Thing is, that’s both the setup and the punchline. Producer, plastic surgery victim, and Minnelli ex David Gest is slanted and enchanted by the lush-ous Amy Winehouse. But it’s what he wants to do to her upon introduction that’s particularly icky. Via the estimable Tittle-Tattle:

Liza Minnelli’s ex-husband, who is currently dating English soap actress Malandra Burrows, confesses he’s infatuated with the Rehab singer and loves her wild style.

He says, “I would kiss the mole on Amy Winehouse’s face and every tattoo on her body, and I’d stick my tongue in the gap where her tooth is missing.

“I love her.”

Creepy, desperate, denial — the choice of descriptor is yours. But they would make a damn cute couple!

david gest amy winehouse

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Comments (30)
  1. KingHater  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    (Quietly dumps rest of lunch in garbage)

  2. nick  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    tooth missing? where is she missing a tooth?

    http://www.fadedyouthblog.com/1993/tattooed-and-toothless/

    oh… there.

  3. anon  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  4. ka-tet  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    Good God, VH1’s pants just got very tight.

  5. sarah  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    i am so creeped out right now.

  6. having david gest get a plastic surgery scar-straining woody over you is probably the most effective intervention imaginable. you’ve shot past icon to punchline! abort!

  7. KingHater  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    (Fished lunch out of garbage, attempted bite, clicked on fadedyouthblog link, dumped lunch back in garbage.)

  8. Matthew  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    Why do I get the feeling that he might just be speaking her language?

  9. sommer  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    I need therapy after reading that comment.

  10. anon  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    Separated at birth?

  11. nick  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    KingHater is destroying this comment thread.

    kudos, friend.

  12. sven von sven  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    I like how you make a tag for david gest, as if his name will come up again, or better yet, someone will search for him.

  13. > I like how you make a tag for david gest, as
    > if his name will come up again, or better yet,
    > someone will search for him.

    Ha. You never know who he’ll verbally violate next!

  14. I totally posted about David Gest once before. When the Liza & David VH1 pilot ended up on MySpace or something. He’s nuts.

  15. Liam  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    Does everyone know what a “soursplash” is? It’s when you kind of throw up in your mouth a little bit, but it feels like a really strong burp.

    Just helping everyone describe the natural reaction to that piece. And the visual accompaniment just seals it.

  16. badgerpup  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    i thought that was the “barflex”?

    but sourspalsh works as well

  17. pearl  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    ew.

    i totally “soursplashed.”

  18. ka-tet  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    @ Liam

    I always thought it was called an ‘upchuck’.
    and yes, thats exactly what I did.

  19. It’s always been called a ‘virp’ where I come from. And I definitely just did it.

  20. They deserve each other.

  21. Not to be pedantic or anything, but that’s a ‘monroe’ piercing, not a mole.

    Anyway, Winehouse doesn’t sing like she looks, and Gest, uhh… doesn’t look like Mr. Potato Head without the hat, glasses or mustache. Not a bit.

  22. Oh my. Dinner just made an encore performance.

    DwD

  23. annie onymous  |   Posted on May 10th, 2007

    if theres not two people who deserve each other more…

    well, maybe pamela anderson and kid rock getting back together may rival this one, but thats neither here nor there…

    mole or piercing, either way its gross. i dont get why anyone would want that nasty ass piercing.

    and her singing is almost as scary as her looks. almost.

  24. I think I’ve seen his head in a “Wack a mole” machine!

  25. seiche  |   Posted on May 11th, 2007

    I have a very vivid imagination. And reading those quotes, while looking at those pictures….just…..I mean……it’s too early. I think my brain is starting to shut down a little bit out of self preservation.

  26. nick  |   Posted on May 11th, 2007

    im just excited for David Gest’s “Quit Your Day Job” interview.

  27. April  |   Posted on May 11th, 2007

    Perhaps he was referring to the mole on her butt face.

  28. micker  |   Posted on May 11th, 2007

    did anybody else’s gaydar go off?

  29. iburl  |   Posted on May 11th, 2007

    OK, this proves Winehouse is a trannie.

  30. Scott  |   Posted on May 12th, 2007

    Seriously. Can’t something be done about this guy? There should be some king of formal law which allows total censorship of this man.

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