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February 22, 2007

Video Hangover: "Grillz"

Twice a week, we dig in the MTV/VH1 archives for videos that we find noteworthy, memorable, or just unbelievably stupid. Is it crap, or is it the greatest video ever made? You decide.

"Grillz"
Nelly, 2006

Some things to consider while you’re examining Paul Wall’s gums…

Things were going well until they opened their mouths
At first glance this seems like your typical hip-hop video. Smoking-hot women in bikinis, Nelly with his shirt off, lots of colorful hats. Everybody hanging out in slow motion and having the absolute best time ever. And then come the fifty close-ups of mouth-bling. Or, as we like to call it, Weird Al’s kryptonite.

Our Moms was not happy, and neither was Dr. Goldberg
We’ve been having a recurring nightmare about rooting through the dumpster behind Chuck E Cheese searching for the $60,000 platinum and diamond retainer we accidentally left beside the pizza box while we were off playing Zaxon.

It’s getting hot in here, so take out all you teeth
If there’s a stupider wannabe trend, in hip hop or otherwise, we can’t think of it. How long do you think it took for the guys who listened to Nelly and melted their jewelry down into custom orthodontia to regret their decision? Six, seven seconds? And you know there was at least one guy who actually had his teeth pulled, and Nelly was like “No, man, caps! We’re all wearing caps!” This is the sort of nonsense that makes us miss Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

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13 Comments

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Posted by: HollisQueens at 02/22/07 2:53 PM | Reply
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All they prove is Grillz make you sound like a retarded fouf grader when you talk.

Posted by: yomomma at 02/22/07 2:59 PM | Reply
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This song is ironically awesome. Listen to the lyrcs and you won´t be able to stop laughing I promise.

¨What it do baby, it´s the ice man paul wall, I got my mouth looking something like a disco ball.

¨My mouth´s open given´ everybody chills call me george foreman cause I´m sellin´ everybody grills.

´´Boy, how´d you get your grillz that way, how much did you pay.¨

¨Got the top, got the bottom got em all lined up like hillary rodham.¨

Fucking awesome.

Posted by: Evan at 02/22/07 4:37 PM | Reply
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When the rappers get old are they gonna get blinged out pacemakers?

Posted by: Food Marathon at 02/22/07 5:45 PM | Reply
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BECAYSE CAPS ARE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL

Posted by: tk. at 02/22/07 9:14 PM | Reply
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For people who like/love music and spend far too much time obsessing about music, MTV is possibly the worst channel on cable, especially since it's name has become so disingenous given its programming. That's old news, but in the wake of all these blogs it surprises me that MTV or MTV2 or VH1 or someone else (Paul Allen, etc.) hasn't created programming for TV that caters to us. No more week in rock; no more 120 minutes; no Alternative nation. I can't believe it. It's seems like a no-brainer in the age of TIVO. Aren't 25-40 the key demo?? what's going on here?

Posted by: klapper at 02/23/07 8:01 AM | Reply
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Well, I think what happened was that they started catering instead to 11-to-17 year olds who wish they were 21-30, hence all the oversexed, slutty junior highers (of both genders).

It's a shame, and they had the chance to start over with a focus on music when they started with M2, and they fucked that up too.

Posted by: tk. at 02/23/07 8:48 AM | Reply
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Well, I don't know what this Mtv discussion has to do with Grillz, but trust me, Mtv makes a lot more money with their scripted and reality programs than they ever did with music videos.

The thing about music videos is that you change the channel as soon as something comes on that you don't like. And there is no incentive to stay tuned during commercial breaks.

If they did show music videos (as they still do on Mtv Europe) it'd be the same 20 to 30 mainstream artists in constant rotation.

There would be no "alternative" or "indie" programming because marketing people have learned that the counter-culture is a fickle demographic and not worth the effort of chasing after. They are hard to advertise to, and they don't have the purchasing power or materialistic nature of pop fans. Face it, it's easier to sell to Fergie fans.

Posted by: ReTV at 02/23/07 9:33 AM | Reply
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thank you for posting a video that is ACTUALLY really bad, instead of peter gabriel videos that are kinda cool

www.lightfromheat.com

Posted by: justin kelly at 02/23/07 11:14 AM | Reply
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Black people are funny.

Posted by: Justin Timberwolf at 02/23/07 11:42 AM | Reply
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>> "¨Got the top, got the bottom got em all lined up like hillary rodham.¨"

What? No. It's "Got a Bill in my mouth like I'm Hillary Rodham."

Socially conscious rap is the BEST.

Posted by: Bugs Meany at 02/23/07 1:59 PM | Reply
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I love how rap is so incestious with their beats and lyrics. Seriously I don't listen to this shit, but I still picked out at least 5 parts of that song that were lifted from other R&B and rap tracks. Unreal.

Posted by: davebobn at 02/23/07 6:52 PM | Reply
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Yeah. This made me want to hear Girl Talk again...

Posted by: Zayin_451 at 02/24/07 1:56 AM | Reply
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