More On Why You'll Never Shred Like Van Halen

Google's quest to provide endless means for procrastination received an infusion last month with the launch of their Patent Search, a kid-friendly search engine to dig up the history, tech info, and schematics on all sorts of legally-protected, hair-brained schemes. Ironic Sans is all over it, pulling registered patents from the likes of Harry Connick, Jr., Lawrence Welk, and this masterpiece from Eddie Van Halen (via Gawker):

Sorry, budding axe-slingers; ripping like Eddie's against the law! And some more bad news: you'll never defy gravity like Jacko, either. We couldn't find anything on Tom Waits's voicebox, which means Honus Honus is in the clear. Let us know if you find any others!

Posted at 1:22 PM
Tags: Michael Jackson | Van Halen

5 Comments

I always know Dylan was a genius, but not like this:

http://www.google.com/patents?vid=USPAT5425940&id=chEmAAAAEBAJ&dq=robert+zimmerman

Posted by: Rob at 01/04/07 1:58 PM  | Reply
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boo:

http://www.google.com/patents?q=kevin+federline&btnG=Search+Patents

Posted by: scott at 01/04/07 2:42 PM  | Reply
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michael jordan's pretty smart too http://www.google.com/patents?vid=USPAT4325910&id=mxQ8AAAAEBAJ&dq=michael+jordan

Posted by: ian at 01/04/07 2:45 PM  | Reply
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And Tom Waits has sued folks for sounding like him. Well, at least folks who sound like him and sing in auto adverts.

http://www.stereogum.com/archives/001842.html

So, I guess as long as Honus Honus stays away from ads, he's okay - though I would like to hear a Man Man version of "Crazy 'Bout A Ford Truck."

Posted by: Derek Sunshine at 01/04/07 2:47 PM  | Reply
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Admit it, you'd take up smoking again if you had the welk ashtray.

Posted by: dannygutters at 01/04/07 3:15 PM  | Reply
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