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July 15, 2004

Mutant Celebrities Among Us?

My lovely fiancee Eliza Jane has uncovered a disturbing trend in the pages of Star magazine.

If you'll remember, last week's super classy "Celebrity Flaws" issue broke the story about [cue "Blister In The Sun"] ... Uma Thurman's GIANT HANDS.

Now (from this week's "Seriously, What's Up With Mary-Kate? Anyone Know?" issue) comes the news that singer Macy Gray is 9 feet tall.

50 Ft Queenie

You heard it here first: Robert Wadlow is the new black.

(Thanks Lauren for the scan. Oh, and FYI -- the photo on Macy's right is of Clay Aiken, and not the kid from Deliverance like I originally thought.)

Posted at 8:58 AM




17 Comments

Which flaw did they choose for Britney?

Posted by: Brit at 07/15/04 12:11 PM | Reply
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seriously, how is it possible for macy to have such a large head? her actual head is about twice the size of fergie's. (although it could be an optical illusion because of her giant hair.)

also, it disturbs me that claiken has no eyes.

Posted by: ej at 07/15/04 12:13 PM | Reply
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they said that brit brit has a "flubby tummy."

Posted by: ejane at 07/15/04 12:14 PM | Reply
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How do you know about Robert Wadlow?

Posted by: sarah at 07/15/04 12:17 PM | Reply
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Maybe Macy was exposed to some gamma ray when she was at that attack at World Unity Day Festival in Times Square a couple of years ago.

Posted by: Magnificent Bastard at 07/15/04 12:24 PM | Reply
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dear god:

hey, howz it going? i was just writing to pray that that photo of macy gray and fergie was photoshopped. if not, good job on their genes, you're a funny guy.

luv,

a fan

Posted by: gijyun at 07/15/04 12:41 PM | Reply
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Every time I look at Macy Gray, I see her naked body. THAT'S NOT GOOD.

Posted by: Adam at 07/15/04 1:07 PM | Reply
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wow, Macy Gray looks like Andre the Giant in drag.

Posted by: pinder at 07/15/04 1:20 PM | Reply
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Hoyt Pollard AKA Clay Aiken:
http://www.destgulch.com/images/deliv01.jpg

Posted by: Mighty at 07/15/04 2:29 PM | Reply
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"Hoyt Pollard AKA Clay Aiken:
http://www.destgulch.com/images/deliv01.jpg"

AHHH! *screams continuously around my chair while waiving fist at screen*

Posted by: long face steve at 07/15/04 3:35 PM | Reply
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Awesome! thanks steve

Posted by: stereogum at 07/15/04 4:25 PM | Reply
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hey, umm, got any pics of those GIANT HANDS you can direct us to?

mutant appendages or no, uma's still i-played-a-bisexual-in-a-film-based-on-the-work-of-anais-nin level hott.

Posted by: sweetney at 07/15/04 7:37 PM | Reply
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i think that issue is kinda screwed up... are they saying that celebrities have to be perfect in every way at all times?

Um... not gonna happen.

Posted by: astralgirl01 at 07/16/04 1:16 AM | Reply
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DUDE MACY GRAY IS FUCKING "TALL".. WHAT THE HELL IS SHE THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT.. SHE MAKES FERGIE LOOK LIKE A ACTUAL FRAGAL ROCK.. SHE REALLY NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT WHO SHE PHOTOGRAPHS WITH NEXT TIME

Posted by: CAROLINA at 07/16/04 8:40 AM | Reply
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A Mary-Kate update from MTV.com:

http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1489437/07152004/story.jhtml

Posted by: nm at 07/16/04 10:07 AM | Reply
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I think this is the sickest thing ever! Hellooooo, these ppl are just like us, we all have flaws! And what the hell, saying that someone's teeth are different colors and shit, and saying that someone has big hands, how much fuckin time do ppl have on their hands to notice such small flaws!

Posted by: sara at 09/04/04 11:40 PM | Reply
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guestebeseasapi

Posted by: olga at 07/27/06 1:22 PM | Reply
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