Meat Loaf To Hang Up His Handkerchief?
Every now and then Stereogum takes a break from watching videos of celebrities getting denied at Hyde, and reads a magazine. In this week's Newsweek, Meat Loaf opens up about his pathetic state of affairs:
"He asked Scarlett Johansson to do a duet with him on the third and final opera installment, Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose, which will be released on Halloween. She said no, he reportedly begged, then finally settled on Marion Raven ... you know, formerly of girl group M2M? Despite the indignities, he tells NEWSWEEK, 'I'm grateful for what I have.'"An obese has-been rocker turned down by the sexiest woman alive (thanks rhinoplasty!) because, uh, she's not a singer? The indignity!
Anyway, Bat Out Of Hell (1977) sold 23 million copies. Back Into Hell (1993) sold 21 million. (We can't believe that number either.) The Monster Is Loose is expected to sell only 5-7 million despite the savvy publicity campaign.
It's a "very, very intense" album, says M. Lo. That's code for "it has a Celion Dion cover."
Loaf, or Meat as his friends call him, will embark on a world tour next year, but tells Newsweek he's lost his "passion for music." And, presumably, his passion for suing Jim Steinman. So what'll he do when the tour is done? "A television series."
We'll concede Loaf's campy "Paradise" can be fun thirty years later. But Stereogum just cannot forgive a song called "Objects In The Rearview Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are."
See ya on the boob tube Meat!
Posted at 3:21 PM in Video
Tags: Scarlett Johansson
now there's a guy who would do anything for love, however, he would stop short of doing 'that'.
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We meant to ask: what do you think "that" is?
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Bob had bitch tits.
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"That" is dirty sanchez. he would do anything else though!!
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i wish this post wasn't so snarky. meatloaf was so loveable as bob, i'll forgive him anything.
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In order to fully understand what Meatloaf meant by "I won't do that," it's important to quote Trading Spaces' most and only famous housewife, Margaret Perrin, who kicked off her 12 nanoseconds of fame earlier this year, engendering herself in the hearts of millions by making teary-eyed, blood curdling doom-and-gloom rants about Jesus and being incredibly fat.
At one point, Perrin opined to her daughter, with regards to what "other people believe in,"
"Ah, but that's what they believe in! They believe in the moon, and the gods, and the this and the that!"
A hilariously dismissive take on the religious beliefs of all those who aren't big fat persons of the hillbillian variety? Certainly - but instructive when we look at Meatloaf's song.
We can assume that Meatloaf is not a believer in the fundy sense, despite his overuse of religious imagery, with the bats and the demons and the hell and the scary, which served to fool all of those who saw his albums at age 12 into thinking that he was much more bad-frickin'-ass than he actually was. It took me a while to come to terms with finding out that the cool biker guy in Rocky Horror was indeed that beefy crooner who detailed, in no less than thirty two distinct musical acts, nailing some chick in the back of a car in "I Can See Paradise."
His lack of conventional religion in accordance with the Margaret Perrin school of thought leads me to believe that he is actually a worshipper of "the this," and thus his refusal to "do that" is just that - he will not convert to worshipping "the that," not even for love, though the way it's looking, maybe he will "do that" if it means someone will buy his upcoming album.
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and by "trading spaces" you mean "wife swap." radically different shows.
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and by "trading spaces" you mean "wife swap." radically different shows.
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haha my friend engineered Bat Out of Hell III and literally almost quit the music business by the time it was finished
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I mispoke, but I was closer - the show was Trading Spouses, which sounds, at least from the title a bit more classy than "Wife Swap"... Not to mention decidedly more classy than "Key Party", and an entire world away from "Please, Bang My Wife" as far as taste is concerned.
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On the one hand, 'I Would Do Anything for Love...' is my karaoke jam of choice. On the other, he played a pimp in the irredeemably shit 'Bloodrayne'.
And the language in that ABCNews article is also very fun. "come-hither garb" needs to be used more widely.
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Actually, if you check out the version of "Summertime" she did for the Unexpected Dreams compilation, then you'll find the sexiest woman alive actually has a damn fine singing voice.
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