We Are Scientists, You're A Douchebag
The genuinely nice guys in We Are Scientists played the Sheffield Octagon Saturday night, and even did a Boyz II Men cover. Looks like it was a lot of fun! One audience member, however, lost some respect for bassist Chris Cain after failing to receive his autograph after the set. Under the name Leroy Brown, the fan posted his compaint on the band's message board:
Re: was at the Sheffield Octagon last night.One problem, though. That skanky groupie is actually the band's tour manager Storme Whitby-Grubb. And Leroy? Well, he's just a nutsack full of catshit. And probably feeling pretty stupid after Chris posted this response:
Oct 22nd, 2006, 3:42amThough the gig was fantastic. I even got Keith and Michael to sign my ticket afterwards. Im gutted that Chris refused to sign it because he was more interested in the ugly, skanky groupie that was hanging off him! So Chris, you've gone down in my estimation. I thought if anyone would sign my ticket it would be you!! Do yourself a favour and lose the groupies and interact with your real fans a bit more mate
Re: was at the Sheffield Octagon last night.
Oct 22nd, 2006, 10:15amHey, Leroy Brown. Glad you enjoyed the show last night -- I really am, but I'm a little bit furious with you. Here's why, you shitpiece: that "skanky groupie" who was "hanging" on me when you asked me for my autograph last night? Her name's Storme Whitby-Grubb and she's our tour manager, and a good friend of mine. Did she look a little bit like this?
Yeah, that's our tour manager, Storme. I'm not a violent person, Leroy, but I'd love to whip you raw with my belt right now, you stupid child, for two reasons:
(1) You slandered my friend, Storme -- assumed that since she's a girl (a girl with a walkie-talkie and a staff-seargent's demeanor), she's a hanger on instead of a puppet master; and called her an "ugly, skanky groupie", despite the fact that neither a total stranger nor a close acquaintaince of Storme's would ever describe her using any of those three words. So you're explicitly a liar. (2) You're a liar by exemption. You neglected to mention that at the time you requested my autograph, you were standing at the side of the stage, completely out of civilian territory, without any reason for being there, and approached us as we came off stage after an hour and fifteen minutes of playing music. At a time like that, what we love to do is to head down to the dressing room for ten or twenty minutes and have a beer and change out of our soaked pants (we piss them a lot during the shows). Later, when we leave the building, we typically sign every last body part of every single person who has bothered to hang around to say hi. But as we leave the stage? Common sense should probably have told you this is not the time to try to shoot the shit with us. I'm glad Keith and Michal signed your ticket -- I'm sure I would've done the same if Storme hadn't been there shielding me from you and tugging me along -- but I'm also sort of amazed you'd have the cheek to first sneak backstage, then get in our faces as we walk off-stage, and finally -- and this alone is what makes you a nutsack full of catshit -- come on this message board and accuse me of cheating on my girlfriend. The moral, Leroy, on the off chance you're as fucking thick as you seem: - Impose on a person's kindness if you must, but don't then criticize him if he doesn't reward you for doing it. Instead, accept that you took a shot and it missed, and take a minute to shake off the blush of momentary shame that accompanies imposition. - Don't concoct facts that can interfere with another person's family, unless you're doing it out of revenge because the other person did something equally despicable to you. In a case where the horrible thing he did was not to sign your ticket, slander is a pretty big overreaction. Leroy, you've gone down in my estimation a bit, too, mate. Here are your options: You can apologize, which I would prefer, because I'm a sucker and have no use for antipathy and would love to sign your goddamn lease for you in golden ink next time we meet. Or you can contest even one word of what I've written above, in which case -- and I'm going to phrase this humorously in order to defuse any sense of false bravado that might otherwise attach, but in essence I'm not kidding even a little bit -- if I see you again we're going to have a duel in the street. -ChrisWe suspect Leroy and his newly torn asshole won't be attending any We Are Scientists shows in the near future. Though, Chris's response is a bit over the top. "Civilian territory"? Rockers defending themselves on message boards ... no one wins.
Posted at 10:54 PM
Tags: We Are Scientists
He should of just gone Jeff Tweedy on his ass and decked him.
Score = 0
You know...I think you're right. He should haved saved himself some time and just TWEEDY'D him.
Score = 0
british much?
Score = 0
"Take a minute to shake off the blush of momentary shame that accompanies imposition"
that sounds quite lyrical....a new We Are Scientist song in the making perhaps?
Score = 0
"british much?"
why? because he can express himself clearly in writing?
Score = 0
This looks like Chris' girlfriend was very mad at him for such a stupid thing and he reacted that way. Oh well... they are not only funny and cute, but also know some elegant words! haha.
Score = 0
I would suggest blowmeuptom.com -- the hatemail is exceptionally awesome.
Score = 0
Nutsack full of catshit is my new band name! Awesome.
Score = 0
it's a hit.
Score = 0
damn!
Score = 0
Hot damn, Chris is obviously a cunning linguist. One of the many reasons I love them.
Score = 1
Why did he have to make a big deal about this? You are in a popular band get used to people on your message board talking shit about you and/or people you work with.
Score = 0
ugh. we are scientists arent even good. why would you want an autograph, and why would this guy write a short story about nothing? lets hope they continue holding kitties.
Score = 0
I always knew there was a symbiotic relationship between how obnoxious WAS fans are and how awful the band's music is. Turns out the suck extends to needless e-drama as well.
Score = 0
I must they manager is damn cute - why has no one mentioned this yet?
Score = 0
Autographs are for losers.
Score = 0
I'd hit it.
Score = 0
this nigga a pussy, he ain't fighting shit, i'll mop the floor with him.
Score = 0
ha ha... i'm not sure he disproved his manager isn't "ugly" or "skanky". in fact, i think a stranger could very easily make a correct analysis of 'ugly'. just sayin...
Score = -1
I don't know whether I should be horrified or impressed that a straight male man in a rock and roll band wrights like he's Jane Austen.
Score = 0
My American-to-British syntax alarm just went off -- I've got to call bullshit.
"have the cheek"?
"as fucking thick as you seem"?
"humourously"?
Unless Cain is secretly from Basingstoke instead of Califormia, he didn't write that post. I suspect that "Storme Whitby-Grubb" (who, I'm just guessing, just might be British and just might not like being called a skank on a message board) probably has an idea who did.
While rockers defending themselves on message boards is lame, tour managers pretending to be rockers defending themselves on message boards is even lamer.
(/Frank Columbo)
Score = 0
what turds.
I'm not even sure where to begin - it's like one of those zen riddles that puzzle your mind.
I'm really not sure who's a bigger dee-bag or pussy on this one.
Score = 0
I'm with Wezzo... she's mad hot.
Score = 0
I swear on my honour that mine was the quill that penned that missive. Storme Whitby-Grubb-Parsnip-Canterbury is our favourite tour manager, and she deserves naught but kind sentiments and frilly prose to describe her comeliness.
I mean, gor blimey, she's a right fit bird!
Lord Chris Cain-Harpley-Monkfish-Atkinson (American)
Score = 1
No one has really touched on this yet.
As a chick who's toured with bands as a projectionist/documentarian, it blows my fucking mind how I can be carrying a shitload of equipment and still get approached and asked "Which one are you fucking??".
(To which I started responding, "What day is it?")
Good for Chris, putting the little brain in his place. I think more douchebags need to learn that vagina does not always equal groupie.
Score = 0
Me thinks he doth protest too much.
Score = 0
Time for a Stereogum in-depth piece on the numbers of known rockers who participate in blog comments, message boards and online skullduggery with fans... may the civilian territory be widened!
Score = 0
douche bags are the hotness right now! can we get a break down of the different ways to describe people as douche bags in print?
Score = 0
Douchebags are indeed the hot blog top for Q4. We'll leave the Aleksey Vayner coverage to Gawker for now, though.
Storme totally wrote that message board response didn't she?!
Score = 0
Why is someone defending themselves "lame?"
Why is it wrong to point out that not all women backstage are groupies?
Why is it so crazy that an American bass player knows how to put a sentence together?
How is "as fucking thick as you seem" British?
Just asking.
Score = 0
Why would they make an ugly, skanky, groupie their tour manager?
Score = 0
Also, the word "humorously" is spelled in the American manner in Chris' post. Worry less about your (purportedly functional) American-to-British syntax alarm and more about your (apparently faulty) literacy.
Score = 0
Storme Whitby-Grubb > Storm Large.
Score = 0
My bad on "humorously" -- must have my eyes checked -- but "have the cheek" and "thick" are British parlance, not American. Dead giveaways to me.
Score = 0
How can everybody not come to agreeance that Leroy is a petulant little twit, the manager is an attractive woman, and the best part of We Are Scientists is their propensity to hold cats?
Score = 1
The tour manager is cute, no question. Chris' overly british, making-fun-of-himself response to the comments is pretty good.
Score = 0
Oh please. If any of the WAS guys really wanted to get down with some ugly skanky groupies they'd just go back to Claremont, California where they formed and play a show at Scripps College.
Score = 0
This is why tour managers are usually male, round and 40ish. although this might not work if your band is into that kind of thing.
Score = 0
It's obvious he was afraid his girlfriend would read it. That's why he posted a picture of his tour manager. The post is amusing, but both sides are guilty of Argumentum Ad Ignorantiam, because there is no evidence to prove that it was his tour manager or not. I hope he has a trusting girlfriend, because I dont' buy it.
Score = 0
It's obvious he was afraid his girlfriend would read it. That's why he posted a picture of his tour manager. The post is amusing, but both sides are guilty of Argumentum Ad Ignorantiam, because there is no evidence to prove that it was his tour manager or not. I hope he has a trusting girlfriend, because I dont' buy it.
Score = 0
think dude from WAS was totally getting it on with a skank, and had to come up with an excuse because he didn't know if his girlfriend had read the post yet. Maybe that's just how I think in my sick mind, but why would you post such a defensive piece with a picture of a legitimate tour manager.
Im my head it goes: 1.read the initial claim 2.look at the time it was posted 3.ask yourself if girlfriend had a chance to read it time-wise: 3.5. if no delete the post, 4.if yes, don't delete because it proved suspicion, instead reply in defense with a good excuse.
Excuse:
Who's a hot girl thats always around the set, Tour manager Storme. She can't deny the fact that she most likely would be around the stage talking to the band members. Therefore you have a solid plan:
One, you earn the trust of your female tour manager, making her like you even more for defending her honor.
Two, your girlfriend thinks your a good guy because she's dumb enough to fall for the, "how dare you accuse me of cheating on my girlfriend." line put in the retort for her sake only.
Make the retort, witty and put poke fun at yourself, leaving no room or credibility left to the initial poster so even if he did write back with the comment, "That wasn't her, and it was at the bar when I asked you not next to the stage." No one would give him a peice of their time.
Yay, saved the day!
Score = 0
Polaris: Surely Chris knows who his own tour manager is. If you capitalized argumentum ad ignorantiam in order to draw attention to your use of an exotic term, you should probably have first checked its meaning. It looks like Chris read Leroy's post, recognized him as the guy from the night before who asked for his autograph backstage, thought really really hard, and remembered that it was his tour manager and not a groupy he was with. In what way is Chris's response operating from a place of ignorance? Also, Leroy's apology on the WAS site would seem to constitute his agreement that the girl in the picture is indeed the girl from the night before, wouldn't it (http://www.wearescientists.com/discussion/YaBB.cgi?board=live;action=display;num=1161624979)?
Score = 0
Polaris: Surely Chris knows who his own tour manager is. If you capitalized argumentum ad ignorantiam in order to draw attention to your use of an exotic term, you should probably have first checked its meaning. It looks like Chris read Leroy's post, recognized him as the guy from the night before who asked for his autograph backstage, thought really really hard, and remembered that it was his tour manager and not a groupy he was with. In what way is Chris's response operating from a place of ignorance? Also, Leroy's apology on the WAS site would seem to constitute his agreement that the girl in the picture is indeed the girl from the night before, wouldn't it (http://www.wearescientists.com/discussion/YaBB.cgi?board=live;action=display;num=1161624979)?
Score = 0
Polaris: Surely Chris knows who his own tour manager is. If you capitalized argumentum ad ignorantiam in order to draw attention to your use of an exotic term, you should probably have first checked its meaning. It looks like Chris read Leroy's post, recognized him as the guy from the night before who asked for his autograph backstage, thought really really hard, and remembered that it was his tour manager and not a groupy he was with. In what way is Chris's response operating from a place of ignorance? Also, Leroy's apology on the WAS site would seem to constitute his agreement that the girl in the picture is indeed the girl from the night before, wouldn't it (http://www.wearescientists.com/discussion/YaBB.cgi?board=live;action=display;num=1161624979)?
Score = 0
Polaris: Surely Chris knows who his own tour manager is. If you capitalized argumentum ad ignorantiam in order to draw attention to your use of an exotic term, you should probably have first checked its meaning. It looks like Chris read Leroy's post, recognized him as the guy from the night before who asked for his autograph backstage, thought really really hard, and remembered that it was his tour manager and not a groupy he was with. In what way is Chris's response operating from a place of ignorance? Also, Leroy's apology on the WAS site would seem to constitute his agreement that the girl in the picture is indeed the girl from the night before, wouldn't it (http://www.wearescientists.com/discussion/YaBB.cgi?board=live;action=display;num=1161624979)?
Score = 0
Sorry I posted that forty times -- my connection's nuts.
Score = 0
You know what's really going to blow your mind, Jay, is... how do you know you're not just a brain in a vat?
Score = 0
Female tour manager = Groupie with job title.
Score = 0
I think that may be my ex-girlfriend in which case her name is not actually Storme Whitby-Grubb its Bitch
Score = 0
That "Civilian territory" snippet makes me want to puke. I hate seperation between bands and fans (god the Clash were great. . .) but if there is going to be any, as there most always is, that phrasing is just so yucky. Yuck, yuck, and yuck. Even Bono believing himself to be god is a stretch, but WAS? Yuck.
Score = 0
Expertly handled. Never really got into the band, but that earned him (and, thus, them) some respect in my book. "Fans" like that are douches. Give the bands some freaking space; they don't owe you anything, and certainly not under those circumstances.
Score = 0
Seriously, who gives a shit about We Are Scientists? The guys a twat for wanting their autograph and the other's a man-pussy for giving anybody the satisfaction of responding to something so childish.
Score = 0
From what I understand about British women is that she might have a pretty smile and a nice body, but she prob has a mighty large impenetrable forest of a bush.
Score = 0
He should be whipped for even going to a We Are Scientists show.
Score = 0
Storme's nice...not at all skanky...we sorta spoke to her yesterday...she just hurries them along to keep them on time :)
Score = 0
she has a big nose and no tits.
the end
Score = 0
NB: I am reading this after xmas calender.
Oh my god - you bunch of girls. To start off who the fuck asks for autographs - especially at the side of the stage! Wait man if you must get a band to draw on your damn ticket so you can sell it on ebay.
Secondly - Storme is fucking awesome. I would kill to be in her shoes. Young, hot and fucking successful. She deserves so much more than you even bother to give her - and why, cos most of you are jealous little skanks. Chris wouldnt cheat, and if he did then Storme is who I would cheat with too. But he wouldnt and that is the point, and a FACT!
Thats my rant. If any of you twits feel the need to carry on do so, I am sure you are 12 and this is how you spend your spare time. You will look back in 10 years and think, god that Storme WAS cool and be embarrased at how much time you spent on this.
Score = 0
That Storme really is a magical pixie. She certainly aint no Skanky Groupie. Try effervesent bubbling honeybunny!
Score = 0
I am sure that this is going to compleatly go over everyones head, I was searching for my friends from school and i have been serching for storm for a long time i tried snail mail but i guess she has long since moved from the address that i had on her , we went to school together for about a year and we shared a dorm room, If by any small chance she sees this or someone will tell her i am looking for her , We were very close friends and i left for a holiday in indonesia and never went back if there is any hope or anyone that can help it would be fantastic.
Tiffany
Score = 0
check out kevin pearson's interview with we are scientists, it great.
http://www.twoonefivemagazine.com/features_detail.cfm/feature/149/
Score = 0
this bonus ;)
Score = 0