1. Chris Selden  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -10 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Have you heard the new Beach House album?” Reply

2. Zayin  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 +13 “I can’t upvote my own comment, but if I downvote everyone else’s comments, it’s basically the same thing!” -Everyone on this page Reply

3. demagogue  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -9 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pbjdp/ Reply

4. banksy_  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -7 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Reply

5. Daniel Saade  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Dave: “Did Longshot kick de bucket?” Man: “Nah.. him jus poppin’ cookin’” Reply

6. Logan Knox  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Is the bathroom this way?” Reply

7. Levi Simpson Jones  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -7 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see I feel like these comments are being evaluated by the German judge at the olympics Reply

8. Danny Hatch  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -4 “Hidden due to low comment rating.” Reply

9. senator murphy  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Dude. Your…uh…your fly. Yeah. There you go. Reply

10. MagicUnicornFairy  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Stop with the air guitar, the baby is kicking. Reply

11. ladyfeet  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Okay, I’ve narrowed it down. One of you is the father.” Reply

12. James Kademenos  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “My guitar has no trigger” Reply

13. Logan Aurelius Mounts  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “That’s obviously not a real guitar, Virginia.” Reply

14. Nason Mcknight  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Next time you get a jacket you might consider choosing a color different color so it wont clash with your Wranglers. I found this nice forest green color goes pretty well with denim…….. and you might want to zip those pants up before anyone else notices… Reply

15. David Mania Worthington  |   Posted on May 16th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see When you magic eye this, we all almost kiss. Reply

16. Behiye Gozde  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Dave: ”So… where can we record our new album?” Reply

17. Trevor Morrison  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Do you want to go see the shitstorm I just created on Stereogum?” Reply

18. Emmett James Lindner  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Does this look too hip? I don’t want to look too forwardly hip. Reply

19. Harrison Suits Baer  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Worst. Funeral. Ever. Reply

20. the_ricards  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see look at the outpouring of comments and down votes. its satisfying to see not just anyone can come up with a good caption. I’d be worried if I saw all green Reply

21. the_ricards  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “What im trying to do is recreate the Deliverance soundtrack from pure memory.” Reply

22. haiimalex  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see hi sorry im lost stereogum how do you work the internet? Reply

23. rskva  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -7 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see I’m only posting here because I want downvotes. Reply

    • rskva  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -7 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Aw, you guys suck. Reply

24. Ellen Gorra  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see So do you recognize us if I pose like this? Reply

25. crabtron  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -2 “. . . And we each had a bottle of soda. Daddy brought his own in his pocket.” Okay, admittedly all I did was search Google Images for Family Circus, then ripped off the caption of the first one that came up. Sadly, it’s still better than anything I could’ve come up with on my own. Reply

    • crabtron  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -3 “Pepperoni is a nice topping–it doesn’t fly south for winter.” This one’s from Heathcliff. Reply

      • crabtron  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -2 “No, no, no! I’m not going to carry you.” And here’s one I stole from Marmaduke. I figure between these three captions, I’ve got a good shot at winning this thing now. (I’m assuming it’s okay that all of my entries are just straight-up plagiarized, right?) Reply

        • Zayin  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 +10 I like this game. Here’s a punchline I stole from the first random Dilbert comic I could find: “Keep typing Beverly! He doesn’t exist!” Reply

          • crabtron  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -3 Dang, that one’s gonna be hard to top. But here’s an introductory caption from the first square of a Mary Worth comic: “Drew drives home after breaking up with Liza.” Applying it to the album cover here, I’d have to say that “Drew” is Amber, the bearded man is “Liza,” and Dave represents the car that’s being driven. Taken in that way, it makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? You’re right, it does. Reply

26. Dave Payne  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Why don’t you idiots just upvote the ones you like and leave the rest? Sick of having to reveal every damn comment. Reply

27. charbarred  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “So let me get that straight: Lana Del Rey was just here holding a bucket of KFC, asking for directions to the Metallica gig?” Reply

28. Nick Degel  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see There is clearly some gamesmanship going on here. And not the honorable kind. I’ve never seen so many people downvoted for not-at-all downvote-able comments. Reply

29. Nick Degel  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Dave: “They’re so good live. Especially P-Nut. He was all like…” Reply

30. broadwayindie  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see You ATE the other 2 girls? Reply

31. garrettdenton  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Because, Uncle Dan, nobody poses for photos. Reply

32. Zack Allen  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see I’ll save us all some time: Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see. Reply

33. drum  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Man: “How’s it goin’?” Dave: “Not bad. You?” Man: “Good. Good.” Man with Camera: ” This place is beautiful.” Amber: “I know. Get a picture, dude.” Reply

34. Smokes Holy  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -7 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Hidden due to low comment rating by some some punk ass bitches. Reply

35. Kris Pistofferson  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -9 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “And if you threw an orgy Invited everyone you knew You would see The biggest dick would be on me And the mouth attached would say: Mff-nnp-mfph-nppff-mmfffph-npmf-mmmfnmnmnmfp” Reply

36. 1b-bb-r  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Dave, aren’t you left handed? Reply

37. garrettdenton  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Okay Uncle Dan, if I put on looser pants THEN can we have the jumper cables? Reply

38. arisayshello  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Reply

39. arisayshello  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Reply

40. walterpeck  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “How did you get to be so authentic?” Reply

41. Jimmy Fitzgerald  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see I wear large coats to compensate for my unusually skinny legs. Reply

42. Dave Payne  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Dave – “So basically it means ‘Please Killer Whale’. Man – “Man, that’s about the dumbest shit I ever heard” Reply

43. Joseph Gunderson  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see When dancing with a lady, tickle her butt like this. Reply

44. Alex Sobel  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Wow, this whole thread is quite the cluster fuck. Well played, everyone. Reply

45. old thompson  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Dave: I’ve always had a thing for 00s pop punk. There was something about the way the nihilism was wrapped up in sugary hooks that made it go down so easy. I could get down with pretty much all of them: Blink, Green Day, NOFX. But dude, Offspring are Blank. Fats: Offspring are the best of all those bands. Remember the way Noodles used to coax that axe? The Kids Aren’t Alright! You’re Going to Die! Amber: Dave, I’ll save you! Here — er, this Gun Has No Trigger! Dave: Only God can save us now. O, Swing Low, Sweet Chariot… Fats: Didn’t you mean – Amber: Who cares what he meant!? You’re really going to kill us because Dave made some stupid comment about the Offspring? He was just kidding! Our car broke ran out of gas, we were just coming back from the gas station to fill it up — Just From Chevron! Fats: I don’t buy it, not for a second. If you were coming from Chevron, where’s your gas can? Dave, Amber (in unison): Shit. Dave: Fats, could you give us one second? (conspiratorial whispering between Dave and Amber) Amber: OK, Fats. A deal: will you let us go if I Dance For You? Fats: Hmmmm… What kind of dance? Amber: Can-can? (Fats raises a shovel, anger ablaze in his eyes) Dave: Wait, wait, wait! Amber, didn’t you mean a pole dance? Amber: Uh, no? (Dave elbows Amber in the ribs) Amber: Ah, yes. Maybe That Was It… (Amber walks over to a tree and begins spinning around it) Fats: She’s kind of a fox, isn’t she? Dave: Don’t you think that’s kind of an Impregnable Question? Fats: What does that even mean? Dave: I went to Yale. (Amber gyrations grow more and more erratic. What began as an alluring if slightly awkward display has evolved into something much more grotesque) Fats: Dude, what the fuck is going on? Dave: Try to See What She’s Seeing… (Dave reaches in his pocket and pulls out a bowl packed full of salvia, arching one eyebrow towards Fats. Fats is happy to oblige. Fast forward 30 seconds…) Fats: Oh my God, it’s all so clear! The proletariat, the bourgeois, the politicians, the radical chic, The Socialites! I said it’s all so clear, they’re all – Dave: Amber! Quick, let’s get out of here before he comes down! Amber: Unto Caesar! (They scamper off. At first they are diligent and quiet, so as not to be seen or heard by any of Fats’s minions. As they make there way further and further away, Dave begins to grow bored. He knows it could get them found, but he can’t resist whistling the melody to “Stillness is the Move,” just to pass the time. It isn’t long before Amber joins him, harmonizing that Irresponsible Tune…) Reply

    • raptor jesus  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see This is the most sense this album is going to make. Thank you old thompson. I’ll buy you a copy and mail it to you. Reply

      • old thompson  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see thanks, RJ <3 Reply

46. joff  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see So…what did you think of my air guitar solo? Reply

47. Kevin Geary  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -9 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see dave: “as you can see, this gun has no trigger.” Reply

48. Joel Coffman  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Well, our GPS said this is where we would find Elvis, are you sure you are not Elvis? Reply

49. Stephen Berry  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -9 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see So, Dave plays air-guitar right-handed? Hmmmm…. Reply

50. Stephen Berry  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -9 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Also, this is the most downvotes I’ve seen in one post since Michael_ underscored everyone a few weeks back…. Why all the negativity? Reply

    • Andrew Schneider  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -9 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Clearly you haven’t been around the last two weeks Reply

51. Andrew Schneider  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -9 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Really, Dirty Projectors, your making these hologram comments too easy gum Reply

52. Tiffany Leong  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see I’m yer huckleberry.. Reply

53. Jeffery Phillips  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -9 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Hey guy, nice Canadian tuxedo. Is this how Rush played the bass, or was the neck higher?” Reply

54. drgonzo  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Thanks again for letting me take your daughter to the Tinariwen show Mr. Deeradorian.” Reply

55. Rio Bravo  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see That’s not really the album cover, right? Reply

56. donnytilla  |   Posted on May 17th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Guitar guy: “u know how to play ur bone axe?” Old guy: “my balls r old.” Reply

57. Dave Payne  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -9 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see On the set of new movie The Blair Witch Projectors with our two protagonists and ‘Scary hick you’ll be suspicious of due to anti-redneck prejudice but like totally ends up saving the day with his bear traps”. Reply

58. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Son, that was the most beautiful air guitar I’ve ever heard. Of course you can marry my daughter. Reply

59. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Yes I’ll have this dance. Reply

60. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see You got some nerve miming at me, on my property! Now GET! Reply

61. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Now, normally a magician never reveals his secrets, but you distract with the left hand… Reply

62. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Big Don “Now you’ve got it” Donnie “Oh ok, you pop, then lock” Jessica “There’s no way we can lose the dance off now!” Big Don “And you kids can save the community center” Reply

63. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see But it goes to 11 Reply

64. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “You fuck’n my daughter?!” “I, um, I, I’m gonna go, I hear my mom” Reply

65. trinity firearms  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see this contest in no way makes up for this insanely shitty album art. Reply

66. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see I’m a little teapot, short and stout… Reply

67. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Now roar like a dragon Reply

68. micahrophone  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see most downvotes in the history of Stereogum ? Reply

69. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “You gotta see this, I’ll be right back” Reply

70. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see dave – “dude, that’s the worst Steve Zissou costume ever!” Reply

71. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see now sliiide to left Reply

72. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Dad, this is my boyfriend, Michael Cera Reply

73. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Excuse me… are those Bugle Boy jeans that you’re wearing?” “Why yes, they are Bugle Boy jeans.” “Thank you.” Reply

74. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “So you’ll put me on the list?” “Yeah! totally, but we gotta go sound check” Reply

75. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Look! I agree that hollywood remakes are completely unnecessary 9 times out of ten, but the swedish dragon tattoo movies suuuuuck. Reply

76. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Santa, I think we have a problem. Reply

77. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see yeah your carabiner seems secure, but one of those extendable cable things that janitors use is way better. Reply

78. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see wutcha gonna do old man? NUTH’N can keep us apart! Reply

79. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see wait, um, I think a bird just shit on your jacket. Reply

80. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Son… you sully his memory by calling that Moonwalking Reply

81. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see in a whispered voice “dad, he’s the best we can afford” Reply

82. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Macmellen, you Gellen” “I’m Gellen and Zinfandellin, and so’s my new bride Mrs. duntduddadahh Helen Macmellen” “I’m so happy my eyes are wellin” Reply

83. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see I can’t believe your trying to pull a bait and switch Reply

84. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see As Dave begins to pull the old man into what is know as the long con, his daughter Amber is on to Dave’s plan, but unfortunately for her father, she is succumbing to his charismatic ways. Whose side is she on? Who knows, but either way, she’s playing for keeps. Reply

85. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Are you one of those hipsters I keep hearing about? You are aren’t you?” “I can’t believe my little girl is dating a filthy hipster.” Reply

86. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Daaad, Dave is wearing my jeans again!” “Goddammit Dave!” Reply

87. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Father of the Bride 3 Reply

88. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Stay behind me sweet heart, I’ll take care of this. Reply

89. Wade Redfearn  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “AIR rifle – get it? Of course, being imaginary – no trigger.” Reply

90. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Shhh, this is the best part… Reply

91. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Son, you’re bout as useful as a gun with no trigger Reply

92. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see ” bouncing here and there and everywhere “ Reply

93. craigory  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “Damn Angel, you’ve really let yourself go.” Reply

94. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “so wait, you select your fuel grade then…” “hold it right there son, I just don’t think you fit what we’re looking for here at the Chevron.” Reply

95. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see So I said “look Reggie, if you really want to stand out, downtune a whole step or more to really get that clanking sound.” Reply

96. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see I think you hit the wrong key change, but maybe that was it Reply

97. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see You’re about to die, unless we remove that tumor Reply

98. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see so wait, shheee knocked yuuuu up? Reply

99. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see “so what’s the act called??” “The Socialites!” Reply

100. jaystew  |   Posted on May 18th, 2012 -8 Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see Seriously, the amount of time they are wasting with this comments contest, they could buy the deluxe set ten times over. Reply

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