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February 9, 2007

Lefsetz On Indie Rock, Erectile Dysfunction

Industry analyst Bob Lefsetz, the hater you love to hate. Yesterday's Letter targeted everyone with a new album on the charts. We know his "thing" is to be the cranky, old-school critic...

#47. Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah "Some Loud Thunder"
Sales this week: 18,867
Debut

That's the power of NPR.

There's no buzz here, nobody cares. This is third, maybe FOURTH rate indie crap. It's a circle jerk for those no longer in school who consider themselves hip. This is IRRELEVANT!

...but at least get the fucking band name right. He goes on to say, "This chart is irrelevant. I'm only doing this analysis because my inbox is filling up with requests. Everybody wonders if I've FORGOTTEN about the chart. But the chart no longer makes my dick hard, it doesn't get me off." Oy VEY. If not the charts, what DOES get you in the mood, Bob? He wrote later:
My MacPro computer with its 23" HD screen makes my dick hard every time I walk by it. Because it's so fucking BEAUTIFUL!
Okay but you don't have to SCREAM, you'll making Billboard jealous. Just wait 'til he gets an iPhone.

Posted at 10:14 AM
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13 Comments

what an assfuck! woooooooo......

Posted by: GiantPanda at 02/09/07 10:59 AM  | Reply
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i don't think billboard wants to make bob hard. pretty ricky, on the other hand...

Posted by: katie, a princess at 02/09/07 11:06 AM  | Reply
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Nah, I agree with him. All these generic indie bands ... the Claps Yeahs, the Klaxons, etc. when they get super hyped up and people listen to them, people stop trusting you - because, according to you, the best music on EARTH EVER is some boring as hell, run of the mill indie guitar band.

When's the last time someone talked about the Arctic Monkeys, and was actually referring to the Arctic Monkeys?

Posted by: zzbbzzbb at 02/09/07 11:13 AM  | Reply
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lefty speaks with the urgency of evangelical christians, 2012-believing Mayans, and meth'd up'd homeless dudes who have freshly discovered telepathy.

THE DINOSAURS ARE CRUMBLING THE SKY IS FALLING AND THIS TECHNOLOGY I READ ABOUT ON CNN.COM WILL CRUSH ALL THE MAJOR CORPORATIONS.

Posted by: bender at 02/09/07 11:25 AM  | Reply
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that was actually one of his funnier rants if you read it in its entirety - he rips john mayer to shreds. and my favorite quote, regarding corinne bailey rae fans:

"You're a softie with no direction home who listens to what others say, who's got no self-respect, who doesn't realize life is a battle and shit like this won't help you win the war."

Ha!

Posted by: sasefina at 02/09/07 12:08 PM  | Reply
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Isn't this guy dead yet?

Posted by: Marcus at 02/09/07 12:22 PM  | Reply
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does anyone know what exactly lefsetz does and his relation to the industry?

Posted by: jason at 02/09/07 12:34 PM  | Reply
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he's kinda right tho... CYHSY f'n suck it. like at least TRY to sing? please?

Posted by: JR at 02/09/07 1:56 PM  | Reply
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he's an entertainment lawyer. he's been writing for years. a lot of people in the established music business read him.

Posted by: davidm. at 02/09/07 3:07 PM  | Reply
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you've got to admit that his comments about john mayer and nelly furtado are hilarious.

i loved his comments about the grammys. he also makes some good points about the long tail buiness model not replacing the mainstream but running alongside it. i always thought his viewpoints are outdated too - but then read what he says about Mellencamp and having fans empower the artist rather than just sell out and shout from a television box.

Posted by: cifanic at 02/09/07 4:02 PM  | Reply
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I can't believe I'm going to say this, but the dude's right; to this day it still vexes me how Clap Your Hands Say Yeah even was lauded for its work. Sure, I gave them another chance with Some Loud Thunder, but when you can't get past the first track and people are splooging all over them, there's something wrong here, folks.

I really don't know which is the bigger travesty: this or the fact that Pitchfork rated Bloc Party's new abortion of a sophomore release higher than Apostle of Hustle's newest album.

Posted by: Allen at 02/10/07 2:15 AM  | Reply
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You're all morons, in my opinion.

Jesus Christ, Allen, you don't have to see how someone likes another band. They just like them, sometimes there is no good reason to like music other than the fact that, to you, it just sounds COOL.

What is the debate about, I mean, really?

Some people like that style of vocals, they just do, and some people don't -- they just don't. It's like trying to convince someone to like The Talking Heads, they're not the type of band that everyone is going love, but they're great for the people that do. Same with CYHSY.

Posted by: Tim at 02/12/07 1:39 PM  | Reply
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"I really don't know which is the bigger travesty: this or the fact that Pitchfork rated Bloc Party's new abortion of a sophomore release higher than Apostle of Hustle's newest album."

excellent question. i believe the correct answer is the latter.

Posted by: adam at 02/12/07 2:13 PM  | Reply
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