Gift Guides help narrow things down a bit, but they’re still just providing you with someone else’s guess work. Try as you might, the holiday season brings plenty of pointless gifts along with its good cheer. It’s not anyone’s fault: Relatives don’t have the time to pay close attention (your aunt will never realize your younger brother was lying when he told her you had a stamp collection), your friends are broke, and you’ve already given your significant other the deluxe edition of Two Suns. With all of those caveats in mind … we came up with a Gift Guide anyway. A Gift Guide For Teh Lulz. This one includes all kinds of music-related weirdness (along with a couple of things that maybe some (weird) folks actually wouldn’t mind owning). We’ve separated the goodies into easy-to-view categories so you have more time to choke back the eggnog.
FOR YOUR GIRLS…
Merriweather Post Pavilion: The T-Shirt
How do you show your bros that you really really really really love AnCo so much you don’t even want to listen to new music again because God has already given the human race The Perfect Album? That’s right, you become the album. We don’t know where to buy this shirt (this gift guide is off to a great start) but you can ask Reverend Green, who took the photo above. The merch looks legit and presumably costs less than Adobe Slabs. Dare you to wear it on Bedford Ave in 2010.
FOR MOM AND DAD…
Weezer Snuggie
You’re no longer amused by the infomercials, but it’s high time you pick a couple up for your parents. We’re glad Rivers is on the mend after last week’s bus crash. Maybe he owes his quick recovery to the fact that he seemed to be wearing one at the time of the accident?
Maybe? Anyway, a blanket with sleeves is all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Make sure mom and dad read the directions.
FOR YOUR ANNOYING TWEEN SISTER…
Owl City Adult Onesie
A thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs not included.
FOR YOUR WEIRD UNCLE…
Flaming Lips’ Silver Trembling Fetus Ornament
Wayne plays the part of your weird uncle in this commercial:
Get yours here.
FOR GRANDPA…
LouZoom
The sad parade of gratuitous band iPhone apps marched on this year: Death Cab, Smashing Pumpkins, R.E.M., Daniel Johnston (!) … Even the ubiquitous “I Am T-Pain” lost its novelty appeal after the first day of recording yourself singing “I fucked a mermaid!” How about something useful for a change?
With Lou Zoom, your contacts have never been this beautiful–or this huge and legible! Each name in your contact list expands to the full width of the display, making them easier to select, and allowing you to read your contact info without squinting. No pinching, no panning around–just your contacts, clearer. Dramatically set in Helvetica Neue type, this contemporary take on classic Modernist design turns heads as quickly as it dials phone numbers.
More details at loureed.com. Only $1.99 too. How much were you spend on gramps anyway? (Your grandpa has an iPhone right?) Still, it would’ve been cooler if they figured out an “I’ll Be Your Mirror” app. Or iHeroin.
FOR YOUR SWEETHEART…
Rammstein’s “Love Is There For Everyone” Limited Deluxe Box Set
If you want to add some spice to an intimate relationship, why not pick up a copy of Rammstein’s Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da. What’s in it? (Remember, the collection’s first single was “Pussy” and they ran out of good songs a decade ago…)
The Deluxe Aluminium Suit-Case contains a Special Edition CD, plus a bonus CD, 6 Pink Plastic Dildos, Handcuffs, Lube and much more. I hope to get more details shortly but I know it is a Fantastic item as no expense has been spared because the band cares about its fans.
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If you know other unconventional music Stocking Stuffers (sorry), shout out in the comments. And of course, for those who hate music, Brokencyde’s got it covered (unless you’re an XS).
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lolz. good guide and it makes shopping for weird uncles a lot easier.
Dude.. Lou Reed not naming his app “Lou Read” or “The Lou Reader” was such a missed opportunity
I will never give my annoying tween sister an Owl City onesie.
saw the AnCo tees at there shows in melbourne. peeps looked ridiculous in them
I hate to be THAT person, but I thought the photo of Rivers on the stretcher was a little distasteful in the context of a joke
I actually agree considering how bad Rivers got hurt
But he’s ok now! … still, too soon?
ANYWAY
Here’s a $200 Thom Yorke hoodie you can buy instead
http://store.honeyee.com/products/detail.php?product_id=5774
Nah, Scott, I’d say it’s a pretty safe joke to make, like you said: he is ok now. Besides, the most harmful thing Rivers can do at this point is release another album like his last few (see: everything since Pinkerton). I hate to get all depressing metaphorgum, but listening to recent Weezer is like watching a friend you grew up with struggle with drug addiction; you just wish things could go back to the way they were.
Aye aye aye!! But I hate to say i find myself in agreement.
God, that hoodie looks terrible. Might as well scream “I’M A DOUCHE” if you wore that haha
You should have linked to that clothing line’s entire collection – it’s great. I’m so moving to Japan to become a fashion designer now. I already know how to use Google Image Search to find photos of rock stars AND how to upload said photos to Cafepress.com, so I should be selling $90 t-shirts emblazoned with the likenesses of Kurt Cobain and Liam Gallagher in no time!
maybe you thought you were browsing a tasteful site
At $40 for an Owl City Adult Onesie…it’s like I’m ripping them off!
There’s no such thing as a “Smashing Pumpkins iPhone App” you stupid hipster fucks.
LOL. I think Stereogum attracted some trolls from a Pumpkins fan livejournal.
Smashing Pumpkins (isn’t it just Billy Corgan now?) did come out with an iPhone game pack this year. It’s for Tap Tap Revenge app, and Lady Gaga and Weezer have versions too. I bought the Weezer one. It was dumb.
Speaking of Billy Corgan and tapping http://tiny.cc/IQ7QO
WTF
most AnCo fans are under 21, so I don’t really think that they realized how ridiculous they were
They also don’t have any sort of reference point to truly appreciate the music either.
there’s no SP iPhone app, but don’t let facts get in the way of an opportunity to bash the pumpkins! carry on with your non-professional journalism now.
at the risk of looking totally ridiculous.. i want one of those merriweather post pavilion t-shirts.
moi, too! the only question is, does the t-shirt contain the optical illusion of the album cover, causing people to walk into walls when they come near you? one can only hope.
haha I want one too, and I hate T shirts. I love that album cover!
No rotten vegetables, please
Calling something Two Suns only makes me think of one thing…Please, digital imaging only when necessary…
at the risk of looking totally ridiculous reise, reise was a fantastic album
ALL SHIT
What?! There are no indie bobbleheads? I don’t believe you!
I want the MPP shirt.
If all else fails…http://www.zazzle.com/merriweather_post_pavillion_tshirt-235519430177474236
One Weezer snuggie in fire engine red would really complement my complexion.
And why isn’t there a Spoon-branded eating utensil on the market yet?
This thread made me forget I came here looking for new MP3s. I spent five minutes trying to remember why I came here. Just stunning.
there’s lady gaga bubbles…
http://ladygaga.shop.bravadousa.com/Dept.aspx?cp=14781_16346
Eh, Men Women & Children were selling bubbles years ago, I owned them, until I used them all up, then I was sad.
OK so curiosity got the better of me and I just had to ask. Are they modelled after the members members of the band?
Whoops…. accidentally typed that word twice…. yeah…. accidentally… you guys knew I was talking about Lou Reed’s eyesight, yeah?
Yikes! I don’t know what’s more insulting about the Rammstein gift box: The idea that the gift is implying that your significant other needs six dildos, or the idea that your significant other likes Rammstein. ZINGGG!
ahh i need that MPP tshirt!!! i WILL track it down
here is a way better version of the same idea
http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/dailyloaf/2009/12/14/holiday-gifts-for-super-music-fans-only-nye-with-the-flaming-lips-pixies-minotaur-box-set-vincent-gallos-sperm-and-more/
Really? No one has anything to say about the dildos? But the t-shirt is scandalous. Hmm.
They should make a top records of 2009 eight ball, would settle all arguments everyone has been having.
…….What is the best record of 2009!
…………damn, not Dirty Projectors again!!
Buy a Hipster any ” Creed” or “Nickelback” shirt and tell them they have to wear it to a Animal collective concert.
best 6-dildo/music box set ever?
i will only assume so.
I snagged a MPP tee from the merch stand when I caught AC live last Monday… cost something like AUD$45…
INTENSE IDEA!
What if they made a Merriweather post pavillion SNUGGIE
…just and idea but i would like to be comfy and trippy at the same time
What’s with all these gay suit avatars?
cuz the’yr fackin awesome that’s whAt