Hate to start Friday morning with the heavy questions … but can you believe how quickly Brit squandered every ounce of good will she accrued in the week after her divorce? Does it not awe you to think that, somehow, Kevin is coming out of the Fedivorce looking classy by comparison? Our heads hurt. Well, MTV has some Spears suggestions — a dozen, in fact, just like AA. Guess that makes thirteen. Anyway, go here for the list. Or, on the off chance you don’t feel like being yelled at by John Norris, read it below:
01. Don’t hang out with Paris Hilton
02. Don’t chew gum or smoke in public
03. Do ditch the dollar-store extensions
04. Do show off musical talent
05. Do update the website
06. Do get a publicist
07. Do wear designer clothes
08. Do consider a sleigh ride with Mr. Rudolph this Christmas
09. Do work with Pharrell and/or Timbaland
10. Do reach out to Max Martin
11. Don’t try to one-up Kevin
12. Do stay away from Las Vegas
Betcha can think of another “Public Don’t” for Brit. (Hint: vajayjay) If you’ve got some more “do”s and “don’t”s, feel free to lay ‘em on us. (Another hint: She’s hopeless.)
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Do keep the ol’ roast beef curtains closed.
Don’t yodel.
Stop using gas station restrooms.
Walking around barefoot is kind of tacky too, can you find some slippers or shoes perhaps?
Don’t start adopting children of other races.
Do at least make it look like she spends some time with her kids(thank god for the nanny).
don’t be photographed at LA clubs every single night.
don’t stay out until 6 am.
do be photographed in daylight with your kids.
Don’t hang out with Brandon Davis.
do dissapear for a few years and then make a reappearance on a vh1 celeb-reality show 87 pounds overweight.
and seriously – “do show off musical talent”??? the only talent she ever had was looking cute and those days are long gone.
do avoid having my friends email me pictures of your ninja boot.
Do pay attention to your kids.
Victoria Secret has some great undies……..wear them!
#4 — MUSICAL TALENT???? That’s never gonna happen because Brit has NONE. Certainly never has had any since she was on Star Search. She CANNOT sing anymore…her voice is a shambles, and it’s evident even with great production. (Case in point, you need to hear Cathy Dennis’ demo of “Toxic” to hear someone with a normally good voice sing that song..then hear Brit. She’s a wreck.) She’s relegated to showing her vagina and going out with other Hollywood whores.
If only that car crashed with Lindsey, Paris and Britney all inside….
DON’T SHAVE YOUR HEAD… it makes you look desperate…