TomKat Engaged
(Via AP) "Today is a magnificent day for me, I'm engaged to a magnificent woman," Cruise told reporters. "It was early this morning at the Eiffel Tower, so I haven't slept at all." At one point, he whispered to Holmes, "Are you OK?" Holmes didn't speak to reporters.
Romantic!
I usually try to tie every post into music somehow, but there are no good songs about Scientology.
UPDATE: Thanks Justin! The musical stylings of L. Ron Hubbard.
Given that so much of what L. Ron Hubbard accomplished musically depended upon tools drawn from his development of Scientology, it is only fitting that his final album, initially released in 1986, would constitute a Scientology musical statement. That album, featuring performances by such Scientology luminaries as John Travolta, Julia Migenes and Chick Corea, is aptly entitled The Road To Freedom.If anyone wins Katie Holmes' playlist let us know if she is in fact a Chick Corea fan.
Posted at 9:41 AM
Tags: TomKat
I'll write one, then.
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Scientology songs:
http://www.ronthemusicmaker.org/listen.htm
(featuring John Travolta, Frank Stallone and Leif Garrett!)
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With those pictures, the title of this post should have been "TOMKAT ENRAGED".
Anyhoo, now that we've come up with the conjoined name for the couple (a la Bennifer and Brangelina), it's also time to proliferate the compression of Katie Holmes' name. I now dub her K-Ho.
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What the heck is going on with that man? I know KH is too dumb/blind to see through the fact that this situation is getting out of control. If it's for real, then take it slow! It looks so fake.
Get back to earth Tom! If you "really love" this girl then take it slow. Even though she is 26 she is still just a kid. I'm not sure she knows what she is getting into. She is believing her own fantasy.
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You can't go wrong with Beck.
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ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.
There are no other words, and all attempts at eloquence or any other word than "ew" escapes me every time I look at his terrifying psychiatry-rejecting big-toothed face.
EW.
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How 'bout "Liar" by Rollins Band?
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"Today is a magnificent day for me, I'm engaged to a magnificent beard, ummm WOMAN... I LIKE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN!!!"
This is wreaking more and more of some Troy McClure & Selma Bouvier as each day passes.
Selma: Are you gay?
Troy: Gay? I wish! If I were gay they'd be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost. You see...
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this is wrong
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i haven't seen Batman Begins yet but i fear KH is going to ruin it for me - i am so sick of this.
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Someone should photoshop that picture of Tom bustin' out his primal scream.
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TOM CRUISE IS CRACKING UP! I can't believe this is happening, is like BENIFER all over again, god help us all.
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The question remains: is she gay too, or did he lay eggs in her brain?
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My friend was a barista at a Charbucks and Katie Holmes came in and ordered a skim latte, and friend made it with whole mik just to fuck with her.
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Is anyone else of this "I'M FUCKING CRAZY" Cruise that his publicists are trying to push on the masses? It's so unbelievably fake.
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Idea for a stereogum contest?
http://www.thechrisivesexperience.com/photos/uncategorized/thelist0617_4.jpg
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man, tommy boy has completely lost it, what a whack job!!!
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I'm bummed that Chic Corea is a Scientologist...
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That L. Ron Hubbard song truelly scared me. I wish I hadn't listened to that one...
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she said that she grew up wanting to marry Tom Cruise. she is smitten.
Now, here is my theory. She doesn't actually realize it's WEIRD getting engaged to a abstract of a person. Tom is notoriously shieldy about his actual personality. She knows him as Tom the movie star and I bet he can play a romantic overwhelmer real well, she gets caught up in it and goes with the flow.
does anyone feel bad for Chris Klein who was with her in a 5 year relationship up until like 3 months ago?
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Tool - Eulogy could be about L. Ron Hubbard
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I just got a glimpse at the playlist.
"Stinky the Worm" "Wow what can I say? This is one of my favorite songs because it's also my pet name for, erm well you know."
"One Monkey Don't Stop No Show" "I'm not even sure if I really like this song, but the title just sounded funny."
"Science Of No Science" "I play this whenever Tom is making me angry. For some reason he does not like this song one bit."
"Theme to Beverly Hills 90210" "OMG! That was like the best show ever. Well, maybe the second best."
"Big Green Teeth" "I love singing this song! Except I replace the word Green with White."
"I Survived You" "Boy can Clay sing! Originally, I really wanted to date him, but Tom seemed so much more, um how can I say this, what was that show with that blonde guy named Carson?"
"Sussidio" "Phil Collins is so hot!"
"Love Make Me Strong" "No truer words have ever been sung. Olivia hit the nail on the head with this one."
"Big Payday" "Tom's publicist said I probably shouldn't put this one on my playlist, but I don't care."
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As to Chris Klein... yeah especially with the Letterman interview:
Dave: "Have you ever had these powerful feelings for a man before, in your life? Probably not, being a young woman?"
Her: "No. No. He is the most amazing man in the whole world."
K-Ho did not add, "up yours, Chris."
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celebrities are fucking insane. I pity them.
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notice how Tom's taste in beards has dimished over the years ...
from Mimi Rogers (normal) to Nicole Kidman to Katie HerpesHelper Holmes ...
in a few years (after a few well timed personality tests) he'll be "dating" Carrie Underwood
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Wes -- I thought about both Chris Klein and Nicole Kidman. Both of them must be so happy they got off that train before it went crazy.
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Re: Tool - i was always under the impression that Eulogy was supposed to be a tribute to Bill Hicks, but lyrically, it probably could be about L. Ron.
also Tool - "fuck L. Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones." Maynard never fails to tell it like it 'tis.
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This is really disturbing. I thought Nicole was "the crazy one", but I guess I was wrong. Poor poor little girl....when will she wake up and run?
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So, after 4 or more misfires, Tom found himself a young impressionable girl he can grind into his Scientology machine. I feel sorry for her... He is a lunatic.
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cruise sucks.
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I'm watting for his "letter of the truth"
Britney + Paris Hilton + Michael Jackson = Tom Cruise
The end is near!!!!!!!!!!!
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It's almost like he's become T.J. Mackey
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Faithful adherents, renegades to my loyalty, have freed me from the desert planet where the Confederation trapped me 75,000,000 years ago in an electric trap. I solved overpopulation then by sending all of your measly souls (Hubbard calls em Thetans, I, Xemu, call them souls) to that wretched planet Teegeeack in volcanoes peppered with H bombs. Now I am back to solve overpopulation once more. The Scientologists must beware, for I am everywhere, blocking their level OT VIIIs from having mastery over Matter Energy Space and Time. TELL THEM. XEMU IS BACK. AND HE IS COMING FOR TOM CRUISE USING THE POWER OF TABLOID MEDIA! There will soon be a great Church of Xenu! We have been here all along, dedicated to keeping alien souls trapped in Scientologists, causing them to make decisions like starring in Battlefield Earth! Now, truly, answer this scientologists - if people could not find out about me, the powerful Galactic Emperor Xenu, without getting pneumonia and dying, then how am I able to post upon the Internet without causing death and destruction?!! BWAHHAAH!!
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Here's the tv clip of the year, surpassing even Kevin and Britney's shenanigans (I, Galactic Emperor Xenu, was not responsible for that trainwreck. However, I was responsible for Beck's last album)... Here is Tom Cruise actually acting worse portraying himself being interviewed than he did as an actor playing TJ Mackey. He cares about you!
http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/miscellaneous_tv/000829.php
My thetans have quelled his power! Bwhahaha!
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The Eiffel Tower hours of operation are from 9AM to 12Midnight. So, did Cruise and Holmes get their celeb only "early morning" tour or is 9AM considered to be early by hollywood standards?
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freakin nutbag
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For those insufficiently un-katiefied, check this out:
http://www.freekatie.net/
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"i haven't seen Batman Begins yet but i fear KH is going to ruin it for me - i am so sick of this.
She wasn't in that much, and the movie kicked ass anyway. Try and see it on IMAX if you can.
Anyway, this is just... weird. I never really liked Katie Holmes, but you just have to feel bad for the girl, Tom Cruise is INSANE.
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It really must suck to be Christian Bale this week.
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Katie's no innocent. She knows what she's getting into. She agrees to the fake romance and the Scientology and Cruise and his people will make her a movie star--give her a better agent, manager, publicist, more media. Three months ago she was just another aging tv starlet with a mediocre career; now she's an international celebrity. Look what marriage to Cruise did for Nicole Kidman's career.
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See you at the clay table Katie!
We'll kick those Thetans Asses!!
F U Galatic Emperor Xenu! Battlefield Earth was an excellent piece of Scientology Propoganda! Best movie ever!
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Yeah, that bites that we're gonna have to see more of her. Is it just me, or does it look like someone pushed her lower jaw in? Seriously, the girl's got a demented head. At least we know what's wrong with her.
So, when I was little, I dreamed of being Wonderwoman. I'll start working on that. Look for me in papers.
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"Wonderwoman"--hilarious.
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I hold gummer responsible for this! he goes to Bonneroo and all hell breaks loose,Also I hope gummer didn't drop the brown acid like Florida State's starting QB, Wyatt Sexton, who was arrested after bonnaroo standing in the street telling everyone he was god, any Federline sightings in Tennesse?
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Battlefield Earth? Don't you mean... BATTLEFIELD TEEGEEACK! BWHAHAHA! PUNY MAN-ANIMAL!
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of course they are going to get married, it's in her contract!
this relationship is to make tommy relevant (to pop culture) again, make k.ho famous and give scientology a fresh, young face that'll appeal to another generation.
haven't you guys read those blurbs that he auditioned several other starlets (scarlett, jessica alba and kate boseworth) for the role of girlfriend/future wife?
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I am so in love with having SEX WITH WOMEN!!! I love having SEX WITH WOMEN!!!! If I were a lesbian, that would rock because I could have SEX WITH WOMEN!!!
WOMENENENENEN!!!!!
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The musical stylings of L Ron Hubbard?
Howabout I gouge out my eyes and set myself on fire whilst performing an interpretive dance based on the movie 'dumb and dumberer' in Ugg boots.
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there is one good scientology song--leonard cohens famous blue raincoat, with its reference to going clear
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why do we care? i hate myself for knowing who paris hilton is. could i sue her for invasion of privacy?
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A little advice, Katie:
Respect the cock.
But reject the cocksucker.
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I agree with all of you that Kate is just an immature, insecure, low self-esteemed, plain and average woman who feels she won the NY lottery by hooking up with this psycho midget called Cruise. Not only is she losing her religion, but she's also losing her health, her skin (herpes anyone?) her chances of getting pregnant (Tom is rumored to be impotent and infertile), her chances of getting laid (he's also rumored to be gay) her career (she fired her manager and agents, turned down movie roles) her liberty (she's being followed by an army of Scientology freaks) and her mind (Letterman, MTV movie awards anyone?).
So, my guess is either she's the most foolish woman on earth, or she's the greediest golddiger ever: I'm sure she doesn't mind flying in a private Jet instead of Coach, wearing designer clothes instead of Gap jeans, dining at the Ivy instead of Harveys....
Plus her parents probably don't mind the gifts Tom is showering them with. Those new Beverly Hillbilies probably don't care to sell out their christian-born daughter to this weirdo and his fake cult. Shame on them!!!!!
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Plus, I'm sick of their constant PDA. I think some Hollywood couples got serious issues with this. To me, it's not love: it's show off. Tom Crruise is not in love with Kate. He's in love with himself. Hooking up with a much younger women is just a narcissistic way to prove to himself that, at 43, he's still got it going on and that he's still able to score dumb, immature, easily impressed chicks. I think the media should boycott them. If nobody came to those events (journalists, photographers, stupid fans) then Tomkat would be forced to stay home. That would be a good lesson of humility 4 them. That's what the press did with Bennifer. They set up a trap 4 Ben (hiring strippers in order to humiliate Jen) and the result is they immedialtly stopped their arrogant behaviour and settled for a more simple life. They hid in Georgia for a couple of weeks (droving pick up trucks instead of Bentleys) before calling it quits. After the medias brought her down, Lopez is now officially a failed singer (her latest album tanked), a mediocre actress ( constantly bad reviews, the Gigli fiasco...) and a desperate housewife (she married a below than average Joe).
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tess, stop spreading rumors. or, if you are going to spread them, please do so in a more concise manner
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Didn't Katie Holmes say she wanted to remain a virgin until marriage? or has that been debunked? If that's true, no wonder Tom preyed upon her... poor girl.
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tom cruise scares me! he brainwashed joey potter!
watch this:
http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/miscellaneous_tv/000829.php#comments
ground control to major tom
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Cruise is inhumanly good looking. I must say that as a straight male. He's not of this earth. He doesn't age. It's insane. That aside, I had an accute anxiety attack a couple months ago that lasted for a few weeks. A complete nightmare. Drugs kept me from jumping off a bridge to end the insanity. I can't help but think 100 years ago, before these drugs, I would have been thrown into a lake. Nothing but psychoptic could have saved me.
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Would someone please explain the whole Katie Has Herpes thing to me??? I hate to admit it, but I'm so lost....
Funny, I've always thought Brad Pitt is just the hottest thing ever, but being the self-respecting woman that I am, if he was to hunt me down, date me and start acting like a total whackjob with ADD and telling everyone on the planet how much LOOOOVE we share and how I'm just *so* magnificent and phenomenal and brilliant and smashbangtastic... I'd probably bang him and be embarrassed in public about it just like K-Ho is, but hold the phone on the marriage bit, people!!!
That shrimp of a man is certifiable.
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So, I realized today at the Atlantic-Pacific stop in Brooklyn that all those people giving the "Free Stress Test" were Scientologists - they sell L. Ron's book right there. I hadn't noticed the connection before today. Unfortunately, when I got to my friends house, he had a copy of L. Ron's book from them laying on his desk. Luckily he's not an avid reader, and he gave up on page ten.
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About the herpes thing; a few weeks ago Katie was photographed with huge and infected sores on around her lips.It was like 10 times the size of a normal acne pimple. It was really ugly and gross and I still can't believe she left her house looking like that!!!!
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I also remember reading that K-Ho was waiting until she got married to have sex. They should play Blue Orchid at their reception.
Zac, I also hate that I know who P.Hilton is. Let's start a class action lawsuit for invasion of privacy!
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The oddest thing is that Tom Cruise is gay, and appears to be getting married to a girl. It is well known in film circles and that the Kidman charade was arranged by their 'people'. Keanu is also gay. It's a shame that these people can't be out because the film co.s need to sell films to middle america - who don't like poofs. oh well.
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OMG. I can't believe those girls are so ignorant and foolish that they would waste their time dating a "scared to get out of the closet" type of guy. I mean, girls like Katie or Nicole must really have low self-esteem issues if they can't even score an heterosexual male. This is really pathetic. Actors on the down low, like Tom, should stop using those poor girls to save their image cuz these victims won't get anything from it: no sex, no biological kids.I mean look at Nicloe now: At 37,her love life is almost non-existent and her chances of getting pregnant are getting shorter by the minute....
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Those girls are fag hags!
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nicole already has two kids that are adopted. maybe she doesnt wanna get pregnant.
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Can someone verify how long they have even been dating? I mean, think about all of this in real world scenario... both just out of long term relationships and now they are engaged after a short time... so weird..so random...and it will be so funny to watch them crash & burn.
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"Judy came from O-HI-O,
She's a SCIEN-TOL-O-GIST"
- "88 Lines About 44 Women" by the Nails
That's all I've got.
Wasn't KH in one of those "Lovers" sketches (w/ Farrell and Dratch) on SNL? This is pretty much the same thing.
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**freakin nutbag**
Bestill my heart Brandy... my favorite phrase.
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is it just me or does Cruisie remind anyone else of Howard Dean with a wig...
...kinkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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I agree with you all that the timeline of their so-called romance was kind of short. I mean, they've only known each other for a week when Tom already decided to fly her to Rome for some heavy PDA and show off sessions. In normal life, celebrities (except Bennifer..lol) wait, at least, for a couple of months before jumping up and down on the couch and act crazy in love. So, excuse me, but I don't but Tomkat's relationship at all. It's just the biggest PR stunt in history. It's really sad to see that some stars, in 2005, are so cynical about life that they have to fake love(à la Newlyweds).
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katie has manhands
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I wonder how true it is that TC tried to bag those other actresses first. But then settled on K-Ho.
Anyway, I feel sorry for her, how the hell can someone who claims to her Catholic Christian faith is important to her become a Scientologist? For that matter how the hell can any sane person become a Scientologist.
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all i have to say is KH must have some d@mn good pu$$Y...
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You should see what someone's put on ebay these to. It's freaking funny! http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5597127539
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Katie Holmes is my idol. So you people that say she sucks you suck.
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im happy for tom and katie... so you people who doesnt want to see them happy together... should at least keep thier mouths shut... forever!
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Everytime i hear or see anything about "TomKat" i have a barfbag ready and waiting...i usually need several.
p.s. I LOVE the "Britney Spears + Paris Hilton + Michael Jackson = Tom Cruise"!!! HILARIOUS and SOOO true!
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How true is it that Tommy is gay??? Is it certified true??? he's a nut, but is he gay?? The whole thing is very distasteful........a sad reflection of today's world, when weirdos can get so filthy rich and make mock of real life as we know it. Pity this poor child, and how awful that it could be conceived so cynically and to further Tom's agenda. Katy? she's just plain sad!!
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tomkat eh? what kind of society is this? eh, eh, eh?
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Totally fake pregnancy. They will adopt and pretend it is theirs. Look at her belly-was larger this summer than now!! Plus,are they really doing ultrasounds at home-WHATEVER. No baby in that belly!!
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I think Eulogy was about Kurt Cobain.
Not L. Ron or Bill Hicks....
but what do I know...
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