Jessica Simpson Hearts John Mayer

downgrade

Posted by: Abby at 08/29/06 8:23 PM  | Reply
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Mayer really looks bloated. I guess he's just resting on those "Your Body is a Wonderland" royalties.

Posted by: Michael at 08/29/06 8:41 PM  | Reply
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My Body is in Blubberland

Posted by: Capt. Rock at 08/29/06 9:07 PM  | Reply
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first she bangs the loser from maroon5 now john mayer, she is as stupid as she looks

Posted by: jdgsak at 08/29/06 9:24 PM  | Reply
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He looks like his cock/ass stinks.

Posted by: Brandon at 08/29/06 9:44 PM  | Reply
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Not to mention she got banged by that sack of shit in 98 Degrees.

Posted by: tjxm at 08/29/06 10:21 PM  | Reply
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Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out what's the most amusing of the two: 1. Jessica tossing Nick, a guy who actually cared about her for assclowns like Adam Levine, Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, and now John Mayer who were obviously only interested in banging her or 2. dealers are the new matchmakers.

Posted by: Blair at 08/29/06 10:56 PM  | Reply
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Isn't that bed getting a bit crowded with Dane Cook in there also?

Posted by: Dale Cruse at 08/30/06 9:11 AM  | Reply
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i knew dane cook was smart enough to bang and then get the hell out of there.

Posted by: corey at 08/30/06 10:24 AM  | Reply
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hey, leave jonny alone! he's really nice to me and he's not as fat as he looks in that picture. we just got done doing some blow so of course he looks a little flushed.

i heart your site, stereogum. keep on shoving me down people's throats and my career will go on for a few more years. thanks!

Posted by: jessica at 08/30/06 10:34 AM  | Reply
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why does he always look so bad? he's gross.

Posted by: Beth at 08/30/06 11:00 AM  | Reply
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What a pretty lady. She seems really nice. I wish her good luck in her romantic life. I think she just wants to be appreciated for what she is: a human being with feelings like anyone else. One of God's special creations.

Posted by: David at 08/30/06 12:46 PM  | Reply
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i didn't know stereogum delves into this kind of gossip. i hope it was about a more interesting subject though, 'coz john mayer is just snooze. although i do love his "your body is a wonderland" tune. too bad it looks like his career has reached its peak and it's all downhill from here.

what happened to jess banging dane cook? didn't they have a movie to promote?

Posted by: finn at 08/30/06 12:51 PM  | Reply
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The 3 new Mayer cuts streaming over at AOL Music are sizzling - your loss if you want to remain dismissive.

Posted by: dudeasInCool at 08/30/06 1:03 PM  | Reply
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Call me crazy but I think Dane Cook was good for her...

Posted by: Andrea at 08/30/06 1:06 PM  | Reply
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The 3 new Mayer cuts streaming over at AOL Music are sizzling - your loss if you want to remain dismissive.

Posted by: aolmusic/john mayer at 08/30/06 1:46 PM  | Reply
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Hey Aol/Music/J.M.

LOL. I dont care if I sound like an advertisement or not. I don't even own Your Body Is a Wonderland. Good music is good music whoever records it.

Posted by: dudeasInCool at 08/30/06 1:54 PM  | Reply
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Hey you twats - I banged Jessica without a rubber! What have you done lately? afterwards, I called up Ashley and fucked her at her parent's house. Then we wrote a song together. Watch for "My dick in a lover's hand" coming to a record store near you soon!

Posted by: john mayer at 08/30/06 6:10 PM  | Reply
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Wow, John's a good guy, to intelligent to be with this girl. I thought working brains were back in?

Posted by: MMM at 08/30/06 7:43 PM  | Reply
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Wow, John's a good guy, to intelligent to be with this girl. I thought working brains were in?

Posted by: MMM at 08/30/06 7:44 PM  | Reply
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Thanks for sharing "My Dick In A Lover's Hand" with me. I was really touched.

Posted by: Tamela at 08/31/06 12:09 AM  | Reply
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Lyrics written about me? Cool.

Posted by: Ashley at 08/31/06 12:33 AM  | Reply
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What the hell is wrong with you people out there in what ever the hell place your in, do you want to give a name to it????? What right do you have to demean John Mayer, who is one of the most brilliant up and coming musicians of our time and what the f..k have you accomplished lately ass...s. The worst part here is all the jealousy being displayed here! Has any one of you gone through a failed relationship or divorce? Has any of you out there, who only live inside the world of hate and spew only venom ,every even found anything closely resembling respect or like or god forbid love. Can you not just let people experiment with life on there own terms? F...K I thought that is what the fight for freedom was all about! And do you think these lovers might get some support to help out a relationship that is going to inevitably have a lot of compromise with two careers in high gear. And I know any of you out there thinking that John is a loser or what ever the hell you think of him if the truth be known YOU GUYS ARE THE FKing losers. Sorry for the bad language and I ONLY use it when provoked and pissed off. LOSERS ! And I just got back from a concert in Pittsburgh, Burgettstown and John was anything but bloated, and His fantastic good looks COULD definitely bury you guys any......time. He has written some of the most thought provoking lyrics ever and you don't win awards for you innovative and creative abilities musically and you don't get to play with the best at his young age if you suck, do you? And for Jessica I have no personal experience with her but she supports herself and does a dam good job at it, I would say! LOSERS JLHT

Posted by: junehuntthomas at 08/31/06 4:00 AM  | Reply
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What the hell is wrong with you people out there in what ever the hell place your in, do you want to give a name to it????? What right do you have to demean John Mayer, who is one of the most brilliant up and coming musicians of our time and what the f..k have you accomplished lately ass...s. The worst part here is all the jealousy being displayed here! Has any one of you gone through a failed relationship or divorce? Has any of you out there, who only live inside the world of hate and spew only venom ,every even found anything closely resembling respect or like or god forbid love. Can you not just let people experiment with life on there own terms? F...K I thought that is what the fight for freedom was all about! And do you think these lovers might get some support to help out a relationship that is going to inevitably have a lot of compromise with two careers in high gear. And I know any of you out there thinking that John is a loser or what ever the hell you think of him if the truth be known YOU GUYS ARE THE FKing losers. Sorry for the bad language and I ONLY use it when provoked and pissed off. LOSERS ! And I just got back from a concert in Pittsburgh, Burgettstown and John was anything but bloated, and His fantastic good looks COULD definitely bury you guys any......time. He has written some of the most thought provoking lyrics ever and you don't win awards for your innovative and creative abilities musically and you don't get to play with the best at his young age if you suck, do you? And for Jessica I have no personal experience with her but she supports herself and does a dam good job at it, I would say! LOSERS JLHT

Posted by: junehuntthomas at 08/31/06 4:02 AM  | Reply
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i mean...i think of john mayer when he i touch my cooch. and he's not fat; he's wearing like 4 shirts. you all are fucks and jessica simpson has one lucky vagina

Posted by: sarah at 09/03/06 2:16 AM  | Reply
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Listen, I fucked John Mayer and it was no big deal. He definitely does not smell bad. We did some blow, too.

Posted by: Ashley at 09/03/06 11:44 PM  | Reply
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Listen, I fucked John Mayer and it was no big deal. He definitely does not smell bad. We did some blow, too.

Posted by: Ashley at 09/03/06 11:45 PM  | Reply
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John Mayer is a peiece of crap lier to end up with a dumb ass whore like Jessica Simpson well John how do Bam slopy seconds feel. You can have that shit and now I know why your CD is shity, man you should have clock more time in the studio instead of on top of that whore.

Posted by: martin at 09/04/06 7:17 PM  | Reply
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I have to agree with June's comment: John exceeds many musicians these days, especially when it comes to lyrics. he is definately not lacking in the looks department...the chick that claims to have done john Mayer....I want details!

Posted by: Jasmina at 09/11/06 4:21 AM  | Reply
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Listen, doing John Mayer was no big deal unless you really dig the guy. I met him backstage at a concert. We kissed for awhile, did some blow and when he took his pants off, he cracked a joke. His dick is no joke. For those not as well endowed, cover your eyes. In bed, he's a monster.

Posted by: Ashley at 09/14/06 5:44 PM  | Reply
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And for the record, that IS John Mayer posting on this damn webpage. Just so you know...

Posted by: Ashley at 09/14/06 5:52 PM  | Reply
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I would love to record a cd with John, he is a gifted musician, and i think we would be majick to work together, Hope to hear from you john, i have the most beautiful voice, !

Posted by: cynthia at 09/20/06 1:25 AM  | Reply
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I fucked John at a concert too... sort of he tried but couldn't get the little guy up. He did smell though and if very flabby.

Posted by: Jessica at 09/20/06 1:50 AM  | Reply
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I fucked John at a concert too... sort of he tried but couldn't get the little guy up. He did smell though and he is very flabby.

Posted by: Jessica at 09/20/06 1:50 AM  | Reply
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