Hello
Thanks to Bob, I can't get the image of clay Lionel Richie out of my head. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout, right? The awesomely, awesomely bad video for "Hello"? Here's what Bob had to say about this masterpiece after it popped up on VH1 Classic the other day:
JACKPOT! Best. Video. Ever. In case you haven't seen it, Lionel Richie plays a teacher that stalks one of his students who happens to blind. Now, if you ask me, that's just lazy. Who couldn't stalk a blind person? You don't even have to hide! But anyway, Lionel spends the entire video following her around and singing "Hellooooo.... Is it me you're looking for?" which is kind of fucked up if you think about it. If I did that to a blind girl people would call me 'evil' and say I was going to hell. "Hey, Blind Girl! Is it me you're looking for?" What's romantic about that? So Lionel stalks her for the entire video, and then, at the end, we get the best payoff ever. The blind girl happens to be an expert sculptor. She calls Lionel into the art room to show him the sculpture she's been working on and says, "This is how I see you." She rotates the bust around and there it is... Patrick Ewing.I had to thank Bob right away for bringing the video back into my consciousness.
Stereogum: he's got the funniest head in the worldWait, maybe you're not finding it as funny as I am. Perhaps visual aids would help?
Bob: its like a football with a jeri curl
Stereogum: the best part is when he sings into the phone "helloooooooo"
Bob: i like how he's singing right in her face but she has no clue, because you know, she's blind
See him stalking his blind student? Creepy.
Every breath you take, every move you make... Nice sweater.
He even follows her to dance class. Shouldn't she be dancing on the ceiling?
Better.
He calls her at home. It's the '80s so she doesn't have Caller ID.
"Hel-loooooooooooo."
"Is this Billy Ocean! It's Billy Ocean isn't it?!"
"No no no. It's Professor Richie."
"Oh."
Alas, she falls for him.
"Hi. I have a surprise for you."
"Hel-loooooooooooo. It's beautiful."
"No, you're beautiful. Although I do have blindness of the eyes."
THE END.
See, wasn't that fun? If you're still intrigued watch the full video.
Fun fact: TODAY marks the twentieth anniversary of the "We Are the World" recording session, As I'm sure you remember, Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson composed the USA For Africa ballad and 43 big-name musicans and Dan Akroyd gathered in Quincy Jones' basement to record it. The single raised millions of dollars for famine relief (and won Grammys for Song and Record Of The Year). You can check out photos and the music video here or pick up the two DVD set (benefitting tsunami victims) on 2/1. I always found the video so much fun to watch. All the celebs turned on their most extreme personalities because each person only got to sing a line or two. So Cyndi Lauper is so unusual, Bruce Springsteen gets all super Springsteen-y, and Michael Jackson is like, "I'm so famous I won't even be in the same room with you people." You know Kenny Loggins was all, "Quinnnnnnnncy, how come Bruce gets like, ten lines and I don't have ONE?"
Posted at 5:56 PM
Tags: Lionel Richie
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They should make that thing in a Chia-Pet version.
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Damn it Scott! I can't stop laughing/crying and now my boss is giving me the stink eye...
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"He even follows her to dance class. Shouldn't she be dancing on the ceiling? Better."
genius!
has anyone seen the Starburst commercial where a guy creates a sculpture of a girl made from Starbursts while this song is playing in the background? also genius.
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"...celebs turned on their most extreme personalities..."
And just like in his band, John Oates appears for like a millisecond and does nothing. This was his last sighting, I'm sure of it.
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>>> I had to thank Bob right away for bringing the video back into my consciousness.
Err umm.. aren't you somehow involved with Best Week Ever? If so, plz call your boss @ VH1 and ask for the clip from I Love (insert year) that spent an entire 35 seconds on this very topic. Then, take a look at his commentary and the pictures you posted. Somehow, internet dragged those 35 seconds out to be an entire minute of reading recycled material. Thanks a lot dude, where am I gonna get another 25 seconds to waste now???
-Prickly Pete
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It's the best stalker song/video ever. But the starburst commercial out now rules. I laughed my ass off at it.
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Was this video made before or after Lionel's wife beat the shit out of him?
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i had a friend who had this song on his answering machine "hello...is it me you're looking for?" i think thats funny.
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Heh, nice one. They had interesting ideas in the 80s.
And hmmm, where did you get the screencaps from, Scott? Cool that you managed to find them. They're originally taken from a TV channel here (in Singapore) called TV Works, which was later renamed Channel i. And which subsequently closed down earlier this year.
(And it's not because of Lionel Richie.)
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Oh, man. That "We Are The World" video brought back a huge wave of nostalgia. I'm showing my age, though; I can't recognize half the people in that video. Can anyone name the individual singers in order?
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>>>has anyone seen the Starburst commercial where a guy creates a sculpture of a girl made from Starbursts while this song is playing in the background? also genius.<<<
Dear God I about died laughing when I saw that commmercial.
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i giggled. i laughed out loud. and then the pee came. so thanks.
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thank you so much. that brought a pleasant laugh to an otherwise forgetable day.
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Uh, what good would caller ID be to her? She is still blind at that point, right?
I suppose it could be a loud computerized voice that says "Li-o-nel Ritch-ie!!!"
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God, this song brings back memories. I learned last summer when I went to Vietnam that some people really Lionel Richie, especially in karaoke bars. Since I was the American, they always wanted me to sing this.
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I loved the commentary to pieces. Bless you.
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"blindness of the eyes" is my favorite. phrase. ever.
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"Is this Billy Ocean???" LOL
OMG I hate Billy Ocean, his song would also play on the radio during the bus ride to middle school. "Caribbean Queen" would ruin my entire day.
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Dammit, Scott, in one post you managed to bring up not only water I was drinking (right through my nose) but then a whole flood of memories. Awesome, awesome post.
I remember being between 6 and 8 years old and seeing both these videos. "Hello" was one of the first songs I learned on piano (my mom was/is a big fan). And holy shit, that IS Patrick Ewing! Amazing.
As for "We Are The World," I remember my mom taping the documentary (with Jane Fonda narrating) off of HBO way back when. Today is the first time I've seen the video since maybe 1986. I still remember being a kid and wondering:
1) if Bruce Springsteen was passing a kidney stone;
2) Who the whiny, unintelligible guy was (Bob Dylan);
3) Why the Pointer Sisters got gypped on vocals;
4) Why the fuck Dan Akroyd was invited
Like I said, a flood of memories. Thanks so much for posting this.
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My baby is asleep in the other room, and I'm trying not to laugh out loud. Damnit! You people are hilarious.
OMG -- a football with Jheri Curl.
And the girl's name in the video was "Laura" ...not that that matters, but I'm just scured I remember.
Starburst commercial -- CLASSIC! I wonder how many young kids who don't have a clue what it's referencing think about it?
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I've just recently found your website. I wrote the name of the site on my hand &today I woke up with stereogum all over my face. How lovely<3.
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Hey, so I am looking for bands to play at a charity concert that would benfit the Tsuanmi victims that my theater/choir department are hosting. We are located in Northern Orange County and have a venue that hold 900 booked for the 28 and 29 of April. Interested? Or know of a band that would be? e-mail me at Jess4Mc7@aol.com
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Gum, were you on tina when you wrote this post? It just reads so...speedy.
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thanks for the low & hot hot heat mp3's
and hilarious lionel richie moments as well.
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Love the "We Are The World" video! How did they let Cyndi wail like that? Anyone notice Dionne Warwick shaking her head while Tina sang as in "Look at that tramp". Love the sunglasses Ruth Pointer's wearing. Then poor Kim Carnes adding her one 1/2 second line "When weeee" after Cyndi wails out her annoying line!
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Love the "We Are The World" video! How did they let Cyndi wail like that? Anyone notice Dionne Warwick shaking her head while Tina sang as in "Look at that tramp". Love the sunglasses Ruth Pointer's wearing. Then poor Kim Carnes adding her one 1/2 second line "When weeee" after Cyndi wails out her annoying line!
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what the crap is that skit about? that's the part i REALLY cant figure out... the brooklyn paramount was in , er, brooklyn and the albee was in cincinnati...? anyway...
the creepiest part: IS SHE IN FREAKIN HIGH SCHOOL?!
too bad she cant read. she missed all the "lionel richie wife beater" headlines.
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That's one long fucking song.
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Middle of the road
Man it stank
Let's run over Lionel Richie with a tank
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This is bringing back bad memories of my creepy high school French teacher who used to get all sweaty conjugating verbs. That, coupled with Lionel's big head, is going to give me nightmares all night. *shudder*
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Dan Akroyd, I bet he was invited because Dionne loved the Blues Bros.
And everytime I watch this video I get a shiver in my spine. Something makes it extra creepy and nonsensical on the fact he picks up the phone sings "hello, is it me you're looking for" at a late hour and then hangs up the phone.
I know I'd be sleeping with a gun that night if that happened.
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Hahaha, I can't stop laughing. Thought I was the only one who thought it was creepy and a little rich(ie) to say that to a blind girl.
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Doesn't that girl go to any real classes? I saw drama, ballet, sculpture, and a single chemistry class.
Oh, and ewww.
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I totally didn't know about that part in the very beginning... its so clear the lionel is tony billy boy... and is a prisoner, a prisoner of Blind Girl's love. He's so fucked up from her lovin' he doesn't even know the brooklyn paramont is gone man. Gone. Can you hear it? the tapping? She tap, taps her walking stick. Her walking stick of love.
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Thanks so much, stereogum, for finally giving my favorite video the attention it deserves. I've been referencing it for years and only a handful of people know what the hell i'm talking about.
I think she's college, not high school, unless it's like a fame high school... But it's still creepy...
Did anybody notice "Laura" is the same chick from the "Thriller" video? That chick really cornered the market in visionary-narrative 80's videos.
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DUDE! I've been reading your site for a while now and I have always been a fan. But that "HELLOOO" post was just top notch! Dying at work and decided to forward it on to all my friends who LOVED it. Here are some of their comments:
"fucking hysterical. I wonder if the producer of the video was a comedian. the funniest part definitely is when he sings "hell-ooooooooo" into the phone. piss in your pants funny. laugh so hard your stomach hurts...and that ,my friend, is the ultimate in funny"
"this is better than a margartia on a friday afternoon"
"t's like a football with a jeri curl....ha ha! this is too funny! Thanks--perfect for fri-afternoon hijinks!"
So I propose more comedy like this!
ps.have you seen the video for Diana Ross's song "MUSCLES" on vh1 classic. You MUST check it out. I peed my pants watching it...and peeing in your pants is of course the coolest!
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OMG! why oh why am i seeing pics of lionel richie!! oh god that just gave me one humungous 80's flashback...UGH! he's an ugly fucking dude!!! ...*throwing up in my throat***
...enough...blahhhh..im going to get some more coffee..
and then to mention billy ocean..
**shudder**
i cant take it.
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wasn't this featured on VH1's awesomely bad videos?
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hello was my first 45
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It seems that somehow Stevie Wonder could have creatively been worked into this whole deal...
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The plaster head used in the video was apparently ran over by a truck,directly after the shoot...maybe the truck driver got confused.
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Oh my goddness! I thought I was going to die laughing too. Whoever made that commerical is my personal hero. :) Thanks so much for knowing the song guys!
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p.s.- ifanyone lives in the UK, check out Channel 4's 100 Greatest Pop Videos tonight- it's in there and it has a recreation of that sculpture of awesome genius. As in reallyfuckinggood...
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Does anyone have the video for the Hello Starburst commerical spoof? If you have it can you please send it to me!!! at heathershawhan@yahoo.com. I would be forever thankful
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Man, that has got to be the funniest shit I have ever read/seen.
Thanks!
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I can't find the video anywhere online... but it's hilarious! If anyone finds it, could they let me know by either posting a link or emailing it to me at mateo999@mindspring.com
Thanks
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Hey, I was just browsing through and I have to say your commentary is awesome! The football with a Jheri curl line had me floored! Anyway, I frequent a local EZBoard that's basically just myself, my boyfriend and our other friends and we had a thread about the Starburst commercial and then of course the realization of what it was spoofing. I'm honestly linking everyone I know to this page, but a friend of mine pulled up a site where people attempted to make THEIR OWN LIONEL RICHIE HEAD! http://www.macalester.edu/~fines/lionel/
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ok... i heard a song that has like a tidbit of Lionel Richies 'hello' song in it. It has an R&B feel to it... its a duet between a guy and gal. If i remember correctly they are on the phone and he's trying to convince her to stay with him and at some point shes really quiet and hes like 'hello are you there?' i have been trying to figure out who in the world sings this song... i thought it was a new song but its not, all i can figure out is that it came out a couple of years ago... does any know who the artist is???
email me at bizosd@cooley.edu please. TKS!
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http://www.starburst.com/advertising.jsp
Starburst video online
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you should make it a little bit funnier .and make
the picture a little brighter.and make it talk.
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She is blind to his self-importance but catches on and tries to give him a subtle hint by portraying him as a neanderthal via a sculptural medium. Eventually she dumps him for a man with a weak chin, but it's ok because he was about to dump HER for a girl with bigger hair. Eventually his career takes a plummet and he ends up selling jerry curl on the sidewalk, a broken husk of a crooning collegic troubador. Martha Quinn still sends him Christmas Cards...
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OUTRAGEOUS!
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howling with laughter. thank you. i had forgotten all about that fucked-up video but you've brought it all back to me now.
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Oh how me and my friend laughed, for years we said the clay model the girl makes of him looked like Burt Renalds... imagine the laughter when at the end of the video we found out the Lionel's character is called Mr Renalds :) Genius!
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I don't know about the sculpture looking like Patrick Ewing. We always used to laugh when it was unveiled. "I have something to show you..."..."Oh great, a clay head that looks like Burt Reynolds! Marvellous!!". Which was funny on it's own, but then one day we actually listened to the dialogue in the video one day. And just before the sculpture scene, a kid runs in and shouts to Lionel: "Mr Reynolds! There's something going on in the sculpture class, you'd better check it out". How random! Oh how we laughed!! :-)
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Has anyone noticed that when he phones her she is in bed with the bedside lamp on? Why would a person with blindness of the eyes have a light on?
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why are you saying 'blindness of the eyes'- where else are they going to have blindness!
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highly amusing. I agree, Lionel is a scary stalker and would surely be arrested for this behaviour today. However I am very keen to discover the whereabouts of the clay 'Patrick Duffy'. I join a sculpture class of my own in Sept and would be so proud if I could impress my fellow sculptures with this information. Does anyone know? Where is Lionel Richies head?
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I did a homage check it out
http://www.threadless.com/submission/57230/Hello_(is_it_me_your_looking_for)
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hello
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hi
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really funny :) my mood's up
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Where can i find English Mp3 songs in the net for free
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"hellooooooooooooooooooo"? ive just pissed myself laughing. bravo !!! lol
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Absolutely loved it mate - genius!!
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fdsdfsfds
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"Aww, if you make me cry anymore, you'll fog up my helmet."
-- "Visionaries" cartoon
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Very good site. Thanks!
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Very good site. Thanks.
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Even if she did have caller ID she wouldn't be able to read it.... she is blind
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Hi guys,
ive been looking for the full version of this song to download(talking included)....any ideas to where i can find it?ye can email me at andrew.kelly4@mail.dcu.ie. Thanks
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I believe lionel Richie,is a great musician,very homble and stable.i admire his ways and morals as to other artist.
i listen to lionel richie since i was 5 years old in Cameroon West Africa.and will attend his concert and see him for the first time in my entire life in Oslo Norway.
Lionel,you are my hero,i got a gift for you.
Prince Gilbert Soba.
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Not much on my mind lately. My life's been completely boring these days. I've just been hanging out not getting anything done. So it goes.
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The best song in my music world. thanks Lionel Richie.
Regards
Ibrahim, Dhaka, Bangladesh
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This is the best song in the world. I cannot stop listenig to it:))))- good work :))
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eu amo lionel,descobrir q sou apaixonada por elee a minha vida sem ele nao tem sentido,na verdade eu quero me casar com ele e ser feliz pra sempre.
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