I heard something disturbing on TV the other day. It was a commercial for the movie Scoop. “From the director of Match Point” was the pitch. Jeez, I know he made some lousy flicks in the last twenty years, but is “new Woody Allen movie” so unpalatable to Scarlett Johansson fans?
M Night Shyamalan, meanwhile, has bigger problems. His new thriller Lady In The Water is fun to whisper, but a drag to watch. I’m told the plot is more incoherent than a Justin Timberlake video. How long will “Directed by M Night Shyamalan” remain a valid marketing angle?
Let’s momentarily ignore the writer/director/actors’ big screen slumps, and see who’s got the better iTunes Celebrity Playlist (both posted yesterday).
M Night Shyamalan
1. Bob Dylan & Johnny Cash – “Girl From The North Country”
Damn, I wish I could be one percent as inspiring as this.
2. Bob Dylan – “Blowin’ In The Wind”
This is empircal evidence that he is a god.
3. Blink-182 – “All Of This”
I love this song. Almost did a video for this. It would have been about vampires.
4. Pearl Jam – “Rearviewmirror”
“I wrote my first studio screenplay to this.”
5. Concrete Blonde – “Joey”
Reminds me of my N.Y.U. days. Love this song.
6. Tesla – “Love Song (Live From The Trocadero)”
I was there when they recorded this. I’m screaming with the rest of them.
7. Eminem – “Lose Yourself”
Anthem for all us outcasts.
8. Jeff Buckley – “Strange Fruit (Live)”
Like being in a trance. Spiritual.
9. Jeff Buckley – “Hallejulah”
One of the ten best songs ever recorded. I tried to get this for The Sixth Sense.
10. Kanye West – “Through The Wire”
When this song comes on, my children and I start cheering at the Unbreakable reference.
11. Pearl Jam – “Alive”
Somehow, these three songs are what I feel inside, but can’t express.
12. Pearl Jam – “Black”
Somehow, these three songs are what I feel inside, but can’t express.
13. Pearl Jam – “Jeremy”
Somehow, these three songs are what I feel inside, but can’t express. Pearl Jam are gods of storytelling.
14. Johnny Cash – “Hurt”
It brings tears to my eyes. Are we all going to feel like this in the end?
15. U2 – “Bad”
One of the classic songs of all-time. Sprawling and epic, like “Stairway To Heaven.”
Woody Allen
Jazz
Tough call. I’m gonna give it to Woody. You can’t put three songs from the same album on a mix.
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yes you can. hater.
you had me at rearviewmirror (but maybe not three ten songs)
Those are four superb Pearl Jam songs.
But you can’t put four songs from the same artist on a mix, Shyamamamamalan.
I once did a mash up of Pearl Jam’s “Black” with Pearl Jam’s “Black.” It was some meta-ironic shit.
You can put 4 songs of the same artist on a mix; it just makes you look uninspired and clueless about other music. Thus, you can if you want a shitty mix.
Oh Joey…I’m not angry anymore.
Love that he was actually at a Tesla concert. He wins for that alone.
Woody pegs Bud Powell as the best jazz piano player. Woody wins.
Bad is a fantastic song.
I have never heard “Jazz” before – who sings that one?
Woody Allen is the winner, clearly.
That’s funny, because when I saw the ad I was thinking the same thing. Match Point? What about Annie Hall, Sleeper, even Bullets Over Broadway? I guess its aimed at a different audience. I really love Scarlett though.
The Tesla and misspelling “screenplay” kinda negate any other positives in M.’s list.
sidney bechet * coltrane * thelonious * charlie parker * louie armstrong!!!!
woody allen wins in a rout…..
though i do love the dylan/cash north country song…..
but, woody is the ultimate artist!
and has done a movie a year for what seems like the past 20….
m. night…….good night.
see you in the cut out bins….
nothing will ever top annie hall, manhattan, stardust memories in my humble opinion…..
love ya woody!
I agree… you can’t have multiple songs by the same artist on a miz…
…unless it’s Jeff Buckley.
aagh! “mix”
can’t type this morning
You can have two by the same artist but only if they are very different songs. If it’s two songs by, say, Blink-182, that doesn’t work because all of their songs are shitty pop power ballads.
I’m not really a jazz fan, so I’ll have to go with M. Night, even though I like Woody Allen more. And “Scoop” looks weird…I mean, Hugh Jackman and Scarlett Johannson? I can’t imagine them having chemistry at all…
Woody Allen by a landslide.
i thought Justin’s video for “Cry me a river” was completely coherent. and really good.
Woody wins hands down.
And he has been pimping awesome jazz publicly for as long as I can remember.
One other thing…”Anthem for all us outcasts?!”
My students think this one-trick pony is a god. How can you be an outcast when folks will throw millions at you each time you take a crap?
(…must be hungry. too cranky…)
Went to NYU with Shyamalan and I’m SHOCKED… Shocked?.. Yes, SHOCKED that there’s no SKID ROW on his list. He LOVED that band. Seriously…
you just can’t outclass woody… oh, except when he’s sleeping with his adopted daughter, I guess..
yeah the “from the director of match point” has always made me laugh to. how about “from the director or annie hall or manhattan?” or how about “from god.”
yeah that will do.
M. Night Shamalhamadingdong
Scarlett Johannsen is the most beautiful human being that has ever been alive. It’s just true.
I don’t get the whole Scarlett Johannsen thing.
Give me Kirsten Dunst anyday.
you can’t put one pearl jam song on a mixtape. Woody wins … as usual.