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August 29, 2008

Happy 50th Michael Jackson!

thumbnail icon: Happy 50th Michael Jackson!

The Daily Mail's posted an article titled "As he turns 50, is this what Michael Jackson should really look like?" The speculation of what he may or may not look like if he hadn't undergone the knife and hardcore depression is just that, speculation, but the reported facts about his everyday life in Las Vegas, where he now resides, are a bummer to say the least:

[H]e spends his time wandering around Las Vegas with a gaggle of bodyguards and his three precocious children, Prince Michael I (11), Paris (ten) and Prince Michael II (six).

He is almost always in a wheelchair, wearing a bizarre outfit [Note: pajama and tux jacket outfit to the right], and so frail he appears to be at death's door.

Meanwhile, his record-breaking career seems a thing of the past. From all accounts, he is not motivated to do anything. He has no real plans for the future and is deeply in debt.

Happy 50th, indeed. The article's interesting, written by J Randy Taraborrelli, who's written three best sellers about him and claims to have "reported more on Jackson in the past 30 years than anyone else," and its pins a pretty compelling story: "Alone in his madness, he became gradually weirder, and no one seemed to care." Something more tangible: He had to default on Neverland ranch. Anyway, how about that picture, which we're told were rendered by "an expert" and depicts what Jackson would've looked like if he'd let his face age naturally:

 

True, it's difficult to tell the difference because he's not wearing the same shirt in each picture. You can read the rest of the article and look at more MJ photos at the Daily Mail. Hopefully nobody plays him any of the Thriller 25 remakes. They'd only increase his despondence: "Beat It '08" quite literally.

Posted at 9:44 AM by brandon
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11 Comments

x x dot dot, now i need the cooties shot.

Posted by: grace6697 profile link at 08/29/08 9:58 AM  | Reply
Score = -2 Vote up Vote down

You are such a worthless troll.

Posted by: gah  in reply to grace6697's comment at 08/29/08 10:30 AM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

America needs weird Michael. If he looked like that today, than no respectable hipster would admit to liking any of his records. And that would be a tragedy far worse than the alleged kanoodling of any drunk stranger-kids.

Posted by: JL at 08/29/08 10:37 AM  | Reply
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Doesn't look a day over alien.

Posted by: Chadams at 08/29/08 11:21 AM  | Reply
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That tuxedo jacket/pajamas/huge sunglasses ensemble looks like something Kurt Cobain would've worn.

Posted by: Adam at 08/29/08 11:47 AM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

except he'd wear converse, not weejuns.

Posted by: Vista Underground  in reply to Adam's comment at 08/29/08 12:08 PM  | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

So, he'd look kind of like Alfonso Ribeiro?

Posted by: tk. profile link at 08/29/08 12:28 PM  | Reply
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eixxjOKFEoo

Posted by: Johnnyboy  in reply to tk.'s comment at 08/30/08 4:37 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

He spoke to ABC
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26457574/
"The best is yet to come!"

Posted by: Scott profile link at 08/29/08 1:38 PM  | Reply
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Hard not to feel bad for the guy. Kind of a reverse fat Elvis.

Posted by: nandorocker at 03/05/09 3:16 PM  | Reply
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man, just the other day i was pondering michaels disappearance from the scutiny of vh1 and south park episodes

Posted by: Lochness profile link at 03/06/09 2:26 AM  | Reply
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