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June 30, 2007

Last Night's Party: Field Report From The iPhonic Frontlines

Although it was already a quarter past six by the time we got down to the SoHo Apple store yesterday (a full fifteen minutes after the JesusPhone's official ascension), the scenic absurdity hadn't abated a bit: giddy iPhone bag toting early adopters streaming down Prince St.; a fleet of at least ten cops guarding Station A's gates to iPhonic heaven; eager, fat-walleted souls lined up around the block; and a gaggle of gawkers positioned in front of the store doors whose only apparent function to smile and admire those brave enough to drop loot on the latest advance in technology you had no idea you needed 'til iGod deemed it so.

So the idea was just to snap some shots for you guys and maybe interview some of those that had been waiting in line for four days (not that you haven't heard from those folks enough) -- only, the guys we spoke to at the front of the queue had been waiting a total of fifteen minutes (something we're sure the rained upon campout kids love hearing). Not much insight from the European duo we chatted with (decided to buy after seeing pics/specs, worried about a second generation being a lot better, hoped to iHack the device so the roaming won't be so bad on summer trips across the Atlantic). But their short wait inspired us to duck in and fondle the touch screen with our own greasy paws.

Super boost to the ol' self-esteem upon entrance after a ten minute wait in line: a standing ovation from the entire Apple staff! Knew we made the trip for something. From the rafters and lining the doors, a squad of around 15 Mac staffers cheered the arrival of each patron, disarming for a sec, easily forgotten by the complete iPhonization of the entire store; each wall-embedded screen displayed the gadget rotating and glistening, each poster had the i-word emblazoned upon it, and the large rear-store teleprompter had a giant head and torso saying something inaudible with a serene face, gesturing occasionally, and then flashing a pic of you know what. Very Dharma initiative.

Oh yeah, so we played with one. And though we're no Walt Mossberg, the thing is slick, intuitive to use (and to type on, believe it or not), takes good pics, makes good calls ... and is hella fun. Stereogum.com took a little while to load (what else is new), but YouTube was blazing fast (artist to watch Eugene McGuinness was the top choice! Either Apple has great taste or they read stereogum this week.) -- but we may have been playing on house wifi. Didn't buy one though. Yet.

HAPPY CAMPERS

OVERNIGHT LEFTOVERS

"WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!!"

iPOLICE

FOR THOSE IN NEED OF REFESHMENT


Posted at 4:47 PM
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30 Comments

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAH

Posted by: steve jobs at 06/30/07 5:09 PM  | Reply
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dang, that's a cute cop!

Posted by: tngregory at 06/30/07 5:49 PM  | Reply
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oh yeah. thats a cute cop :-)

Posted by: Alex at 06/30/07 6:21 PM  | Reply
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the iphone was so hyped. I already have an ipod and a phone. All this adds is the ability to use googlemaps and the ability to lose 80( 59.99 + tax) dollars a month on crappy phone service from cingular for the next 24 months. That's 600 + tax = 650 + 1920 (80 x24 months) = $3220 for 2 years slave service to cingular. And the Iphone wasn't sold out so all those busters are retarded for waiting in line. wait for the generation 4 phone. I can't wait for Nokia and Motorola to trump Apple with their clamshell phones that will be much better. I think this will be apple's downfall for this decade. They will probably bounce back in another 5 years but they will go down.

Posted by: idumb at 06/30/07 6:45 PM  | Reply
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When did this become a tech blog? Assholes.

Posted by: Steve at 06/30/07 7:59 PM  | Reply
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"Jesushone's official ascension" LOL

Posted by: Z at 06/30/07 9:41 PM  | Reply
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Who cares about the IPhone - ZEITGEIST has leaked!!

Posted by: fred at 06/30/07 10:05 PM  | Reply
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Who cares about Zeitgeist? It's the iPhone..

Posted by: Eugene at 07/01/07 12:10 AM  | Reply
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I'm gonna download Zeitgeist and listen to it ON my iPhone!!! Touch THAT!!

Posted by: iguy at 07/01/07 12:36 AM  | Reply
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biatch in front of me at battles thinks she's so cool with her iphone, touching all the buttons all dainty, taking her crappy photos of tyondai braxton.

Posted by: pearl at 07/01/07 5:00 AM  | Reply
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No joke, how's this for bad luck. I was having sex with my girlfriend late last night having spent most of the evening getting my iPhone hooked up. Lo and behold, just as I attempt to cum on her tits, some of my spunk splatters on the port of my new fucking phone, which like an idiot I left laying on a pillow. Long story short, I didn't notice, and when I went to dock the damn thing this morning I realized what I had done, and now iTunes can't read the hardware. Devastated, I drove 45 minutes to the store I purchased it at, only to freeze up before I went in because I was afraid to tell them what had happened. I went to my parents, had lunch, and thought about what I should do. In the end, because I'm so embarrassed, I'm just going to count the fucking thing as a loss. Moral(s) of the story: don't spend so much on gadgets, and swallow cum, ladies.

Posted by: Skip at 07/01/07 5:12 AM  | Reply
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@skip

Gee, you're probably an asshole who's like 25 and never have fucked anyone. And you're not funny.

Posted by: gagagaga at 07/01/07 8:13 AM  | Reply
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Skip,

Perhaps, if you can get your iPhone to ever work again, you can play Neutral Milk Hotel's 'Oh Comely'.

Translation: you're a moron for even typing about this apparent incident with your phone.

Posted by: nbagames at 07/01/07 8:52 AM  | Reply
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@ Skip: moral of the story: learn to take a better aim, asshat!

Posted by: Tamerlane at 07/01/07 10:33 AM  | Reply
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igod ipolice hahahaha love it

Posted by: justin kelly at 07/01/07 11:28 AM  | Reply
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Enough of skip. Is that a real cop? I've seen stripper cops that don't look that good. She looks like Sandra Bullock. So we have to ask ourselves: abnormally attractive, real female cop, or global iPhone conspiracy involving actor cops?

Remember "Hot Cops" on 'Arrested Devlopment'?

Posted by: trashcansanta at 07/01/07 11:32 AM  | Reply
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NERRRRRRRRRRDS!!!!!

Posted by: Matt at 07/01/07 11:35 AM  | Reply
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90% of the coverage I've seen for the iPhone is people complaining how over-hyped it is. The world makes no sense. If you don't think it's important, please stop talking about it.

Relax. It's just a gadget, one of many for Apple, aimed at high-end consumers. That's probably not you.

Posted by: fearlessweaver at 07/01/07 11:55 AM  | Reply
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more skip!

Posted by: spencer at 07/01/07 1:38 PM  | Reply
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yeah skip, that's solid advice column material. thank you.

Posted by: pissymist at 07/01/07 1:45 PM  | Reply
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oh you like music do you? god i hate us all. who gives a flying fuck about the iphone, or covering it, or playing into the hegenomy and cuing the rather pithy and self-indulgent quips of--oh, lets say "jesusphone" (thank you, your wit is beyond deligthful). but really, my god. i'll leave the iphone and the latest artic fucking monkeys to you hip kids--i'll get my purity fix here: http://thecho.vox.com/

Posted by: miss spiritual tramp of 1948 at 07/01/07 3:43 PM  | Reply
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great MUSIC blog you fucking hacks

Posted by: gabe at 07/01/07 5:05 PM  | Reply
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People who complain about blogs totally must be really cool, I know I'm impressed. Bitching about "pithy and self-indulging quips" is pretty ironic, too.

When, since the invention of the electric guitar, has music not been about technology, anyway?

Posted by: tk. at 07/01/07 8:55 PM  | Reply
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Actually, it's only since the invention of the Talking Heads song "Electric Guitar."

(I mean, get your facts straight!)

Posted by: Jordan at 07/01/07 9:42 PM  | Reply
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@skip: that sux d00d... i feel ya. i DLed zeitgeist and synced it to my iPhone.... i went out walkin around, and it was such a great album i creamed myself. you think a drop hurts it? myPhone is coated in cum. thanks alot, billy! must you make SUCH incredible music??! omg like wtf

Posted by: iguy at 07/01/07 11:49 PM  | Reply
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I purchased my iPhone this morning and the first person that called me was some lady at my bank asking me if I've been going on a spending spree with my ATM card as of late.

Oh yeah, I over-drafted. Fucking shit.

Posted by: iPunked at 07/02/07 3:24 AM  | Reply
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yeah, i'd like to second that, on the cute cop (4 pic from top). i want to call her, photo/film her on my new iphone.

Posted by: benazona at 07/02/07 12:51 PM  | Reply
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The majority of Apple's gadgets are a complete waste of money, why people are only just figuring this out with the iPhone is beyond me.

Long live the kids with discmans.

Isn't the iPhone just a re-invention of the Blackberry anyway?
Fortunately the iPhone isn't over here. But when it is, what will be the point? There's no sim card port and it'll be outdated in six months time (or probably before it's even out here). Then you're tied to a two year contract, which means no upgrades on the phone, you just have to hope that Apple upgrade the software, it's not even like you'll get an upgrade on the zoom of your camera or whatever else they manage to better/create in the next couple of years.
Stupidly expensive as well from what I understand. I'd rather waste my money on one of those rip-off Vertu phones.

Posted by: Andrew at 07/02/07 4:57 PM  | Reply
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back to this cute cop...

Posted by: d at 07/03/07 10:46 AM  | Reply
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the cop is pretty solid, but i'd fuck the shit out of the FUZE girl on the right.

Posted by: skipiscool at 07/03/07 5:58 PM  | Reply
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