You Don't Win Friends With Timbaland Salad, Chris Cornell
It'll be news to nobody when I say this, but I'll say it anyway: Chris Cornell's Scream is horrible. There are plenty of albums released in a year that aren't so hot, but this goes beyond that to something wrong on so many levels. To put it in an aging rocker context: It makes Chinese Democracy look like Appetite For Destruction. We've said as much in our posts about "Scream," Ground Zero," and "Long Gone." Fair question: So why do we keep writing about it? Sick fascination. Rubbernecking. If you think we're just being snots, we're not alone: Take a look at what Mr. Trent Reznor had to say about the former Soundgardener's sad foray into electropop.
"You know that feeling you get when somebody embarrasses themselves so badly YOU feel uncomfortable? Heard Chris Cornell's record? Jesus."
The original note's at Reznor's Twitter. Not that we're pretending there's some sort of beef between the two singers -- gossip? us? -- but you really can't argue with Trent here. Not that Chris would care to. The guy who wrote "Outshined" describes his new album as "an interesting sociological experiment" and is having a blast confounding fans ("there's some excitement that I got out of that that I haven't felt in years") according to a Reuters interview.
That part's kinda fun ... If someone is up in arms about the idea of an artist that they really care about doing something that they just can't believe, it begs that question, "Well, what is it that you would want? Would you then want predictable, comfortable salad that gets reproduced year after year?"
The best unintentionally funny quote in that article has to deal with what he's spotted at the live shows: "It's the most that I've seen guys with beards rocking back and forth to a rhythm." So he does not watch bear porn!
If you are brave enough to partake in Mr. Cornell's sociological experiment, check out the "Part Of Me" video.
The "house mix" < Predictable, comfortable salad.
Posted at 6:40 PM by brandon in Video
Tags: Chris Cornell | Nine Inch Nails | Timbaland | Trent Reznor
I haven't heard a thing about this. I'm shocked. I had to look up more videos to make sure the posted video was not an ironic mash up by youtube nation.
Score = 6
even if the song sounds like a remix of maroon 5, method man is in the video. therefore, it is awesome.
Score = -6
When did Chris Cornell start making SNL Digital Shorts?
Score = 36
Do you know who produced the album? Chris Cornell only wants to make some money for retirement. His 401k probably took a pretty good hit.
It's like the Leonard Cohen tour, but with bad music.
Score = 9
i literally just shat my pants laughing at that video
Score = -1
pics or it didn't happen.
actually, on second thought...
Score = 9
It's a collaboration with Timbaland -- no shit! Justin Timberlake guests on a song. Seriously, I'm not making this up.
Score = 5
Sounds like he's trying to do the Santana / Rob Thomas crossover. AND be Missy Elliot. And Leonard Cohen. Desperation is when you are trying to not only please everyone, but ANYone. I mean it can't be that hard to pull Kim Thayil out of his early retirement.
Score = 7
I like the song. The video is just alright...
Score = -2
hahaha! i get it!
Score = 7
i don't want anybody to know who i am, because i'm about to admit that even tho i concur that most of the new cornell album is pretty mediocre, i actually LOVE the song "scream" and think it's probably his best tune since "black hole sun" or "flutter girl" ...
also, the new album IS "appetite for destruction" compared to his LAST solo album's "chinese democracy"
Score = -17
yeah, i can see why you don't want anybody to know who you are.
Score = 26
wow, i love the random Simpsons reference
Score = 6
WHO KEEPS PAYING TIMBALAND?
Score = 11
timbaland is one of the most overrated and overpaid taker-uppers-of-space-on-earth since gene simmons.
Score = 6
have ever listened to hip hop? timbaland's a pioneer. All producers work with shitty artists. hell, even Dave Freidman produced mgmt
Score = -13
Timbaland HAS done some rad shit in the past.
Score = 12
heres the thing - the production isnt the worst thing on the album. it really isnt.
the lyrics are the worst bottomof the barrel shit i have ever heard. this is pussycat dolls level lyricism here. it did indeed hurt to listen to this, especially knowing what cornell is capable of.
Score = 15
I thought he died after Jane's Addiction broke up.
Score = -7
He had nothing to do with Jane's Addiction.
Score = 2
Shit, How is this going to effect the reunion?
Score = 5
What a steamer. It's like someone's American Apparel wearing hipster dad trying to get some pussy by copping Justin Timberlake. I'm not even a fan of his music, but I'm embarrassed for him...It's THAT fucking bad. Like a very unfunny (wait that's redundant) SNL skit.
Score = 5
I definitely feel the secondhand embarrassment. What happened to you, Chris?
Score = 10
feeling the sudden urge to listen to soundgarden again...wait now it is going to sound poppy
Score = 5
mike you stole my comment
Score = -4
I guess Im not a fan of soundgarden, but I dont think this sounds that bad, I hear worse every time i turn on the radio.
Score = -11
Soundgarden rules. I hope Kim, Matt, and Ben team up and punch Chris in the face. One of the most badass frontmen of the 90's has become an awful joke. I just can't figure out why he can't see it
Score = 12
I think the new songs are simply bland and mediocre, which is way worse, imo, than if they were just plain bad.
Score = 7
This is the opposite of everything that was cool and edgy about Soundgarden.
Score = 7
here, here!
Score = 4
wait - is this the same Chris Cornell that wrote Jesus Christ Pose?
That song is truly horrifying.
Score = 9
Haven't you guys heard of Advancement Theory?
Score = 1
what sad times are these when an artist passes off refuse as "an interesting sociological experiment." or maybe the joke is on us....
no, mr chris, you should leave that to Andres Serrano.
Score = 2
i'm sad to hear that he's been going through a horrible divorce, but couldn't he have just left a flaming bag of dogshit on her doorstep?
Score = 17
the whole situations is sad, yeah, but it makes me kind of sick to my stomach to see the guy behind the great badmotorfinger belting out misogynistic choruses that a band like buckcherry usually stoops to
Score = 14
Hahahah oh my god, soundgarden meets justin timberlake meets rob thomas meets unintentional comedy.
Score = 12
I usually like defending mainstream acts from you indie scoundrels, but this might be the worst music of this decade...it's on par with K-Fed's CD.
Score = 13
Superunknown came out 15 years ago last week. My, how times change.
Score = 11
yea this is awful but definitely not something to get this worked up about. audioslave was almost as bad
Score = 11
Yes! Another Feud. The battle continues.
Score = 1
why is it that only the colored folk started fighting in the video?
Score = 5
i thought the chorus was catchy as hell. i like the bass synth. i guess the fact that its chris cornell makes it horrible?
Score = -15
No, the fact that it's horrible makes it horrible.
Score = 11
remember not long ago when that isolated-vocals Van Halen track became available ?
you've got David Lee Roth going "aiaiaiah...oooohooOOOOOh yeaaahhhhHHHHH".
it sounds like somebody cut & pasted that onto some young kid's frooty loops beat.
Score = 5
Is Casey Affleck documenting this?
Score = 32
He can never go back. goddamn shame any possible soundgarden reunion will be marred by this travesty
Score = 4
Timbaland has a track record of making bad albums with usually great artists. He litterally killed both Björk and Madonna on their latest shit records and now he is going after indie rock. Thank God Cobain died as he'd probably be on his kill bill.....though how long till Courtney Love makes a statement about Timbaland remixing "Smells like teen spirit"?
Timbaland is in talks to work on Radiohead's next album btw :)
Score = -1
"He litterally killed both Björk and Madonna on their latest shit records and now he is going after indie rock."
Yes, first Chris Cornell, next Deerhunter and Liars.
P.S. Trent Reznor, the guy who wrote "The Fragile", shouldn't talk about people embarrassing themselves. 'Starfuckers, Inc.' is about as horrendous as it gets.
Score = -7
yeah. he did write starfuckers. but that song is a parody of marilyn manson. the whole song is about him. trent and him had a huge falling out and trent wrote the lyrics and the music to parody him. also, i love when radiohead fans insult nine inch nails lyrics. you can defend thom yorke's retard poetry all you want, half of the lyrics are still garbage.
ghosts I-IV by NIN effectively proved that there is no need for radiohead to be around to do their whole electronic soundscape deal. nine inch nails beats down radiohead live, they beat radiohead with the digital distribution method, they beat them at every turn.
now i just want to watch trent beat thoms lazy eyed head in.
and chris cornell.
fuck it, i just want every 90's frontman to fight each other gladiator style.
Score = -9
Yes, but you're forgetting that 'Starfuckers, Inc.' isn't any worse than the other songs on "The Fragile." That whole album is a shit sandwich. Also, you're forgetting that no one gave a shit about "Ghosts".
Score = -9
Kidacomputerok, what is your beef with Nine Inch Nails? You post these same damn comments on every post related to T-Rez. We know that you don't like Nine Inch Nails. We get that your personal taste in music--judging by your Last.fm link, I should say Pitchfork's personal taste in music--is much better than everyone else's. Quit trolling, or better yet, just shut the hell up!
Score = 3
When you suck Trent off, do you let a drop go to waste? Starfuckers, yeah!
Score = -3
I agree with your comment that Timbaland ruins normally good artists, because he does. But why do you bring Kurt Cobain into this? Because if he wasn't dead, he would be alive, so that means he would have to be produced by Timbaland. (?)Because I'm pretty sure musicians have a lot of say in who produces their album, and it's not like Timbaland forces them to hire him to ruin their songs. Although for this Cornell song it was pretty much just shitty icing on an already shitty cake.
Also, he didn't "literally" kill anyone. Madonna and Bjork are still alive.
Score = 5
I actually like this better than the last two Adult Contemporary albums he made and anything Audioslave came out with.
That's not saying much, because I would also prefer being face-raped to listening to an Audioslave album.
Score = 11
Watching this video has erased all the joy that I felt when I discovered Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix has leaked.
Score = 4
If this wasn't Chris Cornell, you'd all be more sympathetic. This is a "bitch" away from being a Roisin Murphy song.
Score = -1
If this were Justin Timberlake ( or hell, even Lady Gaga ) at least the lyrics would be a lot better.
Score = 4
When did Andy Samberg grow a goatee?
Score = 8
best thing about this is Trent Reznor's comments. Artist should diss each other more often. Way to go!! I was able to listen to this without wincing, so i guess its tolerable, but i couldn't look at this... does anybody remember how fucking hard Soundgarden rocked??
Score = 5
This song and video's about as appealing as Watchmen's new ending.
Score = -1
gotta say this even if no one reads it: That title was like a fuckin chocolate-in-my-peanut-butter moment. awesome.
and you never win friends with salad: as true today as the day it was written
Score = 6
garbage
Score = 4
I didn't think there could be anything worse than audioslave but here it is I also didnt think there could be anything that would make me hate that mans voice any more than I did but this has made it even worse, which I'm amazed was possible.
Score = 4
This song hurts my balls, I am quite sure I could fart a better song
Score = 4
This song hurts my balls, I am positive I could fart a better song.
I think Chris lost his mojo
Score = 1
what's a shame is that his voice sounds to be in its best shape in 10 years.
Score = -1
why is the black and whites people seperates in this video... awful stuff. suspension of disbelief got me going crazay.
Score = 2
You guys are a bunch of lemmings. Scream is a great record.
Score = -18
I never thought this guy could write a song with better lyrics than the genius that was Spoonman, which might have the best lyrics EVER. We can only hope that he'll form a super group with Joaquin Phoenix and William Hung. Could mankind ever come down from that aural high?
Score = 5
why, chris, why???
now, you, bitch, aint a part of me!
>:(
Score = 1
Cornell kind of reminds me of porn star Nick Manning in this video. If he had been "dropping loads" all over bitches faces I think I could've taken the video a lot more seriously.
By the way, does anyone remember the last time Method Man released a good album? 94?
Score = 2
Why you people gotta be like this? Oh, the hate... Don't we all laugh at videos of freaked-out cats? Don't we all love free ice cream? Don't we all smile when babies dance? (I know Chris Cornell and his three-, four-, and eight-year-old children do...) Let's try to get along for a while; you know, do it for the music. For the kids. For the future.
Score = 3
Moral of the story: Chris Cornell doesn't dance. Not a chance.
and its only slightly depressing to think that in the 2 seconds Tim was actually in the video, he probably made enough to pay for my undergrad and my master's degrees.
Score = 3
S'OK he's still hot. I'm just not going to buy his album. Wait, I've never bought any of his albums....
Score = -1
These lyrics are terrible. The chorus is lame. This video is horrid.
I'm suprised Ricky Martin didn't bust out in the center of the dance floor, right up behind Cornell.
Score = 3
I've decided that Timbaland should stop producing people, besides JT and himself. Somebody please call Soundgarden and save Chris Cornell.......it might be too late though.
Score = 0
Two words....fucking awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Score = -1
This is why I love Stereogum.
Score = -1
this is the worst day of my life 'cause i can not believe that loser song called 'part of me' is a part of Chris Cornell...
maybe the better thing is to change his name into smt more jelly, timbaland can find a new name for him easily i think..
and then i could poorly say that there was a rock star who's songs make my life better once upon a time ...
Score = -1
You guys got it wrong. It's obvious someone recently kidnapped Chris, locked him in a room for a week with nothing but a steady stream of Gnarls Barkley blasting at him till he couldn't take anymore-and went insane....
Score = -1