Shorting The Hollywood Undead
Prediction markets are all the rage these days. Got a line on the Idol final? Bet big money on your Jordan hunch here. Dig Bruce Campbell's rendition of "Hungry Like the Wolf"? Buy low, before his comeback really catches fire!
But what about music? Since we stopped spending so much on CDs, we've been itching to throw some money at something rock related, and finally, our horse has come in: Media Predict, a futures market for bands. According to NYT, the site allows you to place wagers on "the chances that unsigned musicians who currently top the rankings on MySpace.com, the social networking site, will get a record deal." If the band signs, the price goes to $100. If the band craps out by the specified date, your investment drops to $0 and you end up destitute and alone, like the degenerate gambler you are. In the meantime, the price fluctuates based on what other people think. Truly, we are living in awesome times.
But before you hit the site, we thought we'd give you a quick overview of some of the bands you'll have a chance to buy low, along with our official analyst ratings.
Jeffree Star
He looks like a cross between Marilyn Manson and the Lorax. He sounds like the Pet Shop Boys covering Paul Barman. And we don't mean any of that as a compliment.
Rating: Strong Sell
Hollywood Undead
Try to remember the worst Limp Bizkit song ever. Got it? Now, imagine some songs that are much, much worse.
Rating: Strong Sell
The Scene Aesthetic
Two earnest young men with guitars. Neither of them can sing, but they sure do look cute trying!
Rating: Sell
The Medic Droid
One part Killers, one part "Club Hits '92." A little heavy on the vocoder, but at least the name is sort of cool. Sort of.
Rating: Hold
Ingrid Michaelson
We had a Lisa Loeb joke all lined up here, until we heard her song on the Grey's Anatomy season finale. And we all know what that means.
Rating: Huge, raging buy!
Remember, you're betting on whether any of these bands will snag a major or indie-label contract by September. So sign up, grab your (fake) $5K, and get ready to play kingmaker! And if you have any other music-related bets you want to make, we're all ears.
Posted at 11:53 AM
All hail The Chin!
Score = 0
i thought the hollywood undead were the first signing to Myspace Records?? Did the label fall through?
Score = -2
I can't say Hollywood Undead is worse than Limp Bizkit, for one simple fact: on their myspace song "Bitches," it sounds like Weird Al Yankovic is on backing vocals. Are people taking this group seriously?
Score = -1
i like to think that the hollywood undead are a joke of some kind... who can tell anymore?
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YES, we are taking this band seriously.
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I know H.U. and personally i think you guys are pathetic. If you are going to diss anyone maybe check the mirror... I mean do you know how much crap this group went through before they even got close to make CD's? didnt think so.
Ohh andyou arent taking this band seriously, you are just being immature and pathetic living people.
Score = 1
u guys can suck it hollywood undead is awesome n probably fucking ur mom right now
Score = 2
all you fuckers that were talking shit about H.U don't know shit. have you even heard their music? Perhaps you just don't relate to their music in that case shut your cocksucker
Score = 1
Why does everyone hate on Limp Bizkit? Just because they try to hard to be hardcore, nothing is wrong with that. The Scene Aesthetic? They are an amazing acoustic band. How many other bands go all acoustic? Seriously. Leave them alone.
Now my real problem, how can you not love hollywood undead? They are amazing. You can sit there and say they suck, then go and make some bettet music. Everything they say is so well planned out, and very treu. By addressing real issues such as scene kids and drugs and teen isolaation, they achieve success. They are a spokesperson for the silent kids. You can say they are no more than some random group of druggies that just curse and make fun of gays, but they are very enlightened.
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hollywood undead makes me so hot, i aint even playin anyone who is hatin on them is just jealous!!!!
Score = 2
Hollywood Undead rock my socks and i dont care what you haters say!
Score = 1
Hollywood Undead was signed to an Interscope Records sub-label in 2007 (before this article was written), so the discussion is irrelevant.
Score = 1
Hollywood Undead is a kickass band, yes some of their songs can be taken as a joke but listen to their new CD and it shows their true thoughts, their lyrics can be so true and apply to people. They just released a 15 min interview with the band on their site and it states exactly what they are trying to do with their music. So honestly before you start saying shit bout this great band watch that, they have gone through more shit than most of you hating on them have and all their songs are from real life experiances. OVERALL, I dont care if you dont like the band but they have gone through too much to give a fuck what you say anyways.
Score = 1
FUCK THESE HATERS WE SEE.. BECAUSE I HATE THAT YOU BREATH.. I SEE YOU DUCK.. YOU LITTLE PUNKS.. YOU LITTLE FUCKING DISEASES..... HU ARMY STAND UP WHILE ALL THESE PUSSY SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
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Lol Hollywood Undead is amazing. Not to mention, they are extremely intelligent guys. I give them much recognition for being so different in their genre and style. Yeah, I guess you can say their songs can be silly, but at least they are being true. Not to mention, they turned down a record label to stay true to their lyrics and beats. I love Hollywood Undead.
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I find it really ironic that both Jefree Star and Hollywood Undead are both listed here as the first time I heard Hollywood Undead's song "Undead" I thought the chorus sounded a lot like Jefree Star.
Score = -1