Last month Details landed an interview with Mr. Britney Spears himself, Kevin Federline. About 15 minutes in, Britney “who had finished a workout a bit early” decided to join in. The issue is on newsstands now. What follows are the bites most worthy of your derision.
ON THEIR FIRST MEETING
Kevin: A bunch of us [LFO background dancers] went out one time in a big group. That was when she was starting to get big. She was, like, what, 18? … Shit, a few years down the road, and a couple tours later, I wound up meeting her ass again, and here we are.
Details: You didn’t find her a little hot?
Kevin: No, I wasn’t even really in that mind frame. I just got out of a long relationship, and I felt free for the first time. I was making money — legally. I was doing my part, you know, supporting my ass.ON K-FED’S SON
Kevin: I have a baby son named Kaleb. [Believe it or not, his full name is Kaleb Michael Jackson Federline.] He’s about 6 months old now. And he’s getting fat, too. Kori was a fat baby too. Man she was just big. She looked like she was gonna be a damn football player.ON KEVIN HANDLING THE PRESS
Britney: Nothing gets to him … Not my man. And that’s why I married him, because he’s not a shallow motherfucker Hollywood actor-guy.
Kevin: Yeah, baby!
Britney: I’ve met grown men in this business that are a lot older than Kevin and they think I’m this dumb blonde, because I’m quote-Britney Spears-unquote. Men in Hollywood are just — oh, my God, it’s horrible. Babe, am I talking too much?
Kevin: Yeah, go away. [He laughs and hugs her.]
Britney: Is it okay if I stay? I miss you when I’m not with you.
Kevin: I don’t care.
Details: I certainly don’t mind. Unless, of course, you have some reason not to trust the press.
Britney: Ha, ha. I need to create my own magazine. People are just way too obsessed with celebrity. Look at Us Weekly. I think the same guy who does Rolling Stone does Us Weekly. He’s this big old fat man.ON BRITNEY’S BENJAMINS
Details: People think Kevin is with you for your money.
Kevin: Oh, yeah.
Britney: Well, time will tell, motherchuckers…
Kevin: What you hear about in all those bullshit-ass magazines is bullshit.ON HAVING KIDS
Britney: When I have kids — I think Celine Dion, the way she does it, with her show in Vegas, is the way to go. Everybody comes to her. When I have kids, I’m so there. That’s what I’m doing: “Come to me, motherfuckers.”
Vegas, Britney? But that would be … cheesy. Also in the interview Kevin reveals plans for a fashion label called Pair A Dice. If you care about that bullshit, pick up the bullshit-ass magazine, motherchuckers!
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Wow. I knew his ass was well read. His ass has a way with words.
Oh, Lord. Tell me you added all those “motherfuckers”.
At what point will heads explode? If this doesn’t do it, I don’t know how much further I can go.
Did she REALLY say that? If so, they sound like a great match.
Those pictures scare me.
fuck, motherfuckers… i have a baby… come to me fuckfaces! Nice…
Did you guys see this…
http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/entnews/ap/20050212/110826234000.html
KFed is getting into clothing… KFed wifebeaters and cargo pants!
Shit, a few years back i thuoght her ass had it made. A couple of tours later, she’s as low as one can go
Dude, this was posted about 10 days ago in USA TODAY.
motherfuckers, that was fucking the best interview ever. I mean he is one sexy motherfucker. How was he able to sit for an interview, what with his 12 inch chicken getting in the way.
Kevin seems like a laid back, mellow sort of chap.
The USA article didn’t include any of these quotes!! these excerps are so much better
simply stunning
Holy motherchuckers! I shouldn’t be surprised how dumb he is, but I am. That is some serious-ass dumb.
so…out of a long-term relationship, not interested in young Britney. in a long-term, two-child relationship, free to date rich Britney. he’s complex!
I think I saw this episode of COPS. Except Kevin was getting arrested and Britney (barefoot) was trying save “her man”.
I think I saw this episode of COPS. Except Kevin was getting arrested and Britney (barefoot) was trying save “her man”.
OK. My friend at Details promised me they had to airbrush out the Federline’s beer gut for the full-body pics. And that’s no bullshit-ass bullshit.
MOTHERCHUCKERS!
I think this proves that these two are hyper-intelligent and simply screwing around with the public’s perception of them as a white trash couple.
I mean, that’s the only reasonable explanation, right? People can’t actually sound that trashy in reality…right?
*speechless*
“yea, motherfuckers… I’mma pop out babies left and right — Then ya’ll can come to me. Help me support my Red bull-chugging, Cheeto-scrafing, Malboro-sucking, Madonna-necking ass… UH! B-Spizzle OUT”
Actually Stereogum, I think the name of the clothing label is “A Pair A Dice.” Whatever that means…
Why, I am amazed at Young Kevin’s level of scholarship! Harvard should be knocking at his door this very minute!
Umm- someone needs to call Britney ASAP and clue her in to the one little bit of information she’s missing. Celine Dion can sing. Love her or hate her- girlfriend can carry a tune. Britney, not so much.
The Clothing co “A Pair A Dice” is probably referencing the love-birds matching dice tattoos. Hers is Pink, his is blue. BARF!
Both Kevin & Britney are real pathetic. Distasteful…
Both Kevin & Britney are real pathetic. Distasteful…
So his son’s nickname is Kaleb but his REAL name is Kabel? Isn’t Kabel Italian slang for “child born to D-List sitcom actress and trailer trash dad with a bimbo Vegas househo”? Someone told me it was
i love how k.fed’s response to the details question about being a gold-digger is a simple “oh, yeah” lol as if he forgot!
yeah, and real nice way to ingratiate yourself to your fans–by calling them “motherfuckers”
disturbing things in these excerpts:
– the middle name for Kevin’s son is Michael Jackson
– Kevin was once a back-up dancer for LFO [how desperate do you have to be to dance with LFO?]
– Motherchuckers? I think the correct use of that word in a sentence would be “Ick…Kevin’s skanky ass makes me want to motherchuckers.”
“I think the same guy who does Rolling Stone does Us Weekly. He’s this big old fat man.”
Do you think Jann Wenner now regrets tormenting me with endless covers of Britney on Rolling Stone?
I hope he does.
It’s nice to see that someone so gung-ho about becoming a mommy is trying to clean up her language, motherfuckers. Think of the children, won’t someone think of the children??!?!?!
….. or at least Bit Bit?
I couldnt read past the 3rd question.. urge to “motherfucking” vomit was too great.
Paradise is a pair of dice.
Wow. Kevvie’s vernacular makes George Plimpton sound like Helen Keller.
She just keeps going downhill faster and faster…with Kevin pushing her at top speed and holding her signed assets in his hand.
Just curiously- does anyone know how did he make the money illegally before?
Does anybody remember when Britney’s mic was accidentally turned on backstage at the Rock in Rio festival (I think that’s what it was called)? This was about 4 years ago. It was a “scandal” because she let off this endless stream of obscenities. But now… I guess there’s no disguising that that’s just who she is.
Excellent metaphor, JT.
Fascinating. Britney Spears is a genuine entertainer.
Monster, early word was that K-Fed was Britney’s drug dealer.
wait, the guy who makes Rolling Stone *isn’t* the guy in charge of US Weakly?
anyone whoever has eaten cheetos or smoked cigs in thi sphere please hit your space bar!
Yeah, I like that ‘illegally’ peppered in there…hehheh. What was he doing illegally?
Those two are truly disgusting. In fact, reading that article made me motherchuck all over my keyboard. If only they could just shut up and drift into obscurity forever… Hey, I can dream, can’t I?
Why those 2 have to act so low? They can’t even make a sentence without adding some cursing word….I pity their future kids, I mean, what kind of messed up education will they receive? They will be hooked on Red-Bull, junk -food, cigarettes, pills and weed way before they reach age two. Plus the first word they will be able to spell will probably be something tasteful like mother#$%&.
Britney needs to clean up her act before she even thinks about bringing up children cuz a scrub/escort dad + a crazy/depressed mum is the worst genetic match ever. Those babies would be on Zoloft for life.
kev looks brit
WOW! Simply stunning. All K-Fed does for me is give me hope that one day I too may marry a hot popstar, but then ultimately she will go insane.
Anybody remember this exchange from Scary Movie about the Shannon Elizabeth character:
BRANDY
I don’t know why you hang out with
her. She’s such a ho.
CINDY
Why do you say that?
BRANDY
Cause I’ve seen her. My friend Sean had
a pool party this summer.
CINDY
Sean?
BRANDY
You know, Puff Daddy.
BRANDY (CONT’D)
Anyways, everybody was drinking Crystal
champagne. Then it started to get wild,
people was getting freaky in the pool and
stuff. I looked over and there was your
girl getting buck wild in the Jacuzzi.
CINDY
So?
BRANDY
With a backup dancer! That’s lower than
a security guard! At least security can
get you backstage.
Wrap your minds around this: Maybe Britney is some kind of Cyborg that refuels solely on Red Bull, Cheetos, cigarettes and puppy shit. Communication with the Mother Ship is only possible in public washrooms, with bare soles planted firmly on the piss covered linoleum. (The multiple urine samples act as a data transmitter.) She and her kin are aiming for World domination by first gaining international exposure – and then detrimentally lowering society’s intelligence level and rendering us dangerously submissive to ‘overpowerment’. Clearly, her breasts succesfully accomplished phase one. She’s now on to finalising their mission by polluting our minds and desensitizing us with terrible poetry, dialect & vocabulary – disgusting displays of hygiene – public nudity – severe lack of moral, common and fashion sense – (……………)
*it all makes sense..
no shes not as low as anyone could go 60 million records sold a grammy for toxic 2 diamond album in the USA one of the few acts who could actually headline arena tour this summer before she busted her knees.
sam – you sound like a fan of this trashtastic pop slut…. Tell me, how do you feel about being referred to as a quote-motherfucker-unquote?
Look, Britney learned a new swear word.
Kevin is vile, but it is not like she comes from this kingdom of class and culture. Of all the guys she could have hooked up with, k-fed was probably the lowest, least classy and most like the guys she was used to in her home town.
As for the “motherchuckers,” she was probably saying motherfuckers, but she had a cheeto in her mouth and it came out like motherchuckers.
they both remind of that smell that you smell when passing through a bad neighborhood..the ones with the clogged up drains and possibly a dead body down there. Ugh! they both just LOOK like they smell!!!
Well! Talk about a class act.
I’m glad to see the education system is doing so well, too…
Yeah, the few lame motherfuckers who still are tasteless enough to be fans will come to her all right, but it will be in Branson and not in Vegas. They’ll confiscate the binoculars at the door so they can’t see her stretch marks from popping out Cletus and Brandine, Jr.
She is more tasteless than Anna Nicole Smith. She fucked Fred Durst for petes sake.
No, Brit’s first daughter’s name is going to be Crystal (the ultimate white trash name.) “Crystal Cheeto Federspears”
“Crystal Cheeto Federspears” has a nice ring to it, dont y’all think?
oh my god. your last sentence on this post is priceless.
How absolutely pathetic. At first, I thought he was the lower of the two – now I know they are equals for sure. To know that she refers to all her fans as “motherfuckers” is so endearing. Oh how I wish every fan of hers read this article. She’d be flat on her ass in no time! Wonder what she’d think of all the little “motherfuckers” then!
I remember once someone in here commented on what an awful relationship the two of them must have, mainly because it seems like he just doesn’t give a shit about her. She’s throwing herself at him (whether if it’s to boost the magazine sales or “improve” his image or what have you), and he simply says “I don’t care.”
That really bothers me. Of course, you know, aside from the fact that the word “motherchuckers” actually exists now.
I think Kevin was just the only guy with the audacity to act like SHE doesn’t deserve HIM. I’m sure every other guy Britney’s met acts like she’s a goddess, so no wonder she’s fascinated by this guy who doesn’t care much about her, and who doesn’t think of her as all that hot or great. I think Kevin’s just what Britney needs right now– someone who treats her like a regular person. I’m a fan of hers, and I don’t think her comments will stop people from being fans. It’s not that I agree with everything she does, but it’s nice to see that someone like Britney can make big mistakes and go for loser guys just like I do. Fans can relate to her.
Delicious. Makes me wanna shop at Walmart. But not.
I have to agree with dnicolep. While the entire interview was repugnant, the part that bothered me the most was his “I don’t care” because I truly believe he doesn’t. This whole thing just rings of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston, Part II. She is just in it to prove people wrong and he is just in it for the ride. Sad. It makes me sick they are so pathetic and so rich. They don’t even do anything with their money. They could at least buy Frito-Lay and who ever makes Red Bull, hell, the trashtastic twosome is keeping all the executives in Brooks Brothers anyway with their massive consumption of crap.
I am so embarrassed to say this douchebag went to my high school….WOW
See, Justin! I don’t love you anymore! Not even a weeny little bit-bit!
God, she’s a classic.
< < I am so embarrassed to say this douchebag went to my high school....WOW >>
uhhhhmmm, apparently, no, you really aren’t.
hahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahah!
I think KevFed coudln’t be a dancer anymore if he wanted to. In those honeymoon pictures he has this little titty dangling out when he was his arm around Britney. It looks hilariously small- like a 12 year old girl.
” I think Kevin’s just what Britney needs right now– someone who treats her like a regular person. ”
He treats her like crap, not a regular person.
Mr. Spears names his kid after Jacko…wow!!!!!!! I’m sure Ted Nugent will be needing some backup dancers for the summer tour
I think she married him because he’s a guaranteed lay.
That, and he’s after her money and ass. Until she swells up with child. Then he’ll leave her, just like he did the mama of his other two spawn.
What a dumb asshole. There just aren’t enough words to describe how despicable he really is.
I think she married him because he’s a guaranteed lay.
That, and he’s after her money and ass. Until she swells up with child. Then he’ll leave her, just like he did the mama of his other two spawn.
What a dumb asshole. There just aren’t enough words to describe how despicable he really is.
They fine them Spears’s. They were all up on dat details motherfucker like a jimmy hat. Shit, how they ass’s get so classy? Motherfuckers gots to be sending some o’ them money my way. Shit, motherfuckers.
How come no one is stating the obvious? Mr. Spears looks like a big mo in these pictures. No straight man really looks like that! Maybe this wifebeater/cargo/skater-shoed/trucker hat wearing facade is devised solely for the purpose of covering his mo-ness. He is a back up dancer after all…
“” I think Kevin’s just what Britney needs right now– someone who treats her like a regular person. ”
He treats her like crap, not a regular person.”
I think that’s what Britney wants, actually. Instead of a guy being a teenybopper toward her, she wants to be a teenybopper toward a guy.
Oh, and it’s good that respecting your fans isn’t a big deal anymore, motherfuckers. Keep lookin like you do and maybe they won’t come to you. Ever thought of that? P.S. karma is a bitch. I hope your baby turns out to be a shallow motherfucker Hollywood actor-guy…
any news about the lawsuits? I don’t forsee her winning that settlement…
“…and they think I’m this dumb blonde, because I’m quote-Britney Spears-unquote.” Wait! Hold up! I’m confused. You ARE a dumb blonde, right?! What’s goin’ on? Are you pulling my leg, spears?!
Please, please tell me that this is a spoof. Knowing that two people as idiotic and vile as this transcript suggests are married and have the potential to create spawn would just be too much for me to bear.
you bitches are just jealous. who wouldn’t want to be that dumb and still get to fuck a hot bitch who’s super rich and likes to give you blowjobs when you’re chilling in the balcony of your penthouse suite even though it’s really gross that she goes into public bathrooms at the beach barefoot but that’s a small price to pay and quite easy to ignore.
you bitches are just jealous. who wouldn’t want to be that dumb and still get to fuck a hot bitch who’s super rich and likes to give you blowjobs when you’re chilling in the balcony of your penthouse suite even though it’s really gross that she goes into public bathrooms at the beach barefoot but that’s a small price to pay and quite easy to ignore.
Ugh! I’m a huge Britney fan and think she is a great person but if this is real its pretty repulsive, who actually aspires to be seen as trash? 3 years ago u would have never thought Britney could say anything like that, these days she is as bad as Courtney Love. They are like a real life version of those hillbillys on the Simsons, Cletus and his wife, eeek!
Awww….isn’t it sweet that two kindred souls can find each other in this motherchuckin’ world.
*sniff* Makes me all verklempt.
I really think that Kevin sticks with Britney for the karr-cchhing!!
Brintey just needs to find her balance. Somewhere is a perfect person that can relate to her fans AND not sicken/ insult them, right between “Ooh I <3 being a virgin” and a wedding night served with chicken fingers.
Uh, this site is cool and all…but why do you continually muck it up with all the posts about Britney spears? I’d say all the Britney subjects downgrade the rating (which could be A+) to a low D.
Remember the good old days, when publicists were paid to keep stuff like this OUT of magazines…?
Come to me, motherfuckers???
Uh…no.
Seriously, when she does begin headlining in Vegas, let’s all bring this up again so the press can revisit it. Shall we sign a pact?
i can’t stop reading it! it’s so good, on so many levels. stereogum, i’m a music-dummy, and i’ve learned a little bit about good music on your site. but i’m going to be honest with you, i live for the britney posts!!
This is like watching a tran wreck. You can’t help but pay attention. I never realized how white trash she is. Love it!!!
I think Britney is just trying to be controversial. She wants all the attention she can get and I think her favorite word is motherfucker. If she likes to say that so much, she should title her next song as “Bit Old Fat Motherfucker.”
Oh gawd, ya’ll, I broke my rib last week and I think I just recracked it reading these posts. Too funny. Littl Crystal Cheetoes Federline, walking barefoot into the bathroom at the Quik Mart.
Dear God: Please let Britney be sterile. There is no reason why she should be allowed to unleash her ignorant, potty-mouthed, cheeto-eatin’ spawn on the world. I promise to be really, really good forever if you will just answer my prayers. Amen.
I am so smart, and you are all assh0les. We are in LOVE and even if I didnt have ANY money, we would still be in love.
PS- we DO have a baby- its in the picture at the top. He just looks a little funny because of the genetic abnormality the doctor said I got from marrying my brother.
SO My friend brings me the Details magazine, and I read it today.
Has anyone seen those horrible pictures of Kevin??? He looks like SUCH a tard. I hope he’s not planning on modeling in his future.
Also, judging from the whole article, when you read it, it sounds like they were both on speed or something. Brit is “mutherfucking” this and “mutherfucing” that, Every other word out of Kev’s moth is “shit”, and (as if that wasn’t enough to gag a goose) he says that he loves her because she is the only one who was ever proud of him “for doing nothing”. To paraphrase, “I could do nothing but sit around playing videogames, and she would be proud of me.”
They’re both losers. The only good thing is that now that she is free of her handlers, she is free to run wild, opening her mouth and letting all kinds of ignorant crap pour out of it. They are both yahoos. Someone called them the next Whitney and Bobby. So true.
So last week Access Hollywood or some other show that showcases horrible dreck aired a “personal ichat” with KevFed and Britney butted in during that interview as well and ended up answering questions for him. I find that hilarious.
Stereogum’s Britney posts constantly validate that I am superior to most of hollywood, so cheers for that!
He’s a little hot, actually
I thought I was going to pee reading some of the names you gave britney’s child if she had one. Lets pray not.Look like that kabbalah has really mellowed her out like it did madonna.