Handicapping The 49th Annual Grammys' First Five MInutes
Not only is it OK To Like The Grammys, it's so OK that we're inviting you guys to watch 'em with us: Log on Sunday night 'cause we'll be live blogging the show. We'll drink every time Kanye crashes the stage (you are welcome to follow suit).
Tequila shots aside, the three best reasons to tune in to NARAS's shit show are Gordon, Andy, and Stewart. We'll be in a breathless state of suspense for the minutes leading up to the event; of course The Police are gonna sound great, but what are The Police gonna sound great playing? We've got a hunch. Below, our odds on the band's Sunday night song selection.
"Roxanne"
Odds: even
No brainer, here. Funny how a band's most famous song can be the one you least want to hear. On second thought, maybe that's not funny at all. But really, are there any real Police fans out there who would rather hear them open with this than say, "So Lonely," or "Can't Stand Losing You"?
"Every Little Thing She Does is Magic"
Odds: 2-1
The Grammys are like the formulaic romantic comedy of the award-show world, so this seems like a good fit. Classic melody, great beat, and chicks dig it. Do not discount the Valentine's Day factor.
"Every Breath You Take"
Odds: 4-1
Odds would be better if this were a memorial of some sort, but it's hard to justify coming out of a 20+ year hibernation playing a song that half of the people under the age of 25 will assume is a Puff Daddy cover. Although, since nobody under the age of 25 cares about the Grammys, it might sneak in the back door.
"Don't Stand So Close To Me"
Odds: 8-1
Inappropriate teacher-student touching is a hot topic these days, but this feels like too much of a reach. (We'd put the odds of them playing "Don't Stand So Close To Me '86" at around 600-1.)
"De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da" or "Spirits In The Material World"
Odds: 12-1
These guys wrote some pretty coherent political songs back in the day, but it's hard to see them being this overt in a forum like the Grammys. Also, something tells us the recording academy might not want them to sing that "Their logic ties me up and rapes me" lyric.
"Message In A Bottle > Driven To Tears > Wrapped Around Your Finger (Medley)"
Odds: 5-1
Do not discount the possibility of an awards-show style medley. It's been a trend for "classic" artists who play in these types of venues to try to touch on many hits in a short period of time (see: Prince at the Super Bowl). We picked these songs because they were hits we'd like to hear, but if we had to bet real money it would be on the "Every Breath You Take" guitar intro leading into or coming out of another song. In fact, if anybody can predict the actual songs in the medley, we'll give you tickets to the band's July MSG show (you didn't know?).
"Mother"
Odds: 1,000,000-1
It is the Police's shittiest song. It might even be the eighties' shittiest song. But more importantly, Andy wrote it. So Sting won't touch it with a ten foot yogi.
See ya Sunday night! Eee-yo-ohh.
Posted at 6:00 PM
Tags: Andy Summers | Grammys | Stewart Copeland | Sting | The Police
-->
-->
![thumbnail: <![CDATA[Gabe And Rich Watch A Movie: Saló]]>](http://videogum.com//img/thumbnails/photos/salo/salo_criterion_8_50x50.jpg)
It's gotta be Roxanne. If they play Every Breath You Take I'll have to spend the whole night cleaning up vomit.
Score = 0
Oh what I wouldn't give for a sloppy, loose "Truth Hits Everybody." Odds : Never-to-nothing.
Score = 0
They'll definitely not be playing Murder By Numbers. That's perhaps one of the best ever b-sides in music. The rhythm pattern in the intro alone is such a mindfuck, especially when the Stew kicks in.
Score = 0
fuck the police
Score = 0
I'd rather hear "So Lonely" or "Truth Hits Everybody" over "Roxanne" but is that really cuz they are better songs or because I'm overexposed to Roxanne? It could have been the other way around. Same goes for Every Breath You Take.
I'm thinking there will probably be 3 to 4 songs. If only 3 then probably Roxanne, Every Breath You Take, and Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic....if it's 4 though I'd have to say Message In A Bottle. It's Stew's favorite Police track and I even saw Sting play it live a few years back.
On tour though, I'm really hoping for So Lonely, Truth Hits Everybody, Synchronicity II, Secret Journey, Man In A Suitcase, Canary In A Coalmine, ok nevermind...there are too many to count.
Score = 0
i'm going with "every little thing she does...." Although, for some reason, I'm expecting a medley.
Score = 0
"canary in a coalmine" is one jillion to one, but it's such a great track. same with "murder by numbers". but it'll be your usual medley of the biggest three or four songs. you'll have to buy a ticket to the reunion tour to hear the real good stuff.
Score = 0
"Roxanne" is such a terrible award-show song. It doesn't have nearly enough energy. I'm going with "Message," maybe even a medley, like you mentioned.
Score = 0
Since this year is being billed as the 30th anniversary of Roxanne, it is probable that they are going to play it. I'm more interested in the fact that they have scheduled a press conference for the 12th - hopefully to announce a tour.
Score = 0
It won't be Roxanne. I doubt Sting can still sing that in record key.
Score = 0
>It won't be Roxanne. I doubt Sting can still sing that in record key.
he can, and quite well, actually... check out the aol sessions where he did a buncha police tracks last year (or something like that)
Score = 0
Seriously, what the fuck has happened?
Score = 0
If they opened with some of the punkier stuff from teh first album it would be cool. Plus would probably whet the appetite of any kids that might be watching the grammies, listen to the Arctic Monkeys and have no clue who the three old fogeys are. Start with a bang at least.
Or maybe go with atmosphere... something like Bring on the Night.
Not likely though. They will end up doing some shitty greates hits medley. No more than 5 tracks.
-G.
Score = 0
What are the odds of them playing "Be My Girl - Sally?"
Score = 0
They'll be playing Roxanne for sure. Or maybe you missed the 1,000,000 promos during the Super Bowl. Bank it, tantric style.
Score = 0
Since last nights episode of The Office featured the fat office guy's wedding band doing a nearly all Police selection of covers,I think the Grammys have been upstaged.
My advice? Hire a new old brit band to open the show.
Maybe Brinsley Schwartz? Way much cooler.
Score = 0
How about they surprise everybody and play Fall Out or Landlord. That would blow people's minds.
Score = 0
even money says it will be a medley.
Score = 0
SCRANTONICITY!!!!
Score = 0
Second that "Murder by Numbers" thought...
My guess is - "message in a bottle > roxanne" and that's it. Short and sweet.
Score = 0
maybe they could try to comfort the non-winners and play "can't stand losing you"?
Score = 0
am i the only person who not only thinks that not only are the police are shit, but that the grammy's actually HURT the music industry?!
In addition to all the awful winners/awards it has got to be the worst technically produced awards show out there. For the past few years i have cringed while performers are given dead mics, music mixes are incomprehensible and people with 3 records out win "Best New Artist".
I'd rather watch anything other than this piece of crap, thank god for tivo.
Score = 0
I think "Every Little Thing..." probably showcases the whole band best; "Message in a Bottle" would also be a good choice. The Police are quite able to be icky, though (remember that awful, schmaltzy remake of "Don't Stand..."?). Fuckin' Sting, always trying to prove he's got "class."
But they could sure fuck shit up with "Synchronicity II," couldn't they? Fuck it--I wanna hear that, "Next to You," and "Peanuts."
Score = 0
$100 says they do a medley.
Score = 0
"Not only is it OK To Like The Grammys..."
No, it's not.
Score = 0
As far as what the Police will do on Sunday night...I have it on good authority from someone working the show...you won't have to put out your red light!
Score = 0
are we forgetting that The Police completely stunk up the joint at their Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony performance? i wouldn't get yer hopes up for anything brilliant this Sunday. i will guarantee that stewart will play his drums WAY too loudly, however.
Score = 0
the police rarely played every little thing she does is magic live, at least in comparison to the majority of the other songs mentioned. i would put more like 30 to 1 on that song being played. that being said, i'd love to see hole in my life going into too much information, which i know we won't see. the predictable would be a set somehow including one of message in a bottle, can't stand losing you, every breath you take, and/or roxanne.
Score = 0
Watch them rehearse online on Monday at 2:00 PM EST.
http://www.thepolicerehearsals.com/
Score = 0
If they play "Roxanne" I'm going to cry.
If they do a completely novel, upbeat version of "Wrapped Around Your Finger" my head is going to explode with awesome.
Score = 0
I wanna hear them play "One World(Not Three)". I think the odds on that are slightly better than "Mother" or "Behind My Camel"(which actually won a Grammy for Best Instrumental).
Score = 0
I think "Roxanne" will be it, and it will absolutely blow away anything Arctic Monkeys, Green Day, or anyone tonight will do, this is a resurgence of powerpunkpop whatever that means- all I know is that back in the day the Police were always head and shoulders above anyone, the Clash, U2, anybody- they're that great musically,
and truth be told that's why Sting has come back- he knew he had lightning in a bottle with this unit!
Rock Steady Mates!
Score = 0
What I hope they will play: Driven to Tears, Fallout, Bring On the Night - to me, all three songs present the best possibilities for the boys to show the punk ass beeyotches that think Puff Daddy is a musician what a musician really is, and what can be done when three of them that have their shit wired tight can do. Whether punkish, jazzy or soulful-feel-sorry-for-me-ballady, any of these tunes could break into 20+ minute unscripted free for alls, assuming the pogues that run the Grammy's would let such a thing happen.
What they will play: Roxanne, Message in a Bottle, and/or Every Breath You Take. Unfortunately, these three great songs have been ruined by being overplayed to death by radio stations whose Police catalog includes only "The Singles Collection" and the 21 year old running the board only recognizes these three songs, and that's only because it's the only three songs he's ever heard.
What could be an absolutely magical moment in music history will probably end up being a televised segment from the local classic rock station's 'Block Party Weekend.'
We'll know in about 45 minutes or so.
Score = 0
One song. One fucking song. What could have been one of the most seminal moments in Grammy, if not music, history, and they play one fucking song.
And _that_ is why the Grammy's both suck and are irrelevant today.
Score = 0