It’s a crazy post-Stop Peter Bjorn & John world we’re living in. Got a problem with an indie rocker? Start a blog about it! Dave writes in to tell us about a slow-brewing blog beef between some dude who claims to have had his basketball stolen by Win Butler (find him at arcadefirestolemybasketball.blogspot.com), and Butler-brother Will, who claims that, in fact, Arcade Fire didn’t steal this dude’s basketball (and you can find him at arcadefiredidntstealdudesbasketball.blogspot.com).
Given this is all entirely unsubstantiated internet hearsay, we’d like to add this fact to the controversy: In the recent Rolling Stone (P. 67, para 2, Issue 1027 — Depp/Richards cover), Win told Gavin Edwards that “he tries to play basketball at least once a week, even on tour“! (Emphasis added for additional sensationalistic effect.)
Sounds like Win is totally guilty.
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Built to Spill crashed my tupperware party, knocked a glass of wine over onto the sofa and then wrote a 12-minute song about it.
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah tried to sing to my girlfriend.
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah tried to serenade my girlfriend.
Fiona Apple fingered my cat
black rebel motorcycle club is playing at my house…my house!!!
Murder City Devils emptied my bottles and broke my heart.
Arcade Fire stole my virginity.
But I left my wallet at their house so I can see them again. Suckers.
Brian Jonestown Massacre fuckin broke my sitar, motherfuckers.
Boards of Canada didn’t do anything to me.
That sucks.
Savin Hill teleported me to China.
Judas Priest drove my son to suicide.
Pete Doherty gave me AIDs.
CSS failed to yield the right of way to me as I crossed the street.
Emily Haines stole my vagina.
Sharon Osbourne hurt my feelings.
David Bowie stole my panda’s milk!!!
“Judas Priest drove my son to suicide.”
WELL PLAYED
David Bowie knocked over my bookcase.
Pitchforkmedia stole my pitchfork
Also, both the accusing and William War III have had their blogs taken down.
Google took down my blog.
Thom Yorke stared awkwardly at me
Sufjan Stevens exploited my bone cancer.
The Postal Service failed to deliver my mail.
Gerard Way stole my Rit Dye!
antony stole my vibratto!
Andrew Bird pooped on me!
Some white dude made a funny about a cool, edgy band doing the nasty with his fill-in-the-blank, which made me feel “in” — until some black dude played the race card and then I felt guilty.
morrissey rang around my fountain
apples in stereo “borrowed” my fruit bowl
neutral milk hotel flooded my hotel room with various forms of dairy
ben kweller is wearing my sundress
various indie bands did me wrong in one way or another
The title of that Smiths song is “Reel Around the Fountain,” dummy. And your other so-called quips aren’t funny, either.
Queens of the Stone Age stole my flintstones vitamins.
Sufjan Stevens ate up all of Pitchfork’s time.
Broken Social Scene caused the break up of my various emo bands.
Rufus Wainright sneezed on me.
Yo La Tengo got its name from baseball
arcadefirestolemybaseball.blogspot.com
Joanna Newsom stole a monkey and a bear from a zoo
Leslie Feist made my mush go boom
Sonic Youth fooled me into thinking they are young when they are actually quite old
J Mascis stole my safety scissors but he did not use them to cut his hair
Cat Power made me sneeze because I’m allergic
Hot Chip burnt my tongue
Minus the Bear would rather Joanna only steal a monkey
Pedro the Lion fooled me into thinking he was a lion when he is actually a human similar to Sonic Youth
Elliott Smith… sorry nothing is funny about a guy dying
Spoon helped me eat my cereal
TV on the Radio is just not possible
Patrick Wolf fooled me into thinking he was a wolf when he is actually a human very similar to Pedro the Lion
The New Pornographers called in sick and I had to work their closing shift.
the hold steady almost killed me.
Relatedly, who killed the Zutons?
The Who killed Bambi
This comment thread has jumped the shark
Colin Meloy failed to lock up my bicycle. Now it’s at the bottom of a French town pond, rudely abused on some Hessian’s joyride.
The Flaming Lips irritated by VD
as requested, the “sufjan stevens broke my hockey stick” t-shirt:
http://www.zazzle.com/johnsonl33/product/235150927162651986
Wilco told me a really offensive racist joke.
Devandra Banhart pissed in my pool.
Mike Bloomberg ruined my chances of becoming President.
Franklin Bruno ate all my cookie dough.
No, really: http://www.matadorrecords.com/escandalo/5/reviewsbands.html
jack white stole my tanning bed
…and oddly enough here is video evidence of said “Arcade Fire” with the Win Butler in question playing with a basketball! Filmed by Guerrilla Remote! http://www.youtube.com/user/guerrillaremote?feature=mhee#p/u/1/42Zr-8X1SUw
…and oddly enough here is a video of “Arcade Fire” and one Win Butler playing basketball, Filmed by Guerrilla Remote. http://www.youtube.com/user/guerrillaremote?feature=mhee#p/u/1/42Zr-8X1SUw