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February 8, 2006

Stereogum's Guide To Grammys 2006

Woo hoo, it's the 48th Annual Grammys tonight. Stereogum knows it's hard to get excited about an awards ceremony in which Paul McCartney received his 10th Album Of The Year nomination since leaving the Beatles (10?!).

Quick primer:

Eligibility "year" is 10/1/04 to 9/30/05. That's why no Ariel Pink! Mariah, Kanye, and John Legend lead with eight nods each. Here are the only categories we care about:

RECORD OF THE YEAR
Award to the Artist (and Producers/Engineers/Mixers).

  • Mariah Carey "We Belong Together"
  • Gorillaz Featuring De La Soul "Feel Good Inc"
  • Green Day "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"
  • Gwen Stefanni "Hollaback Girl"
  • Kanye West "Gold Digger"

    SONG OF THE YEAR
    Award to the Songwriter.

  • Rascal Flatts "Bless The Broken Road"
  • Bruce Springsten "Devils & Dust"
  • John Legend "Ordinary People"
  • U2 "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own"
  • Mariah Carey "We Belong Together"

    ALBUM OF THE YEAR
    Award to the Artist and Album Producer/Engineer/Mixer/Mastering Engineer/Jesus/Etc...

  • Mariah Carey The Emancipation Of Mimi
  • Paul McCartney Chaos And Creation In The Backyard
  • Gwen Stefani Love. Angel. Music. Baby.
  • U2 How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb
  • Kanye West Late Registration

    BEST NEW ARTIST
    Award to the act who establishes its public identity during the elibiligy period. Winner will never be heard from again.

  • Ciara
  • Fall Out Boy
  • Keane
  • John Legend
  • SugarLand

    BEST ALTERNATIVE ALBUM
    The nominating comittee never listened to the following albums, but some members read about Canada Rock in Newsweek and their grandkids like The O.C.

  • The Arcade Fire Funeral
  • Beck Guero
  • Death Cab For Cutie Plans
  • Franz Ferdinand You Could Have It So Much Better
  • The White Stripes Get Behind Me Satan

    Other areas of note:

  • Killers & White Stripes duke it out in Best Pop - Duo Or Group, but will lose to Maroon 5.
  • LCD Soundsystem: Nabbed two Dance noms.
  • Coldplay: Got serverd ... only three noms in rock categories.
  • Gorillaz: (1) "Dirty Harry" competes in Best R&B Song. (2) Animated act PERFORMS LIVE WITH MADONNA during the broadcast. WTF on both counts.
  • Blogger faves Arcade Fire (also nominated for Best Song For Motion Picture or Television), have tough competition. Frontman Win Butler isn't feeling lucky. Via Rolling Stone:
    ROLLING STONE: What was your reaction when you heard about your nominations?
    WIN BUTLER: It's cool, but it's not like something that you're really thinking about when you're making music.

    ROLLING STONE: Was there disbelief?
    WIN BUTLER: No, it was more like, "Didn't our record come out last year?" It didn't really catch on in the States until 2005, though. At least we're not like one of those bands that's been around for, like, fifteen years and gets nominated for Best New Artist.

    ROLLING STONE: If you guys win, who is the first person you'd thank?
    WIN BUTLER: I'll make Regine do a little dance or something. But I really don't think we have much of a chance of winning, because the voting panel doesn't have to listen to the album or anything. It seems like less people would know our album than most of the other albums that we're up against.

    ROLLING STONE: Who would you most want to be paired with for a Grammy performance?
    WIN BUTLER: We just played with U2 -- that was pretty cool. We opened for them in Montreal, and we did a Joy Division cover with them. Maybe I'd try that again so we could nail it, because we only got to practice it in the backstage room.

    ROLLING STONE: Any artists that you think should have been nominated?
    WIN BUTLER: Wolf Parade is amazing. There's a song on their album called "I'll Believe in Anything" that's the best thing I've heard this year.

    Obligatory YouTube: Aracde Fire late night in Union Square covering "Boys Don't Cry"...

    Instead of me live-blogging the Grammys -- let's do it together. Post your comments during the show (yeah, I know you're too cool too watch ... this applies to those who tune in).

    Stereogum's Grammy Drinking Game
    Take a drink everytime Kanye thanks himself in an acceptance speech.

    Photos, videos, & post-show commentary after the jump.


    Will someone buy Madonna a new outfit?

    Watch Madge & Murdoch...







    BIG WINNERS
    U2's Bomb blew away the competition, garnering the group five awards. Mariah, Kanye, Alison Krauss, and John Legend got three (that's Alison's 20th, for those keeping score). Kelly Clarkson, Damian Marley, Chemical Brothers, and Stevie Wonder got two.

    RANDOM THOUGHTS

  • Kelly's 2nd acceptance speech was awkward, but cute: "I don't know what's going on, but thank you Jesus and God..."

  • Kanye & Foxx got all "Tusk" on us. Watch:

  • This was McCartney's first Grammy performance. "Fine Line" and "Helter Skelter" were great...

    ...but he later joined Jay-Z & Chester Bennington for an awkward "Yesterday." Jigga's "Yeah"s and "Uh Huh"s really made it really special [insert sarcasm emoticon.] Watch:

  • Sly Stone's super-hyped appearance (his first since the R&R Hall Of Fame's '93 inductions) was preceded by a pathetic medley by Fantasia, Will.I.Am., Maroon 5, Aerosmith, and other randoms. Let down on all counts. Expectations too high perhaps. But we did get an introduction from Dave Chapelle:
    "I know I have the whole country confused ... When I was a little boy, I said to my mom, 'I'm gonna make it to the top of the socio-economic ladder ... I will be a star.' [beat] 'And immediately go back to Africa.'"
  • Arcade Fire lost to White Stripes. Fingers crossed for a future Win win.

  • White Stripes lost Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group to Maroon 5, as Stereogum predicted.

  • Springsteen made the night's only political statement. He ended "Devils & Dust" with a plea to bring troops home from Iraq. And something about George Bush doesn't like Jersey people (kidding).

  • Burt Bacharach won Best Pop Instrumental. I listened to this album. It is TERRIBLE.

  • Gwen Stefani went home empty handed. But nice bump!

    Posted at 5:50 PM in
    Tags:




    151 Comments

    You gotta admit, there's not a lot of reasons to watch tonight.

    How come people don't go "first" anymore? Is it because it's so 2005?

    Posted by: Dave at 02/08/06 5:55 PM | Reply
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    Is anyone watching E!'s "green carpet coverage"? They just interviewed Death Cab, and while Ben was talking, they put him in a little circle in the corner of the screen while a voluptuous black woman posed scandalously for photographers. Hilarious.

    Also, Ben's suit was effing sweet.

    Posted by: Erik at 02/08/06 6:20 PM | Reply
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    "Wolf Parade is amazing. There's a song on their album called "I'll Believe in Anything" that's the best thing I've heard this year."

    That just made me like Arcade Fire even more.

    Posted by: Basserino at 02/08/06 6:30 PM | Reply
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    Win couldn't be any more correct about "I'll Believe In Anything".

    Posted by: Seanston at 02/08/06 7:06 PM | Reply
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    holy hell i thought that arcade fire shot from an old entry was just a crappy cameraphone shot!! i had no IDEA there was an actual performance!

    christ

    Posted by: fleezrock at 02/08/06 7:24 PM | Reply
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    i love arcade fire, and i get that it's a low quality ripped performance, and admittedly i don't have the context of that performance... but that seriously reminded me more of hanging out behind my high school than it did the majesty of 'funeral'.

    Posted by: s at 02/08/06 7:38 PM | Reply
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    Oh, I can't wait to see the winner for Alt. Album. Hopefully it's death cab. They've done enough, they deserve it. I saw that tight suit that someone mentioned above. It is truely amazing.

    Posted by: Amanda at 02/08/06 7:39 PM | Reply
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    Arcade Fire had better win for Alternative album. It's the best album up for the Grammys this year. The Wolf Parade thing is right on, I'll Believe Anything should be up for some kind of award.

    Posted by: Keegan at 02/08/06 7:41 PM | Reply
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    0MG t3h fall 0ut boi bettR win !

    on a serious note, i'm glad win seemed relatively offended at his nominiation haha. the grammies are a joke.

    Posted by: dave f at 02/08/06 7:58 PM | Reply
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    Okay so Madonna just popped up from the ground next to the animated Gorillaz characters.

    I'm utterly confused.

    I really don't think that this is worth watching any further.
    I can't seem to allow myself to turn this shit off though. It's the whole... "watching a horrible accident" effect.

    Posted by: Kristinaaa at 02/08/06 8:05 PM | Reply
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    Okay, I'm still getting over Madonna walking in front and BEHIND the Gorillaz. That, and Madonna's girdle...

    Posted by: djelvis at 02/08/06 8:09 PM | Reply
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    The winner for alternative album will be the most marketable. My bet is on Beck but my heart is with Arcade Fire.

    Posted by: elleff at 02/08/06 8:09 PM | Reply
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    obviously the white stripes won alternative album.

    Posted by: aww at 02/08/06 8:11 PM | Reply
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    WAY TO GO KELLY!

    Posted by: kristin at 02/08/06 8:14 PM | Reply
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    the "I'd like to thank God" count: 0

    Posted by: boomerpetway at 02/08/06 8:16 PM | Reply
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    Just imagine coldplay and paltrow naked together.

    Posted by: adam at 02/08/06 8:18 PM | Reply
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    hmmm...do i turn the tv from watching project runway on bravo to watch the travesty that's called "music's biggest night"?

    no thanks. you guys have fun.

    Posted by: bethanne at 02/08/06 8:21 PM | Reply
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    Kanye West Drinking Game:
    Thanks Himself: 1 drink.
    Thanks God: 1 drink.
    Thanks his Mom: 1 drink.
    Makes comments about our President being racist: Chug bottle.

    Posted by: Keegan at 02/08/06 8:23 PM | Reply
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    > Kanye West Drinking Game:
    > Thanks Himself: 1 drink.
    > Thanks God: 1 drink.
    > Thanks his Mom: 1 drink.
    > Makes comments about our President being
    > racist: Chug bottle.

    Haaa. I can't wait to hear his response to Muhammad cartoons.

    Posted by: scott at 02/08/06 8:33 PM | Reply
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    F all of you, pitchfork said it right - coldplay is the feeling mans rock band - that may not be a great compliment but I will take it

    Posted by: Jay at 02/08/06 8:35 PM | Reply
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    Entertainment Weekly has posted the winners already...WTF?

    http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1157921_4_0_,00.html

    Best start drinking now, cuz it looks like Kanye is gonna be thanking himself alot.

    Female Pop Vocal Performance
    ''Since U Been Gone,'' Kelly Clarkson

    Male Pop Vocal Performance
    ''From the Bottom of My Heart,'' Stevie Wonder

    Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal
    ''This Love,'' Maroon 5

    Solo Rock Vocal Performance
    ''Devils & Dust,'' Bruce Springsteen

    Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal
    ''Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own,'' U2

    Rock Song
    ''City of Blinding Lights,'' U2

    Alternative Music Album
    Get Behind Me Satan, The White Stripes

    Female R&B Vocal Performance
    ''We Belong Together,'' Mariah Carey

    R&B Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal
    ''So Amazing,'' Beyoncé & Stevie Wonder

    R&B Song
    ''We Belong Together,'' Mariah Carey

    R&B Album
    Get Lifted, John Legend

    Contemporary R&B Album
    The Emancipation of Mimi, Mariah Carey

    Rap Solo Performance
    ''Gold Digger,'' Kanye West

    Rap Performance by a Duo or Group
    ''Don't Phunk With My Heart,'' The Black Eyed Peas

    Rap Song
    ''Diamonds From Sierra Leone,'' Kanye West

    Female Country Vocal Performance
    ''The Connection,'' Emmylou Harris

    Male Country Vocal Performance
    ''You'll Think of Me,'' Keith Urban

    Posted by: oh snap at 02/08/06 8:35 PM | Reply
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    Bono just said that Vertigo is a song that "makes you want to burn your house to the ground". I guess I'd have to agree.

    Posted by: Kristinaaa at 02/08/06 8:40 PM | Reply
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    Mary J. Wrong Register

    Posted by: adam at 02/08/06 8:44 PM | Reply
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    Everyone is just praying for Kayne to say something ridiculous.

    Posted by: Kristinaaa at 02/08/06 8:50 PM | Reply
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    Thanks Himself: 0
    Thanks God: 1
    Thanks his Mom: 1
    Comments on racism: 0

    Posted by: Keegan at 02/08/06 8:51 PM | Reply
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    why do I always spell Kanye wrong?

    Posted by: Kristinaaa at 02/08/06 8:52 PM | Reply
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    What happened to Jon Stewart?

    Posted by: boomerpetway at 02/08/06 8:56 PM | Reply
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    That Kelly Clarkson performance just now?

    Further proof that she should have been nominated for more grammys than she was.

    Posted by: brent at 02/08/06 9:08 PM | Reply
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    Has Sir Paul ever dusted off Helter Skelter for his generally zzzzzworthy live performances?! I'm as cynical as they come but I am dorking out with goosebumps right now.

    Posted by: Kat at 02/08/06 9:16 PM | Reply
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    Mesa Boogie,Y'all.
    I am impressed with Sir Paul's Helter Skelter.
    Who's the burn victim playing guitar with him?
    The Black eyed nigga please.
    How does Love- Hewitt still get invited to these events?

    Posted by: Phenumpkin at 02/08/06 9:19 PM | Reply
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    Mesa Boogie,Y'all.
    I am impressed with Sir Paul's Helter Skelter.
    Who's the burn victim playing guitar with him?
    The Black eyed nigga please.
    How does Love- Hewitt still get invited to these events?

    Posted by: phenumpkin at 02/08/06 9:20 PM | Reply
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    You know, John Legend deserved it. Playing the piano is hard work, and he does it well.

    Posted by: Amanda at 02/08/06 9:21 PM | Reply
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    so what's the deal with noodle and madonna

    Posted by: bean at 02/08/06 9:22 PM | Reply
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    It seems as if McCartney just sold himself to a new generation of music fans. Sandwiched between Kelly Clarkson and Black Eyed Peas, the old man just rocked out. I was impressed. I wasn't sure he could do it at his age, but by the end of the song he was in rare form in terms of vocals.

    Posted by: boomerpetway at 02/08/06 9:24 PM | Reply
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    the black eyed peas make me hurt inside.

    'my dog jamie fox'
    'my man john legend'
    'my pimp mario'
    'oh yeah, and stevie wonder'.

    Posted by: lisa at 02/08/06 9:24 PM | Reply
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    Turns out John Legend would just like to "take it slow."

    Posted by: Kyle at 02/08/06 9:27 PM | Reply
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    Come on, Mariah- Bring the Crazy!

    Posted by: phenumpkin at 02/08/06 9:27 PM | Reply
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    Oh, no. Mariah Carey confessional time...? These "honest, conversational" introductions seem a bit melodramatic. Again, where is Jon Stewart. Maybe I'm out of the loop, but wasn't dude supposed to host this gig?

    Posted by: boomerpetway at 02/08/06 9:28 PM | Reply
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    Mariah could do the majority of her new album without even switching up the beat...

    Posted by: Kyle at 02/08/06 9:30 PM | Reply
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    "'my dog jamie fox'
    'my man john legend'
    'my pimp mario'
    'oh yeah, and stevie wonder'."


    I believe it was "My ninja Mario."

    Why do the other two stand like they are in The Matricies?


    What did he say about mexican and a shirt? They messed UP the roll call nominee thing dude.

    Posted by: adam at 02/08/06 9:32 PM | Reply
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    Well, Mariah has officially out-divad Mary J. Blige. Going off in front of a gospel choir is significantly more divafied that going off in front of U2. I think.

    Posted by: boomerpetway at 02/08/06 9:32 PM | Reply
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    Anybody have links to videos of the performances?

    Posted by: Brian at 02/08/06 9:33 PM | Reply
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    boomerpetway-

    stewart's hosting the oscars. that one's for movies. whole other medium.

    Posted by: mark at 02/08/06 9:33 PM | Reply
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    That's 2 for Kelly Clarkson, what is wrong with the world?

    Posted by: Kyle at 02/08/06 9:35 PM | Reply
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    Jon Stewart is hosting the Academy Awards, boomerpetway.Unfortunately, Jon is the only thing that could save this shiz.

    Posted by: Bobbie at 02/08/06 9:35 PM | Reply
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    Mark

    Thanks. Apparently, I get they years 2001 and 2006 mixed up easily. He has hosted a couple of times before, right?

    Posted by: boomerpetway at 02/08/06 9:37 PM | Reply
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    This country man song has the same melody as Torn by Imbruglia right??????

    Posted by: adam at 02/08/06 9:44 PM | Reply
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    Time for mandatory country music time.

    Posted by: Kyle at 02/08/06 9:47 PM | Reply
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    Interesting that jay-z chose not to speak after winning.

    Posted by: boomerpetway at 02/08/06 9:51 PM | Reply
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    I'd choose not to speak too if I was the best rapper alive and made an album with one of the worst rock bands alive.

    Posted by: luke McCormick at 02/08/06 10:00 PM | Reply
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    im studying for an exam tomorrow, my only excuse for not watching the grammys

    Posted by: sd at 02/08/06 10:05 PM | Reply
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    holy fuck. was that sly stone???

    Posted by: mdkane at 02/08/06 10:07 PM | Reply
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    Yeah, what was the DEAL with the mohawk? The sound balancing was terrible, you couldn't even hear him... or half the people singing.

    Posted by: miranda at 02/08/06 10:09 PM | Reply
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    Joss Stone, John Legend, Maroon 5, will.i.am, Aerosmith (wtf?), but where is the man himself? Sly Stone. Haven't seen the man since I watched his cracked out appearance on the Dick Cavett show via utube (check it out). I do like that they started out with "family affair", but it could have used a little Sly.

    Nevermind there he is. And apparently, dude has been cracked out since that day on the Dick Cavett show.

    Unexpected collaboration: Aerosmith, Santana, and Sly Stone? Who'd a thunk it would actually be somewhat entertaining. At the end there it got a little "we are the world" but... a spectacle for sure.

    Posted by: boomerpetway at 02/08/06 10:09 PM | Reply
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    The mohawk made Mariah look sane.

    Posted by: boomerpetway at 02/08/06 10:11 PM | Reply
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    Jay-Z and Linkin Park are performing?!

    hahaha yesss.

    Posted by: Kristinaaa at 02/08/06 10:15 PM | Reply
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    So the Hova, LP and Sir Paul join forces? Jesus H. Bad Combo.

    Posted by: Kyle at 02/08/06 10:18 PM | Reply
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    linkin park and sir paul.

    Posted by: george at 02/08/06 10:19 PM | Reply
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    McCartney is playing the part of the everyman tonight. First he rocked out hard, then he joined jay-z and lincoln park on stage. And during the breaks he's been selling credit cards. All things to all people. Or something.

    Posted by: boomerpetway at 02/08/06 10:20 PM | Reply
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    I wondered why JayZ was wearing the Lennon T-shirt.

    Posted by: miranda at 02/08/06 10:20 PM | Reply
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    out of George Harrison shirts?

    Posted by: greg at 02/08/06 10:23 PM | Reply
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    For the record, I've seen Macca a number of times since he's started touring again and he's actually gotten steadily better. He plays "Helter Skelter" in pretty much every show now. I'm sorry if you think Paul is ZZZZworthy. I guess Animal Collective is a bit more exciting. But I will agree, pairing him with Jay-Z and dude from Linkin Park is a bad decision, but the dude needs street cred, I suppose.

    Posted by: Fed-Ex Pope at 02/08/06 10:25 PM | Reply
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    Is it just me, or does the Boss need more cowbell?

    Posted by: Kyle at 02/08/06 10:30 PM | Reply
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    michelle williams', like the new peter jackson, reminds me of skeletor.


    can someone please make a joke about bono's hat/the comment 'if you think this away has gone to our head, it already has!'?

    Posted by: natalie h. at 02/08/06 10:32 PM | Reply
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    michelle williams', like the new peter jackson, reminds me of skeletor.


    can someone please make a joke about bono's hat/the comment 'if you think this award has gone to our head, it already has!'?

    Posted by: natalie h. at 02/08/06 10:33 PM | Reply
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    So did they just blank out "Busta" from Gold Digger?

    Posted by: x at 02/08/06 10:42 PM | Reply
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    Aw, I love the Beatles, Fed-Ex Pope, and didn't mean to come across as too harsh on the guy. I remember being disappointed by "greatest hits medley" Superbowl performance last year, and the song he did before Helter Skelter tonight left me cold. I'm delighted that he can still rock out. (And I seriously could not tell you one Animal Collective song... wha? who? huh? Speak up, Sonny, my hearing aid is rusty!)

    Posted by: Kat at 02/08/06 10:45 PM | Reply
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    That performance just made it all worth while. Hell yes.
    Gold diggas against broke niggas. I want more.

    Posted by: Kristinaaa at 02/08/06 10:46 PM | Reply
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    Did anyone else catch Jamie Foxx brutally butcher a line from "Gold Digger" and then give off a hearty laugh? I did. He's laughing all the way to the bank.

    Posted by: Fed-Ex Pope at 02/08/06 10:47 PM | Reply
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    Of course Billy Joe was nervous when he got that Grammy. Kanye's totally going to jump his ass when he gets off stage. That's a reaction I would have LOVED to have seen on camera.

    Posted by: miranda at 02/08/06 10:50 PM | Reply
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    Speaking of Skeletor, what's up with Sheryl Crow's chest?

    Posted by: Victor at 02/08/06 10:50 PM | Reply
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    Aw Kat, I'm sorry, I'll defend Paul till the grave. I didn't mean to come off angry or anything, but I might have. haha...

    Paul has been reluctant to pull out some of the rockier White Album era and Beatles stuff until the past year or so in his live shows. It's good to see him bringing them back, because a new generation needs to hear them before it's too late. I know that sounds lame or trite, but it's true.

    Posted by: Fed-Ex Pope at 02/08/06 10:52 PM | Reply
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    "Of course Billy Joe was nervous when he got that Grammy. Kanye's totally going to jump his ass when he gets off stage. That's a reaction I would have LOVED to have seen on camera."

    When they showed him backstage, you could tell Kanye wanted that one real bad.

    Posted by: kristin at 02/08/06 10:52 PM | Reply
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    Something wasn't quite jiving during Sir Paul's performance of "fine line." It's a much better song than that, and it sounded like shite live. He threw the doors open on "helter skelter" though.

    Posted by: miranda at 02/08/06 10:54 PM | Reply
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    what a strangely tune-less song... (xtina and hancock)

    Posted by: s at 02/08/06 10:59 PM | Reply
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    I hope somebody ups videos of McCartney playing both songs

    Not the one with Jay-Z though. . .no need to see that twice

    Posted by: swang at 02/08/06 11:00 PM | Reply
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    "out of george harrison shirts"

    Greg, I think I love you.

    Posted by: miranda at 02/08/06 11:01 PM | Reply
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    Wa Wa Wee Wa! John Legend Won best new artist! Not falloutboy :(

    Posted by: thejam at 02/08/06 11:06 PM | Reply
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    Hasn't Fallout Boy been around for a while? I remember hearing about them way back when there was only 1000 Hot Topics.

    Posted by: Fed Ex-Pope at 02/08/06 11:13 PM | Reply
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    Sly Stone didnt really react well to those lights i guess... http://www.pondracket.com
    oldest mohawk ever

    Posted by: mike at 02/08/06 11:15 PM | Reply
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    Damn, i really wanted Fall Out Boy to win best new artist. I was hoping that would make them go away. :(

    Posted by: erika! at 02/08/06 11:19 PM | Reply
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    nnnnooooooo!!!


    not bono! anyone but bono!

    Posted by: not bono! at 02/08/06 11:20 PM | Reply
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    Oh, U2 wins Album of the Year....Yeah, they totally deserve that. Atomic Bomb is just that, the bomb. Oh, I'm also joking hardcore.

    Posted by: Kyle at 02/08/06 11:21 PM | Reply
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    Oh God. They've let Bono loose.

    And did Paul McCartney look confused when Bono said he discovered America!

    Posted by: miranda at 02/08/06 11:22 PM | Reply
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    Well I'm honestly just glad that hollerback girl didn't win. Whenever I see her now I think of her (ex?)bandmates and that vid they made in the 90's when the writing was already on the wall.

    Posted by: Fed-Ex Pope at 02/08/06 11:26 PM | Reply
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    Better plugs: Bono or McConaughey

    Posted by: Dan at 02/08/06 11:44 PM | Reply
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    Of those nominated for album of the year, U2 is the obvious choice, and the only one IMO. I know this isn't U2's best album, but certainly better than the other 4.

    Posted by: kakvox at 02/08/06 11:49 PM | Reply
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    Anybody have an MP3 of the public humiliation and mutilation of "A Family Affair". Sly Stone is rolling in his grave. Even though he is still alive, he's rolling in it. And grave dirt ain't kind to that eff-ed up 'do.

    Posted by: LL Cool F at 02/08/06 11:54 PM | Reply
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    Any time Mariah brings out a choir to perform with her, everybody in the room should finish off their bottles.

    Posted by: Penny Woods at 02/09/06 12:41 AM | Reply
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    God bless YouTube: Macca, HOVA and Linkin Park @ the Grammys.

    http://www.youtube.com/?v=Id6XMTxqHiw

    Posted by: Edwin at 02/09/06 12:51 AM | Reply
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    So the Grammys are over. I think we can all agree that watching the Grammys to see the awards is a moot point. Only a handful of the awards are distributed during the massive 3+ hour block, and most of the nominees/winners are undeserving. Anyways, this years Grammys were a step above most recent years. It seems like the ceremony tried to get back on its feet by awarding an unnecessary amount of lifetime achievement awards to the likes of deserving fellows like Bowie and what not. But, as I was saying that since the awards are laughable, the true joy in watching the Grammys is in the performances, which were actually watchable this year. Look at Kanye's performance--It was incredible. John Legend and Bruce Springsteen were great as well. In fact, most of the performances were very good. I even found myself enjoying the Keith Urban piece. Although, in the midst of all this fun were a few slip ups, starting with the Sly Stone embarrassment. Wow, this mash up of songs was unbearable, full of awkward celebrities trying to squeeze out noises that remotely sounded similar to Sly. The only artist in the line up to praise was American Idol winner Fantasia, with her raspy voice. And then out comes Sly, himself. Wow, what a freak! Seriously, this man has had some serious problems over the past decade. The world does not need the return of Mr. Stone. This massive man was dressed in God knows what, with a giant silver Mohawk upon his head. Speaking of which, what was with his head? It seemed as If it had oddly been glued to his chest. The man starts to play piano and misses all his lines, barley singing a few words. Towards the finale, he runs off the stage, leaving the odd assortment of 'celebrities' trying to cover for him. This tragic moment was shameful. The most horrible tribute to a music legend I've ever seen. Next we have a retired Jay-Z performing with a rock band that has thankfully fallen off the face of radio. Ummm…Can some one tell me why we are celebrating a bad mash up from two years ago? And, suddenly, Sir Paul appears. The only joy I found in this was the fact that there is now a 'legal' Jay-Z/Beatles mash up. As for the awards, what was with the u2 sweep? Back off Bono. This was supposed to be Kanye's year! And Sly Stone…go back into hiding, please!

    Posted by: Reid at 02/09/06 1:11 AM | Reply
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    What was Jamie Foxx's contribution to Kanye's performance if not to sing the Ray Charles part? Was Chris Martin ever able to hold a note during the Coldplay song? And please someone stop the mashup/tribute/fuckfests on these shows.

    Posted by: robin at 02/09/06 1:56 AM | Reply
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    What?!?!? No Shakira?!?! Nooooo!!!!

    Posted by: lisa at 02/09/06 2:24 AM | Reply
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    Am I the only one who liked the Cristina performance? I thought that it was gonna be a standing-ovation performance, but when they zoomed in on the crowd, there were less cheers than I expected. Was there something going on that I didn't know about? Btw, she doesn't look as durrty!

    Posted by: lisa at 02/09/06 2:30 AM | Reply
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    I haven't listened to Green Day since the early 90's (was bored by them then) but why, oh why, do they win so many awards? It just proves how fucked the industry really is.

    Posted by: CK at 02/09/06 4:39 AM | Reply
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    the grammys are a snore

    we should start a new awards show

    Posted by: grammys and pajammies at 02/09/06 7:01 AM | Reply
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    Yes, "The Pretentions." The only people that would win awards would be bands that had never been heard of. We'd give awards for things "Most Obscure" and "Least Accessible." It'd be a great awards show.

    Posted by: Keegan at 02/09/06 9:25 AM | Reply
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    yes, and starbucks, apple/macintosh, and killrockstars could be among the sponsors

    Posted by: grammys and pajammies at 02/09/06 10:40 AM | Reply
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    Reid, you need to get a f*cking life man.

    Posted by: ryan p at 02/09/06 11:05 AM | Reply
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    Did anyone else think that, during that all too brief performance of "Touch the Sky", that Kanye came out looking like some kind of Michael Jackson/MC Hammer bastard child?

    And if memory serves correct, I first saw FUNERAL available on 9/28/04, which is before eligibility.

    Oh well, fuck it anyway. They didn't win. But was this the first time the Stripes took a Grammy home?

    Posted by: fido at 02/09/06 11:25 AM | Reply
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    OK, someone brought this up briefly before, but:

    How did Madonna walk BEHIND one of the cartoon characters? I paused this shit and it's seamless. Any explanation would be greatly appreciated.

    Posted by: Michelle at 02/09/06 11:33 AM | Reply
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    "And did Paul McCartney look confused when Bono said he discovered America! "

    ya i lolled at that. but i think he said "he discovered the country we are living in" not "America" ... im guessing he meant the "country" of music... ah well he speaks his own language that only he can fully comprehend: bongolese

    Posted by: marsh at 02/09/06 11:45 AM | Reply
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    i also lolled when the camera caught queen latifah mouthing "What!?" right after kelly clarkson's hurried acceptance speech. priceless

    Posted by: marsh at 02/09/06 11:50 AM | Reply
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    HAHA -- the ratings for American Idol were higher than for the Grammy telecast. Gotta love that.

    Posted by: memememe at 02/09/06 12:25 PM | Reply
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    I thought Christina's performance was aight, but with all her trills and runs up & down, the song was almost unrecognizable. Herbie Hancock is the MAN, though.

    Posted by: memememe at 02/09/06 12:34 PM | Reply
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    For those of you that want to know how the Madonna-Gorillaz effect was done:

    It's called "Pepper's Ghost" and it's as old as the hills. They use it at Disneyland's Haunted Mansion. Basically it's a projection against a piece of glass at a 45 degree angle. In this case they used a piece of transparent foil that was wide enough for the character to be displayed but had room for Madge to walk behind it. Because it's transparent you see madonna on the other side. Because the background is black you don't see any seams. For further explanation look it up on Wikipedia.

    I just ruined the Haunted Mansion for everyone.

    Posted by: Fred at 02/09/06 12:50 PM | Reply
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    Fred, you're the best!

    And by the by, Haunted Mansion was already ruined for me when I saw my head on a ghost's body and shat my pants when I was 6.

    Posted by: Michelle at 02/09/06 12:53 PM | Reply
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    Har Mar was snubbed.

    Posted by: mrbenning at 02/09/06 12:56 PM | Reply
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    Get the Ray Charles version of "A Song For You". Christina has a great voice, just no taste.

    Posted by: Johnny at 02/09/06 1:53 PM | Reply
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    Oh my god who was that loudmouth white girl lousing up the first section of the Sly "tribute" oh my god that sucked so hard, it was so fucking pathetic, did they even practice? IT WAS SHIT. The aerosmith dudes were like Really Off! and that fucking goddamned no talent shit rapper, stupid dancer fucker from the 'peas. what the hell? I loath to say it but the only one who gave even a stylistic nod to Sly was that BOOB outta moron5. Holy shit. Really, it got better when Sly came on, banged on his synth, mumbled a few lyrics and walked the fuck off the stage. Hope they gave him some cold hard cash for completely destroying his songs. What a fucking waste.
    Yea, and where was ol' Jon S.?

    Posted by: dustjacket at 02/09/06 2:25 PM | Reply
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    That wasn't the real Madonna when she walked behind the Gorillaz. That was the hologram Madonna!! Notice that she wasn't wearing stockings when she first appeared on stage, but when she joins her dancers, she's wearing stockings.

    Posted by: jimbo at 02/09/06 3:31 PM | Reply
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    uhh how do you explain pepper's ghost if that one cartoon walked out there....was there a moveable pane of glass? or one giant pane of glass?

    i think holographics are much more advanced than haunted mansion techniques....either that...or the hologram Madonna theory is correct

    Posted by: jim at 02/09/06 3:56 PM | Reply
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    Dudes, where the fawk was my main man, Dapper Jonnie Stewart? Did he bow out due to the birth of his daughter, or wot?

    Posted by: Slow To Get The Point at 02/09/06 4:22 PM | Reply
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    wheres the helter skelter vid? sly stone? please and danke

    Posted by: montresor at 02/09/06 4:40 PM | Reply
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    I believe the hologram madonna is correct as she is wearing a different colored leotard and a corsety thing in the second part of the song. There was only a few seconds in between her being with the gorillaz and being with the back up dancers and i doubt she would have been able to change and run to a different part of the stage in that amount of time.

    Posted by: dd at 02/09/06 4:51 PM | Reply
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    Am I missing something? Admittedly, I didn't see Madonna and those irritating Brits on TV, just on blurry YouTube. But it looks like it's just a pre-taped Madonna digitized with some CGI monkeys and projected on a big screen. Long musical pause follows, then we see Madonna live on the next (real) stage, miked differently and looking a little more haggard. So where's the magic in that?

    Also, holograms are three-dimensional. Stereoscopic. There's no point in showing holograms on regular television. None at all. Nobody can see holograms stereoscopically on TV.

    Sorry, Pepper.

    Posted by: Slow To Get The Point? at 02/09/06 5:11 PM | Reply
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    the helter skelter is on youtube

    http://www.youtube.com/?v=oybjnCYdFSk

    Posted by: jim at 02/09/06 5:54 PM | Reply
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    to everyone asking about Jon Stewart, he's hosting the Oscars, not the Grammies.

    Posted by: richard at 02/09/06 6:56 PM | Reply
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    I loved the performances! although i think last year's opening was better...but still, wait, if I'd known FF was nominated for best alt album I would've been pissed when I found out the stripes won! I love both albums, though. And as far as the gorillaz go, I'd like to see them live just to see if they can move around more than I have seen them when they performed on the Grammys and European MTV awards. 'Cos honestly, they were kinda boring. But Madonna had a bit of energy...er no, I like her hair...eh watevs. But if the first part was recorded then that would explain how her whole outfit changed in like 2 seconds...

    Posted by: alexis at 02/09/06 7:53 PM | Reply
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    oh and i forgot, duuuuuuudes during the Paul McCartney performance--the second, awesome, rockin one--was that BOWIE playing guitar and singing back-up?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by: alexis at 02/09/06 8:01 PM | Reply
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    in regards to the above: no

    Posted by: jim at 02/09/06 9:28 PM | Reply
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    Ok, why is nobody mentioning the crapfest that was the U2-Mary J. Blidge Duet on One?? too cool for that? becuase for me, that was just the end of that song

    Posted by: Osvaldo at 02/09/06 11:16 PM | Reply
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    Hahaha, yeah I thought Kanye with gloves on looked so weird, and I was thinking MJ too. I thought Mariah singing with a gospel choir with so much bling on her finger and mic looked even weirder. Did Kelly even thank American Idol? Haha!

    Posted by: lisa at 02/10/06 1:33 AM | Reply
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    Is it just me, or did Sly Stone remind you of the bad guy from gremlens. I can't think of his name, stripe?

    Posted by: Gregm G. at 02/10/06 10:18 AM | Reply
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    Sorry, the movie is spelled Gremlins. A forgotten classic.

    Posted by: Greg G. at 02/10/06 10:20 AM | Reply
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    Yeah, Herbie's the man. That was great pinao playing. For some reason, I was wishing that the piano top would close on Christina's hands...

    Posted by: lisa at 02/10/06 11:13 AM | Reply
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    So pissed. These things are racist. No mention of Jennifer. No mention of Robot. I’m writing the ACLU: http://www.jenniferlovestherobot.com/index.html

    Posted by: mcscotch at 02/10/06 2:41 PM | Reply
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    I promise Kanye West is nothing like me...

    Posted by: jesus at 02/10/06 3:41 PM | Reply
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    Was that Gremlins II?

    I love this new tangent.

    I can go on and on about Gremlins II. Wasn't there one of 'em where his deformity was his space sprouted vegetables?

    And we all love Electric Gremlin, obvs.

    Posted by: scott at 02/10/06 6:01 PM | Reply
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    Is ANYONE going to explain to me why Jon Stewart didn't host the Grammys like he was supposed to?

    Posted by: Jake at 02/10/06 7:30 PM | Reply
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    He's hosting the Oscars...not the Grammys.

    Posted by: Robert at 02/12/06 7:15 PM | Reply
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    wat song'did colplay perform??

    Posted by: jj at 02/14/06 12:33 AM | Reply
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    First off: Madonna nor the Gorilazz are a hologram in the beginning, they are a projection. Holograms are only to be found in start trek and such.
    Second: Her album is amazing, but she had nothing to do with that. Go producers!
    Not bad for a woman who has yet to hit a note.

    And my last thought is this one: Why are we paying for these arrogant (mostely Mariah, Britney, Kanye and that guy with the sappy piano song which I could have written myself) people's lifestlye. I own Christina's gown, I paid for Britney's nosejob and Madonna's mansions. And why should I? For the hour of music I enjoy for a week and then get bored with it because they use the same chords over and over again? Nope, these days I download. Celebs are the most fake, arrogant, selfloving, mediahorney, desperately attention seeking people in the world. Otherwise they wouldn't be famous would they. Get a shrink like the rest of us!

    Posted by: Timmuh at 02/20/06 5:46 PM | Reply
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    Oops forgot a little note on the Madonna thing, in case no one noticed, projecty madonna walks off rightstage and eds up leftstage...well we always knew she was bendy...

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