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February 21, 2007

Celebrity Hot Sauce

That Michael Anthony is coming out of this whole Van Halen thing looking shrewder by the second. First, the Van Halen reunion that he wasn't invited to appears to have torn its spandex before it even got jumping, and now the original VH bassist has a brand new hot sauce for his line of Mad Anthony sauces! Talk about having the last laugh. It's called Mad Anthony's XXXTra Hot Private Reserve (the three Xs mean it's gonna be HOTT). He writes:

Mad Anthony's XXXTra Hot Private Reserve is in the final stages of preparation and is just what you need to turn your favorite meal into a five-alarm inferno.

So ice up those ass-cheeks and get ready to sizzle, because Mad Anthony's XXXTra Hot Private Reserve is on it's way! Don't forget to have the Fire Dept. on speed dial!

Here's Michael, the morning after having a taste of his own medicine.

 

And this is far from the only foray into rocker sauces. The Offspring's Dexter Holland is the proud purveyor of Gringo Bandito while Joe Perry's Rock Your World also purports to be high in its capsaicin count. But none direct you to prepare your sphincter with pain-inhibiting props, so if you like it nice and rough, go XXXTra Hot Private Reserve. We'll stick with Tabasco, thanks.

Posted at 5:33 PM
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13 Comments

I think you are required by law to wash this down with Sammy's Margarita mix.

Posted by: Aaron B at 02/21/07 5:42 PM | Reply
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Sriracha rules the hot sauce world

Posted by: flappppppppa at 02/21/07 5:50 PM | Reply
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A washed up cock rocker imploring me to ice up my ass cheeks is no way to sell a product.

Posted by: Adam at 02/21/07 5:54 PM | Reply
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hot damn, sriracha! that's the key to east asian cuisine.

Posted by: amrit at 02/21/07 6:35 PM | Reply
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"so hot you'd wish you had 2 assholes"

Posted by: toopit at 02/21/07 6:41 PM | Reply
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i can't stop laughing at this. he's so excited about sharing his liquid shits with the world.

Posted by: brent at 02/21/07 8:11 PM | Reply
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And why no mention of Zack de la Rocha's signature brand of anti-establishment horseradish?

Posted by: Brian Farrelly at 02/21/07 9:44 PM | Reply
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With all the hot sauces one has to choose from, I am amazed you can make any money at all with a product like this.

Honey, I found my life's passion...HOT SAUCE! I'm quitting Van Halen and making it full time!!!!

Also, from the site:

"I invite you to try my sauce, and make sweatin’ it out on the can the next morning part of your everyday ritual.

PS-For maximum heat get out the asbestos underwear and DOUBLE YOUR DOSE!!"

Ewww.

Posted by: Zac at 02/21/07 9:56 PM | Reply
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"rrrrocket, rocket, all of my rocket sauce"

- the D

Posted by: fletcher at 02/21/07 10:18 PM | Reply
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I love me some hot sauce hahaha

Posted by: Max at 02/22/07 1:37 AM | Reply
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Never will ingest anything related, however remotly with Van Halen, but I will admit that Joe Perry's brand of sauces is actually pretty good.

Posted by: chris at 02/22/07 7:53 AM | Reply
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hells yeah. every kitchen needs a bottle of sriracha.

Posted by: jp at 02/22/07 8:11 AM | Reply
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