The Torture Tape Experiment
Posted at 3:03 PM
January 4, 2005
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Cold Cave - Life Magazine (»)
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Avi Buffalo - What's In It For (»)
Vampire Weekend - Horchata (»)
Small Black - Kings Of Animals (»)
Max Tundra - Which Song (Passion Pit Remix) (»)
Cold Cave - Theme From Tomorrowland (»)
Tegan And Sara - Hell (»)
Jeff The Brotherhood - Bone Jam (»)
Mount Eerie - Wind's Dark Poem (»)
Tigercity - Fake Gold (»)
Yeasayer - Ambling Alp (»)
Drink Up Buttercup - Even Think (Andrew W.K. Remix) (»)
Florence And The Machine - You've Got The Love (The xx Remix) (»)
Cold Cave - The Laurels of Erotomania (»)
Jookabox - Phantom Don't Go (»)
Jookabox - You Cried Me (»)
If you want to make a tape to make me crazy the following would have to be on it:
Anything by Jessica and Ashlee Simpson
Any band or performer that has been labeled "pop punk" i.e. Avril, Good Charlotte, A Simple Plan, Ryan dumb hair and expression guy, Hoobastsank, Bowling for Soup etc all.
Britney Spears new song and back cataloge with the exception of Baby One More Time and Toxic I will admit those are two good songs. Fountains of Wayne's cover of Baby One More Time is really sexy.
Hillary Duff's cover of My Generation and Lame Bizkit's cover of Behind Blue Eyes
Anything by Lame Bizkit for that matter
The Duff sister's cover of Our Lips are Sealed
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Celine Dions cover of "Shook Me All Night Long! (Divas Live)" That speaks for itself.
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32 kbps Mp3 versions of disco songs, honky-tonk and TV themes. The low bit rate is key to making me miserable.
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TV themes do suck, but I do have a weakness for outlaw country. I like to drown in my beer and my Willie. LOL
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I enjoyed The Saved By the Bell (The College Years) Theme song.
"We're closer to the edge of tomorrow, so much closer to the edge of tomorrow....TODAY!"
BAHAHAHAHAHA
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whats the guys name? Will Hung? i think that's it.
him.
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while it won't be a popular opinion here, listening to anything by the fiery furnaces or xiu xiu for 18 hours straight would certainly send me over the edge.
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Anything my friend Rick puts on a tape. He likes Nelly and 80s hair metal. I take a 6 hour trip down to the Jersey Shore with him every year, and he drives, and it's absolutely excruciating.
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My tape would be nothing but different versions of "raindrops keep fallin on my head..." over and over and over
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four words:
pointer sisters.
slow hand.
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wow Nelly and 80's hair metal is an odd compilation.
For me I guess it would be any of those "seen on t.v." compliations of "love songs" or any other soft soul crap. Anything mainstream pop has to go, and Ann Murray. Oh and U2 really makes me want to bash in the stereo.
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50's genre music.
James Taylor
Peter Paul & Mary
Rick James
Dr Hook & the Medicine show
Whitney Houston
Bobby Brown
Mack 10
Ace of Base
B 52's
Toby Keith
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Do you belive in love? I think is the name of that Cher song.
Got stuck on a treadmill at my gym with that video blastin in
my face! Come to think of it any music at the gym sucks.
Thank god for my ipod.
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Africa - Toto, She Drives me Crazy - Fine Young Cannibals, Everything Phil Colins has ever done except for Sudeo and Easy Lover
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Blood on the Saddle - Tex Ritter (Might be the most painful country song I've ever heard)
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Ahhh!!!! My ears are bleeding from that Corky "eating is good" song!!!
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oh yeah, that Cher song Do you believe in love? is the worst!! My daughter came up with a Halloween costume based on hearing that song all day long at some kids club thing in a resort in Mexico....Cherbacca: the body of Chewbacca with the head(and wig) of Cher because it really does sound like Cher is channeling Chewie at certain parts of that song...I thought it was pretty insightful for a (then) 7 year old.
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yes, I only had those kinds of thoughts while tripping on white blodder. just kidding..not really
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the Crash Test Dummies sure do suck ass.
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"cheeseburgers in paridise"
"what i like about you"
"smuglers blues"
"we are the world"
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the "titanic" soundtrack
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I would love to have some Mariah Carey songs on it. You can torture me all you want, bus this'll do the trick every single time. Best pick: 'Without you'.
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NKOTB
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Let's get some originality here. I mean, teen pop is bad, but I wouldn't strangle myself with a headphone cord after 24 hrs of Simpson/Duff sister crap.
Start off with something by Mortification, a christian grindcore band. Look for it.
Continue with an album track from the Michael Bolton/Richard Marx catalogs.
Then do the very same song again.
Drive down to your local high school, find any kid in a Slipknot shirt, tell him you're a record producer and you heard he has a band (I'm sure he does, don't worry), and you want a copy of his demo to pass onto a local label. Put track 3 of this turd on your tape.
For the coveted 5 spot, you could do no worse than getting some dissonant guitar feedback and electrical blips from a krautrock album.
This ought to at least get the ball rolling for some of you music torturers out there.
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Picking that "Worst Song" was stupid--it's actually fairly enjoyable. It's only bad in theory.
I think the bonus track on the first Mr. Bungle album would pretty much do it for me, and I say this because I lived down the hall once from someone who put it on repeat, turned up the volume, left, and locked the door. I hate that guy.
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They actually do this kind of thing to prisoners at Guantanamo (NY Times, 1/1/05):
"Military officials who participated in the practices said in October that prisoners had been tormented by being chained to a low chair for hours with bright flashing lights in their eyes and audio tapes played loudly next to their ears, including songs by Lil' Kim and Rage Against the Machine and rap performances by Eminem.
"In a recent interview, another former official added new details, saying that many interrogators used a different audio tape on prisoners, a mix of babies crying and the television commercial for Meow Mix in which the jingle consists of repetition of the word 'meow.'"
The Meow Mix jingle over and over again. Yikes.
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1. Tatu, "Not Gonna Get Us": Acrylic fingernails, meet clean blackboard. Chipmunk-esque.
2. Four Non Blondes, "What's Going On": 100% Pure Cheeze, that's what's going on.
3. Europe, "Final Countdown": the themesong to my grade 6 class trip to Quebec. Ugh.
4. That Eminem song where the hook is a laugh. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. So lame.
5. Britney's "Toxic": when some people hailed this as a catchy disco-style tune, I gagged - the strings/violins are gratingly torturous
6. Kenny G: going home for the holidays means listening to my parents' Smooth Jazz station.
7. Ani DiFranco, "Not That Soft": because it's lame-ass spoken word poetry where she enunciates/elongates her words in a lame-ass way.
8. "Mercedes Boy" by Pebbles, because my now-ex-boyfriend's lesbian friend used this as the opening song on her High Fidelity style seduction mix tape she made him. Bitch.
9. The Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Themesong.
10. That J.Lo song that she recorded for the movie Enough. A ballad. She holds a lot of long notes very slightly-off-pitch.
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Any and all of the 'KidzBop' series wherein children sing the pop songs of today, and in a similar vain, any of the numerous compilations of bad pop-punk bands covering the pop songs of yesterday.
ick.
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anything by coheed and cambria. that guy's voice makes me want to die.
oh, and i'm walking on sunshine and u2's the sweetest thing. for some reason i hate those with a passion.
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"you ought to know"
"what i am is what i am"
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track 3 on the first tape has got to be the funniest thing i've heard.
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OMG! This question is the best!
Love Shack-B-52's
Celebration- Kool & the Gang
YMCA (or any Village people song)
ANY KC & the Sunshine Band song
Walking on the Sunshine- Katrina & the Waves (dear Hollywood, please stop using that song in movie trailers)
We Are Family- Sister Sledge
What's Going On- 4 non blondes
Get Low- 'Lil Jon... or any Lil jon song whatsoever
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That Ashlee Simpson performance from the Orange Bowl.
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uh, I think Courtney was at a wedding recently. How else would one come up with a horrendous mix such as that.
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Noam Chomsky.
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Best. Question. Ever.
1) "My Religion" - Ryan Starr
2) "Over the Rainbow" - Anita Bryant
3) "Changes" - Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne
4) "I Need An Angel" - Ruben Studdard
5) "Angels" - Jessica Simpson
6) "I'm Not Sleeping" - Tiffany feat. Krayzie Bone
7) "Liquid Dreams" - O-Town
8) "Crusin'" - Huey Lewis & Gwyneth Paltrow
9) "How Do I Feel (the Buritto Song)" - Hoku
10) "Solo" - Eamon [Eamon sings the Italian version of his song, "F*** It"]
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an hour straight of that josh groban dude.
guaranteed to cause internal ear bleeding.
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"All I want for Christmas" - Alvin and the Chipmunks
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making me watch that ashlee "performance" above this over. and over. and over again.
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Hands down: anything Jimmy Buffet (as someone already mentioned below) or the Eagles' "Hotel California". I'd rather be scalped.
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right on with 4 non-blondes and add Extreme "more than words" shiver...
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Ricky Martin
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"Afternoon Delight" by Starlight Vocal Band... That's the Skyrockets in flight song...
Just like in that movie PCU.. I'd totally jump out of a window!
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I was actually at my husband's work's Christmas party where they played my torture tape in that order. Worst DJ ever!
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Convoy.
'Nuff said.
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Anything from Insane Clown Posse.
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judy collins.
good lord i hate me some judy collins.
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Over the past few weeks watching all these celbrities and musicians saying " happy holidays". Just say "Merry Christmas" you politically correct Asshole!!!
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What about that b*tch, Anne Murray?
Her "music" is painful. AND she's Canadian.
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What the hell is wrong with Canadians? Every country had it's hideous "talent" inflicted on unsuspecting ears.
Anyways...my tape
1. "Not Gonna Get Us" - Tatu
2. "Stronger" - Britney Spears
3. "Lolipop" - Aqua
4. "Blue" - Effel 65
5. "Loverboy" - Mariah Carey
6. "Jealous Man" - A Duet SUNG by a then "Puff Daddy" and Ma$e
7. "Can't Get You Outta My Head" - Kylie Minouge
8. "Why Not" - Hilary Duff
9. "Girls and Boys" - Good Charlotte
10. "The Ketchup Song" - The Ketchup Girls
11. "Step By Step" - New Kids On the Block
12. "Liquid Dreams" - O-Town
13. "Bye Bye Bye" - N*Sync
14. "My Way" - Backstreet Boys
Yeah....if you haven't notice 90% of the songs have some high octive and drawn out vocal ranges to put you in a muderous rage.
I have no mercy.
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Calliwell - Damn right on the Tatu AND the Canadian defense. No one talks smack about Canada's songbird unless they're referring to Celine Dion.
I'd like to add the Vengabus song, a.k.a. the Six Flags song.
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All of these sounds at once or individually.....1.) my dad reminding me of everyone elses kid thats gone to and finished school.
2.)people clearing their throats.
3.)ashlee, jessica, and brit all singing( if u can call it that).
4.)the macarena.
5.)a faucet dripping.
6.)that "scraping-the-plate" sound.
7.)cats in 'heat'.
8.)a group of women talking. period.
9.)slurping.
10.)cans lids popping.
11.)whispering( i hate when people whisper, if u dont want me to hear then MOVE!)
12.)whitney houston's..I will always love you..or whatever it was from that movie w/ kev costner.
13.) the sound a pussy makes when it farts( a gross as it is i know some guys who like it, to me it not only embarrasing but irritating.)
14.)elevator music
I could probably list tons more but my subconscious may duplicate it in my sleep tonight..so i'll leave it at this..
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i'm an idiot..shouldve read the whole text, thought it just meant torturous "sounds"
as far as music goes..just music(if u can call it that)..anything by any of these would surely get my ears to bleeding eventually...
1.) Kenny G
2.)Wayne Newton.
3.)Jo-jo
4.)Limp Biskit
also that song Mambo#5 by Lou Vega. MmmBop by Hanson. Whoop( there it is). God, lemme stop the actual tunes are getting in my head..ARGH!
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