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April 10, 2006

Found Found Found

No, not Jerry Garcia's toilet (sadly still MIA).

But rather I'm referring to Morrissey's sex drive, last seen in the dorm room of William (though, allegedly, it was really nothing). Lyrics on the singer's new album have listeners once again speculating about the sexual proclivities of their bedsit hero.

When we first spied the tracklist to Ringleader, and you guys suggested a hundred hilarious fake Mozzy-style track names, we couldn't have predicted the lusty overtones of "Dear God Please Help Me."

There are explosive kegs / Between my legs
Dear God, please help me
Then he motions to me / With his hand on my knee
Dear God, did this kind of thing happen to you?
Now I'm spreading your legs / With mine in-between
Dear God, if I could I would help you
...
But the heart... feels free
In the new Spin -- yes, it still exists, just with more punk porn -- How Soon Is Never? scribe Mark Spitz asks the question on everyone's mind, and Morrissey is predictably cagey.
SPITZ: There's explicit sexuality in some of the lyrics.
MOZ: Only in the ear of the beholder.
SPITZ: "Dear God Please Help Me" probably most so.
MOZ: I am here. I am walking through Rome. My heart is on a string. I am open to offers.
SPITZ: You've always been open to offers. You've just never taken them.
MOZ: I was gazing through my own frosted window. I don't feel that now. I couldn't really imagine being desired. Now, just in the nick of time, I feel perhaps I can be.
SPITZ: So are you sexually active now?
MOZ: Well, it's about time. That's all I can say.
It's about fucking time indeed.

Morrissey - "Dear God Please Help Me" (MP3)

"There is no such thing as life as normal," goes to the chorus-backed refrain on "The Youngest Was The Most Loved." And we say whatever turns you on, Moz. Let out your inner Vito Spatafore, as long as it doesn't involve silly costumes.

For those who have yet to pick up Mozzer's Tony Visconti-aided glam-bam-thank-you-lad rebirth, you're missing out, despite whatever you reviews you've read. (Buy it: Amazon | iTunes.) Though if you're anything like Stereogum, you'll buy Morrissey's albums 'til he's crooning about death from his, er, deathbed.

But honestly, do we really believe Morrissey was celibate for the last twenty years?

Posted at 2:51 PM
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14 Comments

Picked it up yesterday, incidentally along with a New York Dolls import compilation. I've yet to give the new Moz a spin maybe this afternoon.

Posted by: volume-addict at 04/10/06 3:19 PM | Reply
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mozzer the tosser's new one has about 6 great tracks on it. he will never change, it's still the same old with him and it suits me fine

Posted by: Julie at 04/10/06 3:24 PM | Reply
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As Moz might say...

Scott, You're Always A Jester

Posted by: Will E. Maykit at 04/10/06 3:48 PM | Reply
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Geez, between you and about five other MP3 blogs out there, I've downloaded nine of the twelve songs off Morrissey's new album for free. One of these days the RIAA is gonna figure it out and shut you all down.

Posted by: Boyfriend In A Coma at 04/10/06 4:11 PM | Reply
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just what does "hand in glove the sun shines out of our behinds" mean?

well, i wonder.....

Posted by: maya lucia at 04/10/06 4:44 PM | Reply
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I would be gay for Morrissey...

Posted by: bob-o at 04/10/06 4:49 PM | Reply
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I've been a morrissey/smiths fan my whole life, literally. I was raised on their music and I love the new album. It is fantastic but I did read that interview and I did hear those lyrics and I still don't think he's done it. I have my own theroies about why they broke up involving moz and marr but I won't get into that. I think he just loves people thinking stuff about him that isnt always true. Like if someone asked, have you ever done drugs? responds, hasnt everyone? they go, so that's a yes, and they say back, that's upto you. That kind of thing, it adds to the mystique of morrissey

Posted by: Joe! at 04/10/06 6:28 PM | Reply
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Excellent obscure-ish Moz reference in the post title, Scott.

Posted by: Mark Swiderski at 04/10/06 7:36 PM | Reply
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Yeah the new Morrissey is more of the same, which was a disappointment for me considering Alain and the other Boz (not me) didn't write all of the songs. I was hoping Jesse and Mike would have moved Moz in new directions. Don't get me wrong, it's good. It's just a little transitional when I was ready for a new platform. Anyway, I don't agree with Mark above me that a reference to a Kill Uncle track is obscure although I agree with you that Stereogum readers will probably buy all Moz albums until our own light goes out.

Posted by: Boz at 04/10/06 9:38 PM | Reply
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found found found=one of the most loathed moz songs ever on the most loathed album (he doesn't put Mute Witness all those compilations you know, must keep space for jack the ripper again)=suitably indie yuppie title.

the new morrissey is decent, not amazing, but i'll keep buying. mostly because of what the smiths and viva hate did for my high school years. but you run out of good ideas at some point.

Posted by: jack winderberry at 04/11/06 12:06 AM | Reply
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I haven't heard the new Morrissey yet, but Quarry shot up to my favorites with Viva Hate and Your Arsenal.

Posted by: fido at 04/11/06 8:30 AM | Reply
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But honestly, do we really believe Morrissey was celibate for the last twenty years?

This one Moz bio I read (by David Bret) talks about a couple of the serious relationships he's had. He's just been exceptionally good at keeping them on the D-L.

Posted by: pastahero at 04/11/06 11:34 AM | Reply
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Still, it was a good lay, good lay
It was a good lay, good lay
It was a good lay, good lay

Posted by: Ez at 04/11/06 1:05 PM | Reply
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excellent Ez...excellent!

Posted by: melina at 04/11/06 3:02 PM | Reply
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