I forgot The Onion existed! Thanks Kevan for sending this my way:
Nation Planning Surprise Party To Cheer Up Conor Oberst
OMAHA, NE ? American citizens are coordinating efforts to lift the spirits of wünderkind singer-songwriter Conor Oberst, sources reported Monday. “I saw Conor’s picture in a Spin article about Bright Eyes, and he just looked so down,” said Lindsey Keisner of Youngstown, OH, one of the party’s 4,000 planners. “The country feels really bad that he’s going through such a rough spell, so next Friday, everyone who can should meet in Omaha with balloons, funny cards, and silly little gag gifts.” Britt Daniel from Spoon will lure Oberst to Omaha by asking him to overdub some vocals.
Kevan’s friend BJ wrote tonight’s Office (“Diversity Day” episode) so you should try to Tivo that. Supposed to be funny.
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Haha! “Overdub some vocals”!
i hate conor oberst and his pussy emo ways.
i am an original office fan so when i saw a clip from the NBC version i threw up in my mouth, is it worth a watch?
I sure hope noone tells Conor about the surprise.
Shhhhhhhhh….it’s a secret.
I hope noone reminds me that The Onion isn’t an actual newspaper.
Shhhhhhh….time to go to sleep.
amen. conor oberst is wildly overrated. and needs to take some meds.
Can we just kill Oberst already and get it over with?
y’all are just gealous of his genious
At the San Diego show during a pause between songs some one from the balcony screamed “your a fucking puusy connor.” He was devistated. And now he wont play SD. Funny show.
Bright Eyes:
06-10 San Diego, CA – SOMA
new office is NOTHING compared to original office. blah! destroyed a perfectly great show. why can’t americans just enjoy british originals? why do they have to constantly copy and destroy?
IF you haven’t seen the BBC version, the American Office is pretty good. Having been a fan of the BBC series though, the American version just came off to me like they were trying too hard, and just didn’t get it.
Bright Eyes has played SD since 6-10.
I LOVE it when the Onion has indie rock reference.
I was listening to one of the new Bright Eyes LPs recently and thought, My God — how the hell am I supposed BUY that this gorgeous, sucessful 22 year old kid who has banged Winona Ryder, has THIS MUCH agony, pain and despair inside?
Oh Conor, I still love you and your shakey voice!
screw you all.. heartless bastards.. you know you love bright eyes..
seein bright eyes (again) next month!!
funny article though.
bright eyes (conor oberst).. is the most talented musician/songwriter i have ever encountered.. he speaks to me through his music and im in love with him. his lyrics are amazing and genius. i cant wait until he comes to Tampa on june 6th.. im counting down the seconds. plus he’s hott.. and umm hes got that indie-punk-coffee shop-poetic mind-kinda mysterious-super smart-accoustic guitar playing-kinda thing going on there.. which is very beautiful to me.
conor!! come to me.. i love you.. you have a beautiful coice its shivery and sexy.. and YOUR NOT A PUSSY! your wonderful.. i appreciate your music..i know alot of ppl dont seem to like your style or respec your music.. but they are coldhearted bitches.. i am a girl drummer and get put down alot for that.. people say im not going to make it.. but im sure ppl said that about you too, i want to be just like you.. but my sonnets and lyrics suck. i hope you mean people out there can learn to enjoy and respect bright eyes’s lyrics and music.
Im getting a tattoo that says “I hate Conor Oberst”… Ok Im not really, but Im getting a custom made bumper sticker that says that… And Im going to assassinate him. I cant believe Jim James toured with him.
Hm. I bet the music you listen to is quite vomitousious. Conor is a better song writer than many many more bands and artists out there. I think its wrong to bash some you dont even know..
and about the San Diego show. Thats not that funny to call somone a pussy because of their music or lifestyle. don’t you hate it when people say crap about who you are. yeah, it sucks doesn’t it. I think its going to be funny when you’re hanging from your attic ceiling.
about the pussy thing. I bet there’s just as many emotional people in metal, and other genres of music and just as emotional as conor. so there
Conor you have beautiful lyrics. I play drums, And one day aspire to have the musical genius that you have, Sadly I’m not even close. Your keen and don’t let people tell you other wise, And if they do..Beat them with a bat perhaps. I heart you!
what the hell? you guys are all just groupies he never called back! yeah! conor oberst is so talented and really beautiful. He started a record comany when he was just 13! yeah bitch! dont think you could do that! all of you peeps who trash talk con, i swear i will slit your throats when you are sleeping and smash your skulls in to the bed posts!!!!!!!
I love Conor Oberst <3
I love Conor Oberst <3
that’s good, because Conor Oberst is lovely<332211
hello..
Conor Oberst is absolutely amazing and if even if you don’t listen to emo/indie music you have to respect the fact that hes completely real and incredibly talented…i’d like to see any of you who bash him to write anything that is half as amazing and creative as what hes written…hes hardly overrated…hes just that good.
conor is gorgeous, && he’s one of the most talented musicians i have ever heard.
so screw all you trash-talkers. he’s the best thing since black converse<33
oh julie, my love! i’m so glad you love me too. may i play with your pussy?
i think the most important thing to do here is go back and read what you guys are writting. i was trying to find a site that was filled with hate. if you just look at what your saying you are all missing the point of music. music isnt about defending people you dont know or insulting people you dont know. conor oberst is an artist. if you like the shit hes putting out listen to it. enjoy it. if you dont, dont listen to it. its meant to be listened to, not looked at. that goes for any artist/band.
if anyone knows how to write and sing music-its conor!
I want Conor Oberst to go to bed with me…and I dont think that any one will ever come up with more intelligent lyrics than he can.
every who is trash talking con needs to commit suicide. i serioiusly worship him and would do anything to meet him. if i ever did meet him.. i totally would have sex with him ! haha no i really would though. and i think all the people who are shit talking about him are just jealous because he’s a genious. his lyrics are great and if you don’t already see that then you are truly not a conor oberst fan. oh yeah, and i hate all these claimer kids…. it’s really annoying how all these stupid little kids think that they are cool because they post comments saying negative things about conor oberst… if you dont like him then just don’t say anythihg.. this is for true bright eyes fans, not stupid little fuckers… bye …
that person “ummm member???” you’re right, but then you’re wrong… that’s true that people shouldn’t be shit talking con. if you don’t like him or his music then just don’t listen to it.. jeez, so then the people like me that are defendng conor don’t even have to. if everyone just said normal, nice things about him and his music then we wouldn’t have to be going through this, but since people do say shit about him obviously true conor fans care and will give our opinion on how we think it’s stupid that they waste their time saying shit about conor… just admire him or don’t say shit..
oh yah, and the “ummm member??” i hope you don’t say that you like bright eyes, because if you don’t defend conor, then you’re a fucking claimer….
What the fuck is going on here?
I love Conor. I love Conor. I love Conor.
Yes, all you people who think Conor needs to take his “meds”, can go shoot yourselves. Conor is my main man, and we have sex often.
I just had 3 shots of bacardi. Hahahaha.
what’s going on here is that people think they are cool beacause they thow in a comment like “ohhh conors gay!” and they think they’re so cool. haha i find it really funny. i loveeeeeeeeee conor<3 :- )
hahaha, i just realized. the person who is pretending to be conor and just posted a comment saying ” what the fuck is going on here” . whoever that is.. uh, you put the wrong website.hahaha it’s not http://www.saddlecreek.com it’s http://www.saddle-creek.com
you’re a claimer !!
i loves sobes. she is right. i support her. bff!!
i love you sobes. everything you said is right. bffs
eye wont two bee cawnar’s luvrr he duzn’t hav two luv
I don’t hate the fucker because he’s such an overrated self righteous actor producing mushy bullshit promoted as genuine emotion, I hate him because he’s somehow gotten to the girls I know and they’re all wheeping along their crocodile tears not showing any interest in genuine talents like daniel johnston or kimya dawson for instance
Its truly a waste of valuable time to go bashing an artist such as Conor, his music is quite deep and beautiful. If you don?t think so, that?s fine, but its very immature to go bitching about something you don?t like just to get some people who agree with you for your personal pathetic comfort in being accepted (That?s the base reason anyone says anything bashing someone else, accept it) And it is very judgmental to say just because someone is; Rich, famous, and fucked Winona Ryder that they should be happy. He could have any number of problems going on that he doesn?t exactly want to boast on about in his interviews. Maybe he’s just a very emotional deep person who wants to write something beautiful. To think that someone with Money and previous sexual experiences with Winona Ryder is Happy, is ignorant. You are basically saying that money will buy you happiness… how pathetic and simple minded do you have to be to possibly even come up with such a ludicrous theory. Also, to all you ?Fans? who have only listened to his Lifted Cd and Post little messages on my space boards like ?omg he?s sooo hawt!!! ” … Please… go slit your wrists the wrong way with a blunt razor blade so I can take a 5 minute break from your ANNOYING fucking posts, Conor wasn?t always hot, in Commander Venus he was an ugly chubby book worm looking child… nothing you?d drool over believe me. Lets face facts, you all did a little Google search for Emo bands, looked up a few bright eyes pictures, and thought to yourself ?OMG he?s SOOOO emoooo and HAWTT!!! he muust be good!!? so then you go to your lime wire, download; Lover I don?t Have to Love, Bowl of Oranges, and Lua… eventually about a month after considering yourself a fan you buy Lifted (Maybe not even do that) then you go onto my space, possibly vampire freaks (I?ve been seeing a lot of these clones on there lately to) …and post about how hot he is and how deep is music is when you have not even heard the good stuff… *sigh* … Okay… I?m done talking now..
Having been a musician since I was 5 years old, and having many, many years of musical experience since and being quite the talented pianist and musician myself…Conor Oberst genuinely sucks..Most of you supporting him suck at music and don’t know good music from bad…He sucks okay? He is completely horrible! His voice is one of the shittiest I have ever heard, and his guitar is a few chords here and there that suck together anyway. He is completely dreadful, and most of his fans are wannabe musicians anyway so they suck too. But keep listening to your shitty music and thinking you’re cool ’cause you can brag about someone that sucks. Oh and by the way… Getting a record deal at age 13 doesn’t mean shit- you only have to have the proper connections.
conor oberst is very unique. his shaky nervous voice makes me feel his pain. Im black and brought “a digital ash in a digital urn” on a dare and fell in love with him and the album. He is just an emotional persom sharing it with the world respect that. I love “GOLD MINE GUTTED” that song is beautiful. I heart CONOR!! What a wierd last name:OBERST
Connor Needs to take his meds.
Connor Needs to take his meds.
Connor Needs to take his meds.
Connor Needs to take his meds.
Connor Needs to take his meds.
Connor Needs to take his meds.
Connor Needs to take his meds.
Connor Needs to take his meds.
Connor Needs to take his meds.
first of all, jackie, you’re cracked up. and so is everyone who is obsessed and wants to make love to conor. conor oberst has beautiful thoughts but you don’t need to act all erratic.
and whoever corrected saddle-creek, you are crazy too because you have nothing to do with your life but read this dumb website over and over and over again. MMk!?
you guys are CRAAAAAAAZZZZZZYY.
go do something productive with your life.
haha and i can almost guarantee you guys are going to be burning this post so go aheadddddddddd suckers. you are worthless.
Wow. I can’t believe you could ever say something like that. You disgust me you low life scum bag. Connor Oberst is my idol. He is the only musician I have ever heard who actually feels his music. Your obviously too stupid and arrogant to notice. GO FUCK YOURSELF CONNOR NAZIS.
I actually like connor oberst…
but i think its stupid that all you people talk about is sleeping with him….if he really means that much to you, and his lyrics/music/whatever is sooooo amazing to you…then talking about him like hes a piece of meat is just belittling his creativity….
i mean yeah..if i ever met him…( most likely wont ) and he wanted to have sex…sure id be down….but i dont sit and think about it
i think about him talent. not his dick.
but yeah…just a thought…
Connor is certainly not a pussy nor a poor musician/song writer. FOr those who say “get into real music” your reading a reply from a music major, so dont even try responding anything of the sort to me, cause your bs music styles dont mean sh*t to me. His lyrics are probably the most perfect lyrics, and his expression of them in his music is perfect, so if that makes him a pussy, that makes you closed minded. out of all the bands i listen to (which is many from a bunch of genres) his expression/words/music is probably the best performance i’ve ever seen/heard. Music isn’t just the melody and the chords, its the word, expression and acting that goes into it. Thats what makes music an art form, and all the “music” you faggots claim is real music, most likely isnt. Connor, Rock on man!
NA pretty much said all i’d want to say
i lost the love of my life because i couldn’t put up with her incessant bright eyes obsession. that and elliot smith. i’m a punk rock guy. i live for it, im in a punk rock band but i can’t stand people that live for just emotion in their music. i tried to appreciate it and could not. but for some reason i do like daniel johnston. go fucking figure.
For all of you flammers, how mature. Conor is not at all “emo” in his music. He is emotional in his music, but he isn’t emo. Emo is a pseudo emotion. There is a HUGE difference between conor and my chemical romance….fall out boy, and whatever other music that holds no reality. He couldn’t stand the thought of genered “emo” in a few interviews. Conor is a prodigy.
Whats the point of trying to cheer him up anyways, does he have that much influence in your life?
Some people like pineapples, some don’t. Why take the fun away from the pineapple people?
God people are fucking stupid and should be burned alive.
If you Don’t like Conor Oberst/Bright eyes then you don’t have any taste in music and YOUR the goddamn pussy. He is amazing. Every word he writes is amazing. If conor oberstasm was a religion, I would be the Pope. I love you Conor.
Keep rocking my world!!
Connor is a Bob Dylan copycat. If you`re in love with Oberst, it`s because you`re really in love with Dylan. Get rid of your pathetic obsession by buying a Dylan album (anyone of them). I used to like Bright Eyes before I really listened to Dylan.
Wow. You’re not bitter or modest or anything are you? Don’t get me wrong, I hate the crap out of his music too. Honestly, I would rather listen to the sound of my mother screaming whilst being mauled to death by a pack of wild dogs. Though I can admit Oberst’s got SOME talent, there’s no denying that he’s EXTREMELY overrated. But regardless of how annoying all his frickin’ whining is, what’s up with you acting like you deserve a record deal? Can you say Narcissism? Sounds like you and Connor at least have that in common.