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May 25, 2007

Parental Advisory: Emo-Obsessed News Reports May Contain Explicit Hysterics

They say "three's a trend," so look out parents! This emo-plague has got some legs (in black leggings) and if North Dakota and southern California succumbed to the scare-mongering, who are Utah news teams to resist? Beehive State ABC affiliate offer their investigation into "this underground culture of kids who wear black clothing and hair." Watch it here (via Gawker).

Or really, don't, 'cause you know the drill: online tests to see how deep goes your emo ("black like my soul" or "red like blood"?), quotes from kids ("they're always depressed"), how-to books, the points-for-pain program, the clothes, and the clueless parents. But nestled in there is a quote from counselor Judith Zimmerman:

I think it's hard to define what's a fashion statement, and what's a commitment to a lifestyle.
A momentary lapse of unreason. Then it's back to detailing the cutting (only for "advanced emos," grasshopper), the awesome haircuts ("The Gun Shot Wound"!), and the gender bending.

The coup de grâce, though, comes via the suicidal sounds of Ben Gibbard.

With Death Cab's "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" playing in the background, our fearful narrator says:

Suicide ... is also linked to emo culture, where on the internet, in this seemingly sweet song, a young voice sings about killing himself after the death of a lost love.
ON THE INTERNET?? Oh sorry, forgot about Death Cab For Cutie's exclusive internet-only broadcast rights of their emo-baiting, suicidal songs. Also, thank god nobody told this guy the band's name is DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE. Sadly, the Utah affiliate missed their chance to highlight emo's latest victim.

UPDATE: Ahh they slipped Spidey in at the start. Sorry ABC, we take it all back -- a very well informed, on point news piece it was.

Posted at 2:02 PM
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35 Comments

In the words of Kent Brockman, "some might say this hardly qualifies as news."

Posted by: Jeff at 05/25/07 2:46 PM | Reply
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hahaha - Even better, "Movie Script Ending" plays earlier in the clip.

Posted by: Tommy at 05/25/07 2:58 PM | Reply
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I said to friends last week that peter parker should put a dent in kids thinking emo style is cool.

Posted by: lol at 05/25/07 3:03 PM | Reply
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They also say "came out of the internet and into the music and life of teens". They need to do some fact checking. At the beginning they do mention spider-man.

Posted by: Steve at 05/25/07 3:06 PM | Reply
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I will follow you into the dark? That is one of the most beautiful songs written in the last 20 years!! I plan on playing that at my wedding in the fall (oh, my little indie wedding soundtrack how I will build you!).

Hell, I have older friends (60's) who LOVE that song and that album (hint: the coach in a certain teen werewolf movie).

The "news" just has to make people afraid of everything don't they?

Posted by: The Dude at 05/25/07 3:09 PM | Reply
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> Hell, I have older friends (60's) who
> LOVE that song and that album (hint: the
> coach in a certain teen werewolf movie).

Does this mean Emmy-winning writer/actor Jay "Patchett" Tarses will dance to Death Cab at your wedding? ;)

Posted by: scott at 05/25/07 3:30 PM | Reply
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I assume this story fell through a time warp from several years ago, when emo was just starting to be over.

Posted by: The J Train at 05/25/07 3:32 PM | Reply
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It's also a little known fact that no one, in the history of the universe, had written a song about suicide before Death Cab for Cutie did it in 2005.

It's true. Look it up.

(If they're going to rag on somebody, can't it be Bright Eyes? He makes Death Cab look like Up With People.)

Posted by: The J Train at 05/25/07 3:40 PM | Reply
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I hope these beatniks I've been told about don't bring their reefer madness to my town. I won't stand for it!

Posted by: Wesley at 05/25/07 3:43 PM | Reply
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NOT TRUE gum! The news story caught the Spiderman 3 angle, right out of the box:

"Emo is found in books, movies, and even Spiderman 3."

Posted by: Chris at 05/25/07 4:03 PM | Reply
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I was too quick to post a comment. I see you've already caught your error. Mea culpa!

Posted by: Chris at 05/25/07 4:12 PM | Reply
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"Try not to react with fear...although that is the first reaction."

Posted by: gnomead at 05/25/07 4:43 PM | Reply
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"So you'd rather hurt than think?"
"Yeah."

oh the youth of the nation...

Posted by: corey at 05/25/07 5:18 PM | Reply
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"How come I didn't know about EMO?" says the mom who is actually fucking wearing those "Old people blinders" style sunglasses.


Every single person in that video is testing the boundaries of out-of-touch-dom. It's amazing.

Posted by: czero at 05/25/07 7:00 PM | Reply
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'Advanced' emo's? I wasnt aware that there was a hierarchy of Emo kids. Amazing. Thanks Fox News.

Posted by: Ryan J at 05/25/07 7:05 PM | Reply
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I'm listening to Bright Eyes right now...next step cutting myself obviously.

Posted by: smashing at 05/25/07 7:22 PM | Reply
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smashing, i was gonna posted this pic in the side by side...

http://www.stereogum.com/img/almostpeterparker.jpg

Posted by: amrit at 05/25/07 7:56 PM | Reply
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I cannot help but LOL at them.

"OH NO!!!! My child wears eyeliner! And listens to My Chemical Romance! Screw the fact that it's a popular trend filled with poseurs, LITTLE JHONNY MUST BE SUICIEDAL!!!!!"

XD

Posted by: Crayola at 05/25/07 8:23 PM | Reply
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To be fair, though: This is Utah we're talking about- there is a very good chance that they just received their first emo songs on the radio a week or so ago...

Posted by: Smithee at 05/25/07 8:49 PM | Reply
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All this "news story" does is remind everyone that there are still a lot of incredibly stupid people in the world. Move on.

Posted by: liv at 05/25/07 9:01 PM | Reply
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this belongs in the daily show not abc news...
"knowledge is power... avoid emo pitfalls" ahahahahaha

Posted by: marsh at 05/25/07 9:16 PM | Reply
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@Tommy, well of course Movie Script Ending, which is about emo kids falling in love then committing suicide side by side.

Media is really making sense now. they choose Death Cab as an emo band, but ignores the bands that try to be emo.

Posted by: Julie at 05/25/07 10:53 PM | Reply
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This whole emo thing has gone way out of hand. I am your average indie kid, the kind that generally thinks pop culture goes too far and I remember a time when emo stood for emotional music (which wasn't very long ago, I'm only a teenager). Now all it is, is a bunch a posers trying to be cool/alternative/in-with-the-latest-trend. They are none of these things, and definately not alternative or indie.
My Chemical Romance as well as the other "emo" bands are crap. They are not the slightest bit emotional, and are just trying to make money from a trend that's caught on. Death Cab, Bright Eyes, and all the other artists people call emo are simply good musicians.
(By the way, I am in no way a typical emo stereotype trying to defend herself. I just wanted to clarify that this whole emo thing has gone too far.) Have a nice day.

Posted by: pippa at 05/26/07 10:13 AM | Reply
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Oh yeah, and people who impose harm upon themselves are generally depressed, not emo, and therefore should be treated with kindness instead of been shrugged off as following a trend.

Posted by: pippa at 05/26/07 10:19 AM | Reply
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goddam, i would kill myself too if i lived in utah. did you see those people?

Posted by: young black socrates at 05/26/07 10:34 AM | Reply
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I'm dripping blood on my keyboard at this very moment.
Damn You Death Cab! Damn you!!!!!

Tomorrow at eleven...Is Limp Bizkit making your children break stuff?!?!?!?

Posted by: Kurt C. at 05/26/07 12:02 PM | Reply
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haha my favorite part was when they were talking about the gender bending aspect of "emo" and said that the guys wear girl's pants and then showed these little flowered lacy jeans...hahahaha

Posted by: Jeff at 05/27/07 4:40 PM | Reply
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haha i agree with you jeff. something is definitely something wrong with those emo kids in utah with their girl pants with pink rick rack and flower iron-on decals my mom put on my jeans when i wanted to be a hippie for halloween one year. and when they say "emo fashion is obvious to the eye" and show a bright orange horizontal stiped polo.

plus what is up with the death cab? are they emo? have i missed something? because i'm pretty sure they play 3 different death cab songs. and they talk about a "young voice singing about suicide" ben gibbard is young? he's like early-thirties. that's not old by any means but he's not exactly the voice of the youth.

but this whole news report made me laugh out loud, a lot.

Posted by: kristin at 05/27/07 11:41 PM | Reply
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The whole emo thing and the whole yaoi and slash fiction thing are way overrated both online and offline. Somehow watching and reading gay Japanese cartoons and writing gay fan fiction is the "in" thing and it ties into the emo thing suddenly.

Posted by: ekkostar at 05/28/07 5:09 PM | Reply
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lolol ok abc

Posted by: Janea at 05/29/07 10:23 AM | Reply
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I have a better idea. Why don't we dress all them kids in Ralph Lauren, laminate them, vaccinate them, get them a Toyoto Corolla, hand them a Razr, put them in line, and flash their brains so they can join corporate america without having to think. They'll be more uselful and cause less parental anxiety. Supress subcultures.

Ahhhh, that's the world Mussolini and Hitler were dreaming of.

Posted by: Furanku at 05/29/07 11:04 PM | Reply
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"Boys wear girl pants"

Posted by: headonthedoor at 05/30/07 3:59 PM | Reply
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Isn't this the same stuff that's been going on since the first teenager roamed the planet but now the media has a new label for it, "emo", to be afraid of?

Posted by: zadnor at 05/31/07 3:48 PM | Reply
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It's bloody sad when something like a sub-genre of hardcore becomes the pin up name for depressed pathetic teenagers. Almost makes me want to stop listening to Moss Icon. Almost.

Posted by: Jess at 06/01/07 4:25 AM | Reply
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What the fuck.
Taking this whole Emo thing out of hand.
By putting the shit on tv isn't helping anything.
Just making it fucking worse.
You people are seriously pathetic.
Why don't you use your air time to investigate how many people in your town have been shot the fuck down for being so god damn nosey.
What a bunch of fucking dumb asses.
Go get a fucking life and stop butting in to other peoples.

Posted by: Mimi at 10/12/07 6:04 PM | Reply
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