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August 11, 2006

Cherub Rock

A truly WTF find from Pitchfork...

Lullayby renditions of songs from: Nirvana, No Doubt, Pink Floyd, Queens Of The Stone Age, Smashing Pumpkins, Björk, The Cure, Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Beach Boys, Eagles, Beatles, and Tool. (What, no Sufjan?)

The Coldplay, Metallica, and Radiohead pages have sound samples.

The site says: "Do you really want your baby listening to Tool? Hell, yes!" Well, not if you're gonna leave off "Stinkfist"!

The album covers are cute, though.

Who can help me think of a better title for this blog entry? The best one gets the Baby Rock record of their choice. I promise this isn't one of those contests I forget about 'cause all the responses are lame. I'm convinced you are all too clever to fuck up this golden opportunity. I will pick a winner TODAY at 5 PM EST and have it shipped to you. Then you will have to find a baby, make him/her listen to it, and report back to us.

Posted at 1:32 PM in ,
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68 Comments

What about "Baby Rammstein"?

Posted by: AJB at 08/11/06 2:04 PM | Reply
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man. I suck at this. what about the Zwan song "Baby, Let's Rock!"? No? I didn't think so...

Posted by: idioten at 08/11/06 2:07 PM | Reply
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Baby Bopz

Posted by: K Prime at 08/11/06 2:14 PM | Reply
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How about simply "Cradle Of Filth"?

Posted by: Alex at 08/11/06 2:21 PM | Reply
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this is actually really good. I thought it would be some crappy shit like strings for Radiohead but these songs are actually well composed.

Posted by: god at 08/11/06 2:21 PM | Reply
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elbow deep inside bedtime

or

This may hurt a little but it's something you can sleep to

both from the aforementioned track 'stinkfist'

Posted by: kiteless at 08/11/06 2:27 PM | Reply
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paranoid android sounded pretty good as a lullaby. this is silly.

Posted by: Elton at 08/11/06 2:32 PM | Reply
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The Coldplay and Radiohead sound really great, but the Metallica still sounds more suited to a haunted house than a baby's room. Which I'm sure they'd be very proud of.

Posted by: Norville at 08/11/06 2:38 PM | Reply
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I thouht Coldplay already made music for children...

Posted by: gghgg at 08/11/06 2:39 PM | Reply
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Stuff like this makes me wish I knew people with kids so I would have a legit reason to buy the QOTSA one.

Posted by: Kim at 08/11/06 2:39 PM | Reply
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how about "Sweet Child of Too Much Wine"

Posted by: Losho at 08/11/06 2:44 PM | Reply
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sweet, "Lullabalus"

Posted by: Kevin at 08/11/06 2:47 PM | Reply
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What about:

"Music for your little pig in a cage on antibiotics"

Posted by: Evan at 08/11/06 2:54 PM | Reply
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How about:

Baby Boys don't cry -- when they're listening to lullaby renditions of the Cure.

Smells like baby Spirit

Posted by: Jenny at 08/11/06 3:02 PM | Reply
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baby screams?

Posted by: eric at 08/11/06 3:05 PM | Reply
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How about "Indie Guppies"?

Posted by: TJ at 08/11/06 3:09 PM | Reply
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"Kid A(sleep)"

Posted by: Mark at 08/11/06 3:19 PM | Reply
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'Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner'

Posted by: jadedfog at 08/11/06 3:20 PM | Reply
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rock rock, rock and roll preschool

Posted by: nick at 08/11/06 3:21 PM | Reply
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if it was bad you could've called it Minor Threat...

Posted by: gavin at 08/11/06 3:22 PM | Reply
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"Kid Rock"

Posted by: kasia at 08/11/06 3:27 PM | Reply
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punchup at a playdate.

Posted by: godzilla thread killah at 08/11/06 3:27 PM | Reply
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'Hooker with a Penis' still has a nice ring to it.

Posted by: kg at 08/11/06 3:33 PM | Reply
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'Sleepy Music (For A Baby)'
'Packt Like Quintplets In A Single Wmb'

i'm done now.

Posted by: k at 08/11/06 3:41 PM | Reply
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"Live and Let Cry"

Posted by: Ashlita at 08/11/06 3:43 PM | Reply
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"Shake Shake Shake. Shake Shake Shake. Shake Your Bay-bee"

Posted by: JJFab at 08/11/06 3:46 PM | Reply
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How about 'Nice Dream' for the Radiohead one. Though the cover art is more likely to induce nightmares. This is your teddy, this is your teddy on crack.

Posted by: Michael at 08/11/06 3:56 PM | Reply
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how about, "Sorry, but Mommy couldn't find the Mozart for Babies CD"

Posted by: Stephen at 08/11/06 3:57 PM | Reply
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or "Honey, Let's see if Metallica really will turn our kids into serial killers"

Posted by: Stephen at 08/11/06 4:04 PM | Reply
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The Cradle Will Rock

For Those About to Nap, We Ablute You

Posted by: growler at 08/11/06 4:04 PM | Reply
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umm, how about "suffer little children."

i mean, if you're forcing them to listen to fucking tool.

Posted by: plan b at 08/11/06 4:08 PM | Reply
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lullapalooza?


my grandmother would find that to be extraordinarily clever.

Posted by: Tim at 08/11/06 4:11 PM | Reply
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"Works great on grandma, too!"

Posted by: george at 08/11/06 4:16 PM | Reply
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The Band That Rocks The Cradle

Posted by: ryan at 08/11/06 4:17 PM | Reply
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OK, I'm heading to Fed Ex drop-off to send my broken Macbook back to Mr. Jobs.

When I get back I'll pick a winner. So you've got like an hour, hour and half.

(Lots of good ones so far.)

Posted by: scott at 08/11/06 4:17 PM | Reply
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Twee as Fuck

Posted by: Joosse at 08/11/06 4:21 PM | Reply
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On second thought, "Wee as Fuck" is probably slightly more appropriate.

Posted by: Joosse at 08/11/06 4:24 PM | Reply
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HOW BOUT "The Band That Rocks the Cradle"

Posted by: carlo vonsextron at 08/11/06 4:30 PM | Reply
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Child Abuse

Posted by: Curtis Cunningham at 08/11/06 4:46 PM | Reply
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Territorial Pissings

Cradle Will Rock

I'm Only Sleeping

Just Like a Dream

Black, White, Green, Red, Can I Take My Rock to Bed?

How to Go to Sleep Completely

Posted by: cookies at 08/11/06 4:50 PM | Reply
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Enter Sandman, bring me a dream...

Posted by: gertymcdowell at 08/11/06 4:50 PM | Reply
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Nap Attack!

Posted by: cyberghandi at 08/11/06 4:54 PM | Reply
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Nap Attack!

Posted by: Anthony Mertens at 08/11/06 4:55 PM | Reply
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Your Baby Wakes, Your Mind Aches

Happiness Is A Warm Thumb

Posted by: kg at 08/11/06 4:58 PM | Reply
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"Lullabies to paralyze...er... gently sooth to sleep"

Posted by: Mark at 08/11/06 5:05 PM | Reply
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HAPPINESS IS A WARM THUMB!!! WINNER!! WINNER!

Posted by: nick at 08/11/06 5:28 PM | Reply
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Napster

Posted by: g at 08/11/06 5:30 PM | Reply
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There were SO MANY good ones. I'm gonna give it to Nick.

Runners up:
- The Band That Rocks The Cradle
- Twee As Fuck
- relevant quotes from "Stinkfist"

Nick, check your inbox!

Posted by: scott at 08/11/06 5:35 PM | Reply
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which entry was it...?

Posted by: kg at 08/11/06 5:39 PM | Reply
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if you're referring to me, i was referring to KG's post


unless you were totalling into "Rock Rock, Rock and Roll Preschool"

Posted by: nick at 08/11/06 5:41 PM | Reply
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if you're referring to me, i was referring to KG's post


unless you were totally into "Rock Rock, Rock and Roll Preschool"

Posted by: nick at 08/11/06 5:45 PM | Reply
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sorry for the double post, both with equally bad typos.

Posted by: nick at 08/11/06 5:47 PM | Reply
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oh man, i'm being lame, but i want to know :)

Posted by: kg at 08/11/06 5:50 PM | Reply
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sorry for the double post, both with equally bad typos.

Posted by: nick at 08/11/06 5:57 PM | Reply
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"Happiness Is A Warm Thumb" by Nick, whose e-mail address is not the@the.com. So Nick, leave another comment using your real e-mail, and if it's the same IP addresses as the winning comment, you win.

Posted by: scott at 08/11/06 5:58 PM | Reply
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sorry for the double post, both with equally bad typos.

Posted by: nick at 08/11/06 5:58 PM | Reply
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Damn it! Too late!

Posted by: the billionaire at 08/11/06 6:00 PM | Reply
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oh no! i posted that originally, scott! scroll up!

Posted by: kg at 08/11/06 6:04 PM | Reply
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happiness is a warm thumb was posted by "kg" at 4:58, so get his email.

Posted by: nick at 08/11/06 6:05 PM | Reply
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You're right! I got confused. "Happiness Is A Warm Thumb" was first posted by kg, and she's about to pick out her lullaby CD. Stay tuned for her choice/review...

Posted by: scott at 08/11/06 6:09 PM | Reply
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Cut the Kids in Half

Posted by: Christian at 08/11/06 6:37 PM | Reply
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How about "We Suck Young Blood: Radiohead for Babies"

Posted by: Abir Majumdar at 08/11/06 7:44 PM | Reply
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The radiohead bear is creepy. and a coldplay lullaby album is redundant.

Posted by: jaird at 08/11/06 8:22 PM | Reply
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"...a coldplay lullaby album is redundant."

Perfect.

Posted by: Tony Porras at 08/12/06 12:35 AM | Reply
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"The perfect gifts for your newly daddy friends"

Posted by: Norbs at 08/12/06 9:28 AM | Reply
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"I'm asleep, I'm a weirdo"

Yes, I know it's far too late. Lullabalooza, too (similar but not the same as lullapalooza).

Posted by: Jason Robots at 08/13/06 7:22 PM | Reply
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rock a by baby.
duh.

Posted by: justsomeguy at 08/14/06 4:55 AM | Reply
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cherub rock is perfect. don't change it.

Posted by: d at 08/14/06 12:05 PM | Reply
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