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September 28, 2005

SWM Sks 1 4 CYHSY

From Fishbowl LA:

I'm on assignment for a national indie music magazine (no, not Pitchfork) to review the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah show at the Troubadour on 10/5. All of my friends already landed their own tickets, so I thought I could use my +1 to meet someone new.

You: Eastsider, knows the band already, appears semi-regularly on Cobrasnake.com, okay with being ignored while I take notes for the review.

Me: pretty much what you'd expect.

Reply by Oct. 1st. Pics are, of course, a must. No fatties.

I had to read this twice to make sure he they didn't actually identify any genders. Hotties of all sexes who don't mind being ignored, fire away!

As far as the "pretty much what you'd expect" part goes, I can only think of this description from a thesis about ILM and "rockism":

  • 24-35.
  • Has had sex with around five people.
  • Drinks, maybe smokes socially, inc. pot; no harder drugs.
  • Works in either computers or something tangentially related to the entertainment industry.
  • Out of shape.
  • In debt/still paying student loans.
  • Attended at least one Lollapalooza.
  • Has worn an ironic t-shirt at some point in his or her life, AND then later decried ironic t-shirts.
  • Grew up in a suburb of a major city.

(Updated post excerpt per baggy's suggestion. How, indeed, could I leave out the fatties?)

Posted at 10:22 AM
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20 Comments

How come you didn't include the "No Fatties" part?

Oh...and first comment bitches!

sh

Posted by: baggy at 09/28/05 10:48 AM  | Reply
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Good catch, baggy.

Posted by: Jim at 09/28/05 10:51 AM  | Reply
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You look like David Bowie
But you've nothing new to show me

Start another fire
And watch it slowly die

Posted by: nyles at 09/28/05 10:59 AM  | Reply
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You posted this just to start a flame war; I can tell. My blood pressure's rising on account of this douche, but I will not take the bait.

Posted by: janine at 09/28/05 11:02 AM  | Reply
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If I wanted to start a flame war, I'd have called the post "Not Pitchfork? What else is there?".

On second thought...

Posted by: Jim at 09/28/05 11:03 AM  | Reply
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What a coincidence, my turn-ons include being ignored while people take notes...

Posted by: Josh at 09/28/05 11:05 AM  | Reply
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Wow, that national indie mag must be really struggling these days...

Posted by: jackson at 09/28/05 11:26 AM  | Reply
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Why did you assume it's a guy looking for a date?

Posted by: Rachel at 09/28/05 11:43 AM  | Reply
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"...appears semi-regularly on Cobrasnake.com"

Dear fucking Lord!

Yes, I'm taking the bait, if only to point out that this is why "Indie" music sucks and will never be taken seriously by those who don't appear semi-regularly on Cobrasnake.com. It's rarely bands that destroy a music "scene," it's the "fans."

Get the fuck over yourselves.

Posted by: Billy K at 09/28/05 11:52 AM  | Reply
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me: covering boring over hyped band, you: arm candy that can make me look cool

Posted by: kevin at 09/28/05 12:10 PM  | Reply
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please tell me that the post is a joke. the guy offers up the lame excuse that all his friends have tix to the show. then requires that she appears on cobrasnake and doesn't mind being ignored. beggars can't be choosers.

i guess i took the bait too.

Posted by: dave park at 09/28/05 12:30 PM  | Reply
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Well, now you know what the people who write and review music are exactly like. Valuable opinions, indeed!

Then again, there's always jed.

Someone should Scott Stapp this guy. Pics are a must, like seeing the lead singer of a Christian rock band tooling around a Denny's looking for teen poontang.

Posted by: Laughing Man at 09/28/05 12:42 PM  | Reply
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"Why did you assume it's a guy looking for a date?"

Simple. A girl could get a date to the show... And the girls that appear semi-regularly on the cobrasnake are more attractive than the men, if "Blue States Lose" can be trusted.

Posted by: janine at 09/28/05 12:54 PM  | Reply
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Wow, this guy is a true dick. Does he know that most of the chicks who "appear regularly on cobrasnake.com" are underage? Listen up stereogummers: I am going to submit my pic because I am dying to go on this cheap man's "date" just to rip this pathetic indie boy to shreds and then report it all here!! That way he will be properly punished for his numerous offenses (not least of which is, he thinks CLAP...is worthy of a review in a natl indie mag.)
And PS: true pros don't take notes in public, bozo. You do it discretely, on the sly, preferably in the bathroom. Or just use your head and type it all down the moment you get home...

Posted by: fleurit at 09/28/05 1:05 PM  | Reply
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i'm taking the bait. that post was so nauseating i have to stop coming here for a while. bye.

Posted by: jane at 09/28/05 1:51 PM  | Reply
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did you read it jane?

Posted by: q at 09/28/05 2:21 PM  | Reply
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fatties rule! i'm glad i'm black.

Posted by: cocaineisthenewvodka at 09/28/05 5:30 PM  | Reply
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Wow other than the lollapalooza part...that souda mostly like me...

Posted by: newave at 09/28/05 8:23 PM  | Reply
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Also, the concert's on the 6th (and 7th), not the 5th.

Mind you, a pair of tickets just went for 120 bucks. That's at ten dollars originally....

Posted by: John at 09/29/05 5:13 AM  | Reply
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jesus fucking christ what a bunch of pussies. no one else finds this posting the comedic hit of the craigslist year, on par only with the guy looking for a girl who enjoyed "animals, the green and sucking it." I;m surprised this is actually a topic of discussion, but I would bet money that the poster is male. what, girls pull bust "no fatties" now? incidentally though, if it was a girl I think I'd be in love.

Posted by: the left shoe at 09/29/05 6:05 AM  | Reply
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