In honor of Independence Day, Stereogum presents a short play based on a true story…
June 27th, 2004. Santa Monica.
Kevin: “Yo girl, wanna see a movie tonight yo?”
Britney: “That sounds like fun! Like something a normal couple would do!”
Kevin: “Get me some Twizzizzlers? I only gots two dollars.”
Britney: “There’s Cheetos and Red Bull in my purse babe. We can share.”
Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes and should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.
Britney: “I’m gonna kill you! You said we were seeing Garfield!”
Kevin: “We’re still getting married right?”
Britney: “Of course baby! I couldn’t stay mad at you. Hey, wasn’t it sweet how Mr. Bush, you know, kept reading to the children even when he was obviously under a lot of stress? I love America.”
THE END.
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Take a look at the last pic of Kevin and tell me he doesn’t look a little like Richard Ramirez (aka The Night Stalker).
Mr. Stereogum, I hereby nominate you for a Tony for best original use of a still movie capture in a blog play. Genius.
are you on crack?
Less Brit-Brit, more cool music stuff.
the last photo makes him look like skeet ulrich. what the hell happened to him, anyway?
hella raw
That doesn’t look like Kev in the last pic, that looks like the guy who’ll play him in the TV Movie of the Week. With a fake goatee.
Brilliant, just brilliant!
Ok, I live in Santa Monica now, why the hell do I keep missing Brit Brit? First her mother runs people down, now she’s seeing movies that I intend to see at places I intend to see them. UGH!
Kevin’s HS yearbook photo: http://www.fresnofamous.com/blog/2004/07/voted-most-likely-to-end-up-in-prison.html
kev doesn’t look to good in that last pic, yo.
brilliant
your kevin quotes, here and in pervious entries, are absolutely amazing
HILARIOUS!! her acne is terrible.
Brit, Acutane. Acutane, Brit.
Come on…she’s gotta have a good derm, right? WTF?!
kevin has a lazy eye
has britney quit kaballah?
it seems like she stopped wearing the bracelet since she met kev…
stereogum, will you be my baby’s daddy? you= amazing hehe
as for brit n’ kev, in the people mag w/ their ‘interview’ brit says he can cook everything-mac n’ cheese, fried chicken.
a TPT match made in heaven!
who the f would want to be fed mac n’ cheese & fried chicken on a daily basis
also what a dumb bitch. we live in a democracy where we’re allowed to question our leaders. way more good things have happened b/c of people challenging the system & pushing for change…
get a hairbrush, too!
yeah, i screamed “dumb whore” when she came on the screen during F 9/11. Man, where did public schools in America go wrong?
Oh, but I forgot, I bet Britney was HOME-SCHOOLED by the genius mother who ran over the paparazzo…
yikes.
did brit ever graduate from high school?
holy shit
it would be nice if people would be so vocal and educatedly opinioned (impurdysureimadethosewerdsup, “yo”)
about something other than fucking B-job.
yo
Britney…
his hat is so perfectly cocked to the side…it gives him instant street cred
Oh god-that is *FUNNY*!
hahaha.
she looks 50 in the first pic… i liked brit when she looked good… she looks dirty now… damn, she is sooo nasty now.
wait, what DID they see? please, say it wasn’t garfield.
she’s wasting time on a cheap ugly gangsta boyfriend
she goes better with a prep not a gangsta showing his underwears….nasty!
cheappppppppppppppppppppppppp
i’m happy for you britney you will be a great mum
i love you i wish i can see you you will have to email me so i can send you some emails love louuise cope
Her underwear has skid marks. Britany hardly wipes anymore. It’s disgusting. She sleeps in whatever she wears the next day and only cares where her smokes are located. Her breath smells like chain smoking maggots. I put out the douche for her without success.
HA! HA!
I’m using Photoshop: