Before y’all dis Brit’s iambic rhythms, consider that she probably wrote it with 11 or 12-year-old fans in mind. Or don’t. Whatever. Here’s the latest masterpiece Mrs. Federline has shared with the Official Fanclub.
Honeymoon Poem
11.10.2004
A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.
I remember it well, as she was smilin’
She said it was called Turtle Island.
I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.
We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.
As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.
A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!
Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.
Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.
Friendly “hellos” and never goodbyes
When you’re having fun, oh, how time flies!
As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!
~ Britney
 |
 |
Tardwhore. Slutmoron. Halfbakedho. Banalbiotch.
Idioticingenue. Puerilepaintedwoman. Laughableloser. Cloyingpartypickup. Motheatenstrumpet. Wearysomewench.
Quote Brenda Sweets:
I think that it was a totally awesome idea, because it helps us understand more who Britney really is and the changes that she has went through in her career.
Can you please explain this to me? Who is she? Someone whos deepest feelings is about lipstick and pick dresses? Fair enough that she writes poems, everyone is entitled to that, but if you makes it public like this… Cant expect anything else…
And one more thing… Are you for real? Or ironic? Hard to read that
Brenda and Britney sitting in a tree….
Anyone who found that beautiful needs to go back to first grade poetry writing. If you guys want beautiful dramatic poetry read some Maya Angelou writings.
can i point out that it’s neither iambic nor written in pentameter?
Y’ALL Jealous of her. :nod: yep yep
& Sick Boy- Brit wouldn’t waste her time reading comments in here. My name is Brenda and my last name is Sweet, so there.
Brenda, She took the time to write a poem that lacks the ability to arouse the most light hearted of people, Then she took the time to post it on her web site, Then took the time to throw her man down, I think she has far too much time on her hands.
So the possiblity of her massive ego surfing the web looking for “I LOOOOVVEEE YYYOOUUU BRITYYY” mornons like yourself to inflate her non poetic abilities would be very high.
Given the proof that she truly lacks imagination (See shitty poem section one)I could see her coming up with a name like Brenda Sweets trolling webs sites like this one defending something I wouldnt even wipe my ass with.
Good day to you sir…..I SAID GOOD DAY!!
Britney is a Vogon.
very nicely said Sickboy!!!
As defined by urbandictionary.com:
Britney Spears:
Your worst nightmare, white trash with money.
Use: Britney Spears is a common scrubber.
I thought it was perrogative. Either myself or Britney can’t spell. I only hope I’m not dumber than her. Where’s my dictionary? Quick!
By the way, ms. Britney, this poem bites ass. At least set the poor man down. He might get hurt. Sheesh!
at first i laughed, then i realized that she , unfortunately, has a lot of influence on todays youth. Now I think i must vomit.
and Brends Sweets, get spell check, seriously, if you want people to actually listen to you with out feeling the urge to rip your fingers from your hand you should do something about your english and your spelling.
By the way Sha, I’m not the one who used the word mornon for moron and britty for Britney. You are such a tard y’all. ( taheeheee )
To those of you who are casting your pearsl by telling me how to spell… Here is the proper spellling for prerogative which i have been using the whole time.
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=prerogative
You people are so funny. ( knee-tap ) ta-hee-hee
Hugs, Brenda
Ah….I think i will have some champagne again, sit on the balcony with my laptop and bust a total gut y’all watching you argue with a dictionary. Like Wow , won’t that be a gag tahee-hee. & make sure y’all buy My Prerogative ( Greatest Hits ) because Britney isn’t going for Good ! Love Ya Brit, ( biggrins Brenda )
i thought the poem was great! I think the press should leave her and kevin alone!!!!!
the poem was totally HOTTT!!! loves it!!! BRIT I love you….you are my idol!!!!
I really hope people are being ironic here…
Hey sweets, I’m entitled to spell one word wrong if you get to spell the rest of them wrong. Fair enough? Thought so.
I wouldn’t spend a penny of my money on Britney Spears. It was bad enough that they had all that shit of hers on display at the tock ‘n roll hall of fame when there could have been stuff from REAL rock ‘n roll artists there instead. The last time I bought something of hers, it was a book sealed in plastic and I gave it to my 4 year old for her birthday (she’s 8 now). When I got the plastic off, I had to break MY Brittany’s heart and take the book away because slut Britney was damn near naked. No way in hell am I going to encourage that again! (And by the way, my daughter got her name from a baby name book, long before Britney made her debut. It’s just a sick coincidence.)
Brenda where the hell do You come from?
Oh wait let me guess …where people laugh like horses?…taheheee my ass….
starz i am truly sorry someone draged the good and honest name of your girl through the mud like that…at least they are not spelled exactly the same…
peace out no one
What idiot would buy a book with photos of Britney for a 4 year old girl. She has been slutty for years it is nothing new. If you had a boy you should have bought it for him.
I don’t have to defend my reasons for buying a book from a children’s section in a party store, 4 years ago.
No one — thank you. Now that Britney is settling down, I hope she stays gone. No more flaky Britney music on the radio, no more turning on mtv and wondering if you accidentally got the playboy channel (Okay, so it’ll still happen, but not with her), and most of all, no more shitty poetry from her. It makes me hope she has 10 kids, but then again, would we really want her being the matriarch of a family that big? hmm. Tough call.
not even stoned I’d believe she wrote that poem. That’s not even a poem! hey brit brit, a poem comes from the heart, not from your artificial bad-shaped butt!! bsides u should think bout justin a bit, don’t u think? he was way better and u know you’re gonna end up begging him to come back
Brenda, I was not the one that tried to correct your spelling, mine was due to quick typing and not proof reading, Whats your excuse? yours seems to be a continued presence……Taheheheheehawww!
starz what the hell is wrong with you? im sure Britney is doing a lot better in life than you ever will so shut up!!!
i agree with this “no name” thats damn right Britney Spears is freckin’ old enough to dress how she wants and another thing Britney is a good name soo ur daughter is lucky to have that name!!!!!
i think it is really sweet that Britney even consider sharing her honneymoon with the few of us on this site that truly are fans and that have stuck by britney ever since “baby one more time”
Here I am in my room again,
Reading Britney Spears’ poém,
Oh my God I think it’s good,
I so think Britney really should…
Write some more and publish it,
(Can’t think of another cuplet)
So Britney, when you threw him down,
And ripped right off your hot pink gown…
And tied him to your 4-post bed,
Tell me, did you give him…?
Oops, sorry I did it again,
Got a bit too rude just then
It’s just that when you suck his d**k
I’m worried it may be toxic
Remember you can never be
Too overprotected…please take heed.
Send this message to your fans
Next time you write about your man
Or better still don’t write at all
Jsut sing and dance, that’s more your call…
ing
While Britney may have fame and fortune, I have everything she wishes she had. Go to britneyspears.com and read her letters to her fans and you’ll see. I have children that I love, I have privacy, and I have real, true friends that love me for me, not my bank account or my social status. She says herself that she’s been in the spotlight since she was 15 and wants to have a real life…. so no, I don’t think she has more than I’ll ever have. Yes, Brittany is a great name, but even she hates sharing it with her now that she’s a little older.
AHAHAHAHAHA EFFING HILARIOUS!!…they read this on the radio one morning and i was about to cry i was trying so hard not to laugh… first she’s goin “hit me baby one more time,” cuz she’s “not that innocent,” but “she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart,” and yet she’s “throwin her man down, if you know what i mean”…
just watch, sooner or later she’s gonna find out that kevin is really her brother, and after how many times she’s thrown her man down…you know what i mean
and also, brenda sweets, you have about the brain power as BS herself and there is no such word as “prerogative”—i seriously would think you were britney but the things you are posessed to write are too juvenile, so maybe you’re jamie trying to back her up. i actually feel so bad for you because you seem to have no idea what a childish 11-yr-old sounding imbicile you are making yourself out to be. one annoying message is enough; we’re only harrassing britney, you don’t have to harrass us now. i doubt britney even wrote the poem, even though i wouldn’t be surprised in the least.
Maybe…..just maybe,,,she stuck a pecil up her arse and danced around the room to the crap song “Lucky” I think thats the name of the drivel infested teeny bop bag of shite poured from a blender.
AHHhhhh….so good to get that off my chest…..now if I could just make it rhyme….
If I had the time…..
I would drop all my things running madly smilin
Looking for that the very same….Island
I would want people to greet me right at the shore
Alsa no-one did
I must be dull…or
Am I? I ask the man at reception
“No” he said But Britneys already been and done that”
“Why dont you go to the gift shop and buy a new hat”
I did as he said and walked off toward the shore to throw a man down you know what I mean!
Alsa I could find none they were no where to be seen
Parchment in hand I cried with the poem
For Britneys lost love
I want to go home.
The End.
LOL
BRIT RULEZ!!!!!!!!! yessir.
a crap called a poem that isn’t even worth reading. (then why the heck did I read it?)
and no I don’t care if I misspelled anything.
LOL *dies*
So I’m supposed to be writing a paper… and I drifted off into cyberland. Normal occurance. I stumbled onto this site and read the whole convo… top to bottom.
1) I’m dumber having read her poem.
2) I’ve wasted 9 minutes reading all of you peoples responses (although hillarious.)
3) I dont want to get back to my writing because Brit’s toxic poem might have infected my brain.
I hope she gets really fat after having kids and never returns to music-
That’s why I hope she has 10 of them. She’ll be so stretch marked and saggy that the men that wanted to molest her before she became of age won’t want her anymore, and the little teeny boppers will have grown up enough to realize she sucks by the time she’s done popping out babies. But… like I said, I don’t know if I’d want that much of her offspring infecting the general population.
And for those little girlies that think you’re going to love Britney forever, just think New Kids On The Block. I loved them when I was 12, and I still tap my foot to their music, but we all know they suck. Just like Britney.
“I threw my man down…you know what I mean”.
I don’t underdstand, think you could show us Britney?
The fact that she would write “I threw my man down… you know what I mean” on her fan website that OBVIOUSLY consists of impressionable youth is enough for me to pull the plug. I used to think she sucked, then I started to actually like her… but now, I remember why I was a hater to begin with. Brittney- Please for the Love of God, GROW UP!!!!!!!
Auggie, be patient. She’ll come out with a supposedly leaked x rated film soon enough. They all do. Then we really will know what she means.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oy!… dear God I’m not sure which made me laugh more – Britney’s poem or Brenda’s defending the poem.. OR Brendas ‘tahehehe’. Civilization in general is going to the dogs, and that’s no more than I can say for celebrities of Britney’s er.. caliber.
Britney needs to go eat some chicken-fat pie. Why? just because chicken-fat pie creates a rather funny mental image, and someone eating it is even funnier. Maybe she can get obese and fall through the stage one day.. that ought to get her permanently out of the record studios..
aww c’mon guys, at least Brit tried.
or maybe she didn’t… or maybe she tried, really, really hard…
‘tahehehehehehe’
*dies*
On britneyspears.com Miss Brit wrote a letter about thanksgiving and dedicated it to her mom. I’ll keep this short, but I just had to come here and point out on paragraph. It says “It’s 10pm and Kori is sound asleep. Today, for the first time I made a roast with carrots, potatoes, corn and my favorite garlic bread. It was amazing, if I do say so myself! I used my own recipe too. My feet are really starting to sink into my new home, especially the kitchen. When I was younger, the kitchen was always the room in the house where we would all end up hanging out. Cooking is kind of like motherhood. To be really good at it, you don’t need instructions. You kind of just go on instinct and what feels right.”
First of all, who is Kori? I’m curious.
Second of all, a roast and carrots, corn, potatoes, and garlic bread for Thanksgiving? She’s obviously not going to be the next Martha Stewart! And here, she’s proud of this? Okay, so I can see that she’s been working nonstop for like 6 years so she wouldn’t know how to cook as well as someone that lived at home and did the high school thing, but c’mon! All she did was put a roast and carrots in a pan in the oven for a while, heated a can of corn on the stove, made some mashed potatoes from a box, and cooked frozen garlic bread. That’s a fine meal for someone on a day that isn’t a holiday, or if you really, truly can’t cook, it’s great for a holiday too, but my God, doesn’t she think she bragged enough about throwing her man down? Now she’s bragging because she doesn’t know how to cook.
Oh, and as a mother of three kids, I can tell you it’s a hell of a lot harder to be a mother than it is to cook a roast. That’s a huge insult, but it’s smoothed over a bit by the fact that she could just be a mother someday and she’ll see how damn stupid she is.
This is incredibly depressing. After reading this epic, my life feels trite and without purpose. You see, I am currently wasting my existance as a journalism major. The reason I am so incessively negative about this, is because after striving for excellence for so long, I come and read something like this; from an amature with no real education in a literary field. I read this, and it’s, BRILLIANT! She’s obviously quite gifted. Regardless, I see this natural talent and realize that I can never compete with raw talent like that. No matter how hard I work, it will never be as good. While I am studying and staying up all night trying to learn as much as I can; she can just roll out of bed, open the door of the double-wide and the first thing that comes out of her mouth would bring a tear the eyes of even Emily Dickenson. A lot of potentially great pencil pushers are giving up their craft after reading such a fascinating tale of passion, rapture and devotion.
I only hope that one day I can find the emotional prowess to unleash such an amazing limerick. Of course, I’d need an enchantress capable of inspiring such emotions. Oh to be blessed…
Hi everyone, it’s been hilarious reading everyone bashing britneys terrible poem, and even funnier reading Brenda’s poor attempts at standing up for Britney. I just wanted to point out that Prerogative is a real word which is defined as “peculiar power”. I’m not defending Brenda Sweets because I think she is full of shit, and she needs to get a f**king life. Get over it, the poem is shit and so is your arguement. Quit trying to defend someone that has obviously written the worst piece of poetry I’ve ever heard. She wants to be a “role model” but listen to her music and her poem, if I had a daughter I wouldn’t let her listen to that shit. Keep up the B.S bashing work. Good job! Kudos uncle meat.
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yeah it sucks so what if i had that much money i wouldn’t give a shit. next she is going to be writing poems about her new puppy.
Lets hope the words “I threw my pup down you know what I mean” will not appear in that one!
It’s not the the whole Throwing down her man part was disgusting or whatever. It’s just that the poem sucks. I guess I see now why all of her songs are remakes of old songs.
hi
its look realy good
I kinda prefer the version she rote before her agent made her change it. It’s more romantic, more…sleazy, more Britney, somehow..
‘A honeymoon at last, to get away from y’all.
My mate Madonna said it’d be a ball.
I remember it well, as she was smilin’
She said it was called Fuckfest Island.
I packed my shorts, crack and bong
Then grabbed my pink dildo & favorite thong.
We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I blew Kev hard, all through the night.
As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are fucking all over the shore.
We took a shower and smoked some grass
Then I ate cheetos while Kev fucked my ass.
Magical nights snortin’ coke
laughing my fat ass off at that stupid dope.
Crack orgies under the stars
flashing my tits around the bars
Friendly “helloes” and never goodbyes
When you’re sucking cock, the time just flies!
As I sit and prepare to split
I thank you, Fuckfest Island, for having this megastar.’
‘A honeymoon at last, to get away from y’all.
My mate Madonna said it’d be a ball.
I remember it well, as she was smilin’
She said it was called Fuckfest Island.
I packed my shorts, crack and bong
Then grabbed my pink dildo & favorite thong.
We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I blew Kev hard, all through the night.
As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are fucking all over the shore.
We took a shower and smoked some grass
Then I ate cheetos while Kev fucked my ass.
Magical nights snortin’ coke
laughing my fat ass off at that stupid dope.
Crack orgies under the stars
flashing my tits around the bars
Friendly “helloes” and never goodbyes
When you’re sucking cock, the time just flies!
As I sit and prepare to split
I thank you, Fuckfest Island, for having this megastar.’
lol..very creative.
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you guys are all stupid britney is an ugly cow, without all the make-up shes nothin, i hate brenda, get a life, are u a lesbian or sumfin?
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wat the hell was that all about
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Britney spears is a gay ass and i hate her!
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peeps who dis britney r frecken stupid! y r u on this site if ur just gonna dis her???? GET A LIFE!!!!!!! if u can’t respect other peeps opinions….then u suck monkey balls!!!!!!
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please send me all you sex photo with 100%naked
i think you are very sexy .why you cant send me you sexy photos
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Okiley dokiley then, indeedy that was odd.
WTF? We all knew she was a slut but she just clenched it for us!!!!!! How ‘prevocative’ does she want to be!!
All I can say is WHORE!!!
wow man im freakinq tearinq up…well dat’sz okay cos i juss finished laffin`
dat shyt sucked lyke hell OMG wat da fuqc was dat?! dat poem is lyke a fuqcin dick, GO FUQC iT!! 
bye
What a lovely piece of crap.
Pleae, get over it, it’s just a poem and it’s not written to you or is she ofending you??? But you know the problem is you don’t have nothing better to do than criticize britney. and if you all hate her so, why do you waste your time reading it?
That is some unrequest information! Ewww, i cant believe i read this…
oviously yhays a good poem but about the wrong man she should be wid justin man justin and brit was da best cuople kevin is after her damn money and britney is stupid not to realize this britney and justin meant to be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.fincompa.com/r585cx3/ endedprideteasing
Britney has no idea of how to keep her personal life private!
Like, we all care what she and Kevin did!
I think she’s insane!
Seriously, she used the birth of her son, to release her second perfume and now since she has officially released her son’s baby pictures, to a magazine, she is releasing her latest album.
The remix one……
It’s such a shame that she uses her personal life, to strategically boost sales of whatever product she is involved with.
So far, her second perfume and her latest album.
BOOO FOR BRITNEY!
I am no longer a fan!
Surely I’m not the only one who realises the Brenda Sweets is just baiting ‘yall’. NO-ONE loves Britney anymore. Plus, why sound deliberately retarded if you genuinely want to defend someone? She is a fabricated character by a Britney fan hater. That’s a step further than a Britney hater for those that didn’t know.
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Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy…
Hallo! Es hat sich doch gezeigt, dass die 301 Umleitung einer minus-31 Domain nichts bringt weil die Seite auf die umgeleitet wird auch auf Platz 31 landet. Wenn nun jemand seine -31 Domain auf meine Domain umleiten wurde um mich als Konkurrenten zu argern, gabe es fur mich keine Moglichkeit diese Manipulation herauszufinden.
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Ich wurde ratseln was ich falsch gemacht hatte und dabei ist es nur ein Trick der Konkurrenz. Edit: Ich habe die Frage vergessen! Gibt es doch eine Moglichkeit herauszufinden ob jemand seine Domain auf meine umgeleitet hat?
i love britney but to be honest this poem is quite bad. but that dosn’t mean she can’t write good poems. if you don’t believe me, read this poem that she wrote and posted on the site.
Remembrance of Who I Am
No more chains
That you gave me.
Enough of pain
Now I’m craving
Something sweet, so delight
How do you stand sleeping at night?
Silly patterns that we follow
You pull me in
I’m being swallowed.
By the ones you think you love
They pull you down
You can’t see up above.
Manipulation is the key
They screw it in
Because you’re naive.
You come to me now
Why do you bother?
Remember the Bible
The sins of the Father.
What you do
You pass down
No wonder why
I lost my crown.
You don’t see me now
You ask yourself why
My crown is back
And it’s way too high
For you to be in my presence
Especially my son
You should bow down
I’ve only just begun.
The guilt you fed me
Made me weak.
The voodoo you did
I couldn’t speak.
You’re awakening
The phone is ringing.
Resurrection of my soul
The fear I’m bringing.
What will you say
And what will you do?
She’s not the same person that you’re used to.
You trick me one, twice, now it’s three.
Look who’s smiling now
Damn, it’s good to be me!