David Bowie's Albums From Worst To Best

26. Tonight (1984)

Ugh. Listening to David Bowie should not be a painful experience, yet here we are. The record that preceded this one, Let’s Dance, was perfectly listenable, fun as hell, and admittedly dumb. Tonight was crapped out in the wake of that infinitely superior album’s success, and it feels like it. The downside to the superstardom that accompanied hits like “Let’s Dance” and “Modern Love” was the new generation of fans tuning into Bowie’s music, fans who neither knew nor cared about his Berlin period, Ziggy, the Thin White Duke, or any of it. Attempting to write for that audience, to keep them engaged with what Bowie thought they wanted, would prove disastrous. Don’t be fooled by the opener, “Loving The Alien,” which actually has a semblance of the charm you look for in a Bowie joint — lyrically and compositionally it’s sound, but the production and vocal delivery undercut any lasting power it might have had. It only gets worse from there: The reggae regurgitation of Iggy Pop’s “Don’t Look Down” leads into the most horrible Beach Boys cover you’ll ever hear, followed by … more horror. The production is glossy and gaudy, vulgar horns on top of wanky guitars and disconnected vocals, cheapening the already overwrought arrangements. It’s largely a collection of covers, yet none feel substantial or worthwhile. Iggy Pop is all over this record, in the way of Iggy covers (three of ‘em), co-writes, and an embarrassing guest appearance on album closer “Dancing with The Big Boys.” As a diehard Bowie fan, you can fool yourself into finding the good here — trust me, I’ve done it — but sanity ultimately returns. It’s hard to recommend Tonight for anything besides morbid curiosity.