Stereogum Home
August 31, 2006

Ode To Kirsten Dunst

In the long tradition of novelty pop songs about celebrities, UK band Brinkman deliver "Kirsten Dunst."

“Yeah, we’ve talked about how difficult it could be if I actually did get to go out with Kirsten Dunst,” says vocalist/guitarist Paul Cook. “One of my friends said to me, ‘what if you went out with her for a couple of weeks and then you decided you weren’t that keen on her? What happens if she goes back to the States and says ‘Fucking Brinkman, bunch of wankers’, slagging you off to her powerful Hollywood mates?’“
Dream on. But at least they got a tune out of it.

Stream Brinkman's "Kirsten Dunst" at MySpace.

I predict this song will do for Brinkman what "David Duchovny" did for Bree Sharp (i.e., Bree who?).

RELATED: Bob Dylan on his Alicia Keys shoutout in "Thunder On The Mountain"...

BOB DYLAN: "I remember seeing her on the Grammys. I think I was on the show with her, I didn't meet her or anything. But I said to myself, 'There's nothing about that girl I don't like.' "
Cute! I mean, creepy!

ALSO: Pics Of Cate Blanchett As Bob Dylan.

Posted at 12:52 PM
Tags:




24 Comments

...or what Matthew Modine did for Pony Up. Er..never mind.

Posted by: JF at 08/31/06 1:13 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

i have a suspicion that dating kirsten dunst would involve bony, unsatisfying sex. maybe i'm wrong.

Posted by: tobias funke at 08/31/06 1:19 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Kirsten Dunst is cute, in an unusual way.

She's not, however, the sex symbol they make her out to be.

Posted by: Sean at 08/31/06 1:21 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

didn't someone do a song about Claire Danes?

Posted by: jason at 08/31/06 2:01 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

The Ataris off an Ep I had in high school. I think we can all agree that Adam Green's career hasn't floundered despite his ode to Jessica Simpson.

Posted by: Eric at 08/31/06 2:15 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Or what "Jason Lee" did for the All Girl Summer Fun Band.

Posted by: Scott at 08/31/06 2:33 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

i believe the song i was thinking of was "claire danes poster" by the group Size 14, as featured on an episode of 120 minutes many years ago.

Posted by: jason L at 08/31/06 2:48 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Damn you for getting that song stuck in my head! "David Duchovny, I want you to love me, kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me . . ."

Posted by: emily at 08/31/06 3:04 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

she has a spot on Dylan...hilarious!

this means all older washed rockers will be to fat in the future so that only skinny waifs will be able to play them in movies!

who will Mick Jagger and Kef in the bio?

Posted by: seamus at 08/31/06 3:43 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

that is far from spot on. it looks kinda like she dressed as dylan for halloween, but i can't believe they are actually shooting a movie with her in that role.

i shudder to think of how the voice is going to sound.

Posted by: tobias funke at 08/31/06 4:24 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

These are the actors supposedly playing Dylan:
Cate Blanchett
Heath Ledger
Christian Bale
Ben Whishaw
Richard Gere

I hear Justine Bateman is up for the part of Robbie Robertson.

Posted by: Stephen at 08/31/06 5:17 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Didn't Ozma have a song called kirsten dunst, or was that natalie portman?

Posted by: Kevin at 08/31/06 6:05 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Saggy Boobs O' Saggy Boobs
Kirstin has big Saggy Boobs

Still not too bad now, but soon they will hit her feet.
Saggy, Saggy, big and flappy Kirstin is kind of neat.

Posted by: My Song to Kirstin at 08/31/06 6:13 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Is this the same song that Names For Enemies did? There was a track about her on their 'Denial is not a river in Egypt' EP.

Going to check now...

It's not. There you go, another tune about Kirsten Dunst.

Posted by: Andrew at 08/31/06 6:14 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Cate Blanchett looks strangely like Pete Doherty in those photos

Posted by: Jono at 08/31/06 7:02 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

http://www.wwtdd.com/images/kd28.shtml

seriously?

Posted by: nikki at 08/31/06 7:55 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

why didn't david duchovny love her? If I remember correctly, bree sharp was a fox. But also, why is kirsten dunst having songs written about her? She's so not worthy of a song, sort of like david duchovny.

Posted by: Ace at 08/31/06 9:15 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I'm so excited about that Dylan film I can barely breathe.

Posted by: sully at 09/01/06 8:17 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Or what Matthew Sweet did for Winona Ryder ... before the shoplifting, the train wreck of an appearance on SNL and her many questionable movie choices.

"Autumn in New York" - WTF?

Posted by: Paul Rubens at 09/01/06 11:29 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

all girl summer fun band have a song called "Jason Lee"

not sure anything romantic became of that.

Posted by: curt at 09/01/06 12:38 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

A backhanded compliment. They mispronounce her name. It's kEARstin, dammit. Now she won't get with them.

Posted by: Morgan at 09/04/06 1:12 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

she's alright. i just don't like her braless sinking boobs, her lack of talent, her overinflated ego, her bleached head, skank extensions, anorexic pale skeletal body, her workman's hands, her nobby nose, her ugly candid photos that don't in the least resemble her photo shoots, her squirrely voice, missing upper lip, one overplayed "sexy" expression in her hooded eyes when she's vamping. that's about it.

Posted by: kk at 09/07/06 1:07 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Kirsten is ace!!! Leave her alone. She's beautiful (have you even checked that picture of her above?) and talented too. Apparently she's a super nice person too. Yep she rocks alright!

Posted by: KD Fan at 10/14/06 6:29 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Look at some of the dorks Kirsten Dunst has gone out with. Jake Gyllennhall was the most famous and he's not all that himself and it went downhill from there. Then she dated Steven Von Mueller some celebrity publicist (I found him on MySpace, nerd), and now some rocker guy from a band I can't even remember. Lol. She's cute in a weird way though. Hot in some pics, but if you see her where shes not done up, forget about it. Maybe we should ask one of these ex's of hers what it was like to do her? Id be curious.

Posted by: John Stewart at 01/31/08 12:20 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Leave a comment


 

The 'Gum Drop

Get our newsletter. MP3s and giveaways weekly.

Search




Sort by:date relevance

Information

  • Contact:
  • About
  • Press
  • Advertising
  • Stereogum RSS Stereogum RSS XML Icon
  • MP3-Only RSS Stereogum RSS XML Icon

Staff

Founder/Editor-In-Chief
Scott Lapatine
Executive Editor
Amrit Singh
Senior Writer
Brandon Stosuy
Columnist
Jon McMillan
Technology & Operations
Jim Jazwiecki
Angela Williams

The Cool Kids

All Stereogum Posts


Get Flash to see our mp3 player. Here are our mp3s: Cold Cave - Sex Ads (»)
The Acorn - Crooked Legs (»)
The Raveonettes - Come On Santa (»)
The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - Everything With You (»)
Crystal Stilts - Crystal Stilts (»)
Crystal Stilts - Shattered Shine (»)
Blackout Beach - Astoria, Menthol Lite, Hilltop, Wave of Evil, 1982 (»)
Ben Kweller - Hurtin' You (»)

Progress Report logo

Progress Report: Kings Of Convenience

NAME: Kings of Convenience PROGRESS REPORT: Recording their third studio LP, Quiet IS The New Loud (working title), at Esagono Studios near Reggio Emilia, Italy Things are coming full circle for Kings Of Convenience, at least as album titles go....

MORE »

Commercial Appeal logo

Lost Gets Into The Fray

Last month Chris Cornell released a video that doubled as a commercial for ABC's Life On Mars. This week the Fray released a video that is also a trailer for the fifth season of ABC's Lost. Gabe at Videogum says,...

MORE »

Premature Evaluation logo

Premature Evaluation: The Killers - Day & Age

The Killers did good with Hot Fuss, their flashy debut of hooky Vegas new wave. Their look and glitzy synth tones were dialed directly into Indie '04, and after a few years of touring and fan base swelling, they talked...

MORE »

Band to Watch logo

Band To Watch: Cold Cave

Cold Cave is the brainchild of Philadelphia's Wesley Eisold, ex-Some Girls, Give Up The Ghost, XO Skeletons, and currently Ye Olde Maids, etc. We're calling his newest project a Band To Watch, but Eisold received some high-profile press when Fall...

MORE »

Quit Your Day Job logo

Quit Your Day Job: Crystal Stilts

In this special Thanksgiving installment of Quit Your Day Job, Frankie Rose and I talk a lot about drinks. When not bartending at Great Jones Cafe in New York City the ex-Vivian Girl plays stand-up drums in Crystal Stilts, the...

MORE »

The Outsiders logo

The Outsiders: Vol. 21: Harry Pussy

Not all of Stereogum's favorite sounds conform to what folks expect us to cover. In this space, resident Bananafish fetishist Brandon Stosuy focuses on bands, albums, singles, and villages in Sweden that may otherwise pass by unnoticed. This installment's virtual...

MORE »

The 'Gum Drop logo

MV & EE - "Anyway"

Prolific deepwoods Vermonters Matt Valentine (who played in the excellently ramshackle Tower Recordings) and Erika Elder are back with Drone Trailer. They're not shy about releasing recordings (together and apart), but the collections often show up in limited runs or...

MORE »