did something really awful and then he began to explain to Julie about Dana, then the nurse came in.?
But it seems like Paul has something to hide so and then there was that whole thing with Bree finding out from the shrink’s tape that Mary Alice’s real name was Angelia.
Lord Help me I’m so addicted to this show!
Roxywill, Eva really won’t say if she is dating JC.
RE: Chunk from Goonies
Did anybody see the episode of “Clean Sweep” (TLC) where they do Chunk’s mom’s house?
That woman was so filthy they had to wear masks because of all of the mold growing in the den, and she wouldn’t give up her collection of The Most Hideous Sweaters Known To Man for any price. It was weird. They had to talk her into tossing Chunk’s old headshots from when he was 10. The Aussie organizer guy said something to her like, “Your son is an adult now, and no longer an actor. You have to LET GO!”
It was sad…
DUUUDE…STEREOGUM:
SHE KILLED J. LO IN SELENA! HOW COULD YOU NEGLECT THAT!!!
> Did anybody see the episode of “Clean Sweep”
> (TLC) where they do Chunk’s mom’s house?
Whoa … that sounds bizarre. I wish I saw it.
Lupe O. so nails every character she plays. She won a special acting award at Sundance for her role as a tough ass mom in “Real Women Have Curves.” Lupe has said that she took the “Chuck & Buck” role simply because the character’s name was “Beverly.” It wasn’t Carmen or Maria Theresa or Rosa. She won besting supporting actress honors from the National Board of Review for C&B. (She was nominated for an indie spirit award in that role.) Highly recommend.
also, rosario on will & grace was rosa the maid in ‘troop beverly hills’ (best movie EVER with jenny lewis at her best)
Necessity is the mother of invention. Plato.
Great guestbook!
Regards.
entertainment :: sports :: jobs and carreers ::
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Great guestbook!
Regards.
entertainment :: sports :: jobs and carreers ::
shopping :: internet :: games ::
computers
(escorts)
(escorts)
the Goonies NES game is actually Goonies 2.
Good Site.
Regards, Bobby
You can’t be 84215 serious?!?