July 2, 2004

Britney And Kevin Go To The Movies

In honor of Independence Day, Stereogum presents a short play based on a true story...

June 27th, 2004. Santa Monica.

Kevin: "Yo girl, wanna see a movie tonight yo?"
Britney: "That sounds like fun! Like something a normal couple would do!"

Kevin: "Get me some Twizzizzlers? I only gots two dollars."
Britney: "There's Cheetos and Red Bull in my purse babe. We can share."

Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes and should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.

Britney: "I'm gonna kill you! You said we were seeing Garfield!"

Kevin: "We're still getting married right?"
Britney: "Of course baby! I couldn't stay mad at you. Hey, wasn't it sweet how Mr. Bush, you know, kept reading to the children even when he was obviously under a lot of stress? I love America."

THE END.

Posted at 9:04 AM

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32 Comments

Take a look at the last pic of Kevin and tell me he doesn't look a little like Richard Ramirez (aka The Night Stalker).

Posted by: Magnificent Bastard at 07/02/04 10:59 AM | Reply
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Mr. Stereogum, I hereby nominate you for a Tony for best original use of a still movie capture in a blog play. Genius.

Posted by: carla at 07/02/04 11:02 AM | Reply
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are you on crack?

Posted by: marji at 07/02/04 11:04 AM | Reply
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Less Brit-Brit, more cool music stuff.

Posted by: Martey at 07/02/04 11:09 AM | Reply
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the last photo makes him look like skeet ulrich. what the hell happened to him, anyway?

Posted by: tamara at 07/02/04 11:32 AM | Reply
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hella raw

Posted by: kevin at 07/02/04 11:38 AM | Reply
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That doesn't look like Kev in the last pic, that looks like the guy who'll play him in the TV Movie of the Week. With a fake goatee.

Posted by: Jazzy at 07/02/04 11:46 AM | Reply
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Brilliant, just brilliant!

Posted by: Steen at 07/02/04 11:49 AM | Reply
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Ok, I live in Santa Monica now, why the hell do I keep missing Brit Brit? First her mother runs people down, now she's seeing movies that I intend to see at places I intend to see them. UGH!

Posted by: Jennifer at 07/02/04 12:44 PM | Reply
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Kevin's HS yearbook photo: http://www.fresnofamous.com/blog/2004/07/voted-most-likely-to-end-up-in-prison.html

Posted by: stereogum at 07/02/04 1:00 PM | Reply
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kev doesn't look to good in that last pic, yo.

Posted by: long face steve at 07/02/04 1:04 PM | Reply
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brilliant

Posted by: solace at 07/02/04 1:26 PM | Reply
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your kevin quotes, here and in pervious entries, are absolutely amazing

Posted by: peter at 07/02/04 1:27 PM | Reply
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HILARIOUS!! her acne is terrible.

Posted by: christine at 07/02/04 1:27 PM | Reply
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Brit, Acutane. Acutane, Brit.

Come on...she's gotta have a good derm, right? WTF?!

Posted by: mints at 07/02/04 6:52 PM | Reply
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kevin has a lazy eye

Posted by: malangajones at 07/02/04 7:18 PM | Reply
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has britney quit kaballah?

it seems like she stopped wearing the bracelet since she met kev...

Posted by: Tylla at 07/02/04 9:08 PM | Reply
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stereogum, will you be my baby's daddy? you= amazing hehe

as for brit n' kev, in the people mag w/ their 'interview' brit says he can cook everything-mac n' cheese, fried chicken.

a TPT match made in heaven!

who the f would want to be fed mac n' cheese & fried chicken on a daily basis

Posted by: elliefromthablock at 07/03/04 12:38 PM | Reply
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also what a dumb bitch. we live in a democracy where we're allowed to question our leaders. way more good things have happened b/c of people challenging the system & pushing for change...

get a hairbrush, too!

Posted by: elliefromthablock at 07/03/04 12:41 PM | Reply
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yeah, i screamed "dumb whore" when she came on the screen during F 9/11. Man, where did public schools in America go wrong?

Oh, but I forgot, I bet Britney was HOME-SCHOOLED by the genius mother who ran over the paparazzo...

yikes.

Posted by: astralgirl01 at 07/03/04 2:03 PM | Reply
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did brit ever graduate from high school?

Posted by: Tylla at 07/03/04 6:19 PM | Reply
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holy shit
it would be nice if people would be so vocal and educatedly opinioned (impurdysureimadethosewerdsup, "yo")
about something other than fucking B-job.

Posted by: sumpthinlikeaphenomenom at 07/04/04 12:09 AM | Reply
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Britney...

http://www.worldofbritney.com/si/dump_the_w000tie.jpg

Posted by: Jazzy at 07/04/04 4:03 PM | Reply
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his hat is so perfectly cocked to the side...it gives him instant street cred

Posted by: Shiest at 07/06/04 1:34 PM | Reply
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Oh god-that is *FUNNY*!
hahaha.

Posted by: AMy at 07/07/04 2:36 AM | Reply
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she looks 50 in the first pic... i liked brit when she looked good... she looks dirty now... damn, she is sooo nasty now.

Posted by: rob at 07/07/04 12:59 PM | Reply
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wait, what DID they see? please, say it wasn't garfield.

Posted by: meredith at 07/07/04 5:42 PM | Reply
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she's wasting time on a cheap ugly gangsta boyfriend

Posted by: anne at 09/13/04 5:45 PM | Reply
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she goes better with a prep not a gangsta showing his underwears....nasty!
cheappppppppppppppppppppppppp

Posted by: andy at 09/13/04 5:46 PM | Reply
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i'm happy for you britney you will be a great mum
i love you i wish i can see you you will have to email me so i can send you some emails love louuise cope

Posted by: Louise cope at 12/04/04 8:53 AM | Reply
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Her underwear has skid marks. Britany hardly wipes anymore. It's disgusting. She sleeps in whatever she wears the next day and only cares where her smokes are located. Her breath smells like chain smoking maggots. I put out the douche for her without success.

Posted by: Brittany's Maid at 01/20/05 7:35 PM | Reply
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HA! HA!
I'm using Photoshop:
http://i34.tinypic.com/2my59c0.jpg

Posted by: The-Chill-Pill at 10/07/08 9:29 PM | Reply
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