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May 10, 2007

There's A Gest Trying To Get Into The Winehouse

Thing is, that's both the setup and the punchline. Producer, plastic surgery victim, and Minnelli ex David Gest is slanted and enchanted by the lush-ous Amy Winehouse. But it's what he wants to do to her upon introduction that's particularly icky. Via the estimable Tittle-Tattle:

Liza Minnelli's ex-husband, who is currently dating English soap actress Malandra Burrows, confesses he's infatuated with the Rehab singer and loves her wild style.

He says, "I would kiss the mole on Amy Winehouse's face and every tattoo on her body, and I'd stick my tongue in the gap where her tooth is missing.

"I love her."

Creepy, desperate, denial -- the choice of descriptor is yours. But they would make a damn cute couple!

david gest amy winehouse

Posted at 3:51 PM
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30 Comments

(Quietly dumps rest of lunch in garbage)

Posted by: KingHater at 05/10/07 3:53 PM | Reply
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tooth missing? where is she missing a tooth?

http://www.fadedyouthblog.com/1993/tattooed-and-toothless/

oh... there.

Posted by: nick at 05/10/07 3:59 PM | Reply
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by: anon at 05/10/07 4:07 PM | Reply
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Good God, VH1's pants just got very tight.

Posted by: ka-tet at 05/10/07 4:19 PM | Reply
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i am so creeped out right now.

Posted by: sarah at 05/10/07 4:25 PM | Reply
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having david gest get a plastic surgery scar-straining woody over you is probably the most effective intervention imaginable. you've shot past icon to punchline! abort!

Posted by: jim at 05/10/07 4:38 PM | Reply
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(Fished lunch out of garbage, attempted bite, clicked on fadedyouthblog link, dumped lunch back in garbage.)

Posted by: KingHater at 05/10/07 4:38 PM | Reply
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Why do I get the feeling that he might just be speaking her language?

Posted by: Matthew at 05/10/07 4:45 PM | Reply
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I need therapy after reading that comment.

Posted by: sommer at 05/10/07 4:48 PM | Reply
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Separated at birth?

Posted by: anon at 05/10/07 4:50 PM | Reply
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KingHater is destroying this comment thread.

kudos, friend.

Posted by: nick at 05/10/07 5:23 PM | Reply
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I like how you make a tag for david gest, as if his name will come up again, or better yet, someone will search for him.

Posted by: sven von sven at 05/10/07 5:35 PM | Reply
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> I like how you make a tag for david gest, as
> if his name will come up again, or better yet,
> someone will search for him.

Ha. You never know who he'll verbally violate next!

Posted by: amrit at 05/10/07 5:40 PM | Reply
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I totally posted about David Gest once before. When the Liza & David VH1 pilot ended up on MySpace or something. He's nuts.

Posted by: scott at 05/10/07 5:47 PM | Reply
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Does everyone know what a "soursplash" is? It's when you kind of throw up in your mouth a little bit, but it feels like a really strong burp.

Just helping everyone describe the natural reaction to that piece. And the visual accompaniment just seals it.

Posted by: Liam at 05/10/07 6:19 PM | Reply
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i thought that was the "barflex"?

but sourspalsh works as well

Posted by: badgerpup at 05/10/07 6:33 PM | Reply
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ew.

i totally "soursplashed."

Posted by: pearl at 05/10/07 6:40 PM | Reply
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@ Liam

I always thought it was called an 'upchuck'.
and yes, thats exactly what I did.

Posted by: ka-tet at 05/10/07 6:41 PM | Reply
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It's always been called a 'virp' where I come from. And I definitely just did it.

Posted by: sean at 05/10/07 7:07 PM | Reply
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They deserve each other.

Posted by: Tom at 05/10/07 7:14 PM | Reply
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Not to be pedantic or anything, but that's a 'monroe' piercing, not a mole.

Anyway, Winehouse doesn't sing like she looks, and Gest, uhh... doesn't look like Mr. Potato Head without the hat, glasses or mustache. Not a bit.

Posted by: Blu at 05/10/07 8:03 PM | Reply
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Oh my. Dinner just made an encore performance.

DwD

Posted by: Dw Dunphy at 05/10/07 9:39 PM | Reply
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if theres not two people who deserve each other more...

well, maybe pamela anderson and kid rock getting back together may rival this one, but thats neither here nor there...

mole or piercing, either way its gross. i dont get why anyone would want that nasty ass piercing.

and her singing is almost as scary as her looks. almost.

Posted by: annie onymous at 05/10/07 10:59 PM | Reply
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I think I've seen his head in a "Wack a mole" machine!

Posted by: Elk at 05/11/07 5:32 AM | Reply
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I have a very vivid imagination. And reading those quotes, while looking at those pictures....just.....I mean......it's too early. I think my brain is starting to shut down a little bit out of self preservation.

Posted by: seiche at 05/11/07 9:15 AM | Reply
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im just excited for David Gest's "Quit Your Day Job" interview.

Posted by: nick at 05/11/07 9:34 AM | Reply
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Perhaps he was referring to the mole on her butt face.

Posted by: April at 05/11/07 10:00 AM | Reply
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did anybody else's gaydar go off?

Posted by: micker at 05/11/07 10:50 AM | Reply
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OK, this proves Winehouse is a trannie.

Posted by: iburl at 05/11/07 5:15 PM | Reply
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Seriously. Can't something be done about this guy? There should be some king of formal law which allows total censorship of this man.

Posted by: Scott at 05/12/07 9:47 AM | Reply
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