Why Is Gwen Crying?
We actually sorta like what we're hearing of Sweet Escape ('cause the rest of the album features approximately NO yodeling), but holy shit does it have nothing on our love for her promo shots.
Why so sad, Stefani? Care to venture a guess? Well if ya do, we've got a free copy of Sweet Escape for the best answer. We'll even have a box of Kleenex® sent to her in your name! And remember, it's a contest, so make it yer answers good. Let's hear 'em! We'll pick a winner Friday 11/17 at 6PM EST (that's tomorrow!). The album will ship to the lucky Harajuku Lover on 12/5.
UPDATE: Someone took away her lollipop?! (Thanks A IV.)
Posted at 11:49 AM in Contest
Tags: Gwen Stefani
Gwen has realized that life married to Gavin and with his babies isn't the universe-shattering life fufillment she envisoned it to be on approximately 27 No Doubt songs.
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She heard that designer Vivienne Westwood has decided to cross over into the music world but has no plans to include a shoutout to Gwen and her L.A.M.B. line on any song.
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she discovered that while she wished it wasn't true and even enlisted an entire marching band to help her believe, she was regardlessly a hollaback girl.
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Because she ate shit, thinking it was a banana.
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She heard that designer Vivienne Westwood has decided to cross over into the music world but has no plans to include a shoutout to Gwen and her L.A.M.B. line on any song.
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Because she ate shit, thinking it was a banana.
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She is recalling touring with Blink-182 a few years back. Not only that, but the fact that No Doubt OPENED for Blink.
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The Harajuku girls stole her clothes...
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The Harajuku girls stole her clothes...
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The Harajuku girls stole her clothes...
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because she remembered right after the photo shoot that tears come from the inside corner of eyes.
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because she remembered right after the photo shoot that tears come from the inside corner of eyes.
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because she remembered right after the photo shoot that tears come from the inside corners of eyes
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she just found out she couldn't adopt a malawian baby.
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because she discovered that everytime she yodels a swiss baby dies.
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Obviously, only listening to Gavin's new solo material could elicit such a reaction.
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She just realized that she guested on a moby and an eve song.
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Good at a few things. Great at nothing.
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She remembered that she licked moby's head, and that there is video evidence of it.
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Someone did, in fact, tell her. And it hurts.
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Someone did, in fact tell her. And it hurts.
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obviously shes in tears because madonna didnt want the free L.A.M.B clothes she sent to her new kid david....she even accused her of tryin to gain free media attention from the deed...pooor gwen..
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Because 'those weren't pillows?'
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Darfur?
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She's the long-lost daughter of Rick Santorum and is distraught about her daddy losing his seat in the Senate.
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Because no matter how hard she tries, she is not, has not or shall never be FERGALICIOUS.
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She actually realized that her shit is bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S) and it's pretty painful push whole bananas out of your anus, thus the tears.
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She actually realized that her shit is bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S) and it's pretty painful to push whole bananas out of your anus, thus the tears.
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Without a doubt I have no doubt that she's crying because she misses the comradery of No Doubt.
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i'm pretty sure it has something to do with Tony Kanal.
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Laguna Beach series finale. those kids learned a lot this season.
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it's all your fault, she screens her phone calls. beause no matter matter matter matter who calls, she has to scree-ahhh-eee-aaahh-eeeennn her phone calls.
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britney and kev are no more.
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She just listened to that Exies cover?
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it's all your fault, she screens her phone calls. beause no matter matter matter matter who calls, she has to scree-ahhh-eee-aaahh-eeeennn her phone calls.
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because she REALLY thought britney and kfed would last! :(
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britney and kev are no more.
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She can't take the fact that people keep thinking that she sings "The Stars Are Blind"
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her favorite band (the decemberists) moved to a major label
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she is sitting in david byrne's "wedge" chair
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she looked down and realized she's NOT just a girl
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she is sitting in david byrne's "wedge" chair
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Gwen is crying becuase she's no longer Just A Girl, and it's driving her Bananas.
Or she is chopping onions.
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sorry about the double post
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Cause she couldn't think of a clever answer to one up every other Stereogum reader and win her own album. :(
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she just heard glycerine for the first time
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She's auditioning for the role of the big black guy in a remake of Madonna's "Like A Prayer" video.
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because that's what girls do
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because she just looked into a mirror
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She's crushed because photographer Jill Greenberg just told her the monkeys had WAY more personality than Gwen:
http://www.paulkopeikingallery.com/artists/greenberg/index2.htm
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because she's ugly
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Don't speak...
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Because she'd rather sink -- than call Brad for help!
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Because they just told her, "Glamour Shots will be closing in five minutes."
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Taylor Ware reprimanded her for being an embarrassment to yodelers everywhere.
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she's trying to prove she's not a robot.
she will never be japanese.
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Because she failed this indie-snob quiz:
http://www.poopoodles.com/naytest_Nodoubt.html
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Because she just saw the album cover and realized how ridiculous those sunglasses really look. Ugliest. Sunglasses. Ever.
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Just heard Institute for the first time.
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Because she just saw the album cover and realized how ridiculous those sunglasses really look. Ugliest. Sunglasses. Ever.
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Because she has a vagina full of scorpions. Or was that pink?
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He spoke. And it hurts.
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Pro-Active shipment late. Waaaay late.
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In her lifelong love of bannanas and their highly efficient and lovable design, she is meloncholy over recently discovering God did not create bannanas after reading the copy of Origin of Species she recived for Christmas
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He spoke. And it hurts.
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because her throat hurts from that silly yodeling
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because her throat hurts from that silly yodeling
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because her throat hurts from that silly yodeling
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because her throat hurts from that silly yodeling
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He spoke. And it hurts.
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Gwen is crying because she forgot her Ricola.
anyone?
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In her lifelong love of bannanas and their highly efficient and lovable design, she is meloncholy over recently discovering God did not create bannanas after reading the copy of Origin of Species she recived for Christmas
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He spoke. And it hurts.
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In her lifelong love of bannanas and their highly efficient and lovable design, she is meloncholy over recently discovering God did not design banannas specifically for her pleasure after reading the copy of Origin of Species she recived for Christmas
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In her lifelong love of bannanas and their highly efficient and lovable design, she is meloncholy over recently discovering God did not design banannas specifically for her pleasure after reading the copy of Origin of Species she recived for Christmas
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because she's discovered she's really not lovely 'underneath it all'
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She's discovered she's really not lovely 'underneath it all'
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She's discovered she's really not</i? lovely 'underneath it all'
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In her lifelong love of bannanas and their highly efficient and lovable design, she is meloncholy over recently discovering God did not design banannas specifically for her pleasure after reading the copy of Origin of Species she recived for Christmas
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Hmm, she's crying because Kelly Clarkson is 'so moving on'... with Tony.
But you're 'cool' with that, right chickie?
DwD
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Gwen is crying because she forgot her Ricola.
anyone?
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Gwen is crying because she forgot her Ricola.
anyone?
cwmoore@olemiss.edu (this thing never stores my email)
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Gwen just had to shed a tear after she found out that Fergie is now sampling Porgy and Bess for her next single, how can she out-black that?
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Gwen just had to shed a tear after she found out that Fergie is now sampling Porgy and Bess for her next single, how can she out-black that?
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Gwen just had to shed a tear after she found out that Fergie is now sampling Porgy and Bess for her next single, how can she out-black that?
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She, too, was thinking 'bout Alicia Keys, couldn't keep from...
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She was thinkin' 'bout Alicia Keys, couldn't keep from...
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two words: Intelligent Design
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I thought she was crying because Jared Leto broke her blogging finger?
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Hey Baby, She's Just a Girl Underneath it all.
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Hey Baby, She's Just a Girl Underneath it all.
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Timbaland bitch-slapped her
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Because she tried so hard to educate the world on the spelling of bananas, but Doug still doesn't get it.
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She discovered that the world that has passed a shallow brush across her being, will never elevate her from the puddle she originally wanted to escape.
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She just realized she is Gwen Stefani
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As Donna Summer once said:
Mac Arthur Park's is melting in the dark
all the sweet green icing flowing down
someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
and I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, nooo!
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Gwen just had to shed a tear after she found out that Fergie is now sampling Porgy and Bess for her next single, how can she out-black that?
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yeah stereogum peeps please fix your message board i didnt know I had posted fiftyleven times until i refreshed. Sorry message board readers!
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I think she's crying because no matter how hard she wishes, she still isn't Japanese.
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because kingston told her he didn't want a mohawk like maddox.
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Because one day she'll be forty years old and driving a minivan.
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Because Borat dissed her dumb blonde ass in favor of the phenomenal actress that is Pamela Anderson.
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oh you did NOT just link to faded youth :-(
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Because she was born a hermaphrodite.
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Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry
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she's just found out about kfed and britney. it reminds her of jennifer and brad too much.
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Because the idea for a photoshoot has already been done better
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeah_Yeah_Yeahs_EP
http://wendylynchphotography.com/brokensocialpage.html
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Because that idea for a photoshoot has already been done better
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yeah_Yeah_Yeahs_EP
http://wendylynchphotography.com/emilyhainespage.html
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because, hello, have you SEEN gavin's new look?
http://dlisted.com/2006/11/07/gavin-rossdales-not-hot-makeover/
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you've got it all wrong. they're tears of joy because people are actually swallowing this yodelling shit! [and because she isn't being raked over the coals for that wretched nun outfit!]
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she wasn't picked up as main actress for alice in wonderland
she'll be herself for the rest of her life
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She is crying because she is crying tears of joy for finally living the life she has always wanted for a long time, which is being married and having a baby. That is why she is crying.
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She is crying because she is crying tears of joy for finally living the life she has always wanted for a long time, which is being married and having a baby. That is why she is crying.
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because the idea for the photoshoot has already been done better
http://www.undertheradarmag.com/EmilyHaines3.jpg
http://991.com/newgallery/Yeah-Yeah-Yeahs-Yeah-Yeah-Yeahs-E-334726.jpg
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because she posted the same thing twice.
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lol @ no one special's "because she posted the same thing twice." 10 points!
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FYI -- we're still looking over all the responses. May need to have one than one winner! Anyway, we'll post the winner/winners this week. Thanks everybody.
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Beacause the Harajuku girls escaped from their cages.
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At that very moment, Gwen discovered the stark truth: she was one-upped by Robin Sparkles. And it hurts.
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Beacause the fashion nazis said she isn't allowed to wear anything she designed
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Gwen realised that due to being a hemaprodite (a person born with male AND female parts) she couldnt have his baby...
and then she realised crying makes her banana colored make up smudge... that right? right?
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Gwen realised that due to being a hemaprodite (a person born with male AND female parts) she couldnt have gavins baby...
and then she realised crying makes her banana colored make up smudge... that right? right?
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Gwen realised that due to being a hemaprodite (a person born with male AND female parts) she couldnt have gavins baby...
and then she realised crying makes her banana colored make up smudge... that right? right?
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Gwen realised that due to being a hemaprodite (a person born with male AND female parts) she couldnt have gavins baby...
and then she realised crying makes her banana colored make up smudge... that right? right?
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Gwen realised that due to being a hemaprodite (a person born with male AND female parts) she couldnt have gavins baby...
and then she realised crying makes her banana colored make up smudge... that right? right?
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AI LO VIY GWEN LO VIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
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