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July 27, 2006

Is That A FireCrotch In Your Bikini Or Are You Just Suffering From Heat Stroke?

The Superficial gives us nightmares...

PART ONE
"Lindsay Lohan attended Jeremy Piven's birthday on Sunday and felt it necessary to change into no less than three different outfits - two of which were bikinis. I could understand this if it was her own birthday or her wedding or any other event where she was the guest of honor, but this was somebody else's birthday. Who brings multiple bikinis to a party? What kind of person wakes up in the morning and thinks to themselves maybe they'll need a spare bikini? I guess the same kind of person who poses for pictures like they're at a softcore photoshoot even though they're just hanging out at somebody's house."

PART TWO
"I wasn't sure if I should post these or not but I couldn't justify not putting up pictures of Lindsay Lohan bending over in a bikini. You get pictures of Lindsay Lohan bending over in a bikini in your email and you put them up. Simple as that. You don't question it. It'd be like waking up in the morning with a Ferrari in your garage and not taking it out for a drive. It just doesn't make any sense. So without any further ado I present more shots of Lindsay Lohan and her magical day at Jeremy Piven's birthday party."

Elsewhere, BWE.tv decodes Lohan's ongoing medical trauma:
“Dehydration” - too much booze.
“Exhaustion” - too much blow.
“Overheating” - too much booze and blow on the beach.

Posted at 12:23 AM
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18 Comments

The Superficial summaries on stereogum? Now I only need to visit one website!

Posted by: Some idiot at 07/27/06 1:17 AM | Reply
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ummm....2nd group of pics, bottom role...is she taking a dump in public? love the poses though, she's voguing...

Posted by: jason at 07/27/06 1:40 AM | Reply
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certified hottie

Posted by: pat at 07/27/06 2:39 AM | Reply
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Hello !

I wanted to say that it's very funny to read you from where i live : Belgium.

Your blog is really funny, with very good posts !

So lovely !

Best regards.

Cheers.

Reno

Posted by: reno at 07/27/06 3:16 AM | Reply
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its kind of funny to see her when she's not entirely dolled-up still trying to act like malibu barbie. she's not as fab as she thinks she is.

Posted by: stacey at 07/27/06 4:01 AM | Reply
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Hi,
I Found Absolutely FREE PlayBoy & PentHouse:
http://www.playmates-girls.com
http://www.oxpe.net
If I find something else I'll inform you.
Best Regards, Jenya

Posted by: yuriy at 07/27/06 5:13 AM | Reply
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it makes me so happy that jeremy piven is such a major player in hollywood now. THAT's how you know you've arrived

Posted by: marc at 07/27/06 8:14 AM | Reply
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If you concentrate hard enough, you can almost smell the cocaine when you look at that first set of pictures.

Posted by: Mark Swiderski at 07/27/06 8:27 AM | Reply
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I got a gummy off that first set of pictures... seriously: my mouth is still numb!

Posted by: Jack at 07/27/06 10:00 AM | Reply
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> it makes me so happy that jeremy piven is
> such a major player in hollywood now.
> THAT's how you know you've arrived

He arrived when he mashed Public Enemy with Elvis Costello!

Posted by: scott at 07/27/06 10:16 AM | Reply
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Who gives a shit? Your obsession with celebrity nonesense makes me not want to read stereogum. Talk about music you moron.

Posted by: James at 07/27/06 10:24 AM | Reply
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"What's so funny about... peace, peace, peace... love and under... peace, peace"

Posted by: Jon at 07/27/06 11:30 AM | Reply
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what kind of asshole walks around a party wearing a bikini? oh right...the cocacuckoo kind.

Posted by: Jennifer at 07/27/06 12:25 PM | Reply
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So did Piven hit it? What does everyone think?

Posted by: Special K at 07/27/06 1:23 PM | Reply
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he hit it with a whiffle ball bat

Posted by: Yay for Lindsay at 07/27/06 5:19 PM | Reply
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She has no ass at all, looks like some nice scabies though.

Posted by: OOOOH at 07/27/06 8:01 PM | Reply
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HE-HE-HELLO! YOU'RE ALL IGNORING THE ISSUE HERE, and the issue is that the bikini she's wearing is hideous! Ruffles?

I issue her three demerits. Just because Rachel Zoe lapses into drug comas from time to time is no excuse for sloppiness.

Posted by: Patrik at 08/01/06 1:43 PM | Reply
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^^^ Patrik is not tooo gay huh?

Posted by: Fagtrik at 08/02/06 5:27 PM | Reply
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