R. Kelly love in NY Times Magazine‘s Year In Ideas issue:
If you consider it only as a concept, “Trapped in the Closet” seems inevitable. It touches on the big entertainment megatrends: the branded franchise, the automatic spinoff to DVD, the self-updating content of podcasting, the campy soap opera of “Desperate Housewives.” As for the song itself, that’s a different story. “Trapped in the Closet” may indeed be without precedent. It is also completely bananas…With no end in sight, Kelly claims to have written as far as Chapter 23; he has also suggested that he’ll turn “Trapped in the Closet” into a play or a movie. But the true joy of “Trapped in the Closet” doesn’t come from the increasingly ridiculous plot twists – by Chapter 9, the love triangle has grown into an octangle that includes a midget stripper named Big Man. Rather, it comes from the incantatory melody, which unspools itself like some R&B liturgy, floating on Kelly’s passionate articulation and sudden, thrilling falsetto. When Kelly sings “the midget’s the baby’s daddy” – well, by Chapter 11, you probably saw it coming, but even so, the line just soars.
The author has coined this concept “The Serialized Pop Song.”
Let’s assume this trend inspires other artists. Which indie rock band (it’s more fun than that way) would YOU like to see make a 9-part Serialized Pop Song? Summarize the plot, and extra points if you include a spatula and/or midget.
The funniest comment (decided by Scott, Jim, and Jed) will receive R. Kelly’s “Trapped In The Closet” Parts 1-12 DELUXE DVD.
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“the midget’s the baby’s daddy”… thats a hard line to make soar. It takes years of vocal mastery. lets hope “big man” appreciates R.Kelly’s dedication to creating affective emotional impact whilst adressing the subject of the paternal plight of little people.
Chapter 1: Sufjan Stevens, suspicious that his girlfriend hasn’t shown up for Bible Study, drives throughtout the fifty states looking for her car. He finds it parked at the home of his good friend Daniel Smith, and when he looks through the window, he sees them holding hands! CLIFFHANGER.
Chapter 2: Sufjan kicks down Daniel Smith’s door waving a conductor’s wand mennacingly, and threatens Daniel’s eyes with it. “Don’t you know she has cancer of the bone!” he sings in his inimitable pale falsetto, a scale that shoots upward to heaven. After an extended argument, Daniel Smith reveals that they were simply praying. He grabs his Bible as evidence. Sufjan drops the wand. With Sufjan’s guard down, Daniel Smith opens his bible to reveal a gun in its dug-out compartment! CLIFFHANGER
Chapter 3: Sufjan Stevens is cornered by Daniel Smith, waving a gun. His wife admits that their relationship is far from holy, and Sufjan begins to cry. But Daniel Smith quickly relveals that he covets more than his wife. Screaming at Sufjan in his inimitable falsetto howl, Daniel Smith details Sufjan’s sins: “It’s time your girlfriend learned the truth/ about what you’ve been doing with your youth group./ Remember John Wayne Gacy, when you said/ look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid./ Well I looked, and there’s actually a bunch of dead kids!” CLIFFHANGER
Chapter 4: Sufjan begins this chapter with an extended soliloquey, sung to the tune of Amazing Grace. As his voice lifts into the heavens, admitting his guilt and begging the Lord for mercy, the choirs of Angels join around him and sing harmonies the likes of which mortal ears have never heard. It’s trademark Sufjan, and his wife’s heart starts to melt. As Sufjan finishes, she steps from out of Daniel Smith’s arms and into Sufjan’s, singing her own version, repenting for her adultery, and confessing her previous plan to kill him and run of with Daniel Smith. All seems well until Daniel Smith shoots his gun into the air, wounding an angel, which falls to the floor with a birdlike squak! CLIFFHANGER
….STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTERS 4 THROUGH 8!!!
At what point does he pee on the midget?
Bam, first one to snag the most obvious joke.
Hey D…that was hilarious…thanks for the laugh!
how bout michael jackson’s trapped in the pantry. trapped in the pantry of course are little kids. with cancer.
too easy?
thanks Holla…but so many typos…Sufjan’s girlfriend became his wife halfway through, but you get the point.
Let’s just assume it is his wife…we all know that Sufjan is a good christian boy and would never consider having sex outside of marriage…
Rumor has it that Peter Jackson will have a budget of $250 million to film all 23 chapters at once, using motion capture to recreate the infamous golden shower sequence
so i pull out my rocket launcher!
TRAPPED IN A DIVE, by The Strokes
Chapter One: Julian details life at a sleazy bar in NYC, where he smokes a lot, drinks a lot, and hits on girls a lot. He hits on this one girl who tells him she’s barely legal. Cliffhanger.
Chapter Two: Julian ditches the jailbait and goes to another sleazy bar in NYC, where he smokes a lot, drinks a lot, and hits on more girls. He hits on this one girl who tells him she’s barely legal. Cliffhanger.
Chapter Three: Julian ditches the jailbait and goes to another sleazy bar in NYC, where he smokes a lot, drinks a lot, and hits on more girls. He hits on this one girl who tells him she’s barely legal. Cliffhanger.
Chapter Four: Julian ditches the jailbait and goes to another sleazy bar in NYC, where he smokes a lot, drinks a lot, and hits on more girls. He hits on this one girl who tells him she’s barely legal. Cliffhanger.
Chapter Five: Finally, a little bit bored and a little bit drunk, Julian goes home and watches cartoons while dicking around on his guitar and feeling sorry for himself. “Oh well,” he sings, “at least it’s something different.”
CYHSY! was originally going to be the baby’s daddy, but they turned it down.
How is this different from a concept album? Like say, Blueberry Boat?
“Trapped in Time” by the Fiery Furnaces
Chapter One:
Eleanor finds herself in a Prohibition-era speakeasy downing whiskey with a pirate. They talk about James Joyce and President Coolidge. Somebody mentions boats. The key and tempos shift suddenly. Is that a glockenspiel? The pirate kidnapped her.
Chapter Two:
Eleanor finds herself in Bolivia downing tequila with Che Guevara. They talk about Pablo Naruda and General Batista. Somebody mentions boats. Three minutes of dissonant synths repeating the same riff. Che Guevara kidnapped her.
Chapter Three:
Matt gets to sing something. It’s ok. I guess.
Chapter Four:
Eleanor finds herself in Vichy France downing absinthe with Jean-Paul Sartre. They talk about Albert Camus and Josef Stalin. Somebody mentions boats. Is that…is that a melody? Sweet Jebus, it is! This…people could actually enjoy this! Now we’re talking!
Chapter Five:
Eleanor and Matt record an album of their old babysitter coughing up phlegm from her cancer-ridden lungs. The editors of Pitchfork pass out masturbating to it. Somebody mentions boats.
Dammit, Jon! Beat me to the punch.
My vote goes to Burton.. both for his FF one and his CYHSY! comment…
Billy Corgan presents: Trapped in my own Head
CHAPTER 1: Billy Corgan writes an album’s worth of crap. He releases it, self-depricating kids eat it up. The rest of the world hates it. Corgan waxes poetic about being too far ahead of the musical curve. No one buys it.
CHAPTER 2: Billy phones Pitchfork to pitch an interview casting himself as a martyr and a genius. No one buys it. His interview is interrupted to accomodate Ryan Adams’ latest P4K interview to promote his latest heel turn. Corgan challenges Adams to a song-writing contest.
CHAPTER 3: Both Adams and Corgan lock themselves away for 2 hours, each coming out with 3 albums worth of material. Adams releases all 3 albums within the week, and shits out another album to be released two months later. Corgan chooses to not release his music to the world fearing its genius would shatter the delicate balance of the musical world. No one gives a damn.
CHAPTER 4: Billy, believing his genius is slowly rotting his brain, contacts ECW to get back into wrestling. He finds out ECW no longer exists and that he isn’t the only musician to be involved w/ wrestling. Furious and feeling unoriginal, he hunts down Bob Mould and challenges him to a steel cage match. The undercard: Mexican Midgets.
CHAPTER 5: Trying to back out of the purposed match, Billy feverishly dials up D’Arcy, Iha and Chamberlain hoping to use a Smashing Pumpkins reunion to hide from “Mad Dog” Mould. The band agrees to join Corgan before the match.
CHAPTER 6: Corgan, thinking the Pumpkins will help him out against Bob Mould, is stunned when Iha hits him from behind with a steel chair as D’Arcy and Chamberlain leave ringside. In a pool of the blackest eyeliner imaginable, Corgan believes everyone is out to end his genius. Mould quickly makes the cover as special referee Ryan Adams counts a quick 1, 2, 3.
CHAPTER 7: Alone in a pit of despair, Corgan returns to Chicago. Hoping to regain his status as the premiere songwriter in the world, Corgan sets about writing his comeback album. When it’s finished, it will sound just like every album he has ever written. 7 people will pretend to care. Even less will buy the album. Peer sharing networks will automatically ban anyone who even has a snippet of a song from the album. Corgans continues to believe he’s a martyr.
The Mountain Goats in: “Trapped in Georgia”
CHAPTER 1: The song begins in a similar way as “Going to Georgia”, with John Darnielle strumming chords accompanied by heartwarming lyrics. John is relieved to be home with the woman he loves, and he begins to make himself comfortable. He promises never to leave again. After a couple of fades, showing John shifting positions in the same recliner, he begins to look bored. CLIFFHANGER.
CHAPTER 2: John quickly realizes that, you know, there really isn’t that much to do in Georgia. The story follows him as he sets out to the local grocery store for food for the evening. As he waits in line, the man in front of him calls for a pricecheck. CLIFFHANGER.
CHAPTER 3: John returns home, tired and weary, with the groceries to see his girlfriend in the doorway; he comments that the most remarkable thing about her standing in the doorway is that it’s her and she’s holding the door open. He says hello to his girlfriend, puts the groceries on the counter, and heads to sit down for a little. His girlfriend prepares the food while he flips through the few staticy channels the old antenna picks up. His girlfriend tells him the food is ready, but he smells a peculiar odor: It is burnt. CLIFFHANGER.
CHAPTER 4: John and his girlfriend finish eating and his girlfriend decides to go to sleep early that night. Alone, John begins to reflect on his old days, when he travelled all throughout the world. Utercht, Bolivia, Queens, Lebanon, Taurus… he was really alive back then. But ever since he’s settled down, he hasn’t felt that thrill. John passes out in his chair. CLIFFHANGER
CHAPTER 5: John wakes up at four in the morning in a cold sweat. He looks at the room around him; he cannot believe what he has become. The excitement in his relationship has dwindled down to next to nothing – their life has become nothing more than a series of drab day-to-day tasks. He decides that he needs to get out of there, even if by the cover of night. He leaves a note for his girlfriend, claiming that he needs to get back to civilization. CLIFFHANGER.
CHAPTER 6: John leaves as the sun begins to rise. He heads to a distant land to work on his next album, which he has decided will be a fictional narrative telling the tale of a midget and his spatula.
PS: My personal favorite stands as the Sufjan tale, but I figured I’d give it a shot. What I wouldn’t do for an R Kelly DVD!
So the NY Times Magazine is saying this is “without precedent”? Sure, maybe with respect to the fact that it’s the same terrible tune over and over again, but how about The Streets’ “A Grand Don’t Come for Free”? Mike Skinner managed to piece his actually coherent plot together through an entire album, and I’m sure he’s not the first to do it.
Anyway, how come R. Kelly’s not in jail yet? “R.Kelly can buy his way out of videotaped sex with a 15 year old” is the new “Magic Johnson bought his way out of AIDS.”
Chapter 1: Mark E. Smith hires new Fall Gruppe. Band rehearses, records 2 LP’s worth of material, does low-key Scotland gig, attempts to commence tour of various old Soviet Bloc countries and USA. Group makes it to Austin when MES fires band & manager/broker.
Chapters 2-22: Repeat ad nauseum, including occasional “return to form” reviews for each new album, use of Peel’s “always different, always the same” quote, and Smith’s latest surprise namecheck from hip US/UK band of the moment.
Chapter 23: Smith finally sacks everyone and gets yer granny on bongos. Armitage Shanks sue while Malkmus laughs from the sidelines. Smith finally dies, and the tributes flood in. Reputation sealed with 2008 biopic, “Mark E. Cha-Cha.” Harvey Weinstein gets Fall songwriting royalties for his troubles.
if anyone includes a golden showers scene in their chapters, a ricky martin cameo is mandatory.
can anyone tell me why my comment is being denied for “questionable content”? i swear i didn’t say anything bad… i just wanted to post my story?
trapped in the closet is among the nominations for the worst video of 2005 at videos.antville.org
cast your vote here
also: vote for best video of 2005 here
aah what the heck , then I will do the catering,
blokje kaas, uitje? vlaggetje erop?
The New Pornographers are trapped in Broken Social Scene’s.
Chapter one: Neko Case and Emily Haines have a lover’s spat about chord changes from major to minor. The entire arguement rhymes. Each line ends with “no more”, or “no mo’” whichever suits them more. Then A.C. Newman barges in and falls to the floor, covered in blood. Neko and Emily stare at each other in shock. (cliffhanger)
Chapter two: AC slowly rolls over, wincing. The more he rolls over the louder he yells. By the time he is on his back he is yelling. But his yelling in rhyme. “My back hurts, OW!” “My leg, my leg, YEOW!” and so on. Niko and Emily rush over to him and ask him what happened. So he stands up, lights a cigarette, and asks them “for a light, so he can tell of his plight”. The give him a bugs bunny band aid and cleans him up. He goes on to say he was at the Arcade Fire show, and trouble insued. He thinks they followed him here and we need to get out. So they quickly leave. Run down the stairs. Open the door. And call a taxi. The Taxi stops. The get in. The driver turns around. And its Win Butler, and he is not happy. (another damn cliffhanger)
Chapter Three: Niko, Emily, And AC are frightened, but getting very hungry. The tell Win to stop at the crepe shop. Win screams no and there is something i have to show you all. He drives them to the local mall. Driving faster and faster, our hero’s are getting more and more scared. Win crashes into the mall. And runs out and tells everyone to follow him. We’re headed to the Sam Goody, he says. EVeryone runs. The mall enterance is in shambles. They get to Sam Goody. Win says something to the worker. She directs him to a section. Win screams ‘LOOK WE ARE ALL EQUAL HERE. WE ARE ALL LIKED THE SAME BY THESE PEOPLE AT THIS RECORD STORE HERE. THE ARCADE FIRE SHOULD BE THE DARLINGS OF EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE!’ He glares at Emily and Neko and AC. They just laugh. “Oh you crazy dude, we’re all in cahoot, none of us should fight, lets make this situation bright!”
(holy crap: NO CLIFFHANGER!!!)
Chapter 4: There is a themed orgy party. They call it: Broken Scene Pornographers themed sweater party. EVeryone must where broken “scene-style” sweaters are warn, with scenes from pornography embroidered on the front, in christmas colors. Then they get naked and do it all to the alluring sounds of Mariah Carey.
seriously stay tuned for the next 78 chapters, because babies are made, samoans arrive, crackheads that from the future arrive in their time machine, and a little band called “Dolph Lundgren” attempts to overthrow the BSS/NP scene!
the man that first came to my mind was sufjan, someone already did that so i wont go into more detial.
Here’s my unnecessarily long “Death Cab in the Closet”:
Chapter 1: Ben Gibbard of Death Cab For Cutie, having always fallen fast and trusting in the promises that “no one’s ever been here”, is contentedly in love with a sweet and innocent girl. He wakes up one morning, having finally spent the night at his pure girlfriend’s apartment, as dark grey clouds in the distance move closer every hour. He has a sudden flashback to the days of discontent and emo. Unsettled, he decides to search the room as his girlfriend is in the bathroom. He looks under the bed, in the dresser drawers, and finally, subconsciously remembering some rap song he heard in passing on the radio, he looks in the closet to find . . . CLIFFHANGER!
Chapter 2: Sex toys! Condoms! Everything impure! “Hey, what are you . . . oh,” says his girlfriend as she walks back into the room. “I want purity, I must have it here right now!” he yells, “don’t you get me started now!” As the summer is ending, he decides to pack a change of clothes and move on. She asks him to write her letters, but . . . CLIFFHANGER!
Chapter 3: . . . he’d rather lose her address, so as he travels he intentionally writes a letter out to be an illegible mess. He arrives in LA to stay with an old girlfriend (considering the number of idiosyncratic songs about relationships ending, there must be hundreds, ne pas?). It takes him forever to get to her house, because the freeway’s always creeping even when the population’s sleeping. When he stops at the gas station, he asks the employee “Do you ever have trouble breathing?” and he says “It varies from season to season.” Gibbard finally arrives at his ex’s place and says “I don’t know why you’d want to live here.” “Stop following me,” she replies, “I broke up with you five years ago, get freaking over it already!” She slams the door. Where will Ben go now? CLIFFHANGER!
Chapter 4: Once again he’s crossing the country alone. It’s getting into wintertime now. Gibbard starts to think that maybe this will be useful, all this travelling, but then thinks that “it’s brainless to assume that making changes to your window’s view will give a new perspective.” He moves to Boston and shortly meets a beautiful girl who he falls madly in love with. Everything is going fine, but now he’s too happy, and unable to write trademarked quirkily-sad emo/indie songs! CLIFFHANGER!
Chapter 5: One day he puts on his overcoat and walks into winter, his teeth chattering rythms grouped in twos and threes like a morse code message to himself. He passes cars stuck on slippery slopes, people pushing through their mittens. It seems to get colder with every step he takes to his girlfriend’s apartment. He gets there and sees as through a Kaleidoscrope, the snow on his lenses distorting the image. His girlfriend gives him a look, and he sees exactly what she’s thinking: this ain’t working anymore. CLIFFHANGER!
Chapter 6: Parents left their children outside ’till their noses were blue, and Ben Gibbard got left there too. Poor, poor Ben. He moves to New York (hey, a little more moving can’t hurt at this point). He goes off the a funeral for his absentee father, but he won’t praise his integrity. When the priest invites him up to speak, he just sings “ba baaa, ba baaa, ba baaa ba ba” repeatedly. Embarassed, he runs off. CLIFFHANGER!
Chapter 7: He sits on a carousel ride alone. Everything is closed on Coney Island, and Ben Gibbard cannot help but smile (ing). He goes off to a bar and starts to talk about the impossibility of one to love unconditionally, writing a mildly enigmatic song reminicing about the vague notions of all these relationship. People at sites like songmeanings will inevitably later argue and writhe over the song in emotive bliss. But wait, that’s an entire album now. How could he possibly have any more material? CLIFFHANGER!
Chapter 8: So this is the new year, and he doesn’t feel any different. Inspired by this depression, and the fact that he has probably now left girls behind for one reason or another all around the world, he writes an album worth of songs about distances in relationships both metaphorical and literal. “Brilliant!” he says to himself. “But wait . . . I’ve spent so much time travelling around, I have no band!” CLIFFHANGER!
Chapter 9: Later Gibbard is lamenting and expressing his sorrows to a casual friend in the bar. “I hear you,” says his friend Chris Walla, “I almost went into music myself, but I couldn’t find anyone else, and I’m more of a guitarist/producer than a singer/songwriter. But hey, I did good, going to University and getting a physics degree instead.” Gibbard tacitly acknowledges this while wallowing in his sorrows. “But hey,” says Walla, “you were saying earlier how you wished the world was flat like the old days, and you could travel just by folding a map?” Gibbard nods. “Well, I like the fact that space-time is curved, it’s why my *time machine* works!” CLIFFHANGER!!!
Chapter 10: Gibbard seizes Walla by the arm and demands to see this time machine. Walla takes him back to his apartment . . . and now you’re expecting the coming out of the closet part? Hah! Indie rock never gives you what you expect! There actually is a time machine! “I know what I’m going to do,” says Gibbard. “I’m going to travel back in time, and make sure the past-me stays happy with his girlfriend, stable enough that he can form a band.” “But wait,” asks Chris Walla, “how will he have the years of heartbreak and loss to cull from for material?” “Easy, I’ll give him all my notes, he can go right to success without having ever gone through it.” “Insane! Everyone knows everything anyone sings about is a personal experience!” “I know, but goddammit, I have to try!” CLIFFHANGER!
Chapter 11: Ben Gibbard travels back in time, and returns to the present. It seems to have worked; apparently his alternative self created a band, worked from the sorrowful notebooks that Gibbard gave, and went on to success. But wait; he signed to a major label? How can it be indie rock if it’s not independent? CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!!
[To be continued?]
I’d take a picture but my umbrella’s going CRAZY!
r. kelly want big man to be his baby daddy. he’s short enough to at least look like a child.
Gary Glitter – Trapped in Vietnam
Chapter 1 – Glitter purchased a plane ticket online (priceline.com) for a one way trip to Vietnam. The ticket was personally delivered to his doorstep by William Shatner and they both praised each other on their talents and Glitter decides to take Shatner out on the town. They entered a seedy hotel where a bewildered Shatner became increasingly concerned. Glittler tells Shatner that he is going to have on hell of a good time….Shatner eyes the door as it slowly opens up…in walks…..
Dakota Fanning.
Chapter Two -
Shatner, bugged out and completely out of his mind tried to strangle Glitter and they fought and groped each other as they rolled around on the floor, Dakota Fanning yells for them to stop. Glittler punches Shatner’s lights out and grab the planet ticket from his Sports coat. Dakota Fanning starts to cry and ran out of the room. Glittler follows her. As soon as Glitter was about to exit the room, Jackie Chan Karate Chopped him in the throat.
Chapter Three
Glitter and Chan and Shatner (out cold on the floor) questioned each other’s real purposes at that seedy motel. Jackie claimed he was scouting the area out for his next film. Glittler claimed to have followed Shatner into the hotel because he was curious. Police Sirens screamed out in the distance and Glitter ran for the airport. Dakota Fanning was kidnapped by a group of Hollywood Agents. Jackie Chan flies out of the motel window and tries to be a hero but instead landed on Glitter who was already out on the sidewalk hailing down a Taxi. Inside the Taxi, R.Kelly was crying and Glitter, with no choice, jumps in and yell at the Driver to hurry up and drive him to the airport.
Chapter Four
R.Kelly and Glitter soon became Kindred brothers inside that taxi ride to the airport. R.Kelly gave Glitter hints and clues on how to pick up young girls. Glitter was pleased but also annoyed that R.Kelly’s youngest lover was only 14. Glitter then made an unexpected move and kicked R.Kelly out of a moving car. Some minutes later, Glitter arrives the airport, a hasty and nervous Glitter got on the Airplane and jettison straight to Vietnam. Upon landing, he found a 12 year old girl who was begging him for money. Glitter, always the opportunist he decides to take her along with him. Some hours later, a fist flew out from behind a palm tree and struck Glitter in the face. He stumbles and falls flat on his ass. He looks up…surprised “Shatner? you again.”
Chapter Five
Shatner explained himself. Apparently Shatner purchased two plane tickets for Vietnam and Glitter grabbed only one of the tickets. Shatner said he bought two tickets because the second one was only half price and thought he should jump on the opportunity. Glitter, angry and hungry, grabbed the 12 year old girl and tossed her at Shatner and ran away yelling “I’ll find more where that came from” and disappeared into the jungle. Shatner look down at the little girl and was surprised to see her struggling to unzip his pants zipper. He slaps her hard across the face and a couple of villager saw it and went after him. Shatner ran for his life. Meanwhile, Glitter came upon a hut and heard some moaning and groaning. Curious, he peered inside and saw two people having sex. The person inside the hut suddenly reaches over and pulls a gun on Glitter….
RONALD McDONALD? Glitter feel to his knees.
Chapter Six
“I’m no longer Ronald Mcdonald” said the clown. I appeared in only four pitiful commercial during 1993. Glitter questioned him some more. The girl inside the hut came out to see what was happening. Glitter turns to look…”Lindsay Lohan!! what the fuck are you doing here?” Ronald McDonald: “Listen bitch. We found each out in L.A three weeks ago. She said she was a big fan of Ronnie and Mickey D so I said, ‘Let’s go to Vietnam for the hell of it’ and she agreed to it.” And Glitter said “So you two are fucking in some straw hut 20,000 mile away from home?” and suddenly out of the bushes came Shatner again but this time he was carrying an elephant gun. “Wrong, Glitter…I hired Ronnie Redhead here as my escort and I lured him to Vietnam by telling him that Lindsay Lohan was here…apparently she really was here.”
Ronnie: You mean you were lying to me about Lindsay Lohan this whole entire time?
Shatner: Listen Ronnie…There she is right there next to you and you were having such a good time having sex before this idiot showed up.
Ronnie: But you lied to me.
Glitter: WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP? I am the one that wanted to come here.
Shatner: Why?
Glitter: Because I am in love with an 11 year old Vietnamese girl and I want her to be my wife.
Everything went quiet. Everybody was in shock.
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah presents Trapped in the Blogs, parts 1-8
Part 1: A completely unknown group is discovered by the internet.
Part 2: A wave of completely unexpected popularity washes over the group. Lead singer Alec Ounsworth begins to date a pre-op transsexual named “Sheila.”
Part 3: An interview on NPR where the band is shown thousands of blog posts about them. “Sheila” begins talking in tongues. Lee and Tyler Sargent get drunk on Jack Daniels and beat up a midget.
Part 4: Alec discovers that the midget and “Sheila” are having an affair. This news makes the rounds on various blogs, along with the pronouncement that the band has “sold out to the rocker lifestyle.”
Part 5: The midget discovers “Sheila’s” secret. Alec receives seven hundred emails in a single day, begins to have a breakdown, and puts a picture of himself naked on his website.
Part 6: The band attempts to make a video for their latest single, in which both “Sheila” and the midget appear. The Sargents and the midget get into another brawl over “points,” while “Sheila” proceeds to get stoned out of her mind.
Part 7: The video is completed but is met with hostile reaction on the blogs. Alec begins to completely break down, but a night of passion with “Sheila” reveals her secret in an unsavory fashion.
Part 8: Alec cracks under all the pressure from the internet and “Sheila’s” revelation, so he goes on a “rehabilitation trip” to South Africa. Meanwhile, the Sargents and the midget buy large gold necklaces and form a rap trio.
Meh… it seemed good in concept, but I’m not so sure about the execution.
http://www.myspace.com/drunkinthecloset
Thanks for the add.
Play the Trapped in the Closet Commentary Drinking Game.
The best part of the DVD is the Mighty R doing commentary to the video. It’s basically him just repeating what he says in the song. Whoever wins is really lucky
The roving clan of atheist homosexual blasphemers known as the “Animal Collective” come across a midget. They cook him using a spatula. Hilarity ensues!
It’s already been done… By Misinformed Manzerick.
http://www.gracelandwest.com/misinformedmanzerick/misinformed/Main%20Pages/LATTA.html There’s the story.
Here’s the concept album.
http://www.gracelandwest.com/misinformedmanzerick/misinformed/Main%20Pages/intro-downloads.html