Well Of Course We Were Gonna Post The New Britney Spears Song
Look, we've been good, right? Haven't even mentioned her since February! Tough because, ya know, there wouldn't even be a Stereogum if it weren't for Ms. Spears. But there was no way around posting this untitled track that's spanning cyberspace today. 'Cause it's just fucking terrible. Brit's feeling kinda blue in this moaning slow-jam, getting pharyngial with her "Why did you desert me"?s, complete with one-way Alicia Keys styled phone conversation ("Hey baby ... what time you gonna get home? ... *sigh* ..."). You get the picture. In fairness, this popped up as an uncredited, untitled track on Ryan Seacrest's radio show this morning, so maybe it's just a demo. Even if so, though, it's broken beyond repair. What? Is that a metaphor for our darling Brit's career? Come now. We haven't been that snarky in years!
Listen at Hypem, and then wash your ear canals out with soap. And we figured what better place to look for a recent Brit pic than britneyspears.com, so here ya go! And while you're at it, name her new album. She wants you to.
Posted at 5:20 PM
Tags: Britney Spears
I predict a Mariah-sized comeback for her out of sympathy. As ridiculous as I find her recent behavior and as bad as the song may be, I truly believe people think that if they get her back into the music (good, bad or indifferent) they'll get her out of her insanity.
Comebacks have been built on sandier foundations than this, y'know.
DwD
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i don't think people who would like britney spears give their choice in music that kind of psychoanalysis
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"i don't think people who would like britney spears give their choice in music that kind of psychoanalysis"
That's worse! They'll make her a superstar all over again and not have a clue why!
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Oh gawd. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I only got about 1 minute into the song too!
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...probably NOT the most photo-shopped picture of all time...
..not.
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Not as bad as Linkin Park, the latest Bloc Party, and the new Rilo Kiley.
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holy crap this is the worst. it's gotta be a joke. i nearly died. absolute garbage.
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her comeback will be a porno with two other men.
we might not listen to her music but we'd watch her get naked.
dont deny it.
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I am pro-Brit. However this song (DEMO) is the WORST. It sounds like she's pissed and wrote some words about Mr. Spears. This doesn't make sense. I'm beginnng to think she's just fuckin' with all of us! She needs to stop, just stop and move to France.
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Holy jumpin' mother of Jeebus on a pogo stick! That may be one of the most unlistenable pieces of garbage that has ever graced my ears. And I've seen Cold War Kids live...
Wow. Sounds like someone is choking her while she 'sings'...
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I can't understand how you people are not asking the most pressing questions:
1. Is this about Kevin, or Justin?
2. What did she want her "baby" to get her on their way home? Cigarettes? McDonald's? Starbucks? Red Bull?
I hope VH1 does a special on this.
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Duh, cheetos.
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honestly not nearly as bad as these reactions led me to believe. the beat is neither awful nor great, and the singing similarly falls short of deserving any significant commentary. overall, the track is just barely worth mentioning at all, aside of course from the hilarious phone conversation...
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Can you imagine the studio session that ended with "Hell yes, we got a keeper!"? Wahaha! Somebody better get fired.
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ummm when did any of us listen to her music anyways,? i swear i thought everyone muted the tv while watching her videos just so we could see her roll around half naked.
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anyone else think that in this pic she's trying to cop natalie portman's style from closer?
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It's no "Toxic", that's for sure.
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yeah, of course it sucks.
it's so obvious to slag at her.
yeah, she lost it, whatever, who gives a shit?
it's remarkable if she does something like I'm A Slave 4 U or even Toxic, but this is what's expected from her.
BAD music.
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A skeletal rendition of what could be... 100% well deserved angst-ridden ear candy. The equivalent of a melancholic acoustic number in the form of a pop song. This is not some silly manufactured alter-ego gimmick, but the REAL thing. And who said drugs don't make people cool
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A skeletal rendition of what could be... 100% well deserved angst-ridden ear candy. The equivalent of a melancholic acoustic number in the form of a pop song. This is not some silly manufactured alter-ego gimmick, but the REAL thing. And who said drugs don't make people cool?
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this has to be a demo... her voice is crackin all over the place. either that or the lethal combo of being completely delusional and having complete control have transcended into her music... with horrific results.
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Listen.
Lindsay Lohan gets one day of prison for reckless driving and coke possession. Nicole Richie gets out of hers after only 80 minutes of jail time. The princesses rule the earth and nothing, not even common sense and justice, can stop it.
Who's fault is that, the one who sits on the pedestal or the drones who built it? Why did they build it? Some extension of sexual surrender, as if these same drones somehow feel that if they're nice to the hot little girls that they'll get some fringe benefits for it? In this decade, I have seen the market for the wares of children, and make no mistake that it started long before these stars were "legal", explode. Paris Hilton, the poor dullard, will never have to fear repercussion even if her complacent / complicit parents were out of the picture. There will always be someone waiting to walk the hot coals for her. Why? For her talent? For her humanitarianism?
Let's stop kidding ourselves. There is a deep-seeded form of pedophilia at play here. It is that same sentiment that will make this song a huge hit. No one will know why. Everyone will say that the song sucks, and yet it will nonetheless be huge. The reason why the world wants Britney Spears to be a full-fledged star again is because they want Britney Spears.
It's gross, but it seems to be the prevailing reality.
DwD
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DwD, i think i love you.
marry me?
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yeah, this is obviously a demo. boring song though.
i heard from reputable source that she did a track with daft punk that is amazing, if that is true i have faith. maybe she's just tricking us all. realeasing these crappy songs to tease us... then WHAM!!! she comes out with this killer daft punk produced single!!
that's what i'm hoping for at lease.
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I'm sorry, I'm into cock
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that was obviously someone pretending to be me.
now the real DwD talking:
I'm sorry, I'm into cock
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Clever.
See, Girl Who Likes Smart Guys, as soon as you mention the concept that a female might be impressed with a cogent statement about a social trend, disturbing though it may be, the Peanut Gallery goes wild.
As for you, pretenders... I'm bald, I live in New Jersey and I'm an amateur musician who can't get the time of day from the powers that be. If you really want to walk a mile in my shoes, by all means, make sure they're hip-deep waders.
DwD
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Why aren't we discussing her possible album titles that she is letting people vote on on her website?
"Omg is Like Linsday Lohan Like Okay Like"?
Genius.
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What's this dripping on my shoulder? Oh, yeah, I think it's blood from my ears. That was horrible
Personally, I don't think she can make a comeback, but if she does, it definitely will not be with that
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Love It! Britney ROCKS!
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OK, come on folks... let's all look away, now....
B4MD: Watch it.
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I agree with Andrew. Option 2 is pretty awesome too. Wait, no, I mean completely pathetic.
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