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April 18, 2006

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Had A Baby

According to People, TomKat have procreated! We generally leave Hollywood gossip to the celeb blogs, but our rule is: if we can relate it to music, it's fair game. So you have your choice of Scientology songs: the musical stylings of L. Ron Hubbard (featuring John Travolta, Leif Garrett, and Frank Stallone!) OR ...

Leonard Cohen - "Famous Blue Raincoat" (MP3 Link Expired)

Now ... what to name the little one? Not Moses I'm guessing.

UPDATE: E! gives us the little girl's name: Suri. Her name means "princess" in Hebrew, "red rose" in Persian, and she's already been diagnosed with ADHD, poor thing.

Posted at 7:08 PM in
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28 Comments

suri. it's named suri.

first.

Posted by: spo. at 04/18/06 7:33 PM  | Reply
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how did they keep her quiet the whole time?

Posted by: quasi at 04/18/06 7:51 PM  | Reply
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L. Ron Hubbard has to be among one of the worst male singers ever.

Posted by: Penny Woods at 04/18/06 8:41 PM  | Reply
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I thought Sarah meant "princess" in Hebrew. Sounds like Tommo's bending the rules again!

Posted by: maria* at 04/18/06 8:50 PM  | Reply
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was katie holmes really that bad in Thank You For Smoking? i thought she was fine, but my roommates flipped the hell out and said she was abonimable.

Posted by: jack at 04/18/06 9:39 PM  | Reply
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This type of news is dumb and should stop. Stereogum's not Vh1. I get enough of useless pop culture.

Posted by: Van at 04/18/06 10:09 PM  | Reply
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brooke shields also had her baby today....

same day as tom....

remembe when they fought about some dumb baby shit?

maybe they can set up a play date....

Posted by: maya lucia at 04/18/06 10:16 PM  | Reply
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that is going to be one fucked up baby. I heard that tom ate the baby's placenta. no shit.

Posted by: jimmy at 04/18/06 10:48 PM  | Reply
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Hey maria*, maybe Tom's saying Suri means "princess" in KABBALAH.

Posted by: memememe at 04/18/06 11:02 PM  | Reply
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what connection to scientology does leonard cohen have?

Posted by: nick at 04/18/06 11:36 PM  | Reply
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placenta=a good source of protein. it's an old tradition also done by many tribal people in africa as well as in ancient greece. just fyi.

Posted by: wered at 04/19/06 1:16 AM  | Reply
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But precisely WHEN was it born?

Posted by: Ed at 04/19/06 2:16 AM  | Reply
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"what connection to scientology does leonard cohen have?"

Nick, apparently the lines:

"That night that you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?"

... are some sort of Scientology reference.

To think, all these years, I'd assumed it was a heroin reference. Shows you what I know.

Posted by: DJA at 04/19/06 4:09 AM  | Reply
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I thought Leonard was Jewish?

Posted by: Chance MacPherson at 04/19/06 5:09 AM  | Reply
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i read that gunk by ronL andit seems we all came from sea shells...yes ...i knew Darwin always got it wrong...

Posted by: countrygrrl at 04/19/06 5:55 AM  | Reply
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Brook Shield's baby also born yesterday, that is so ironic.

Posted by: Gabi at 04/19/06 8:09 AM  | Reply
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We get it Tom, you successfully conceived a child, you're straight, now go away forever

Posted by: Josh at 04/19/06 10:10 AM  | Reply
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memememe-I still call bullshit. What's devout Scientologist Cruise looking to Kabbalah for anyway? Aren't there any nifty intergalactic names to choose from?

Posted by: maria* at 04/19/06 10:42 AM  | Reply
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I thought that TomKat were having a boy what a surprise that baby is going to be beautiful.

Posted by: Leona at 04/19/06 11:33 AM  | Reply
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Suri the Scientologist who will lead us in the promised band ! (Placentanotincluded)

Posted by: Webbie at 04/19/06 12:09 PM  | Reply
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Yeah, like it's really theirs. It was delivered alright. By some woman who didn't want a child. Their adoption/delivery date was just that day.
I claim proof by the simple fact that Tom Cruise is obviously a eunuch.

Posted by: Cole at 04/19/06 2:06 PM  | Reply
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I wonder if Brooke used any medication to help her thru the delivery and if Katie had to use some oh how Tom would be angry and if Katie needed some and Tom said no he should be inflicted with some pain himself.

Posted by: Leona at 04/19/06 2:48 PM  | Reply
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I'm not positive, but I think Leonard has since renounced his Scientological (?) ways. Nice track, though.

Posted by: Edgewin at 04/19/06 2:50 PM  | Reply
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Actually, Suri in Hebrew (or more accurately, Tzuri) means: My Problem.

No joke.

Posted by: max at 04/19/06 6:14 PM  | Reply
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Suri in Japanese means "pickpocket". Sarah in Jewish means "princess" and Tom Cruise means "bat shit crazy" around the world.

Posted by: Calliwell at 04/20/06 10:29 PM  | Reply
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dont u people have anything else to do ??? like live your lives not worry about others

Posted by: blah at 04/21/06 11:17 AM  | Reply
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I wonder how many papers will post the words 'Tom Cruises little bastard has had a fall' or 'Tom Cruise and his little bastard seen here shopping for clothes for mummy'

Posted by: Tom Cruise at 04/25/06 9:16 AM  | Reply
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