Video Hangover: Tone Lōc - "Funky Cold Medina"

Every week, we dig in the archives for videos that we find noteworthy, memorable, or just unbelievably stupid. And then, we break 'em down for you. Why Video Hangover? Because when you watch as many videos as we do, you're going to feel it afterwards.

"Funky Cold Medina"
Tone Lōc, 1989

Some things to consider while asking yourself: if the Funky Medina is so cold, why is it smoking?

Absolut (no) budget
Around the 0:54 mark, the "no-name chump" who's hogging all the ladies at the bar introduces Tone Lōc to the Funky Cold Medina. So far, so good. But, if you look carefully, you can see he is actually holding up an Absolut vodka bottle filled with green liquid. Either the Funky Cold Medina is an vodka appletini mixed with dry ice, or they blew the production budget on the Spuds McKenzie cameo.

Tone Lōc's homophobia is brought to you by Oscar Mayer, makers of the straightest hot dogs on earth
So, Tone Lōc, having been given the secret of the ultimate aphrodisiac, decides to go home and test it on ... his dog? No wonder he flamed out after two novelty singles. If he didn't have the stomach to drug a woman at a bar, no way could he have survived the '90s gangsta rap boom. You think Eazy-E would have wasted a drop of Medina on a dog? No freaking way. A transvestite hooker, maybe, but definitely not a dog.

Fortunately, "Wild Thing" was the only song it could play
A mobile DJ unit attached to a guitar? Blasphemy! Hubris! The hip-hop keytar is an abomination. They should have destroyed that infernal rap-rock machine when they had a chance, before Limp Bizkit got ahold of it and tried to take over the world.

Posted at 12:32 PM in Video, Video Hangover
Tags: Tone Lōc

11 Comments

that DJ unit is going to become the new keytar, just you wait.

I'm asking for one for my birthday.

Posted by: Xlynn at 04/24/07 12:46 PM  | Reply
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Fat people in tank tops is the new black.

Posted by: fatty arbuckle at 04/24/07 1:09 PM  | Reply
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I've got a fever-and the only prescription is more cowbell.

Posted by: Christopher W. at 04/24/07 1:13 PM  | Reply
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Ah yes, "Blank Check" was on the other day with Tone Loc's unforgettable performance as "Juice."

Posted by: Stephen at 04/24/07 1:14 PM  | Reply
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"you can see he is actually holding up an empty Absolut vodka bottle filled with green liquid."

I'm confused!

Posted by: taffy carmichael at 04/24/07 1:37 PM  | Reply
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taffy: haha, good call on that one

Posted by: jdubs at 04/24/07 1:48 PM  | Reply
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> I'm confused!

oops! that's 'cause we said both "empty" and "filled" and that makes no sense. fixed, thanks taffy.

Posted by: amrit at 04/24/07 2:12 PM  | Reply
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this is the 80's and i'm down with the ladies.

Posted by: mikey at 04/24/07 2:52 PM  | Reply
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"Tone Who?!?"

Exactly.

Posted by: Blu at 04/24/07 4:53 PM  | Reply
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Racist ass crackers.

Posted by: Unseen at 09/06/07 3:34 AM  | Reply
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What does "funky cold media" Mean????

Posted by: Jody at 09/10/07 3:46 PM  | Reply
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