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July 25, 2006

George Michael Calls Off Wedding

The pop singer and his longtime lover Kenny Goss are now "reassessing their relationship" since news of Michael's recent hit sex scandal (his first since '98!).

The best part about George Michael's mutual fondling with some dude lurking in the bushes in Hampstead Heath? He's unemployed, 58-year-old Norman Kirtland, and he says ridiculous things.

"I didn't see who it was. He looked kind of dark and I said to him: You're not English, are you?"

Nice pick up line.

The Sun claims Kirtland wears "untrendy shorts" and lives in "squalid Brighton flat with a 20-year-old cat." (Only The Sun would criticize a pet for being old.)

"I don’t even like George Michael’s music," Kirtland admitted. "I’m not a fan. I prefer soul music myself. I never liked Wham! or any of his stuff."

How do you not like Wham!? They were whamtastic!

Wham! - "Everything She Wants" (MP3)

At least George has graduated from public restrooms.

Posted at 12:07 PM in
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15 Comments

OF = OFF

Posted by: Max Imam at 07/25/06 12:10 PM | Reply
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Here is a germane webcomic, spat out by my RSSticker while I read this post. http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=07252006

Posted by: Rip Tatermen at 07/25/06 12:31 PM | Reply
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Who cares what the Sun says, those are the trendiest shorts I've ever seen.

Posted by: Josh at 07/25/06 1:14 PM | Reply
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oh come on youve never ragged on a cat for being old?

Posted by: collin at 07/25/06 1:21 PM | Reply
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> oh come on youve never ragged on a cat for
> being old?

I actually laughed out loud.

Posted by: scott at 07/25/06 1:28 PM | Reply
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actually the hierarchy of anonymous gay cruising goes:

bushes

then:

bathrooms

followed of course by:

bridges

and finally :

boiler rooms(strangers with candy anyone?)


Posted by: mathamatic at 07/25/06 1:51 PM | Reply
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Yay! Wham! My favorite part of that song is, "I don't even think... that I LOVE YOU!" Bah da da da dahhhhh...

Posted by: Do the Jitterbug at 07/25/06 2:01 PM | Reply
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Yay! Wham! My favorite part of that song is, "I don't even think... that I LOVE YOU!" Bah da da da dahhhhh...

Posted by: Do the Jitterbug at 07/25/06 2:03 PM | Reply
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the sun described the chap in the bushes like this:

"Gay dogger Kirtland, who lives in a squalid Brighton flat with a 20-year-old cat, insisted he did not know at first he was with a megastar."

could be talking about pete doherty too, no?

Posted by: Blimpy McFlah at 07/25/06 2:21 PM | Reply
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wait a minute:
george michael's gay?

Posted by: matt at 07/25/06 3:37 PM | Reply
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None of this would have happened if Britain had the good sense to re-illegalize gay marriages, like the US. (Granted, in America gay marriage was never legal to being with, but it's important that we make it extra, super-illegal).

Think of all the heterosexual British unions that were ruined by George Michael's homosexual philandering.

Posted by: Jake at 07/25/06 4:24 PM | Reply
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How did you know that was my favorite track on Make It Big?!

Posted by: Constant Dater at 07/25/06 4:55 PM | Reply
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Oh, Wham, how I love thee. I definitely don't have a fake Wham tribute page on my website. Totally do not.

Posted by: Megan at 07/25/06 10:08 PM | Reply
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Yeah, that Wham! track is too perfect. So quintessentially 80s, yet so underrated to this DAY!

Posted by: christopher at 07/26/06 3:43 AM | Reply
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George, we're through! Where's my 1-million-quid present?

Posted by: Memememe at 07/26/06 3:27 PM | Reply
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