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June 26, 2007

The 25 Most Ridiculous Band Names In Rock History

Fun subject for a little shit list debate, and it comes to you via Cracked.com. We've gleaned that there are a couple of stipulations in place, namely 1) your high school band is not eligible (unless you're Brandon Urie) and 2) apparently you're meant to dig deeper than just emo and hair metal bands (too easy), though a few do justly pop up on this list. Of course we have our issues, but first their Cracked out findings...

25. Porno For Pyros
24. Nickelback
23. The Alan Parsons Project
22. Stone Temple Pilots
21. Matchbox 20
20. The Smashing Pumpkins
19. Def Leppard
18. W.A.S.P.
17. Puddle Of Mudd
16. Of Montreal
15. Goo Goo Dolls
14. The The
13. Mr. Mister
12. The Mr. T Experience
11. Panic! At The Disco

10. Limp Bizkit
09. Chumbawamba
08. Enuff Z'nuff
07. Mott The Hoople
06. Hoobastank
05. Toad The Wet Sprocket
04. Thirty Odd Foot Of Grunts
03. Hootie And The Blowfish
02. Archers Of Loaf
01. !!!
First off, the Smashing Pumpkins: really that bad? Same with Of Montreal -- both sound good to us. And Limp Bizkit should be a lot higher. !!! is hell to Google, but seeing the Chkers and Archers go 1-2 on this list is painful. (Though that may just be the music fan in us talking.) Just put Hootie #1 on the name shame list and make everybody happy.

Posted at 6:28 PM in




178 Comments

What about the Beastie Boys? Check out the shit review for their latest shit album! hahahahahhahahahaahah and the proverbial ha. This will probably piss off a markus or some other sort who still defends shit music.

Posted by: meh at 06/26/07 6:48 PM | Reply
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For dumb, obvious, corny, pandering names, you simply can't do worse than "The Beatles." Almost as bad: "Paul McCartney and Wings."

OTOH, Smashing Pumpkins is a fine name for a band from Illinois, where little Billy Corgans do just that every Halloween. Maybe they just didn't get it.

Another great name: Spin Doctors.

Posted by: John S at 06/26/07 6:50 PM | Reply
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no 'anal cunt' ?

Posted by: ry at 06/26/07 7:14 PM | Reply
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Umm can you say Arctic Monkeys

Posted by: Me at 06/26/07 7:25 PM | Reply
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LoveThe Shins, but I fucking hate their name.

Posted by: bp at 06/26/07 7:27 PM | Reply
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What about "When People Were Shorter And Lived Near The Water"??? Huh??

Posted by: zube at 06/26/07 7:44 PM | Reply
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Oingo Boingo?

Posted by: Nicolas at 06/26/07 7:45 PM | Reply
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Korn

Posted by: justin at 06/26/07 7:47 PM | Reply
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Absolutely shocking that Jimmy Eat World didn't make the cut.

Posted by: Ryan at 06/26/07 7:55 PM | Reply
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I love their music, but Death Cab for Cutie is a truly awful name.

Posted by: Jonsnow at 06/26/07 7:58 PM | Reply
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Should Toad the Wet Sprocket get a pass for their name being a Monty Python reference?

Posted by: JG at 06/26/07 8:04 PM | Reply
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!!! is a cool name written down but it has to be on the list because it's lame and weird saying chk chk chk out loud to people in actual, normal conversation.
Also, ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead should be on this list only because it's the only band name where you actually have to stop and take a breath to say all of it.

Posted by: thom at 06/26/07 8:05 PM | Reply
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they might be giants?

Posted by: eli at 06/26/07 8:07 PM | Reply
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alan parsons project
thats not weird @ all

Posted by: pat at 06/26/07 8:09 PM | Reply
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WTF "meh".

I know a good band name for you. Whut about "Shut your hole". Proverbial? Nice made up word man.

Piss me off one more time Gayness and youll git it.

This post is lame. shit..

Posted by: mArKus at 06/26/07 8:25 PM | Reply
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um... The String Cheese Incident?

How about Death From Above 1979?

Honestly, are there really any band names that aren't absolute crap?

Posted by: brooks at 06/26/07 8:41 PM | Reply
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steppenwolf, deep purple, sugarcult, weezer, zz top, assorted jelly beans, bedouin soundclash, bigwig, blue oyster cult, bowling for soup, big d and the kids table, hellogoodbye, lucky boys confusion, fall out boy

Posted by: matt at 06/26/07 8:42 PM | Reply
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What? No Spinal Tap?

Posted by: schmod at 06/26/07 8:52 PM | Reply
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what about 98 degrees? they were a lot hotter than that....so that's a bad band name i think.

Posted by: pigeyes: the eye of the pig at 06/26/07 8:59 PM | Reply
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i fucking hate Cracked.com


Not one thing they said about the Stone Temple Pilots had an ounce of truth.


i stopped reading @ #21...

Posted by: Rygun at 06/26/07 9:00 PM | Reply
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No, as much as I love them, Of Montreal does belong on this list. They're the one band that I always have to use air quotes on or something.

"That band 'Montreal' is pretty cool."
"No, that's 'Of' Montreal."
"Oh, they're from Montreal?"
"No, no..."

And it took me a while to get past "Archers of Loaf", that's a pretty bad name.

Some more nominations:
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. Apples in Stereo. Racoo-oo-oon.

Posted by: tk. at 06/26/07 9:06 PM | Reply
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Lighten up, bitches.

"Smashing Pumpkins" has nothing to do with Halloween. It's British-style slang for "nice tits," basically. You figure it out.

Posted by: The Other Matthew at 06/26/07 9:11 PM | Reply
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Cajagoogoo (sp?) an absolutely atrocious band from the 80s.

Posted by: jake at 06/26/07 9:19 PM | Reply
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I have a CD from "The FVck Dolls" based out of Long Beach. Now which list does that Top?

Posted by: KaRi from TPSradio at 06/26/07 9:31 PM | Reply
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No love for ? And The Mysterians?

BEST band name I've heard was a band from around Indianapolis called "JIF And The Choosy Mothers."

Posted by: Dale Cruse at 06/26/07 9:45 PM | Reply
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Frou Frou. Just try not to sound ridiculous saying it.

"Hey guys, have you heard the new Frou Frou album? I really like Frou Frou. How can you not like Frou Frou? You wanna go see Frou Frou this Friday?"

Armageddon Dildos
The Chocolate Watchband
Mouse and the Traps
B*Witched (if only for that fucking asterisk)
Butthole Surfers
String Cheese Incident

Posted by: Alex at 06/26/07 9:46 PM | Reply
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I agree that Limp Bizkit should really top the list. but I really have to point out a big omission. I love them an all, but please guys... 'Spoon'. I think they could have gone all the way if it weren't for their name.

Posted by: Zayin_451 at 06/26/07 9:53 PM | Reply
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And on second consideration, Limp Bizkit is actually a pretty great name - easy to say - fits right into the same annunciation as "Led Zeppelin" has. Glad to see someone else beat me to Kajagoogoo.

Posted by: Dave at 06/26/07 10:36 PM | Reply
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Of Montreal sounds just fine to me. I have a hard time taking Archers of Loaf seriously on account of their name and all.

Posted by: zay at 06/26/07 10:38 PM | Reply
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Sure it's his name, but John VANDERSLICE? He should be on list for OPTING OUT of going by something that would make him sound like less of a douche bag.

Posted by: pollyesther at 06/26/07 10:43 PM | Reply
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Better Than Ezra, Rainbow Butt Monkeys, The Strawberry Alarm Clock - actually, that one was kinda cool.

Posted by: Blu at 06/26/07 10:54 PM | Reply
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I like Dave's usage of 'annunciation', as in the virgin mary being told by the archangel gabriel she is to bear the child Christ. In the same sentence as LIMP BIZKIT

carry on

Posted by: kingoffresno at 06/26/07 10:57 PM | Reply
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"Saliva". 'nuff said.

Posted by: jaybone23 at 06/26/07 11:08 PM | Reply
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I always wanted to name a metal band "graven image"

Posted by: postmastahbiotch at 06/26/07 11:25 PM | Reply
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REO Speedwagon. Horrible name, horrible band. Many of the bands on the list and those mentioned in comments are fair, good or even great. You've got hand it to REO for being band on all accounts.

Posted by: Scott at 06/26/07 11:41 PM | Reply
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butt hole surfers?

Posted by: rob at 06/27/07 12:09 AM | Reply
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I could never figure out how to say "Akron/Family," so I just say "Akron and the Family." Is that right? Still, love the band, hate that name, as well as any other band that uses a slash or a plus sign instead of just saying "and," like "Ted Leo + Pharmacists".

Posted by: Devin at 06/27/07 12:27 AM | Reply
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Though it's definitely better than Hootie and the Blowfish, "Menomena" is a pretty strange name. And "Weezer," too!

Posted by: Allison at 06/27/07 12:32 AM | Reply
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Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra & Tra-La-La Band with Choir?

Posted by: andrew at 06/27/07 12:37 AM | Reply
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Godspeed! You! Pretentious! Exclamation!
The Flaming Lips
The Shins
Cradle of Filth (has a nice ring to it, though)
Any band with incorrect spelling, numbers, or stupid punctiation
Insane Clown Posse
I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
Angels and Airwaves
Default
Finger Eleven
And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead (sometimes listed as having elipses, too)
YACHT
BARR
The Apples In Stereo
Live
WHAM!

Posted by: Bort at 06/27/07 12:41 AM | Reply
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Elbow
Godspeed You! Black Emperor
Re:
Thee Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchastra & Tra-La-La Band
...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead
Kitchens of Distinction
LSD and the Search for God
The New Pornographers
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!
(basically any band with a ! in the name)

Posted by: Joseph at 06/27/07 12:43 AM | Reply
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The Bears Can Smell The Menstruation
Oedipus and the Motherfuckers
John Cougar Concentration Camp

Posted by: Thomas at 06/27/07 12:48 AM | Reply
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austin bands could fill this list alone. here we go...

our well-known, worst offenders
1. I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
2. ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead

are we 12?
3. Monkies Doin' It
4. Armageddon It On
5. Assacre
6. Crotch on Fire
7. Slippin' Mickies

wtf?
8. Til We're Blue Of Destroy
9. Horse + Donkey
10. iKiLLCaRS
11. Woozyhelmet
12. Whole Wheat Bread
13. Human Being Lawnmower

yay! exclamations!
14. Moth! Fight!
15. Tiger! Tiger!
16. Clap! Clap!

stuttering problem?
17. Foot Foot
18. Destroyer Destroyer
19. Bark Bark Bark
20. Zibra Zibra
21. Lick Lick

death rawks!
22. Misskarrage
23. Summer of Blood
24. World Burns To Death

and last but not least... my personal favorite...

25. SuperHeavyGoatAss (yes, all one word)

ahhh austin... the live (overwhelmingly shitty) music capitol of the world

Posted by: derek at 06/27/07 12:59 AM | Reply
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WANG CHUNG.

Posted by: Hasief at 06/27/07 1:25 AM | Reply
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I Am The World Trade Center
I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business
Volcano, I'm Still Excited!

And any other band who graduated from the band naming school of ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead.

Posted by: Valerie at 06/27/07 1:35 AM | Reply
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Endangered Feces

Posted by: Joseph at 06/27/07 1:36 AM | Reply
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Oh, man.

Mr. T. Experience is an awesome band with an awesomer name!

They've had it for over 20 years now, anyway, so it's too late to change.

Posted by: Ben at 06/27/07 2:03 AM | Reply
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BAT FOR LASHES...they are some good Manimal Vinyl freakfolk!!!

Posted by: ghetto at 06/27/07 2:06 AM | Reply
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The shitty indie name fad has hit Adelaide, Australia in a bad way.
At the top of the lists we have:
Fire! Santa Rosa, Fire!
and
Jump! You Revolutionary.

Seriously, what's with all the god damn exclamation marks and other punctuation?

Still, nothing beats Thee Michelle Gun Elephant. (I think it's so ridiculous, it's genius!)

Posted by: Nathan at 06/27/07 2:22 AM | Reply
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I know this wouldn't fit anywhere on the list, but I once enjoyed listening to a Korean boy band called H.O.T. in the 2nd grade.
H.O.T. stood for High-five of Teenagers.

Posted by: Julieann at 06/27/07 2:51 AM | Reply
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Dr. Dog - great band, horrible name
Lynard Skynard - it makes me cringe at least
Chumbawumba - do I need an explanation?
The Band - yeah, we know...
The The - really, c'mon

ditto on the misspellings & numbers

Posted by: soybomb at 06/27/07 2:57 AM | Reply
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Wow... "The The" and "The Band" are pretty awesomely glaring omissions, but you can't question Question Mark and the Mysterians!

And Bort forgot BOAT in "caps lock is cruise control for cool" contest.

Posted by: tk. at 06/27/07 3:39 AM | Reply
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Imagine looking for The Music in your local CD store.

Posted by: Barns at 06/27/07 4:16 AM | Reply
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An all consonant construction like like "xbxrx" is a pretty good canidate as are bands that insist on bizzare mixtures of lower and uppercase letters like Dallas band "girlsRISEwithHEAT" (Bonus points for no spaces as well.)

Posted by: Nicolas at 06/27/07 5:24 AM | Reply
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Surely no list of appalling band names can get away without Test Icicles, although latest NME hypes Joe Lean And The Jing Jang Jong come close.

Posted by: Simon at 06/27/07 5:35 AM | Reply
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I agree with Saliva, Test Icicles and The The. I always thought U2 had a really corny name.

Posted by: bob at 06/27/07 7:05 AM | Reply
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ahem....Matchbox 20 was only Matchbox 20 for their first album. Since 2000's Mad Season they have been "matchbox twenty" - all lower case, no numbers. ahem. just thought ya might like to know.

Posted by: stephen at 06/27/07 7:06 AM | Reply
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turbonegro?

Posted by: .. at 06/27/07 7:43 AM | Reply
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Hey, don't sleep on Anal Cunt from Boston. Check out their A Team theme cover.

Posted by: Perry at 06/27/07 8:09 AM | Reply
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Sufjan Stevens... I mean, c'mon -- what is that?

Posted by: bB at 06/27/07 8:35 AM | Reply
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I can't believe no one has mentioned Zoogz Rift and his Amazing Shitheads yet.

Posted by: Phil at 06/27/07 8:37 AM | Reply
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echo and the bunnymen

Posted by: anon hater at 06/27/07 8:52 AM | Reply
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RE: What? No Spinal Tap?
Actually they came in at number 27. Right after Puppet Show.

Posted by: furry_tom at 06/27/07 8:53 AM | Reply
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I agree: The Music and The Band are way too generic. At least the latter had a reason for their title; "The Music" just comes off as sheer laziness.

Unpronounceable/ungoogleable names like !!! ("chk-chk-chk"?) and Sunn 0))) can grate... but I admire their stubborn commitment to semi-obscurity that their chosen moniker dictates.

More-than-a-mouthful/"clever" names like A Bullet For My Valentine, Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, and Cute Is What We Aim For always evoke cringes. Four syllables max, for just about any quality band name, says I.

More exclamation point bullshit:
On! Air! Library! (saw them live with Interpol and were actually quite good, but are now defunct)

The AVClub put up an excellent, brain damage-inducing roundup of last year's absolute worst:
http://www.avclub.com/content/node/57488

Choice selections:
Brutal Dildos
Honkytonk Homeslice
Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza (seriously, WTF?)
Here Comes Old Vodka Tits

Death metal bands never cease to amaze by their vapid attempts at scandalous obscenity. Too many examples to cite; just combine something along the lines of [dead body (preferably a child)]+[religious reference]+[verb denoting fornication or murder]

Oh, and enough with bands having the words "fire/flame," "wolf," "white," or "black." Too goddamn many already.

Posted by: swiley at 06/27/07 9:24 AM | Reply
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Yeah Yeah Yeahs - who forgot them?
And "Cute is What We Aim For" never quite tripped my trigger. It's like they shot Death Cab for Cutie or something. Stupid.

Posted by: Rochelle Nikita at 06/27/07 9:27 AM | Reply
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GODSMACK
SOLAR ANUS

Posted by: erk at 06/27/07 9:40 AM | Reply
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Isn't there a band on the charts right now that goes by the name Skillet? Now that's a shit band name.

Posted by: ag at 06/27/07 9:52 AM | Reply
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elvis hitler ?

Posted by: bug at 06/27/07 10:02 AM | Reply
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Staind
The Disco Biscuits
Crash Test Dummies
Weather Report
The Velvet Underground (possibly the highest ratio of awesomeness to shit band name)
String Cheese Incident
At The Drive-In
Steely Dan
Savage Garden
Neutral Milk Hotel
The Guess Who
Fountains of Wayne
Lollipop Lust Kill

Posted by: hulking newt at 06/27/07 10:23 AM | Reply
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Four words: Red Hot Chili Peppers.

And I know we're not supposed to reference metal, but "Cattle Decapitation" might be the worst band ever in the history of ever.

Posted by: keram at 06/27/07 10:46 AM | Reply
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HOOBASTANK...I mean come on...

Posted by: stephen at 06/27/07 11:06 AM | Reply
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You are all forgetting about the worst band name of all time:
CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH

Posted by: Jables at 06/27/07 11:19 AM | Reply
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gorky's zygotic mynci outta be up there

Posted by: shabba rich at 06/27/07 11:21 AM | Reply
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Some of these are more obscure than others...

The Automatic Automatic
T.I.T.S.
Measles Mumps Rubella
They Shoot Horses Don't They
Tralala
Someone Still Love You Boris Yeltsin (love it or hate it)
!!!
Priestbird
Shout Out Out Out Out (wait, is that 3 or 4 outs?)
I love them, but Handsome Furs???

Posted by: Eric at 06/27/07 11:32 AM | Reply
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HELLO! the Vaselines, my chemical romance come on!

Posted by: aaron at 06/27/07 11:44 AM | Reply
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Modest mouse.....
Simple Minds.....
My Bloody Valentine (I mean come on).....

Posted by: Danothebaldyheid at 06/27/07 11:45 AM | Reply
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I remember a review years ago in a hardrock magazine of an EP by a band called Vampire State Building. Actually, I have always remembered it because I thought it was such a brilliant name, but I figured I'd post it here anyway :)

Posted by: Maarten at 06/27/07 12:15 PM | Reply
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what about dm21-i21-39mna ?

Posted by: Carol at 06/27/07 12:17 PM | Reply
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Circle of Dead Children

Posted by: Kurt C. at 06/27/07 12:27 PM | Reply
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Wake Up on Fire
Boyz II Men

Posted by: jdögg at 06/27/07 12:38 PM | Reply
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Where's Godspeed You! Black Emperor?

Posted by: Josh at 06/27/07 1:13 PM | Reply
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Can we start a Best Band Names ever list? I'll submit the best one I've ever heard:

Probably Vampires

Posted by: pollyesther at 06/27/07 1:19 PM | Reply
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I am a big Jason Molina fan, but nonetheless, Songs:Ohia was a terrible name. Magnolia Electric Co is much better.

Posted by: Nate at 06/27/07 1:21 PM | Reply
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OOIIOO

Posted by: KMM at 06/27/07 1:30 PM | Reply
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Shit Disco anyone? I also hate Babyshambles, as it ruins a legitimately badass, rock-star reputation. And no one has mentioned the annoying period of Prince using some doodle sign.

Also, NME has a weekly nomination of worst band names. Most of unheard of, but still makes you think. Why start a band if it no one can say the bands name with a straight face?

Posted by: Nick at 06/27/07 1:43 PM | Reply
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what about the Samuel Jackson Five? Great postrock band and a really ridiculous band name...

Posted by: Thomas at 06/27/07 1:44 PM | Reply
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New Fast Automatic Daffodils

Posted by: Struikrover at 06/27/07 1:49 PM | Reply
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I gotta admit, much as I love Of Montreal, any band that starts their name with a preposition such as Of is sorta asking for it.

Also, Final Fantasy.I love his work, but his name so hard to explain without confusion.

Posted by: A at 06/27/07 2:16 PM | Reply
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Though not a real band (from the British TV show Peep Show), I always liked/hated 'Mama's Cumquat'.

Posted by: Retardo at 06/27/07 2:24 PM | Reply
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I think Minus the Bear is such a stupid band name. I refuse to listen to that band based on that horrid name alone.

Posted by: Z at 06/27/07 3:10 PM | Reply
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Puddle of Mudd is a perfectly reasonable name (band sucks though) and the Smashing Pumpkins is a joke that sounds cool. And Anal Cunt and Meat Shits deserve a place as well.

Posted by: Gabriel at 06/27/07 3:12 PM | Reply
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What do you think about The Circle Jerks..

Posted by: frank at 06/27/07 3:40 PM | Reply
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yeah, 'better than ezra' is a terrible, awful band name. other nominees - spooky tooth, sigue sigue sputnik, who else - blue swede, nurse with wound, bone thugs 'n' harmony, dead kennedys (is not on the list!!!???), revolting cocks, steely dan, orchestral maneuvers in the dark, nitzer ebb, gwar, PM Dawn, ok i better stop with that! agree with 'clap your hands say yeah' - ugh dear god...but i think most indie rock bands coming out these days have names which are way too self-consciously trying to be cutesy, its really annoying.

Posted by: benj at 06/27/07 4:23 PM | Reply
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oh my god, how could I forget 80's canadian 'rockers' - THE BLOW MONKEYS

???

Posted by: benj at 06/27/07 4:30 PM | Reply
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What about God Lives Underwater

Posted by: abe at 06/27/07 5:23 PM | Reply
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Puddle of Mudd is absolutely not a reasonable band name, unless you use the rationale that spelling "mudd" with two "d"s is insanely stupid, and thus fitting for an insanely stupid band.
This is one of the only band names on Cracked's list that I thought really deserved it.

The Mr. T Experience is an awesomely-named awesome band. For reals. And Fountains of Wayne is a cool name too.

I have to put a vote in for Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! Put them in with Puddle of Mudd in the category of "bands with stupid names that suck," along with Cute Is What We Aim For.

Scary Kids Scaring Kids is a crap name.

I hope someone names a band Clit-Ass-Trophy someday (rhymes with "catastrophe"), and makes a list like this one.

The more I think about it and visualize, the cooler "Porno For Pyros" really is.

Posted by: Chizza at 06/27/07 5:41 PM | Reply
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Simian Mobile Disco is a stupid name, imo, as well.

Posted by: Z at 06/27/07 5:55 PM | Reply
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sunn 0)))

Posted by: japie at 06/27/07 7:31 PM | Reply
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okay, not a big fan of their music, but panic! at the disco is a perfect name for the band- circus-y, emo-y, c'mon

Posted by: ben at 06/27/07 9:57 PM | Reply
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i feel like The The should be on here. who am i to say, though?

Posted by: mitchell at 06/28/07 1:02 AM | Reply
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The The are #14 on the list.

Posted by: Ju Bean at 06/28/07 1:11 AM | Reply
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it's really too bad that !!! didn't make the list.

that's most annoying of all names in history..

Posted by: Rygun at 06/28/07 1:41 AM | Reply
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Godspeed You! Black Emperor, ring any bells?

Posted by: coop at 06/28/07 3:22 AM | Reply
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I'm going to have to go out on a luimb here and say "Radiohead" is the shittest band name in history. Shit band, shit name. Total shit.

Posted by: Neilo at 06/28/07 7:50 AM | Reply
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And before it turns into pedants corner here, apologies for the misspelling of "limb" in my previous post.

Posted by: Neilo at 06/28/07 7:52 AM | Reply
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Re: Rygun at June 28, 2007 1:41 AM
it's really too bad that !!! didn't make the list.

that's most annoying of all names in history..
--------------------------

Checck it again. It's Number 1.

Posted by: Joseph at 06/28/07 7:54 AM | Reply
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You left out "String Cheese Incident."

That was a mistake.

Admit it, Stereogum, you made a mistake. You forgot about String Cheese Incident, didn't you? Admit it!

Posted by: Ned at 06/28/07 10:34 AM | Reply
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Deep Blue Something
The Slugs Tits
(and although I love them) Duran Duran

Posted by: Laura at 06/28/07 10:35 AM | Reply
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Just an fyi The Automatic Automatic are really just The Automatic, I guess they had to change it because a US band already had the name.

Posted by: Meredith at 06/28/07 10:58 AM | Reply
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I truly dislike Alexisonfire

Posted by: Claire at 06/28/07 11:51 AM | Reply
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Ditto Alexisonfire. Is it supposed to be Alex Is on Fire or Alexis on Fire? Fuck that.

I love Duran Duran, too, but their name is crap. Maybe that's why I think Duran Duran Duran is such an awesome name.

As for all of the crappy emo/metal bands like on Fuse or whatever, how hard is it to come up with a GOOD word to name you band after? Not something that sounds like the main character in some lonely English major's unpublished fantasy novel.

I'm guilty of the ! sin. I started a band last year called Yes We Can!. But that wasn't as bad as my bass player's subsequent metal band Aunt Rosie's Roadside Freakshow. My friend Derek and I tried to start a band, but we spent more time trying to come up with a good name before we settled on Eck, a reference to Johnny Eckhart, which is terrible. I would've gone with Khango, which is equally terrible. His friend Matt had an ridiculous (in a good way) name for a metal band, however: Death or Death. I chuckle whenever someone mentions it. Sorry if I seem like I'm plugging a bunch of bands I was in, but I'm just saying coming up with a name is hard business. In all fairness, all of these bands are defunct and never recorded anything.

Oh yeah, I was glad to see Natives of the New Dawn make the AV Club list. The only reason I knew about them was because I knew the lead singer's underage girlfriend. But they're based in Detroit and both of us lived in North Carolina. The last time I saw that girl was the first half of her senior year of high school when she threw up and passed out on the floor of my drama class and never came back to school. Then I found out she had a baby. But anyway, that's a shitty, pretentious name by a band with a shit sound.

I think I'm done.

Posted by: fido at 06/28/07 12:50 PM | Reply
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Oh yeah, as for Akron/Family, I've always just said "Akron Family."

Posted by: fido at 06/28/07 2:08 PM | Reply
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There is a vast goldmine of awful band names that has yet to be tapped on this thread, and that is band names with "ska" in them. Some of the worst include:
The Skaskank Redemption (I'm pretty sure there were two bands named this for awhile)

Oskama bin' Skankin' and the Skaliband (for real; they have a MySpace page)

Skanorrhea and the Burning Sensations

Posted by: C Hovah at 06/28/07 2:34 PM | Reply
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I'm not too upset with this list, but it is missing an awesome and awesomely bad named band: A Hawk and a Hacksaw.

Most inappropriately named band? Barenaked Ladies. For obvious, testosterone related reasons.

And while I love them, I do think Kings of Convenience is a pretty stupid name.

Posted by: Robert at 06/28/07 2:38 PM | Reply
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BeatallicA ... and their album- Sergeant Hetfield and the Motorbreath Pub Band. Shitty band and even worse name.
I agreed re:Limp Bizkit. They should win anything that helps them carry on their heavy weight champions of suck title.

Posted by: Steev at 06/28/07 3:36 PM | Reply
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Shittiest Name Ever + Shittiest Band Ever = Shiny Toy Guns

Posted by: mrs at 06/28/07 3:52 PM | Reply
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The exclamation point thing is way overdone at this point. Bring on the question mark!

Alexisonfire?
Akron/Family?
!!!?
Limp Bizkit?

Ah...that'll be the day...

Posted by: susie q at 06/28/07 7:01 PM | Reply
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I'd like to submit a band name to the post calling for best names of all time.

My entries:
The Damned
The Sex Pistols
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
Black Sabbath

Posted by: garrison beau scott at 06/28/07 9:36 PM | Reply
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slaughter and the dogs, wham, urban cookie collective, mr wiggles magic skin flute, ok that last one i made up but i think i might rename my band it now

Posted by: jason blackburn at 06/28/07 11:18 PM | Reply
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oh yeah i forgort sigue sigue sputnick, explain that one for me please

Posted by: jason blackburn at 06/28/07 11:19 PM | Reply
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and neds atomic dustbin, what drugs were them fuckers on

Posted by: jason blackburn at 06/28/07 11:23 PM | Reply
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I just thought of one. Fisted Sister. If that's not a band, it needs to be.

Posted by: Dallas, NC at 06/29/07 1:19 AM | Reply
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I'm glad to see that people here are really digging up the good ones, since the original list is really lame. Half of the list are actually fairly smart names (although pretty lame) that the list maker apparently didn't get and have proven their ability to stick in our minds over the years. I personally think Panic! at the disco is a great name, although I don't like the music. !!! deserves a prize for being so annoying that everyone talks about the name, even if they've never heard the music. That suits the attitude of the band too.

Here's my two cents:
- The Sisters of Mercy (one of my fave bands, but what the fuck!)
- All Girl Summer Fun Band
- The Kevin Costners

Posted by: reeks at 06/29/07 4:01 AM | Reply
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BILLY TALENT. makes me cringe every time i hear it.

Posted by: hhhh at 06/29/07 6:41 AM | Reply
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What about Butthole Surfers?
Halo of Flies...kind of like the imagery, though.

Posted by: fearsarewishes at 06/29/07 7:52 AM | Reply
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How about Barnyard Slut?

Posted by: Jake at 06/29/07 11:05 AM | Reply
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Oh yeah. Professor Murder. Love them, but dumb name. I know that it's intentionally stupid (which suits them) and it's a Mr. Show reference, but still, Professor Murder? It's just kind of awkward. I like it and dislike it at the same time.

Posted by: fido at 06/29/07 12:56 PM | Reply
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#1 most rediculous band name of all time...

GOBLIN COCK

Posted by: Tim at 06/29/07 3:13 PM | Reply
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Bachman Turner Overdrive.

I think the 70s win for bad band names. Bachman Turner Overdrive is my least favorite. At least others are trying to be silly/funny. BTO is trying to be badass (!Overdrive!) but end up sounding like a lawfirm.

I guess it's an improvement over their original name - Brave Belt.

Posted by: Derek Sunshine at 06/29/07 3:23 PM | Reply
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NEW FAST AUTOMATIC DAFFODILS

(from Manchester UK, had a minor alt radio hit with "Stockholm, and defo the worst name ever)

Posted by: c dub ya at 06/29/07 4:22 PM | Reply
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mmm... powerman 5000?

Posted by: Janea at 06/29/07 7:13 PM | Reply
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That SHTEWpid new one: Mute Math
?!

Posted by: Cat P at 06/29/07 11:12 PM | Reply
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How has no one mentioned Harvey Danger, the shittiest fucking name in recorded human history?

Posted by: Helen at 06/30/07 12:21 AM | Reply
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Butthole Surfers belongs simultaneously in the top 5 best and worst band names of all time.

Posted by: ixat at 06/30/07 12:41 AM | Reply
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yeah, i don't really like their music at all, but me first and the gimme gimmes is probably the best band name i've ever heard of.

Posted by: alex at 06/30/07 1:13 AM | Reply
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Has anyone here mentioned Nashville Pussy? Ick.

Posted by: Valerie at 06/30/07 2:59 AM | Reply
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Or Harry Pussy, for that matter? Pussy Galore?

Posted by: fido at 06/30/07 7:20 AM | Reply
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"Southern Culture On The Skids"?

Posted by: Andy at 06/30/07 9:24 AM | Reply
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Sweatpant Boners

Posted by: the listenerd at 06/30/07 1:45 PM | Reply
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Fall Out Boy
should be on there somewhere.
Green Day...(they are great), but what's up with they name?
Green Jelly (really wtf?)
Foo fighters (what's a foo)
the Beastie Boys
Dixi Chix (they suck, and what's a dixi, that's now how you spell CHICKS)
there are so many more retarded names, that have absoutley no meaning what so ever.

Posted by: Taylor at 06/30/07 11:58 PM | Reply
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i'm going through my iTunes:
ambulance ltd.
big japan
big star
cat power
dntel
electric light orchestra
every move a picture
enon
goldfrapp
her space holiday
king crimson
murder city devils
the sea and cake
silversun pickups
the starlight mints
stellastarr*
stereo total
these arms are snakes
weezer

c'mon, cracked.com.

Posted by: rue at 07/01/07 9:34 PM | Reply
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this band i once knew....'lame and bitching on music blogs about worthless shit' comes to mind.

Posted by: joeyjoe at 07/01/07 11:17 PM | Reply
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foo fighters is understandable... im gonna say, the "ozark mountain daredevils" should be in there if STP is in there, and how bout the butthole surfers ... pink floyd... pretty much 8-9 out of 10 names on any list are rediculous

Posted by: ben at 07/02/07 2:05 AM | Reply
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led zeppelin .. they are the only band i can truly think of with a great and meaningful name... killswitch engage... that has some meaning because of their musical direction ........... judas priest, another symbolization of the standings of the band .... the who is good cuz its kinda a joke and the rolling stones pictured their success within their name ... alterbridge - theres one, since they are supposedly a christian alternative rock group . im just wonderin how the beatles are bad? they changed their name to be catchy but contain the word "beat"... if thats ridiculous then i dont know wat earths coming to

Posted by: ben at 07/02/07 2:10 AM | Reply
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DANITY KANE.

And, on a tangent, () is the stupidest name for an album (or just plain the worst title for anything) - ever.

Posted by: sans d at 07/02/07 8:49 AM | Reply
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How come no one has said jimmie's chicken shack yet? God that's such a piece of shit band name along with...
the all-american rejects
am/fm
au
audioslave
biffy clyro
blessid union of souls
brand new
buckcherry
cross my heart
our lady peace...i can't take this anymore my list ends.

Posted by: jon at 07/02/07 9:15 AM | Reply
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Cross My Heart were awesome. I just have to say that because no one knows them.

Posted by: Rob in reply to jon's comment at 07/01/09 12:34 AM | Reply
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'Smashing Pumpkins is British slang for nice tits.'

Uh, no it isn't.

Posted by: Neil Wheatley at 07/02/07 10:09 AM | Reply
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The Dead Kenny-G's

The Steve Gutenband

Skabba The Hut (Bravery fans?...)

The Ass Ponys

All of these are equally amazing as they are bad.

There is also a band kicking around upstate New York and beyond (whom I am a huge fan of) called:

Giant Panda Guerilla Dub Squad

Posted by: Tal at 07/02/07 12:19 PM | Reply
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I think that !!! should be given honorable mention for creating a bandname that, when spoken out loud, makes the speaker sound like they have some horrendous vocal tick. For instance, when I was raving to my mother about seeing !!! live, I was forced to repeatedly say the chk chk chk, and just the next day she took me to get a catscan to be sure I didn't have some brain tumor destroying my vocal abilities, and when that came back fine I was shuffled straight over to the vocal therapist. I quickly became the golden boy by overcoming my pre-mammalian guttural throat stutter in record time, but it was still a rather unneeded excursion all on account of a band.

Posted by: tcv at 07/02/07 12:36 PM | Reply
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^ Ha!

I agree with the whole "incorrect spelling and numbers" thing. Worst ones I can think of that no one's mentioned:

Little Blue Crunchy Things (I saw them once on the Jenny Lewis show and I only remember them because of their hideous name).
Dope
Bran Van 3000
Ted Nugent Probably Smells Like Corn Chips
The Number 12 Looks Like You (I hate it because they're obviously *trying* to come up with a crappy name, and yet it's so bad that it's almost avant garde.)

The best band name I can think of is a band from my high school called The Atoms Family.

Posted by: Jason Robots at 07/02/07 8:16 PM | Reply
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The best band name "Duran Duran Duran"

I was pretty disappointed in America when "Fall Out Boy" became legit.

Really? A Simpsons reference...? Thats good enough for you?

sigh...

Posted by: Jake at 07/03/07 12:39 AM | Reply
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Electric Lights Flashing Very Fast. Pretty good band, but still.
And Def Leppard is an awesome band name, as is The Smashing Pumpkins, but I'm glad to see Chumbawamba made the list.

Posted by: Becky at 07/03/07 1:59 AM | Reply
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Hm, I've never heard of Number Twelve Looks Like You before, but I'm intrigued. Always fun to meet a fellow Twilight Zone enthusiast.

Posted by: Becky at 07/03/07 2:02 AM | Reply
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Haircut 100

Posted by: Joe at 07/03/07 1:13 PM | Reply
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"Spookytooth" ................ ftw

Posted by: Jeremiah Ganz at 07/03/07 2:03 PM | Reply
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Lothar & the Hand People

Posted by: Mike at 07/03/07 3:16 PM | Reply
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Echo and the bunnymen? Sounds amzazing, but is absolute rubbish.

Posted by: Dan at 07/03/07 4:35 PM | Reply
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Did anyone mention Snow Patrol? Maybe it should be Yellow Snow Patrol.

Posted by: tyke at 07/03/07 7:47 PM | Reply
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MEN WITHOUT HATS - dumbest band name of all time.

Posted by: chuck at 07/03/07 8:03 PM | Reply
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I do not like it when bands leave out punctuation such as Gatsbys American Dream and Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin.

Posted by: Jesse at 07/03/07 11:25 PM | Reply
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BANANARAMA people... BANANARAMA.

Posted by: Evy at 07/04/07 1:39 AM | Reply
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"there are so many more retarded names, that have absoutley no meaning what so ever."

Foo Fighters are named after a bit of WWII jargon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foo_fighter). And if you don't know what Dixie (which you misspelled) means, you must not be from the US. Maybe you should look things up before assuming that they're meaningless.

Posted by: obvious at 07/04/07 11:12 PM | Reply
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Hentai Cum dungeon. Real Band I swear.

Posted by: Caio at 07/05/07 10:40 AM | Reply
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wow, there are some really terrible, stupid suggestions on here. for most ridiculous band name of all time, someone suggests 'big star'? what an idiot!

Posted by: benj at 07/05/07 5:02 PM | Reply
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I haven't read all the comments, but Vomit Launch's career was certainly hindered by its name.

Iowa City, Iowa once had bands called Marcia Brady's Tits and Odlid! (the exclamation point is part of the band's name; spell it backwards and wonder how their CD ever got sold at Wal-Mart).

Posted by: Sarah at 07/05/07 7:22 PM | Reply
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This changed from "Worst band names" to "Best band names" really fast.

What about Betty's Not A Vitamin?

Or Gaye Bykers on Acid (here we go with misspellings again) or their counterparts, Lesbian Dopeheads on Mopeds?

Posted by: Sarah at 07/05/07 7:29 PM | Reply
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yeah !!! whoo!!!

Posted by: awesome man at 07/06/07 4:21 AM | Reply
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Leftover Salmon!

Posted by: JD at 07/06/07 3:24 PM | Reply
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um...what about PEARL JAM ? Come on (er, pardon the pun). How'd they ever get away with that anyway?

Posted by: sammyP at 07/07/07 8:51 PM | Reply
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What about the ones like MC Hammer to Hammer?
or Puff Daddy to P Diddy to just Diddy?

There are so many but these are mostly ridiculous:
Bubba Sparxxx
Dirty On Purpose
Thunderbirds Are Now!
The Go! Team
Eminem
Architecture in Helsinki
Hot Hot Heat
Zero 7
She Wants Revenge
My Morning Jacket
Bitter:Sweet (not too many with colons are there)
Clear Static (another oxymoron)
The Boy Least Likely To
The Like
Silversun Pickups
Be Your Own Pet
Elbow
Nine Black Alps
Shout Out Louds
Stars of Track and Field
Aqualung
Film School
Dashboard Confessional
Boys Like Girls
They Shoot Horses, Don't They
The Academy Is...
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - one of the first bad ones I immediately took notice to

Genius:
Sam Champion - He's a NYC area weatherman.
Le Castle Vania
Air - genius or ridiculous?
Test Icicles - I love it
His Boy Elroy
CunninLynguists

Posted by: Matt at 07/08/07 12:41 AM | Reply
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Actually, Eminem is pretty clever when you think about it. Eminem = M&M = Marshall Mathers - his initials.

Posted by: Cynthia at 07/10/07 12:13 PM | Reply
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Super Furry Animals
SPiTZZ
Ween

Posted by: Edgar Allen Bro at 07/11/07 9:03 AM | Reply
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wat about falloutboy??
i mean i love them but seriously?? wat kind of name is that??

and is anybody else actually reading the list?? i keep seeing commetns for 'why isnt smashing pumkins or the the on there? casue those are really weird names 2!'

well if you arent a complete retard and if u look on the list you will see that they ARE ACTUALLY THERE ON THE STUPID LIST!!!!!

glad i could be of service :)

Posted by: ash-o-lee at 07/13/07 2:02 AM | Reply
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Fall Out Boy
Bullet For My Valentine
Pavement
Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Not sure if it counts because it's a fictional band but it's goddamn stupid.)
Harry and the Potters and all derivatives (Draco and the Malfoys, Ron and the Weasleys, etc)

(and it's Brendon Urie. Just thought I should point that out. Otherwise you'd get mauled by 14-year-old weemo's)

Posted by: Crayola at 07/20/07 1:56 PM | Reply
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Hey Neil Wheatley! Thanks for considering us in your personal most ridiculous band name in rock history.
For those who don't "get" the name, go rent Police Academy.
Four: Citizens on Patrol.
or Short Circuit.
3 Men and a Baby. Classic.

Posted by: the Steve GutenBAND at 07/24/07 1:29 AM | Reply
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WHAT ABOUT THE FOX BORO HOT TUBBS?????!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Dakotah at 03/10/09 8:48 PM | Reply
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Uhh,
3OH!3 (Its said like 3 0 3)
The Academy Is......
Blink-182
Cannibal Corpse (can't believe nobody got that)
The Devil Wears Prada
Backseat Goodbye
Brokencyde
Bullet for my Valentine
Chiodos
Dance Gavin Dance
Dot Dot Curve :) (yes the smiley is part of it)
Eiffel 65
Escape the Fate
Every Time I Die
Goatwhore
Hey Monday ( Huh?)
Hyper Crush
I am X-Ray
LMFAO (come on guys......)
Never Shout Never!
Nickasaur!
The Number Twelve Looks Like You
PlayRadioPlay
Slow Motion Noise
Suicide Silence
Tune Up!
Ultra Violent Sound
Watchout! Theres Ghosts!

Any of these could have made that list.....
And I'm not just bagging on bands I don't like. Some of these are from my Itunes, and some are from my friends with, well, poor taste in music.. haha.

Posted by: Bassplayer at 03/25/09 12:42 PM | Reply
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