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May 27, 2005

I Will Fix You Lindsay Lohan

Here we find our hero multitasking like nobody's business. Gossip if you must, but remember this is actually the preferred stance for most bloggers.

L. Lo's totally marrying a hapless yokel by year end. I cannot wait for the girl's first Letter Of Truth.

UPDATE: Found her blog.

Posted at 10:13 AM




87 Comments

wow.

Posted by: Phoebe at 05/27/05 10:32 AM | Reply
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Oh my God. Does she have a tapeworm?

Posted by: jerry at 05/27/05 10:35 AM | Reply
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and just think, only a few months ago she seemed eminently fuckable.

Posted by: x. at 05/27/05 10:35 AM | Reply
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Her undies look like they were Photoshopped on.

Posted by: Tequila Red at 05/27/05 10:37 AM | Reply
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Am I the only one who actually finds this really sad? Build 'em up, knock 'em down.

Posted by: Jennifer at 05/27/05 10:41 AM | Reply
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You're not the only one Jennifer. And to think, she's not even 20 yet. Very sad. Maybe she should quit smoking, that'll make her gain about 10lbs. Much needed.

Posted by: Melissa at 05/27/05 10:46 AM | Reply
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meh, girls like this willing to do this to themselves seem to be a dime a dozen. in six months it will be someone else.

Posted by: jt at 05/27/05 10:56 AM | Reply
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I wonder if she's reading stereogum..

Posted by: brian at 05/27/05 10:59 AM | Reply
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and just last night i watched her first SNL appearance.
the harry potter skit.. boioioioioing.

what the hell are you doing lindsay?

Posted by: Ben at 05/27/05 11:04 AM | Reply
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I personally think gain some weight die your hair back dark or either get a tan because the blonde locks are awful on you

Posted by: jill at 05/27/05 11:08 AM | Reply
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Oh My God that's awful.

Posted by: Marvkus at 05/27/05 11:10 AM | Reply
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Tweety bird?

Posted by: Jooly at 05/27/05 11:10 AM | Reply
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just a thought: would we all would be saying she looks so awful if this was what she looked like when she first rose to fame (in otherwords, if we'd never seen the more voluptuous lindsay...)

Posted by: jen at 05/27/05 11:12 AM | Reply
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She looks icky.

Posted by: Flash at 05/27/05 11:14 AM | Reply
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nice Powerbook technique however.

Posted by: Funtime Ben at 05/27/05 11:24 AM | Reply
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I hate pop culture. I know I shouldn't care. But this does, indeed make me sad.

Posted by: Billy K at 05/27/05 11:28 AM | Reply
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The heroin chic look is so unflattering and so 1997, plus her head it´s to big for her body.

Posted by: Gabi at 05/27/05 11:29 AM | Reply
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Cigarette diet sweeps nation!

Posted by: Niemster at 05/27/05 11:38 AM | Reply
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LL and Frankie Muniz, separated at birth? if you get your hair dyed lighter, aren't you supposed to adjust the eyebrows accordingly?

Posted by: jj at 05/27/05 11:43 AM | Reply
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Fried never looked so good.

Posted by: mindi at 05/27/05 11:55 AM | Reply
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you know, this same thing happened with christina ricci. under eighteen hot and untouchable, over eighteen skinny and out of proportion. of course, christina has that massive forehead to deflect criticism with. what could lindsay use?

Posted by: matthew at 05/27/05 11:58 AM | Reply
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I think she good, personally. i guess it's safe to say "they" are real, afterall.

Posted by: jt at 05/27/05 12:05 PM | Reply
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not so fast JT...remember when she went into the hospital for "exhaustion"? she came out with no boobs.

coke does that to ya...

Posted by: MissNee at 05/27/05 12:10 PM | Reply
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Lindsay had her breast implants out around the time she was hospitalized for "exhaustion". Next time you see a rear shot of her, however, take a good look - reliable sources say Hohan now has implants in her butt, no fooling.

It's sad that her Mom looks way hotter than she does.

Posted by: carlie at 05/27/05 12:29 PM | Reply
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OMG. She looks terrible.

And honey, ciggies are like, so not you.

Posted by: Mich at 05/27/05 12:34 PM | Reply
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it looks photoshopped, the cig is definitely fake. if she hadn't dropped so many lb's drastically i'd say she looks good. she isn't mk olson skinny. she has some muscle.

Posted by: so what at 05/27/05 12:47 PM | Reply
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La Bella Vita (read: ass shot)

Posted by: stereogum at 05/27/05 12:59 PM | Reply
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Is that lara flynn boyle?

Posted by: noah at 05/27/05 1:13 PM | Reply
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she has some muscle.

what the fuck are you talking about? just because someone's flesh has wasted away to the point that you can see the outline of the tissue underneath does NOT mean that it's muscle

Posted by: Erin at 05/27/05 1:30 PM | Reply
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egad. at least she's using a mac.

Posted by: mr g at 05/27/05 1:31 PM | Reply
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damn... she is SO FINE.

Posted by: Irish Mike at 05/27/05 1:32 PM | Reply
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that looks like britney behind her...

Posted by: melina at 05/27/05 1:44 PM | Reply
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Yo, check the titties behind her though. Who's that?

Posted by: Criminal Carl at 05/27/05 1:51 PM | Reply
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She could gain some pounds, but I think she was really talented and HOT on snl..Especially the Italian mob skit. It's gotta be hard in the limelight, though. I hate to have my picture taken at birthday parties. Can't imagine being stared at, all the time, everywhere.

Posted by: FB at 05/27/05 2:16 PM | Reply
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Yikes! That butt shot of her doesn't look like she had anything done. However, I'm told that this Blind Vice's column is all about Hohan (sorry for the cut-and-paste job, but for some reason, I'm unable to post a link).

Sex, sex, sex. Is that all we mortals think about?

Well, I'm single (dating eternally), and, I answer oui to the above. But, then there's my bestest girlfriend, hitched for over a decade. Ditto on the doing-it brain. Or take my gray, gruff editor (straight), who's also married and doing the white-picket fence thang. He, too, thinks of little else. Or, so it would seem from his dribbling mouth after he edits these damn Vices.

Take a breather this week, bossman, this one's about a gal who prefers to sniff, not suck, her candy.





Morgan Mayhem is the doll. Such a cutie-tamootie, she's got charm pouring out of her sweet little dimples--not to mention that great ass of hers. Unfortunately, M.'s well-photographed behind is oddly altered as of late.

Surgery? Or just a high-colonic and new cheek-bones sucked and inserted at one of those posh 'n' creepy Bev Hills "hospitals?" Regardless, M2 has taken upon herself to use this time to remove her booby implants. Sorta like getting a new haircut when one gets a face-lift, right? Not that I would know, just what I've heard, 'course.

Oh, crap, I hate it when these perfectly lovely babes start playing mix 'n' match with the bod-parts--so boring. I mean, come on, it's almost as predictable as getting hooked on drugs (really boring), 'cause everybody can see what's on the horizon for chicks who start doing the surgery thang too much: Lifetime movies with the likes of Faye Dunaway, right? Isn't that where you go when you start playing doc too much with your bod?

Besides, I thought M.M. had a much more mattress-worthy figure before she began altering it so.

Who cares how many dudes she was doing (she didn't). It was the ol' vicarious va-va-voom ride just watching M. strut her sex-ay stuff--especially with hunky regular beau Burr Ito.

But then again, this item isn't about sex, so never mind.

Posted by: carlie at 05/27/05 2:24 PM | Reply
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And I should add, the above cut-and-paste job is from Ted Casablanca's "The Awful Truth", in the Blind Vice section from week before last.

Posted by: carlie at 05/27/05 2:25 PM | Reply
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glad to see holocaust-chic is back in.

more food for the rest of us.

Posted by: dave at 05/27/05 3:36 PM | Reply
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I want her old bod back. God she was hot in Mean Girls. If I wanted the Cameron Diaz/Demi Moore skinny surf muscle bod I'd be hot for them. Where is my busty redhead? I was gonna go gay for her...

Posted by: bonnieb at 05/27/05 4:25 PM | Reply
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Did you guys check out that picture of her on Pink is the New Blog where she looks like a homeless crack whore?

http://trent.blogspot.com/2005/05/miss-u-much.html

Right below the Federline and Bratz doll pics.

Posted by: The 15-Minute Hipster at 05/27/05 5:18 PM | Reply
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Me too I want the old Lindsay back...she was way hotter, back in the days...tanned, curvy, sexy, spicy...I don't like her new anorexic surfer figure. She had evertything going on for her(a nice pair of boobs, a healthy glow, dark full hair) so why did she have to ruin her looks so badly. She now looks like a pale ghost....

Posted by: tess at 05/27/05 5:36 PM | Reply
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i think we would have interesting children.

Posted by: anton alfred newcombe at 05/27/05 8:13 PM | Reply
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sickly sickly sickly

Posted by: Raul at 05/27/05 8:29 PM | Reply
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girl needs some help. like, yesterday.

Posted by: sweetney at 05/27/05 10:28 PM | Reply
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what u ppl actually believe this shit go to llrocks.com and get a membership and ull find that ain her she has blond hair not red and this was 11 hours ago from 10:50 pm friday night so if u believe this u r very gullable.

Posted by: Matt at 05/28/05 12:00 AM | Reply
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Uh...Matt? What?

I'm feeling really upset. SHE'S GOING TO DROP THE MAC! Like someone said though, atleast it IS a Mac....

Posted by: Alex at 05/28/05 12:19 AM | Reply
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ewwwww.

Posted by: j. locke at 05/28/05 1:14 AM | Reply
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the only reason she looks muscular is because they're the only bit of her that hasn't wasted away yet. don't worry, though, they'll have their chance soon enough.

Posted by: holyshit at 05/28/05 12:22 PM | Reply
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someone give this girl a few milkshakes!! poor baby is very sick..

Posted by: rachel at 05/28/05 12:48 PM | Reply
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This isn't Lindsay she has blond hair and if u watched saterday night live last week u'll find she is not that skinny and her boobs are too SMALL they're like thirty times bigger than that. people have to start knowing their facts before they gossip.

Posted by: Matt at 05/28/05 4:58 PM | Reply
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Not Lindsay? Photoshopped?

Not work-safe: http://www.dumpstersluts.com/blogfill/2005/05/20050527/lindsay-lohan/

Posted by: zeppelin at 05/28/05 5:41 PM | Reply
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who would have thought that under her fake tan she was so, so white.

Posted by: star6 at 05/28/05 11:55 PM | Reply
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i mean i gotta admit even thought i hate lindsay and all but she looked way way better back with Mean girls, i mean she had a figure and her hair was soo much better with the redhead, now she looks like a gohst with that blonde hair and that skinny figure of hers (EWW)

srry lindsay (even though we r related very very far away i just cant bear looking at u ne more)

Posted by: mimi lohan at 05/29/05 12:58 PM | Reply
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Do u people still believe this is her? IF so u need to check ur facts.

Posted by: Matt at 05/29/05 5:18 PM | Reply
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I'd still fuck it. But not nearly as hard.

Posted by: Nick at 05/29/05 8:46 PM | Reply
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hahaha i would go gay for lindsay's mom too!

Posted by: ellen at 05/29/05 9:47 PM | Reply
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If u think this is Lindsay ur so dumb I'v personaly met her and this aint even close to her like i said before her boobs r tooo small.

Posted by: Matt at 05/29/05 11:38 PM | Reply
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Hey Matt, obviously "u" did not "c" her on Saturday Night Live recently. She's scary-skinny now. Those are Mischa Barton arms, Lindsay!

Posted by: backleg at 05/30/05 1:05 PM | Reply
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Actuaaly i did C saterdaynight live the only reason i believe this is because her BOOBS R WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TOOOOOOOOOO SMALL her boobs r like thirty times bigger than this pictures shows think about it

plus ive actually met her.

Posted by: Matt at 05/30/05 2:11 PM | Reply
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so the auscwhitz shiek is back

Posted by: Mancat at 05/30/05 6:07 PM | Reply
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Man, oh man. She's aged 10 years in a few months. Why aren't Fey, Dratch, and Poehler helping her out.

Posted by: Jack at 05/31/05 2:32 AM | Reply
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Matt, we get it....you stare at her boobs way too much, therefore you think you've met them. Hey- did you notice her hair is different too? Can't mistake that "I really have red hair but now I'm blonde" look. And next time, can you type so it can be read? What are you, 13?

Posted by: Melissa at 05/31/05 9:25 AM | Reply
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I THINK SHE IS SO HOT. SHE HAS TO LOSE 5 MORE TO MAKE HER SUPER HOT AND FUCKABLE.

I HOPE SHE DOESN'T HAVE AN STD!


A BLONDE, MAC-KNOWLEDGABLE, SLIM GAL IS SMOKIN!

Posted by: mmm at 05/31/05 10:05 AM | Reply
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Funny that two people made a joke saying "holocaust chic" or "auschwitz chic". Is that a term now?

I can't be the only one to whom this entire thread and its subject are terrifying and depressing. Celebrities are more like cattle than even most Americans. Then again, I grew up on a farm with cows, so I guess I shouldn't find them so objectionable. Can't we care about something a least marginally less meaningless?

Posted by: jed2 at 05/31/05 10:22 AM | Reply
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Lohan BEFORE and AFTER
You guys are gonna love this.

Posted by: stereogum at 05/31/05 12:01 PM | Reply
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Scott, you're corroding our spiritual foundations.

Wow, she did look a lot better. I mean, I don't care or nothin'.

Posted by: jed2 at 05/31/05 12:27 PM | Reply
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Damn, I used to be a fan. She always looked good before. Lindsay, stop hanging with the other blonde bimbos, it's making u look sad. You are going downhill. Another child actress gone bad.

Posted by: maria at 05/31/05 1:02 PM | Reply
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Holy crap. I actually almost liked her, despite everything, until she started purging. Please, this is so ridiculous...I can't comprehend why they would think it's even remotely sexy/good-looking.

Posted by: Reli at 05/31/05 1:45 PM | Reply
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Her breast look a lot better after...
Changing subject WTF is wrong with Tom Cruise? I think the man just lost his mind. I think he and Kate are adorable together but all the cientology crap going on, my friend had depression and if she didnt take that medication she probably be dead by now. Tom Cruise could use some treatment he is starting to soud like jacko!

Posted by: Gabi at 05/31/05 3:40 PM | Reply
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OK no i dont stare at her boobs but all i am saying is well u know so i wont say it and i'v personally met her like 4 days after her snl appearence 2 weeks ago and i not convinced this is her plus this a good posistion for Those people that just try to get people to turn against famous people.

If u want to know why i dont think this is her for another reasion go to llrocks.com and click on pictures and you'll will get resent fotos of her.

Posted by: Matt at 06/01/05 9:40 PM | Reply
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eww what the hell... she needs to gain weight before she turns into mary kate olson!

Posted by: that grl at 06/05/05 8:45 PM | Reply
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Someone give this poor girl a burger.

Either that, or a rehab - not trying to start rumors here, but shit - no one gets that skinny without injesting some sort of stuff.

Posted by: jamehec at 06/11/05 4:48 PM | Reply
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u think this has something to do with her hangin out with paris, nichole..tara...i mean she was total opposite of them, very curvy, red hair..then u hear about tara getting breast implants and paris thinkin about gettin them, i mean they may have said some things to her out of jealousy or somethin hell shes only 18, she was fine as hell! now she be lookin like shes tryin to look like paris or somethin and they be tellin her she lookin good! wtf, man i dont know somthin aint right here

Posted by: shitswho at 06/17/05 2:16 AM | Reply
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man i dont know wut my cuzin matt wuz thinking this is so Lindsay its horrible this is probably why she went to the hospital during the filming of hurbie fully loaded

Posted by: Matthew at 06/25/05 1:22 AM | Reply
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omg she looks sooooo fat in this pic i dont like thi pic at al shes not that fat in person

Posted by: Anly at 04/16/07 6:51 PM | Reply
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bh'yy eat some food for god's sake :| and put on some clothes so we can't see your ugly boney ass body everywhere! wouldn't hurt ya to go to mcdonald's somewhere cuz obviously you're not eating anything elsewhere!

Posted by: Amanda at 05/18/07 8:11 PM | Reply
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0k fat girls, stop it she looks great, please stop eating and make some work, she is so hooooooooooooot!!

Posted by: crish at 06/02/07 3:48 PM | Reply
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Well, i think she's great!!! I think u r all jealous.... She is as thin as she should be so get over it and stop messing around with her chest...!!! why do you care so much if she has implants or not ?? Who cares ??I believe she looks beautiful and her outfit every time she goes out is totally awesome..Don't fool yourselves!! A lot of u wish to look like her!!!

Posted by: zef_greece at 06/05/07 10:57 AM | Reply
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wooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...........

Posted by: zerna at 06/07/07 3:04 AM | Reply
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They are all the same!"!!! they think they are so pretty and beautiful when they stop eating. but she has gone to far. it´s not nice, people are going to hurt her just when they are giving her a hug. I mean start to eat - start to work out. because thats hot when somebody is fit and fresh(not skinny and look lika a skelletton.)

Posted by: Mea at 06/09/07 6:43 PM | Reply
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i think that the person behins her looks soooo choooonggg yeh blad she ain'tt even reppin in her bikini or wateva jeeeeees man getta burger king alrite?! bugers yeh? yum yum..............ain't is funny ey


MC smalley yeah that's ma name gna go wit the flow gna play the game, gna roll the dice once or twice pushing nd a feeling rite u got me.....got me gooooood bin a bad boi yeh yeh!!!!!!

u like ma MC get me a job!

i sleep in a cardboard box which cost me my life

c'mon god smite me all mighty smiter

i LOVE GOD he is soooooo cooool unlike lindsey lohan ahahahahahahaha


inittttttttttttttttttttttttt


i love you guys lets have some bum fun in my tum tum

yeh yeh:P

we all luv da wifey colours yeh yeh u americans love mc'in wait u dnt kno wat it is yeh?

ok cya u bugers catch u at the gym

yeh eyh

Posted by: healy georgie porgy and rebekah at 06/14/07 10:09 AM | Reply
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as if you smoke is so wrong well if you want to kill your self and not live long well you might as well 'kill your self kill your self go on kill your self ' judt like it says on timlands alubm lol

Posted by: ema at 07/04/07 11:52 AM | Reply
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She is a really pretty girl in her films like mean girls, herbie, freaky friday etc. But she has a skeleton body, which is awful and she smokes, which doesn't do anithing for her. She also takes drugs, why?, just why?

Posted by: Lois at 07/23/07 1:51 PM | Reply
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turn her over and she looks exactly like any other 10 year old little boy

Posted by: alan dziwulski at 07/24/07 3:20 PM | Reply
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ella es como toda una diva lindsay lohan lo malo esk ta en la droga
buneo cuidense
no se el ingles solo se
good bye

Posted by: javier andrea at 07/31/07 12:22 AM | Reply
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im prettty sure that some people are wayyy skinnier than that.
yer, shes lost weight,
coz she was a lot more curvy before.
but come on,
some people are born with that kind of weight!
just coz shes slimmed down doesnt mean shes anorexic.

some celebrities are wayy skinnier than that but they dont get attention because they have always been slim.

but the ciggies are another thing though...

Posted by: cho cho at 08/19/07 12:02 AM | Reply
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"but shit - no one gets that skinny without injesting some sort of stuff."


whoever said that is a dumb shit who is probably fat and just wishes they were as skinny as her!

shes not like mk olsen,
just coz shes slimmed down doesnt mean shes gonna die tomorrow from anorexia.

who are you people?


lazy fat people who sit on the computer all day wishing they were skinny?

and im sure that when she wears make up she still looks gorgeous and since when do any of you think your a sex god without any makeup and wet hair?

Posted by: cho cho at 08/19/07 12:10 AM | Reply
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OMFG SHE'S UNDERWEIGHT, get over it. it's her body. you all are so quick to criticize every little thing about her. how about you post pictures of yourselves so we can all say what's wrong with you, and how fat or annorexic you look?

Posted by: tanyashmanya at 08/30/07 10:55 PM | Reply
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