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August 15, 2009

Bob Dylan Mistaken For Vagrant In a rainstorm before a NJ gig, the legend wandered into the yard of a home for sale. A young cop questioned the suspicious man before putting him in her car: "I wasn't sure if he came from one of our hospitals." Read more here, then rewrite our headline with a Dylan lyric.

Posted at 10:22 AM
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72 Comments

Dylan in Jersey: Like A Complete Unknown

Posted by: John at 08/15/09 10:55 AM  | Reply
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Because the cops don't need you and man they expect the same.

Posted by: dylan at 08/15/09 11:04 AM  | Reply
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Barack should invite them to a beer summit to work it out.

Posted by: Frank  in reply to dylan's comment at 08/16/09 7:27 PM  | Reply
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Ok, how 'bout this one from Ballad Of A Thin Man:

"...And you say, "What's mine?"
And somebody else says, "Where what is?"
And you say, "Oh my God
Am I here all alone?"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Zimmerman?..."

No but really, this would only happen in America and only to the biggest living legend on earth. This story is one Officer Buble can tell her grandchildren one day. I'm sure somebody somewhere is working on writing a song about this right now.

Posted by: SubSickAlien profile link at 08/15/09 11:05 AM  | Reply
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Bob Dylan: It Ain't me Your Looking for Babe!

Posted by: GKVibe at 08/15/09 11:13 AM  | Reply
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Don't wanna be a bum? You better chew gum.

Posted by: bandofrogues profile link at 08/15/09 11:18 AM  | Reply
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His clothes are dirty but his hands are clean: Dylan mistaken for escaped mental patient.

Posted by: yosh at 08/15/09 11:40 AM  | Reply
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Dylan Mistaken for Lonesome Hobo

Posted by: tom at 08/15/09 12:51 PM  | Reply
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when you look like you got nothing, you look like you got nothin' to lose.

Posted by: astro profile link at 08/15/09 12:55 PM  | Reply
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...takes genius to have a sucessful third act...

Posted by: highlands at 08/15/09 1:10 PM  | Reply
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here comes the story of the hurricane, the man the authorities came to blame

Posted by: la la landon profile link at 08/15/09 1:11 PM  | Reply
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Napoleon in rags seen wandering vacant property

Posted by: Hit the Switch profile link at 08/15/09 1:20 PM  | Reply
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only a hobo, on a new jersey lawn
leavin' nobody to sing his sad song
leavin' nobody to carry him home
only a hobo, on a new jersey lawn

Posted by: michael at 08/15/09 1:31 PM  | Reply
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it aint me babe has my vote

Posted by: john at 08/15/09 1:38 PM  | Reply
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Oh! Oh! I got one! How about...

"Ballad in Plain D"

Eh?

Posted by: Simba at 08/15/09 1:58 PM  | Reply
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the sun in Ireland went with "cops treat bob like a complete unkown".

I would have gone with "Cops who arrest Bob Dylan didn't think twice, but it's alright" or "Bob tells cops I Shall Be Released"

Posted by: amawaster profile link at 08/15/09 2:19 PM  | Reply
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he needed shelter from the storm from the buckets of rain and idiot wind!

Posted by: kevin at 08/15/09 2:23 PM  | Reply
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I Don't Believe You (He Acts Like We Never Have Met)

Posted by: Gabe Greene at 08/15/09 2:29 PM  | Reply
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Every time you leave and go off someplace
Things fall to pieces in my face (Everything is Broken)

Posted by: morrey at 08/15/09 3:13 PM  | Reply
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An' he just smoked my eyelids
An' punched my cigarette

Posted by: Cory at 08/15/09 3:46 PM  | Reply
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Like a Complete Unknown

Posted by: huckabee at 08/15/09 4:35 PM  | Reply
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People still listen to this old hipster dirtbag?

Posted by: bobcrapylan at 08/15/09 4:55 PM  | Reply
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sorry...you dumb

Posted by: hmmmm  in reply to bobcrapylan's comment at 08/15/09 6:26 PM  | Reply
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God you are so stupid. so stupid, you sad, poor, fool.

Posted by: ilaugh  in reply to bobcrapylan's comment at 08/17/09 2:29 AM  | Reply
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Soon or a later one of us must know,
That you just did what you're supposed to do,
Soon or later one of us must know,
That I really am Bob Dylan

Posted by: Johanna at 08/15/09 5:00 PM  | Reply
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"Momma's in the factory she ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he is looking for food.."

Posted by: fox Confessor at 08/15/09 6:17 PM  | Reply
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Bob Dylan: A Creature Void Of Form?

You Ask Why I Don't Live Here,
Honey, Do You Have To Ask?

The Vagabond Who's Rapping At Your Door In Jersey Could Be Bob Dylan

Don't Think Twice, It's All Right

Posted by: MisterCox at 08/15/09 6:48 PM  | Reply
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Well, the clear winner is "LIKE A COMPLETE UNKNOWN..." but here are a couple more:

STUCK INSIDE OF LONG BRANCH WITH THE JERSEY BLUES AGAIN
[plz recall that "blues" is slang for "cops"]

IT AIN'T YOU, BOB

THE TIMES THEY HAVE A-CHANGED

Posted by: zxcvb at 08/15/09 7:08 PM  | Reply
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And if you hear vague traces of skippin' reels of rhyme to your tambourine in time, it's just a ragged clown behind, Report immediately.

Posted by: Ford at 08/15/09 7:22 PM  | Reply
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Once upon a time i looked just fine
now you thought I'm a bum doing a crime
didn't you?
people called said "hey there law
someone's in my front lawn
get him gone
it's a jew!"
you used to see me on
tv and the cover of the rolling stone
but now i'm in the back of a police car
now I'm going way too far
in the opposite direction of the venue

Posted by: IndieClox profile link at 08/15/09 9:28 PM  | Reply
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I love bob dylan by the way

Posted by: IndieClox profile link at 08/15/09 9:34 PM  | Reply
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"It IS Me, Babe"

Posted by: Stephen B profile link at 08/15/09 9:37 PM  | Reply
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stuck inside of jersey with the mentalist blues again

Posted by: bob at 08/15/09 9:38 PM  | Reply
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Subterranean Homesale Blues

Posted by: Adoplaydo at 08/15/09 11:09 PM  | Reply
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Tangled Up In Blue

Posted by: St. Nico profile link at 08/16/09 12:00 AM  | Reply
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simply wow.

Posted by: oliviakate. at 08/16/09 8:56 AM  | Reply
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Tangled Up in Blue: Bob Dylan can't walk anytime around the block

Posted by: The Ricards at 08/16/09 9:58 AM  | Reply
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handcuffed and anonymous

Posted by: Rob Dillon at 08/16/09 11:43 AM  | Reply
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"Slow Cop-Car Coming."

Posted by: GuitarHero at 08/16/09 11:52 AM  | Reply
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I saw Bob Dylan 2 years ago, and I'm still not convinced he wasn't a homeless vagrant claiming to be Bob Dylan.

Posted by: Ken at 08/16/09 12:45 PM  | Reply
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love that Dylan just wanders around local neighborhoods when he has nothing to before shows, hes still the same old wandering folkie weirdo and I love him for that

Posted by: Neil Young at 08/16/09 3:17 PM  | Reply
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Hard to top "Like a complete unknown." Two possibilities from Bob Dylan's 115th dream:

They asked me my name and I said Captain Kidd. They believed me but they wanted to know what exactly that I did.
Or
New Jersey: Where people carry signs around saying ban the bums.

Posted by: Eamon Bandini at 08/16/09 3:21 PM  | Reply
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positively not on my street

Posted by: Fleisch at 08/16/09 3:30 PM  | Reply
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'I'll Remember You' Claims Cop after Dylan's Foiled 'Drifter's Escape'

Posted by: Rachel at 08/16/09 3:50 PM  | Reply
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''Come in," she said, "I'll give ya shelter from the storm."

Posted by: kingdom at 08/16/09 4:45 PM  | Reply
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and he looked, "Just like a vagrant"

Posted by: gutfeeling at 08/16/09 8:11 PM  | Reply
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or...Knock,knock knocking on a strangers door...or...

hey mr two raincoat man,get away from me....

Posted by: gutfeeling at 08/16/09 8:33 PM  | Reply
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i am not a lonesome hobo

Posted by: DEADITE SMEGMA profile link at 08/16/09 11:44 PM  | Reply
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sad eyed lady of the meadowlands, with the sad eyed prophecy that no man's come.

Posted by: ari gold at 08/17/09 4:26 AM  | Reply
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"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel your listing price is but a joke."

Posted by: bob at 08/17/09 10:07 AM  | Reply
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I'm really surprised no one went with this "Hurricane" lyric:

Bewildered Homeowners call the cops with their red lights flashin in the hot New Jersey night


Fine if it's not that cool, but c'mon it's the only song where explicitly mentions New Jersey law enforcement officials.

Posted by: Matt D at 08/17/09 10:45 AM  | Reply
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Or even better--

If you're Bob Dylan you better not show up on the street 'les you wanna draw the heat

Posted by: matty d at 08/17/09 10:47 AM  | Reply
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There's an extended riff on this over at rightreading.com.

Posted by: tomas at 08/17/09 10:50 AM  | Reply
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I said Oh no no, I'm a Dr and it's true,
I'm a clean cut kid, and I been to ccollege too"

Posted by: Tom Kinney at 08/17/09 10:55 AM  | Reply
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"When you're lost in the rain in New Jersey and it's Eastertime too,
And your gravity fails and negativity don't see you through"
Don't put on a hoodie when your stumbling down the avenue,
They got some young and hungry women and they'll really make a mess out a you"

Posted by: Tom Kinney at 08/17/09 11:07 AM  | Reply
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"ban the bums"

Posted by: jeffgank at 08/17/09 1:06 PM  | Reply
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He was just checking out the neighborhood house's pumps, but the vandals stole the handles. No you guys already had the best one, "like a complete unknown."

Posted by: caseymckinney@gmail.com at 08/17/09 5:16 PM  | Reply
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how many roads must a man walk down Blowing in the Wind

Posted by: angie at 08/17/09 5:22 PM  | Reply
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"Nobody's Ever Taught You How to Live Out on the Street and Now You're Going to Have to Get Used to It."

Posted by: KC440 at 08/17/09 5:27 PM  | Reply
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He got caught trying to vandalize and steal handles...no, someone already got the obvious headline - "Like a Complete Unknown"

Posted by: caseyfanzine profile link at 08/17/09 5:29 PM  | Reply
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It's All Over Now, Vagrant Blue

Posted by: Turtle at 08/17/09 6:23 PM  | Reply
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If you're black you might as well not show up on the street, unless you wanna draw the heat!

Posted by: h. rex at 08/17/09 7:40 PM  | Reply
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times ain't changin'. never have, never will...the only blunder in dylan's forcast.

Posted by: ray at 08/17/09 8:21 PM  | Reply
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Go melt back in the night -everything is made of stone.. theres someone in here moving- and anyway i've got a HOME!!

Posted by: ryno at 08/17/09 8:55 PM  | Reply
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we are on the eve of destruction

Posted by: ron mckinney at 08/17/09 10:49 PM  | Reply
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As I walked out in the mystic garden
On a hot summer day, a hot summer lawn
Excuse me, ma'am, I beg your pardon
There's no one here, the gardener is gone

Posted by: mitchell at 08/17/09 11:26 PM  | Reply
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there are a lot of funny ones on here. really enjoyed it. so here's my attempt, be kind...

"Somebody seen him hanging around
At the 'for sale house' on the outskirts of town,
He looked into her eyes when she stopped to ask
If he wanted 'a ride', he had a face like a mask.
Somebody said from 'dispatch' he'd quote
There was dust on the man
In the 'double rain' coat"

—man in the long black coat (kinda)

Posted by: clockistotime profile link at 08/18/09 1:57 AM  | Reply
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To Live Outside the Law You Must Be Honest

Posted by: FeelLikeAStranger at 08/18/09 10:38 PM  | Reply
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Be careful Neil, remember to carry I.D.

Posted by: Jayne at 08/19/09 1:14 PM  | Reply
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Dylan was down in Oxford Town Blowin' in the Wind while a Hard Rain was-a fallin' and the Girl From the North Country told him he was under arrest. He thought it was just Bob Dylan's Dream, but she didn't think twice and told him it was alright. He said Honey Just Allow Me One More Chance and said I Shall Be Free. She asked him for some collaterel and he just pulled down his pants.

Posted by: Dob Billin at 08/26/09 12:09 AM  | Reply
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Someone's got it in for me, they're planting stories in the press

Posted by: CaptainCondo at 08/29/09 11:52 AM  | Reply
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"That mean old judge he said to me, "That's ninety days for vagrancy""

Hard Travellin'
WBAI Radio - "Folksinger's Choice with Cynthia Gooding"
February 1962

Posted by: Ritchie at 09/04/09 9:59 AM  | Reply
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