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June 8, 2005

Federlines Get Profound (The "I Love You" Episode)

INT. BEDROOM - EVENING

              BRITNEY
       I'm all for girl power.
       Yeah, you know. But...

              KEVIN
       Everybody has to be loved.

              BRITNEY
       I want somebody who will take care of me.
       But that sounds stupid. Is that stupid?

              KEVIN
       That's probably the smartest thing I've
       heard you say since I've been out here.

I can't wait to see how this thing turns out.

And you guys thought I wan't paying attention...

Posted at 8:38 AM




45 Comments

First comment, bitches.

Posted by: Reli at 06/08/05 10:08 AM | Reply
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Smoking while pregnant. What a bitch.

Posted by: g at 06/08/05 10:16 AM | Reply
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she wasnt pregnant back then.

Posted by: Gabi at 06/08/05 10:18 AM | Reply
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She look like a crack whore!

Posted by: Gabi at 06/08/05 10:19 AM | Reply
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I watched Chaotic for the first time last night and I could feel myself getting dumber.

I think Kevin and Britney were meant for each other, because they are both dumb as rocks.

Posted by: Adrienne at 06/08/05 10:24 AM | Reply
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"Everybody has to be loved." - Kevin Federline

So true, dude.

Posted by: Alex at 06/08/05 10:33 AM | Reply
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sure she wasnt.

Posted by: g at 06/08/05 10:40 AM | Reply
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"That's probably the smartest thing I've heard you say since I've been out here."

Yeah, the sad thing is, it probably is. That poor kid. At least he'll probably be dumber than a box of rocks, too, so he won't know the difference.

Posted by: The 15-Minute Hipster at 06/08/05 10:48 AM | Reply
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Haven't you guys ever gotten that pro-life chain email, the one where everyone decides to kill Beethoven because he's deaf and his mom was poor? Federline Junior ends up being Adolf Hitler!

Posted by: Nostradamus at 06/08/05 10:59 AM | Reply
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oh my goodness. the sadness of exploiting low class [even if rich] folks.

Posted by: wes at 06/08/05 11:15 AM | Reply
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has stereogum jumped the shark? there is now commenters commenting on making the first comment.
'tis a dark day indeed.

Posted by: hubs at 06/08/05 11:19 AM | Reply
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You better go see my fuckin' movie "Cinderella Man" or i'll kick all your asses one by one with a telephone. Bitches.

Posted by: Russell Crowe at 06/08/05 11:24 AM | Reply
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Has the phrase "jumped the shark" jumped the shark? I think so, my friends.

Posted by: janine at 06/08/05 11:58 AM | Reply
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Yeah, please stop ripping off my name. Why should it stand for all things no longer relevant?

Posted by: Shark Jumper at 06/08/05 12:14 PM | Reply
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I sing opera better than she does. And that's saying something.

Posted by: 72hrchik at 06/08/05 12:15 PM | Reply
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i wonder if that kid will have any luck on that gene pool...
I hope that baby dont have any serious brain damage.

Posted by: Gabi at 06/08/05 12:16 PM | Reply
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you think there on E or what. it totally seems like they are, the way they smoke and are laying around all high and shit. what says y'all

Posted by: dsp at 06/08/05 12:23 PM | Reply
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Thank you, Shark Jumper. While I'm at it, "X is the new Y" is also over.

Posted by: janine at 06/08/05 12:26 PM | Reply
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...and people, stop adding "-izzle" to words.

Posted by: janine at 06/08/05 12:37 PM | Reply
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janine's out of control

Posted by: dave at 06/08/05 12:41 PM | Reply
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Sorry. I'll get back to work. I always piss people off when I show up anyway.

Posted by: janine at 06/08/05 12:43 PM | Reply
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Gummer, you are a GOD among bloggers ... great pix! my faith in humanity is now totally destroyed,...we definitely need a lot more chlorine in the gene pool...If Roe versus Wade gets repealed its back on crack for me! just look at Ozzy's kids can the Federline clan out do them???? I'm scarred .... I see darknesss ..........Calling Dr. Kevorkian

Posted by: Yale Bloor at 06/08/05 1:40 PM | Reply
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http://www.rockfantasy.com/hulkrules/wbb.html

scott, please post about this.

Posted by: rob at 06/08/05 2:55 PM | Reply
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Complaining that JUMPED THE SHARK has JUMPED THE SHARK has JUMPED THE SHARK. By the way, what I just did has totally... ah, fuck it.

Posted by: Spanner at 06/08/05 3:51 PM | Reply
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Even Sports Illustrated writers think that Humped the Shark has been humped.

Posted by: Shark Humper at 06/08/05 4:27 PM | Reply
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my guess is that somehow, recessive genes will bite them in the ass and their child will be a super genius. and destroy them.

we can only hope.

Posted by: Emily Jane at 06/08/05 4:58 PM | Reply
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What up Stereogum? I'm surprised you haven't blogged about my fiance flashing Euro TV. That's Hot!

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/000978.html

NSFW

Posted by: paris latsis at 06/08/05 5:58 PM | Reply
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"Humped the Shark" is a phrase I can get behind. Perhaps I'll use it in instances when someone gets randomly and suddenly tarted up? Like, if Sandra Bullock were to do some Showgirls-type movie where she flashes her breasts, we might say she's "humped the shark." Or "in those pin-up pictures on XXL, Rudy Huxtable 'humped the shark.'" I like, I like.

Posted by: janine at 06/08/05 5:58 PM | Reply
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Enough with the celeb-reality shows. They are a total waste of time.

Posted by: Mike at 06/08/05 6:29 PM | Reply
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I love these guys

Posted by: cher at 06/08/05 9:52 PM | Reply
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Those 2 are the lowest class, dumbest celebrities ever. Plus, I coulnd't stand to watch their show for more than 30 seconds cuz the shaky camera gave me the worst case of headeache. This program should be sponsored by Advil or something. They look like shey should take showers more often. Britney looks more and more like a washed-up, bipolar, depressive has-been. Kevin looks like your typical moocher-scrub-looser. He's such a free-rider....spending his foolish wife's money on cars, clothing and getaways week-ends in Vegas with strippers...this marriage is a joke.

Posted by: tess at 06/08/05 10:47 PM | Reply
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Britney need's to lay off on the SPEED. I seriously think she is what my native spanish people would call " Una Perikera Siucia" for those that don't know what that means "A dirty coke-head". Wow I can see it now her naked doing lines of a night table, sucking her boyfriends jewels and getting it doggy style, sleeping and eating junk food. Gross I need a shower. Mama Spears I'm sure is so Proud!!!

Posted by: carolina at 06/08/05 10:58 PM | Reply
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Wow I can see it now her naked doing lines of a night table, sucking her boyfriends jewels and getting it doggy style, sleeping and eating junk food.

awesome! now can you tell me where i can see it?

Posted by: vinnie at 06/09/05 12:37 AM | Reply
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So I watched an episode of this and all I heard was the following among with a weird angle with them making out that made me feel I was there and my face was being pushed in to join...

KFed: If only I had the camera right now, cuz yous butt ass naked right now.

You naked with the camera is hot.

Brit: *silent, but camera jiggles because she's laughing...or I at least hope that's why.*

Me: *Dying a bit inside.*

Posted by: calliwell at 06/09/05 12:38 AM | Reply
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Holy *#$&@#&* these comments are hilarious! I am peeing in my pants and I am pee pee mcpoopy! Nostradamus - WTF? I am confused. Yo - jumpin the shizzle is THE shizzle. Fo rizzle.

Posted by: Pee Pee McPoop at 06/09/05 1:51 PM | Reply
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I read at people.com that KFED "both" a new ring for Brit Brit, and im laughing my ass off they are saying that is a "huge gesture"!
Its a huge joke he is buying that with her money!

Posted by: Gabi at 06/09/05 4:39 PM | Reply
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She's a bit of a tart isn't she and she has people like my daughter thinking it's ok to dress up like a fucking whore. Because her fanbase consist of people who can't name a beatles song.

Posted by: Noel Gallagher at 06/09/05 7:35 PM | Reply
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Gabi, in this case, I hope "both" is intended to mean "bought." Why bother with the u and the g and switching the h and the t around? Are you inventing a cure for cancer or something? You must be really busy.

Posted by: Pee Pee mcpoop at 06/10/05 11:16 AM | Reply
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Sorry pee pee i was in a hurry =/

Posted by: Gabi at 06/10/05 1:28 PM | Reply
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Ladies and gentlemen and sociology experiment if you will... what happens when white trash gets money.

Posted by: Blonde Geek at 06/10/05 9:16 PM | Reply
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No worries Gabs - it happens. On another note - Britney seems to have difficulty forming a sentence. I am appalled at how uneducated she is. I guess a GED isn't worth much anymore.

And is it just me - or does the sound of KFed's voice resemble a pedophile? His voice makes me cringe, it's not deep like a man's should be, it just kind of vomits out of his mouth, yuck!

Posted by: pee pee mcpoop at 06/13/05 10:15 AM | Reply
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i'm getiing ready to jump the janine.

Posted by: hubs at 06/14/05 12:38 AM | Reply
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I don't get what all the hype is about Britney...I mean, she looks like trailer trash. And not like it's a new fad or anything and she paid like 10k to look like that either. She looks like actual trailer trash. WTF? Kids are dumb!

Posted by: me at 06/14/05 2:49 AM | Reply
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why do posts on britney always get the most comments?

Posted by: *ash[23] at 06/14/05 5:52 AM | Reply
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Britney posts get the most responses because she's the easiest target and it's just SO entertaining to point and laugh at her stupid, ugly, knocked-up ass. I think it's more because she acts as though she's hot shit and some fabulous celebrity, when in fact the Britney Image from 1999 - 2004 was a huge pornographic publicity stunt, and now that she's gone back to being herself (dirty, smelly, hideous trailer trash replete with cheese-dust fingers and frazzled hair) it's just too much to ignore! Must belittle the retarded morons that make up the Spederlines!


And P.S., if saying that you "just want someone to take care of" you is the SMARTEST thing that you've ever said, I guess we can forget about you going into neurosurgery or something, eh?

Posted by: Jenna at 06/18/05 6:16 PM | Reply
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