Third Eye Blind Submit "Non-Dairy Creamer" To Worst Song Of 2008 Contest
Third Eye Blind (you remember, from the '90s?) quietly released a new single a few weeks ago. Reader Michael points out that frontman Stephan Jenkins quotes "Paper Planes" (I thought we buried that?) in its final minute, a fact I missed when I first heard the song and failed to make it through the whole thing. He writes...
Third Eye Blind's new single "Non-Dairy Creamer" is pretty much golden in all the worst ways. You really should post something about it, because it not only has some, uhh --noteworthy -- lyrics (In short, it begins to talk about KFC chicken not really being chicken and there is a "Young gay Republicans!" chant breakdown.) More interesting, though, is that the final minutes of the song quotes MIA's "Paper Planes."
Brace yourselves.
KFC, STDs, M.I.A. ... LOL. I don't even mind Third Eye Blind when they come on XM Lucy. But this song could not go unpunished. Lyrics here in case you need to deface anyone's Facebook wall.
The Red Star EP is out Tuesday on Sony.
UPDATE: Stephan Jenkins responds.
Posted at 12:42 PM by Scott
Tags: M.I.A. | Third Eye Blind
this song is "breathtaking". truly amazing..........
Score = 14
When I first heard this song, I though Stephen had turned into a lunatic. But after reading and looking at the lyrics, they truly do make sense. I totally get some of the cheesy humor, about KFC and implants, but underneath it really does send out a message. People need to learn to read between the lines.
Score = 1
Wow.. Alot of you guys really didn't get the joke at all. did you. Maybe because its so flat in your face and dry a bit like british humor. I guess one must have a taste for it. i like corny jokes.....so its in for me HAHAHAHA.. Take a breather and laugh people!
Score = 2
I hear "Paper Planes" is all over Slumdog Millionaire (so seeing it this weekend), which will probably be Oscar bait, so we've got a ways to go.
Score = 3
It plays during two segments. One the original song as we see the two young protagonist make a living on a train. The second time is a remix that is actually kind of cool. The movie is pretty incredible. Took me by surprise and definitely my favorite of the year. Danny Boyle keep impressing me with his versatility.
By the way, this song sucks balls.
Score = 0
Oh dear God. I'm not even kidding, this is either the worst song ever recorded or the most horribly executed use of irony the world has ever known. Either way, it sucks.
Score = -1
The whole song I was waiting for him to rhyme "non-dairy creamer" with ring-tailed lemur. I thought for sure it was going to happen.
Score = 25
This band does have a place in my heart. Alas, lyrically, this song is horrendous. ...I am digging "Red Star" though.
Score = -5
turrible, just turrible
Score = -4
I didn't know Charles Barkley visited Stereogum.
But yes, truly turrible.
Score = 1
The best part about not liking them in the late 90s is the lack of regret I now feel.
Maybe he should write a Law and Order episode if he wants to take a "ripped from the headlines" approach to his lyrics? But hey, he dated Charlize Theron.
Score = -3
Agreed - this song is so bad it makes you wonder if these guys are actually serious. Maybe they're shilling for the faux-dairy industry? Will there be a margarine anthem before Christmas?
Score = 0
At least it wasn't another "Ode to Obama" abortion.
Score = 1
Ahhh... that familiar lisp brings back so many memories.
Score = 7
We have a new song too, it's called "the Sophomores." It's awesome, you should check it out.
Score = 18
Wow... this sucks...but I still think Blue was a great album.
Score = -2
i think its suppostah be a joke ..... how's it gunna be when you eat splenda.
Score = 7
is the "what's it gonna be?" part a chorus or something? this song is so confusing. how do you even write a song like this? i have a feeling he wrote the lyrics first and then just strummed random chords and kind of sang over it. or something.
Score = -3
This is astounding. And what on earth is he even trying to say with the gay marriage bit? Is he stating his opposition to it or what? This is just crazy and confusing.
Score = 0
I'm sorry but I didn't think it was bad at all. I thought the line about breast implants and missiles with the vocal melody was interesting.
Score = -3
Wait, did I really just say that? This track is garbage
Score = -1
more importantly, was the non-dairy creamer explicitly laid out like a fruit cake?
Score = 8
With a wet spot bigger than a great lake?
Score = 5
i am eternally hateful. really.
Score = 0
yeah, i was hoping it was some kind of reference as well. i unapologetically love 3eb, so I'm reserving judgment
Score = 1
This is a very political song. Third Eye Blind are amazing. How many bands have hits that are about meth love, cum facials, hiv, suicide, etc.
The funny thing is that the average listener doesn't even know what their hits are about, and if they did, they would be shocked.
This band came to our college and promised to play if Obama won. Yee haw!
Score = 3
i love how some of you will defend the killers but eat these guys alive.
same shit!
Score = 1
Amen
Score = -5
what am i so afraid of?
this song becoming popular. ugh
Score = 2
This song is no worse than 98.8 % of the shit that's on this blog.
Score = -4
Wait, what is this YouTube embeddable audio player you're using? Is it new?
Also, coherent as it is, I missed which part was a Paper Planes quote....
Score = 0
@Internet gangsta: The YouTube embedded audio is actually a cheat. They just chopped off the top of the video window in the HTML.
Score = 3
Yeah I was looking into that too... I think that all you need to do is just change the "height" part of the player in the HTML.
Score = 0
This is the best song out right now. You know that right?
Score = 4
This song is awesome. Sure the lyrics are weird. But they are meant to be. The instrumental track is pure genious. Your falling into the trap.
Score = -2
Third Eye Blind is like, the most 90s thing ever.
Score = -2
i dont know, aside from the terrible lyrics, it's not that bad. weird kick drum sound though. it sounds fine in the mix but when it's featured it sounds really... squishy. but yeah, very bizarre song.
Score = 1
Is that intro lifted from "Sunday Bloody Sunday"? This song is an abortion in every way.
Score = 1
I keep telling myself that this is a joke...
As it turns out there appears to be a remix contest of this song! So by all means, tear it apart!
3eb was one of my favorite bands when I was in high school, there's no shame on that. You know why, cause they had some good songs. Blue was decent too. When I heard their last album, Out of the Vein, I wept. What a lousy album... and that was back in 03!
I'm seriously considering deleting all the songs in my hard drive and burning my cds. That's how horrified I am.
Score = 1
Wow, that was deep. I would like to subscribe to his newsletter. You know, more singers should be political, because they are generally such gifted geniuses, armed with historical references and in-depth analysis. For me to poop on.
Score = 4
The song is supposed to be lampooning the people it's about. Even though its a failed attempt at humor, it's meant to be as funny as it is awful.
Score = -1
You guys are crazy! Third Eye Blind are so brilliant, fab, etc.
Lyrically, nobody cuts like them. Songs about suicide, drugs, sexual deviance are like no others.
Educate yourself about Third Eye Blind before you comment, kids.
They are the best alternative band going right now. You can't deny their power.
BTW -- "Non Dairy Creamer" is supposed to be a goof.
It's about as sarcastic and liberal a song can get. Young gay republicans, etc.
Score = -11
This song is both musically and lyrically atrocious. Those defending 3eb as anything more than a pathetic guilty pleasure [of musical value equal to the worst of the New Radicals catalogue] must not like music very much.
The chord progression goes nowhere. The four to the floor is completely inappropriate. The vocal melody sounds barely scripted. The lyrics are unrepentantly bad. It doesn't matter if they're a parody. It's a bad parody. A terrible one. The lyrics are as pointless in inane as the English hook of a Japanese pop song. If it's a political commentary, the final result is completely obtuse. The part about gay marriage makes no sense. Even if he's trying to give a liberal perspective on the matter, using the phrase, "just a'couple'a queens" reenforces homophobia as "other" to begin with, as does, in a less obvious way, "two gay guys."
Then there's that moronic string part repeating the melodic motif with terrible terrible convoluted sub-Phish jamming at the end. It's as if a 17-23 year old curly-haired douche from Orange County [who enjoys hiking and camping with his bros] got a hold of a Philip Glass recording and made a YouTube vid of him jamming along with it.
Lastly, I can't stop listening to it.
Score = 7
I tried to listen to the entire song, but I had to pause at the halfway point to go shit blood.
Score = 1
I don't care how sarcastic/genius/whatever this song supposedly is; it's awful. I listened to these guys in high school too, but even the nostalgia doesn't make this any less pathetic.
Score = 2
I don't use words like "hero" lightly, but that Jenkins...
Score = 4
"Towards the end of September 2008, Third Eye Blind released the song Non-Dairy Creamer to fans... On October 16th, the same day that the Non-Dairy Creamer contest came to a close, the next song in the competition titled "Don't Believe a Word" was released"
wow stereogum, it's good to see you're ahead of the times.
even wikipedia beat you to this.
[link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Eye_Blind#Ursa_Major_.282009.29]
Score = -2
Hey elitists!............just wanted to tell you I hate all of you. Have a good night.
Score = -11
All these dopey, dumbass critics suck.
Score = 0
As a longtime fan of 3eb, it is refreshing to hear new music from them. Maybe you dont like the lyrical content, but you gotta admit that this track has some incredible music. And it is catchy enough for the masses. Watch out because 3eb is going to be back in a big way one the album is actually released.
Score = -9
All these dopey, dumbass critics suck. Nothing like a bunch of stupid fingerpainters criticizing true art.
Score = -13
True art!? Seriously? I think maybe that's stretching things a bit.
Score = 2
Hahahhahahaah! True art?!? Yeah, this song is definitely a Goya painting or Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. This isn't art, this is commercial product, and worse, it's terrible, terrible commercial product. Like a bottle of Nair advertised as jock itch cream.
By the way, Stephen, I wish you good luck with the record sales, buddy! Sorry you jumped the shark two records ago, man.
Score = 6
Wow, good to see thirdeyeblind back in the limelite; sort of. The song is catchy as hell, which is sort of their trademark. Guitar work is pretty tight and the outro is awesome (with a shout out to MIA, or not).
I've seen these guys live last year and they totally blew me away. It looks like they will capture the energy of their live shows into this record!
Score = -4
I've heard almost every song off this new album in 8 live shows since 2007. This album, especially Summer Town and Campfire (played live as Bonfire), will ROCK. Chris N. -- have you ever actually written a song?
Score = -4
Yes, I have actually, but that's not the point. Writing a song doesn't make you an artist, and not all music is real art. And even if this can be considered art, that doesn't make it good or worth my time, even as a lowly fingerpainter (to use your analogy).
Score = 6
Oh, so now you're the judge of what is and what isn't art?!! LOL. Doofus.
Score = -14
Yes, I am.
I don't mind arguing, but resorting to name calling is pretty weak (doofus?). No need to get all wound up. I'll keep my anti-3eb comments to myself; I obviously don't know what I'm talking about. What was I thinking, a fingerpainter criticizing a true artist?
I'm totally out of line. We'll let other true artists, such as yourself, to make these important judgment calls.
Score = 5
That would be fitting and proper. Thanks.
Score = -5
DeadRussianAuthor, this is commercial product, pure and simple. It was made to shift units first, land in a product placement ad second, dupe dumbies to come to a concert third, etc. etc., participate in a tradition of art, somewhere around 473rd in the list of priorities. If Stephen Jenkins didn't dupe a label into paying his bills, he wouldn't have written this terrible music [under the tutelage of producers, the label, and the like], therefore it isn't art. The product has superseded the art for him if it ever was an art. Making money, getting exposure and holding onto some shred of fame are almost certainly his priorities. Otherwise, he wouldn't make this trite bubblegum. Real artists can't do anything but create art. That's why a lot of the good ones die poor, rather than in plush LA pads.
Score = 3
OMG, you're a genius K2. You should be a psychoanalyst. Here's a little analysis for you. And it's free. You sound like a frustrated and bitter musical wannabe.
Score = -5
Haha. Dude, the day I play a 3eb song for a million dollars is the day I shoot myself in the head. Those songs are so bad, you couldn't pay me enough. I love when people don't know how to defend a pathetic argument they resort to calling someone a name. For all you know, I'm Mick Jagger.
Score = 3
Can Dead Russian Poet go away please...
Score = 2
k2, jenkins is a genius. plus he started his own label so i guess you can say he signed himself before he wrote that kickass song. every 3eb show ive ever been too has been sold out. thay have a cult following and people who dont understand there music porbably like nickleback, buckcherry, staind and the like. talk about bands just trying to make money. jenkins has a masters from cal berkley in english chief...basiclly the guy could write good lyrics in his sleep. i bet you like those bands i listed previously plus puddle of mudd and douches like that.
Score = 0
I appreciate a band that has a variety of music in their repertoire and not just a singular sound. Third Eye Blind has a song for any mood that I am in. This one will be the song I will want to listen to when traffic is getting to me 'cause it is light and fun.
Score = -4
Third Eye Blind is a band that has a variety of music in their repertoire and not a singular sound. They have a song for any mood that I am in. This one will come in handy when I am stuck in traffic 'cause it is light and fun. It works for me.
Score = -8
Third Eye Blind is beyond the pop broken heart crap. Sucks some people can't accept music that is beyond what they've experienced -- this song forces people to look outside of the box. I love it.
Score = 0
This makes you look out of the box, just a little: http://www.artchive.com/artchive/g/goya/great_he-goat_dtl.jpg
or this guy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockhausen
But if we stick with literature, this might be a little more interesting: http://books.google.com/books?id=yUQraHg--80C&printsec=frontcover&dq=ava#PPA3,M1
And everything I just linked is beginner's level out of the box in my opinion, but it blows this stuff out of the water, yo.
Score = 3
What an insanely catchy tune, and officially now the anthem at my school residence. I can definitely see this song climbing the charts and I can’t wait to hear what the band releases next. Has anyone heard any news of a music video releasing with this single?
Score = -5
i know the lyrics may be backdated, but you can't argue with the catchiness of the song.
give it a listen a few times - it's an acquired taste.
imagine if this song had come out in 2004 - it would have been a mega-hit in the upswing of anti-bushisms. yeah, it's late now, but does that make it any less absurdly quirky?
i, for one, dig the music if not the lyrics - and i bet if you listen to it a few times you're going to end up singing it in your head for a while.
at the very least, go check out their myspace for red star. that song is fucking amazing.
Score = -4
Worst song of 2008?? Come on, with all that garbage rap music music out there, you really think this is worse?? I'ts not even the worst rock song of 2008 with the terrible new songs by Hinder and Nickelback hitting the airwaves.
The lyrics aren't the best, but they are enough to create a stir. ( I mean, look at this site itself) but the music itself sounds good.
Score = 0
This song is fun and crazy, and that's what it's supposed to be. The lyrics are crazy, but they're meant to comment on recent events. The music is awesome, and the song is catchy as hell!
To Jason about gay marriage: the lyrics are "And two gay guys got married, and brought the family to it's knees. How did they blow us to smithereens? Just a couple of queens. How did they do it, I'm tellin' you now. They brought marriage to an end. And I found myself some culprits. It's two young gay republicans."
the whole thing is ironic and farcical. the band is from san francisco, and stephan jenkins is extremely liberal, meaning he supports gay marriage. he's commenting on the fact that republicans and religious people think gay marriage is ruining marriage, but then these people end up coming out of the closet as gay anyway..
the song is strange, but it's supposed to be strange. it doesn't take itself seriously. it's fun and really catchy. the music rocks.. the outro is awesome, even though i'd prefer the paper planes bit not be in there.
i'm so glad that third eye blind is back.. the new album is going to be awesome!
Score = -5
you know, when I first heard this song I loved the music, I just couldn't believe the lyrics were 3eb. then I listened to it a few more times, and I realized that the joke's on us - the song is making fun of politics (of course).. but also we, the people, in a way that it also makes fun of itself.
it's genius.
Score = -4
The song is catchy as hell, and fun.. it's meant to comment on current events, while not taking itself seriously! some of the lyrics are strange, but they'll get your attention! the music rocks, and the outro is sweet! i'm not a big fan of the paper planes song, but the song is infectious!!
to Jason, regarding gay marriage: The song is supposed to be ironic and farcical. the band is from san francisco, one of the most liberal places in the country, and stephan jenkins himself is really liberal (he supported obama and played at rallies for him.) it's commenting on the fact that republicans and religious people are against gay marriage, but then these same people end up coming out as being gay, anyway.
I'm so glad 3eb is back on the scene, and i can't wait for the new album!
Score = -7
I disagree with some of the people who are simply writing this song off as a "mindless" and "dumb" single. I think this song is absolutely fantastic from start to finish. The song builds from nothing into a raucous bridge and end chorus full of energy. It has dynamic... those "military-esk" drum beats are unbelievable, Brad's cadence is perfect. Tony's guitar, especially around the "mission accomplished" part of the song is as rock as you can get... and Stephan's lyrics... sure, individually lines like "They call it KFC cuz it's not really chicken" make you say "What the hell was that?!" but you have to look at it in context of the entire song. This song doesn't just go from line to line like a lot of contemporary rock songs (Coldplay is a band who's lyrics don't really SAY anything as a whole). This song adds up to make a statement... that being: Are you going to be real and worthwhile or are you going to be fake and fleeting. The choice is yours.
This is a great song and I'm thrilled 3EB is back!
Score = -3
ANOTHER intern! You guys are all over this board!!!
How do you know these guys names so well? I hope they signed your basketball.
Score = 3
Pure Genius from Jenkins. Musically masterful, lyrically lustrous. Can't get it out of my head. Dig deep into the layers.
Score = -4
This song is crazy, and the lyrics are very strange but the music is catchy and i think the song itself is supposed to be "dumbed down" to raise eybrows. I can't stop singing "young gay republicans" either - its been in my head ever since i heard the song. I'm glad a quality band like Third Eye Blind is back because the airways are seriously lacking these days. I'll be purchasing the E.P on tuesday for sure - the other two songs that are up on their myspace page are pretty solid.
I seriously can't get this song out of my head!!
Score = -3
While I'm not sure about he lyrics, I'm digging the music. It's upbeat and I just can't get it out of my head. Beats most of the crap you hear these days. It might be overly blunt, but I get your point Mr. Jenkins . . . well done.
Score = -2