You Might Be An Indie-Yuppie If...
Just had to pullquote this from that Vice article:
"I feel like there has been created, in the past two to three years, an indie-yuppie establishment. Bands like Death Cab for Cutie, Iron and Wine, the Arcade Fire, Broken Social Scene, they are great bands, really great bands, with great albums, great songs, high quality. And to me, it's just so fucking boring," he says. "It’s like fancy-coffee-drinking, Volvo-riding music for kids. And kids should be listening to music that shakes them up more, makes them uncomfortable."Let's hear your best Foxworthian "You Might Be An Indie-Yuppie If..." joke in the comments. Funniest one gets an O.C. Mix CD and a subscription to Paste.
Posted at 5:27 PM
Tags: Indie Yuppie
You might be an Indie-Yuppie if, you get pissed and pick a fight with someone that doesn't like the Arcade Fire on the stereogum comments board.
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You might be an Indie-Yuppie If you want an O.C. Mix CD and a subscription to Paste.
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you might be an indie-yuppie if you are reading this...
oh crap
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If you're on your second (or more) iPod.
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mainstream success is like, so lame, dude. where did i put my smack? *nods off*
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You might be an Indie-Yuppie if your heart flutters anytime you see a raven entwined in red yarn.
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Off topic, but if you go to Britney's site, you'll see she confirms her pregnancy, and refers to the fact that she was in the hospital over the weekend.
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you might be an indie-yuppie if you're one of those guys that has the sorta shaggy hairdo with it spiking towards your cheek bones against your face with more hair gel in it than I've ever used in my lifetime.
- and im an old b!tch!!
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you might be an indie yuppie if you have any sort of disdain for people that listen to the arcade fire, and broken social scene and/or you work for vice.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you believe the Killers/Bravery row, could escalate into a Biggie/Tupac style gun-fight.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you believe Dizzee Rascal is down with Marx
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You might be an Indie-Yuppie if you can suck your own knob.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if the new Bloc Party LP really helped you get through those last few days to make sure you met your billable hours requirement at the end of the month.
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If you use your Itunes as a source for "indie" music and your Ipod as a fashion accessory, you might, nay, are an indie-yuppie.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you love Death Cab For Cutie, but really want to know more about this post office band you keep hearing about.
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You might be an Indie yuppie if you know the release date for Stephen Malkmus' new record.
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You might be an I-Y if:
- you actually know the bands name-dropped in this post, have their music, and have been to one or 2 of their shows
- you buy your "ironic" tees at full price, or at least not at a second-hand store
- you have ever worn your belt buckle a few inches to the right or left of your pants' zipper
- you know someone who works at a magazine and have used their cred to get stuff
- you blog
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You might be an indie yuppie if Rolling Stone, The New York Times and your favorite local record store have been replaced in the last 3 years by Pitchfork Media, Salon.com and the iTunes store.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you downloaded all the songs from today's post and made a mix cd to show all youe friends that you're "so into the music scene."
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You might be an indie yuppie if you are me.
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or you might be an indie yuppie if you think the OC is a beautified version of "My So Called Life."
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If you think Nellie McKay is the new Nora Jones.
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or...you might be an indie yuppie if you buy your ironic tee's at urban outfitters.
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you might be an indie yuppie if you think colin meloy is the new morrissey.
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... you're all meta-ironic.
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you might be an indie yuppie...if you read vice magazine.
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If your jeans cost more than an iPod, but your t-shirt cost less than a pack of gum...you might be an indie-yuppie.
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you might be an indie yuppie if you learned about grime music from sasha frere-jones in the new yorker, and then felt hip when you downloaded some dizee rascal off stereogum.
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Isn't the O.C. is just a modern day 90210?
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you'll forever hate Zach Braff for bringing Iron & Wine's cover of "Such Great Heights" to the masses, thus lowering your coolness factor with the girls you made mix CDs for that included the song as their coup de grace and also for the loss of said song as a staple in your mix CD stable.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you love Death Cab and Bright Eyes and live in Newport Beach with your parents and drive around in Range Rover while homoerotic sparks fly between you and your semi-adopted, brother-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-tracks. (And you date a lesbian because she's soooo alternative and gets you free tickets to The Killers.)
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you might be an indie yuppie if
-you own two copies of every indie album- one on CD and one on vinyl
-you spend all day on the Lower East Side waiting to meet Ryan Adams.
-you actually want to meet Ryan Adams.
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If you've ever spent an hour and a half grooming yourself prior to going out to an indie show, with the intention of looking like you just got out of bed, you might be an indie-hippie.
If you've ever discussed your disgust of yayo immediately before blowing a line, you might be an indie-yuppie.
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If you want Jenny's (see above) phone number, you might be an indie-yuppie.
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you might be an indie-yuppie if you poop. Do I get both the prizes or do I choose between them?
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You might be an indie-yuppie if it bothers you that Vice Recordings figureheads can say sentences like "I don’t think we’re ever going to sign an indie rock band" when they're the home of the Stills. [Who I do actually like, but are quite mundane indie rock.]
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if you listen to the postal service & tell others "i listen to electronica, too"
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If you ironically feign interest in the personal life of Britney Spears, you might be an indie-yuppie.
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if you happen to be steve malkmus
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you were offended by any of the comments above. Or you're just soft.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you didn't know that yuppie meant young urban professional, but you did want to ape his musical collection.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if...
-You consider Pall Malls and Pabst a nice, balanced, vegan meal
-You say "X is the new Y" and can both mean it ironically and un-ironically.
-You've ever seriously played Their Older Stuff Was Better or Name the Obscure Band
-You have a complex, yet predictable, relationship with pitchforkmedia: Excitement, Exploration, Eschewing, Ennui
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You might be a Yuppindie if you think it is humorously ironic to go back to Hot Topic because Urban Outfitters is just "too popular" or if you want your clothes to look second-hand but absolutely refuse to wear clothes that could have touched another body in their lifetime. Also if you're willing to pay more than $15 for a t-shirt.
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you might be an indie-yuppie if you actually listen to bloc party and read vice
and embrace terry richardson's photos
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...you go to Death Cab shows and scream out requests for Postal Service songs.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you're me.
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You might be an indie yuppie, if you searched and searched for Matt Pond PA's cover of "Champagne Supernova" to no avail, and wish you could be as lucky as that damn Cohen. Oh, and you just found about Paste, strangely, and found a lot of good music on their, sending you into a strange alt. country kick for the next month or two.
Wait, was this supposed to be true?
Bah, I'll come up with something later...
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VOTE FOR NELSON.
seriously, that comment made me spit out my evian.
er, i'm not an indie-yuppie. i swear.
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You might be an Indie Yuppie if:
-- your Ipod playlist is better than everyone else's at work, and they don't know who the hell anyone on it is.
-- your parents were indie-yuppies back in the day and later became white-collar Republicans.
-- you claim to watch The OC just for the music.
-- you've either become depressed, had sex, gotten drunk, slit your wrist, AND danced to Interpol at different times.
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You might be an I-Y if... your clothing budget is higher than your music budget. Plus, you actually have a music budget. (I know, you needed it when you bought your Prius).
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You can afford tickets to all the good "indie" shows, and perfected the right amount of disdain in voice while saying "I hope this isn't an all ages show."
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you might be an indie yuppie if you heard that phoenix band for the first time while innocently perusing the sales rack of the gap for some straight-leg jeans and then happily, and with no doubts, laid out eighteen dollars for the whole album.
alternately, you might be an indie yuppie if you thought that garden state was a really, really good movie.
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wait, that would just make you an indie asshole.
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What?
You all are Indie-Yuppies! Get over it!
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If you wrote your congressman about MIA's trouble getting into the US, you might be an indie-yuppie.
If you ironically shop at the GAP, you might be an indie-yuppie.
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if people ask you how you find out about all those obscure bands.....and you just say "i don't know" (because it's just too complicated).
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you check Insound before checking your email.
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Sorry, make that GMAIL.
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if you are reading my comment i'm making now because you read through the comments above acting as if it was a personality test for your indie-yuppieage, yeah i'd say you are an indie yuppie
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you had a college radio show, but that college was Princeton.
Seriously though, as a certifiable yuppie, indie rawk has been moving my way for a long time. We staged a hostile takeover of Yo La Tengo and financed the leveraged buyout of Low's slowcore (marketing thought it could use a "punch-up").
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does indie mean independent? because everything listed does not fall into that category. so maybe we're just mainstream yuppies.
but to add to the list:
-going to shows just so you can say you have been.
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You might be an indie yuppy if, while listening to a new CD, you secretly pray you'll like it.
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You might be an indie yuppy if trucker hats NOW seem pretty silly.
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You might be an indie yuppie if all of the above comments resonated with you, except for that one about nellie mckay or nora jones, because you would never be caught dead listening to either one.
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You might be a indie-yuppy if you jack-off to pictures of Ben Gibbard
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I'm so conflicted. I want to group-hug my fellow indie-yuppies, but I also want to punch us all in the kidneys. I want to maniacally download new stuff to keep up (hearken to radio show days past), but I also want to get drunk, dance, make out and read the New Yorker while listening to Interpol (first album--GOSH).
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=( i like broken social scene.
and indie-yuppie is such a lame term.
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I ironically feign interest in Britney Spear's personal life, but not because I'm an indie yuppie...I'm just a sad case...
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My votes for top 5:
1. You might be an indie yuppy if trucker hats NOW seem pretty silly.
Posted by: Joel M. at April 12, 2005 09:44 PM
2. You might be an indie-yuppie if...
-You have a complex, yet predictable, relationship with pitchforkmedia: Excitement, Exploration, Eschewing, Ennui
Posted by: Elliott at April 12, 2005 08:12 PM
3. You might be an indie yuppie if you saw garden state and now consider the shins to be "life-changing."
posted by: me
4. you might be an indie yuppie if you have any sort of disdain for people that listen to the arcade fire, and broken social scene and/or you work for vice.
Posted by: jennie dimeglio at April 12, 2005 06:09 PM
5. You might be an indie-yuppie if you love Death Cab For Cutie, but really want to know more about this post office band you keep hearing about.
Posted by: Georgy at April 12, 2005 06:47 PM
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You might be an indie yuppie if you are psyched that Volkswagen has some new commercials coming out.
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Honestly, I'm a little saddened by some of the comments here. Get real! You read stereogum, you probably read other music blogs like music for robots, fluxblog, largeheartedboy, etc. I'm sure you visit Pitchfork and look down on Rolling Stone and Spin. Who are you guys kidding? You are all Indie-Yuppies. I am an Indie-Yuppie. Who cares? Of course, it all depends on how you define the term, but if you agree it means music snob then why are y'all pretending to not be one? It's important to remember that no matter who you are, what you like, and what you believe in, YOU can be made fun of. I can mock anyone for anything and have it be apt. Quit worrying so much about it and decide on the things that you don't care if someone makes fun of you for because those are the things that are important to you and that's a big part of who you are. Accept others (yes, even earnest Britney fans) and then, maybe, you won't mind yourself so much. Sorry to get all serious here, but I think it's good advice.
BTW, if that advice applied to you, you might be an indie-yuppie.
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You have a complex, yet predictable, relationship with pitchforkmedia: Excitement, Exploration, Eschewing, Ennui.
clever..damn clever. good job elliot.
amazingly enough, the same 4 steps apply to about everything we yuppies read.
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You Might Be An Indie-Yuppie If... you check thecobrasnake.com daily to see your picture.
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... you were confused by Elvis Costello's absence from the film Napoleon Dynamite.
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...if you drink sparks, shop at hot topic and claim to go to your family's house in jersey on friday night because its "cool to be close to your family," instead of admitting that they are really just giving you money because they support your LES apartment and habits.
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INDIE-YUPPIE PRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!
...
don't hate.
[you all secretly want to be as scene us anyways]
damn I have not worn my belt buckle in the center of my pants since, fifth grade HOMESKILLETS
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you might be an indie-yuppie if you don't think ultragrrrl is the anti-christ.
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haha, riddles you funny. are you sure you're name ain't marilyn bateman? or whatever moniker the ultragrrrl hata used to use on the comments section.
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Adam,
most of the people posting here are probably indie yuppies and they know it, and are not necessarily mocking indie yuppies, but being good sports about making fun of their own selves. But you misinterpret the term. It doesn't mean "music snob." If you look at how VICE is using it, he is trying to say that indie music has reached the yuppie generation, but he himself wants to listen to something that hasn't reached the yuppie generation. Of course when that reaches the yuppies, he will stop listening to it and move on to something else, which makes HIM the music snob.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you get back from a rock show, and don't understand why all the kids were dancing the way they were.
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You all talk about garden state, The OC, Britney Spears and Gap commericals. The people who that say the shins are "life changing" arent even indie yuppies, they are college meatheads and soccer moms, but isnt that always the cycle? You (Gawker and Pfork Included) hate on the oc and Britney yet give them more publicity than the pope and schiavo combined. Start caring more about how great the PIP soundtrack was rather than taking yourself so god damn seriously
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So true indeed Jay, so true.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if...
on your lunch break from Microsoft, you drive your Jetta to the record store to buy whatever you just heard on KEXP (even if you don't really like it all that much) while wearing jeans that cost more than my car payment and praying that we don't remember you when you were nu-metal two years ago. Your idea of a great evening is going to the Cha-Cha and trying not to obviously gawk at assorted members of the Sub Pop roster while drinking a 40 of Rainier. You may have told people that "Bright Eyes isn't the new Dylan, he's the new Cash", but you still listen to Britney Spears-- in an ironic fashion. You actually don't own any Cash beyond American IV.
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Sadly, this is so true. Kids need a Black Flag record dropped into their laps...
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You Might Be an Indie-Yuppie if you have a pair of glasses like Rivers Cuomo for fashion and a pair for reading
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you might be an indie-yuppie if your ipod wasn't a christmas present.
----
because when your living on the cheap side of life (aka in college), you can sadly ill-afford such things.
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this is just another purge from the cool kids
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you might be POST-indie yuppie if
- you pretend not to know what the OC is then act pleasantly surprised when people talk about it having interpol on it and stuff. "Oh wow, so is it a good show as well or what?"
- your ipod contains lots of Sibelius, Big Daddy Kane and "Music Of Islam" volumes 2 through 9
- you think that arcade fire band are pretty good. they have a good live show, i guess.
- you dig like two death cab songs but dont really like them. a bit boring, really.
- you randomly interject dated hip hop slang like "def" and "suckas" into your otherwise white suburban vocabulary
- you make an attempt to show that your love for radiohead is superior to anyone else's, particularly indie yuppies. say stuff like "man, that new steve reich-inflected radiohead joint is the jam!" and hate the bends
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...if you think the jury's still out on Maroon 5.
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We're guilty of at least 3 of these things at some point:
a) You laugh, remark to yourself "how very true" upon reading these comments...and then copy cobrasnake.com into a new tab on firefox, "just to see what it is."
b) you've heard of malaysian Mogwai-esque bands such as Damn Dirty Apes (www.noisemonkies.com), and name-drop when you can.
c) You still read Vice, and the first thing you go to is the Do/Don't section, and check past issues online to see what perfect Do/Don't you may have missed.
d) You forked out for the new Adbuster's sneaker (trainer), to achieve indie cred. Kettle/Pot interface somewhere here.
d2) you suscribe to Adbusters, after you picked up an issue at the Virgin on Union Square.
e) Loved Refused's "Shape of..." for the longest time, then dropped it for NOU's "13-Point Programme..."
f) With a highlighter and google handy, you've got the NYT article "Indie Designers Pin Hopes (and Clothes) on Indie Singers" boiled down to shopping tips.* **
g) You don't think you are, but you are.
* : The NYT article in question from last year can be found at http://www.thecrusade.net/forums/index.php?act=ST&f=3&t=4874
**: And yes, I do love the Bellmer Dolls.
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Subscribe, not suscribe. the shame...
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If you think Napoleon Dynamite should have won Best Picture of the Year at the Oscars.
If you frequent many "indie" messageboards and ask for recommendations on a regular basis, and/or ask the other members to "rate your purchases".
If you wrote a small essay for your English class on how to write for Pitchfork. (Which I did, I attached it below for the frick of it.)
Review Guidelines:
-Follow-up albums can only score 0.1-2.0 points higher than the album prededing it. However, the follow-up album is also free to be given a grade at anything lower than the grade the band got last time. Follow?
Ex: Album 1 got a 6.8. Album 2 can only go up to a maximum of 8.8, but can go down all the way to 0.0
-If you really liked an album from a band, the next anything you review from the band must score less. This is very ideal if the band quickly releases an EP, or a bonus track you can review on We are the World, etc. The harshness of the review should be directly proportional to how high the score of the album was.
Ex: Funeral gets a 9.7 (or whatever it was). The Arcade Fire Christmas thing (or the Talking Heads cover) is reviewed immediately after and got a pathetic 0.5 or 1.5 out of 5 score. There are no exceptions to this rule. Ever.
-In the event that you cannot deny that the follow up album is better, as I said, you are only allowed to give it a score of two points higher. Again: no exceptions.
-Generally, every alt. rock band/artist that was popular in the mid-90's (and that, generally, you liked) must be destroyed in the new millenium. These albums should always receive a score of 0.0 to 5.0. If you're risking pretention by giving it a low score, throw a 7.2 on it and call it "an uninnovative addition to an already-saturated canon".
Ex: Wait for the reviews of the new Nine Inch Nails, Weezer, etc.
-Mainstream rap releases automatically score 8.0 or higher to show that (a) you, and the site as a whole, have diverse tastes and (b) you, and the site as a whole, are unpredictable.
-Every couple of months, review a metal album. Score it around 7.5. Make no reference to the other releases of the band, because you have no heard them. When explaining how the band sounds, come up with something like "aggro-grindcore-sludgemastery". The more hyphens, the better the review.
-Hype something a lot in the news. Score the hyped artist 6.8. Just like that, you helped Pitchfork single-handedly create the buzz and create the backlash!
-Review something that generally should not be reviewed on Pitchfork because it's so common/obviously bad that there's no need to further beat a dead horse (Gwen Stefani, Moby). Beat that dead horse. This ties in to the next point:
-Always spend about twice as long writing about an album that gets a 2.3 than you would for an album that gets an 8.8. If you don't know what to write for an album you hate, make a lot of stuff up (post AIM conversations, have your nephew jump on the keyboard for 20 minutes, etc). You write for Pitchfork and you have no obligation to explain why you didn't like it.
-The fifth review listed for the day should ALWAYS get a 6.8-7.5.
General reissued albums guideline:
-Take an album that is generally a masterpiece. Take the score down to about 9.6, because reissues should very rarely get perfect marks (too predictable). Instead, go even further and take it down to about a 9.1. In the review, try and subtley say that the album wasn't really that good
We are the World/singles:
-This is a great place to distance yourself from artists you're stereotyped as being in love with. Score as follows out of 5:
Popular indie artists: 0.5-2
Mainstream artists, pop songs: 2-5
Live covers: 0.5-1 (use "unnecessary" as many times as possible in that little paragraph)
Popular rap artists: 5
I think I covered it.
---
is the worst nudity in this game breast -Leon Srtife asking the pertinent questions about God of War
From: Fracture | Posted: 4/12/2005 2:24:18 PM | Message Detail
Oh yeah I forgot one:
In the rare event you need to give a 10 out because people are calling your site to cynical:
-The band is always an indie rock band. Nothing fancy, no real outgoing influences being put on display, just a nice small rock band who write 3-5 minute songs. Bonus if they're Canadian. Album should be described as "ethereal", "ideas so familiar presented in such a startling and new fashion", "uplifting", "free", "fresh", etc.
Oh yes, I am a yuppie, but I'm good at it.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you believe that the bigger the gig the better the band are. On the other hand, you might be an indie-yuppie if you're the only one in the audience at a gig.
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You ARE indie-yuppie if
- the band you've liked for a 'couple of years' gets played on mainstream radio, and suddenly the band disappears from your monotonous list on Faceparty, Myspace or any other 'look at me' site.
- you put a song on the jukebox in your favourite bar, simply because you know you're the only one who knows the words
- you're friends with more than five people in separate bands and you often crash at their houses
- you read the kind of music a person likes on their profile and decide what kind of person that makes them
- you own Converse in every colour
- you claim music is your life - then study Law or Medicine at a high-rate University
- you're outraged at what NME prints... but you still buy it.
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you might be an indie-yuppie if...
you've been dedicated enough to read all the way to the end of this Looooooooong list of comments.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you can say with a straight face that you totally think Conor Oberst is the new Bob Dylan.
...if you'd fuck Karen O., marry Jenny Lewis, and kill that sellout Liz Phair (because you've heard she used to be totally indie).
...if you'd buy the O.C. Mix, rip it, then burn it to an unlabeled CD just in case anyone who rides in your Honda Civic happens to see the disc.
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Q: Why isn't the Indie Yuppie good at Karate?
A: They can never get past the White Belt.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you slag off bands you used to love in the 90's, yet secretly rush out to buy their new album the day it comes out to add to your still growing "collection".
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You might be an indie-yuppie if... You ever worked for both VH1 and Spin magazine, all while maintaining a blog for other yups like yourself, only to move ahead and create your own indie-yuppie label, to release more indie-yuppie music to the masses, therefore paving the way for your own mainstream yuppieism.
Someone stole my transmission.
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Joel M wins hands down for this gem:
"You might be an indie yuppy if, while listening to a new CD, you secretly pray you'll like it."
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you might not be an indie-yuppie if you hate everyone who has made a comment. you're all phony. especially the lawyer who listens to bloc party. how effing lame is that.
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I have to agree with Ben, Joel M's comment does take it.
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The King of Zing got mine!
You might be a induppie if Aloha has ever "rocked" your iPod.
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You might be an induppie if you have analysed, during a show, why the preferred beer of scenesters has shifted from Rolling Rock to PBR.
If this makes sense to you, you are an induppie.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you read Stereogum and enter a contest for a mix CD of songs on the O.C.
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If you hide your New Radicals cd when company comes over, you might be an induppie.
If you are trying to make up for your straight-edge years at age 27, you might be an induppie.
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If you have ever referred to someone you don't know by what magazines you guess they read, you might be an induppie.
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...you have over 200 friends on friendster and one of them is that thursday night party at Lit.
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Rob Mitchum, in reviewing "Music From the O.C. Mix 4" in today's Pitchfork, calls out Indie-Yuppies far better than any of us have (or at least more completely as some of the quips posted here have been quite good). Is this the death knell for coolness by obscurity? The Internet has had it in a stranglehold for years, I suppose.
If the thought of that frightens you, you might be an Indie-Yuppie.
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You ARE an indie yuppie if you don't just want to FUCKING PUNCH WILCO IN THE BRAIN.
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If you don't listen to any music dated before 1980.
If you are both subculturally affiliated and and a functional adult.
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you might be an indie yuppie if posting here makes you feel ironic
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if you're in finance and listen to squeeze, difford and tilbrook. the epitome of them both!
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Are induppies people who don't stop listening to new music just because they have a mortgage, or are they people with mortgages that have decided to broaden their music horizons?
I think a lot of the posts are more appropriate for the run-of-the-mill hipster. Induppies are a separate species. We've hijacked indie culture because we used to be hipsters. But we directed indie music away from abbrasiveness towards the Iron and Wine's of the world. I think it happened sometime around Sondre Lerche's first album.
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Jed has my vote..."If you dont listen to any music dated before 1980" that was good
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Dong Patrol: You are right, Ultragrrrl is by far the biggest indyup.
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If you listen to the Cure...
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if you get excited because the Gilmore Girls just name dropped your favorite band....
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I've been calling them Fuppies. Fucking yuppies who hang at the indie rock bars and try to look cool, but really just look like Marisa Cooper and Seth Cohen.
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Anne Bowman and her fuck-marry-kill is the list's bright shining star so far:
You might be an indie-yuppie...if you'd fuck Karen O., marry Jenny Lewis, and kill that sellout Liz Phair (because you've heard she used to be totally indie).
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You might be an indie-yuppie if your idea of "uncomfortable" music aligns with Vice's (i.e., grime and the Libertines).
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I'm with topher. An indie yuppy is someone with baby vomit stains on their Talking Heads concert t-shirt.
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.....if you think ultragrrl is actually totally hot and super sweet!! no way she's not fat!!! she totally looked hot in her hot topic joy division shirt!!!......or if you ARE ultragrrrl and you delete the comments from you blog when people talk shit because you love the world and everyone should be super totally nice to each other cause we could like totally die tomorrow, like your dog.
......or if you are one of ultragrrrl's friends and your pretend to like her stank ass because you are in a band and you are hoping she will help you along your path to selling out to the masses
......or you are leigh lezark and mommy and daddy totally support you but you don't tell anyone because you are all indie and hardcore and shit....and you have herpes and no one really knows that!!!!
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if you think any of the recent "indie rock" bands on itunes are really indie
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If, surprised that you were not slaughtered to death by athletes in high school, you think the fact that you are alive is ironic, and display this through the clothes you wear and the blank faces and gang symbols you give whenever someone tries to take a picture of you, which isn't often.
You hated the OC at first, then started liking it ironically a few episodes in, before going back to hating it after it became too popular. You started watching it unironically at the beginning of this season, and then decided that, actually, you don't like it. You are now lonely, confused, and attempting to devise an unironically ironic way to start watching again so you can find out if Ryan and Marissa get together. You ocassionally watch One Tree Hill before crying yourself to sleep.
You think you might have forgotten the definition of "irony", but you're also not sure you ever knew, and you think that, in a way, it doesn't really matter, but you're not certain.
You think Blueberry Boat is a "really good album."
The first thing that came to mind when you read the read the last one was, "I don't know about album, record, sure." You have now descended from the indie-yuppie to the Pitchforkian fuckface.
You know there's got to be some way to sleep ironically.
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You are an indie yuppie if you break out in hives as soon as the year's Coachella lineup is announced.
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hahah...if you let Hilary Fucking Duff, take over DJing duties at your weekly Misshapes party...YOU ARE A FUPPIE!
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Kind of off-topic, but kind of not. A classic, tragic Freudian slip courtesy of Rob Mitchum (reviewing the 4th OC comp):
If that was all, "The O.C." would be somewhere equivalent to "House" on my attentional scale, mere delay before hearing who's been voted home. But, of course, to the world Pitchfork INHERITS, "The O.C." has become much more...
I s'pose "meek" really is just Bible-speak for "indie-yuppie"?
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You might be an indie yuppie if... what, you don't KNOW?
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you have ever used the words metaphysical, existential or naturalistic to describe a song.
Or you might be an indie yuppie if you post something on here and then spend the next three days checking your email and this blog trying to figure out if you won. That doesn't mean I'm not going to do that, I'm just saying.
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you might be an indie yuppie if you call yourself indie.
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If the NY Press ranked you # 20 this year, of the 50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers..
wimpy bands and kitsch suck!
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you think that the indie-yuppie is the new bobo.
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"If you are both subculturally affiliated and and a functional adult." ... fucking brilliant.
Thank god, i knew i'd fit in somewhere!
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You might be an indie yuppie if you ever find yourself bragging, without a hint of irony, "Oh yeah, I've been listening to *insert fave indie band here* for ages; they were on a Starbucks Mix CD."
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you hate Kelly Clarkson and anything American Idol-related. But you profess undying love for Ted Leo - because he never sells out, man! And found yourself confused by that mp3 of Ted covering Kelly. Because you liked it, you really liked it. Oh and that bit with Maps, brilliant. But that was okay because it was ironic, right? Wait, or maybe not? Oh shit, I like that song. I'm playing it all the time. But you know that Kelly version's better. OK, you think, I'm going to ironically like the Kelly Clarkson song. And then. And then this. You find yourself bopping along to Kelly: Since U Been Gone, yeah yeah! Come on, you know you're singing along right now, you indie-yuppie,you. And it's Kelly's version that's running through your mind.
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I agree with Ben, Joel M should win. He hit it right on the nose.
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i agree with topher's comment
they're the dawson's creek, gilmore girls, and OC characters with white, white collar parents
who only believes in public transportation and only owns a bike, but secretly want to drive the hummer they got for their birthday
and (are able to) date their english professors
purposely goes to cafés with used books in them, but can also be found just as often at starbucks
i thought the comment about owning two copies of the album one on cd and vinyl is so true...only because i can guiltily relate to it
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you ARE an indie-yuppie because you are reading this.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you're crossing your fingers and really just sweetly hoping that Joel M. takes this whole contest DOWN.
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What a load of horseshit! Aren't the Stills on Vice? No offense - I like those guys and all, but if you are going to construct this glass house (ie Volvo Riding Music for kids - which by the way is a complete assinine categorization) quit throwing stones. Vice is so up its own ass it's sickening. Their 'existing outside the lines of what is comfortable' is just ridiculous as well. These jerk offs are people who base their opinion not on substance or true merit, but upon the opinions of the other trust funders in-the-know playing poverty chic roles with designer drug habits. Mr Shore should stop trying to be clever, because his attempts make him sound like an ass.
-jeremiah dumont
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You might be an indie yuppie if you live in Manhattan and drink Pabst Blue Ribbon, not because you enjoy it, but because it's just so damn ironic.
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...if the building you live in feels like your old dorm in college even though the tenants have chicer fashion sense.
...if you live near a project and have the gall to describe yourself as poor after blowing through a 50 dollar bar tab.
...if you "protested" the RNC, didn't run votes on election day, and then spent the month after the election emailing polemics about how stupid the rest of the country is.
...if you've been saving up to have your zip code read 11211.
...you leave the bar early to go home and "write" but in reality you get high and watch repeats of Best Week Ever.
...you spend at least an hour in the UCBT ASSSCat line.
...you don't see anything sleazy about asking for an iPod for your birthday from your parents.
...you would write more but you don't have a laptop.
...Two words: Bulgarian Bar
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...if you still largely define yourself by identifying what you are not.
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If you are living the Jenny & The Ess Dog Dream and gleefully know it...
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you might be an indie-yuppie if you don't really understand the definition of irony, but continue to define things as "ironic"
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you might be an indyuppie if:
- your car radio is set to the only two stations in ny you enjoy: 1) howard sterns radio show on kroc and 2) air america.
- you actually like coldplay but you claim they are little more than "radiohead-lite."
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...if you "shop at independent record stores... read blogs... download stuff from MP3 blogs..."
--Adam Shore
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...if you like electronic music that is more organic than sterile.
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If you hear a Nick Drake song in a Wes Anderson movie and think "Hey, that sounds cool, I wonder if he's on tour," you might be an indie-yuppie.
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if you look for yourself on the craigslist missed connections.
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You're iTunes starts with !!! or +/- rather than Abba or Aaliyah...
or
and you sing the words a half second before they actually appear in the song...aloud...
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Slight problem with Joel M's comment, not the sentiment, it's just that I thought Indy Yuppies don't listen to cd's they download all their music.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if Trent Reznor has never kicked you in the face.
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I think a lot of guys and gals who grew up indie worry about their cred too much and they miss out on a lot of fun stuff. Not to give Peter Pan advice here (Billy Joel reference)but loosening up and not worrying about this kind of stuff is pretty liberating.
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you might be an indie yuppie if your name is Topher
vote for joel
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IYI: you ask people if they have heard about that great new band modest mouse.
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I bet in a few years a lot of us will look back on this indie-yuppie thing that many of us are in with the same kind of uncomfortable mixed feelings that we feel when we think about our past identities as scenesters, or punk or hip hop kids.
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COLIN MELOY IS THE NEW MORRISSEY OK?!
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Best one was the...
You might be an indie-yuppie if... what, you don't KNOW?
No question.
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The whole "what, you don't know" thing is an old hipster joke, with the original being:
Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What, you mean you don't KNOW?
So while that comment may have been sort of funny five years ago, at this point it's hackneyed.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you briefly consider throwing down $100 on Craigslist for 2 Bloc Party tickets, then decide that said $100 would be better spent going towards a pair of Comme des Garcons white sneakers that look exactly like Converses.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you wore a Thomas Pink shirt to the Fiery Furnaces show.
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this conversation is fundamentally depressing and logically inductive.
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"...if you still largely define yourself by identifying what you are not."
-derek
Ouch.
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You drop $200 on craigslist for two tickets to see an "it" band at the Troubadour or Spaceland who's record you have never actually heard, but the bloggers seemed to like. Then, you drive to the show in your ironic Volvo 240 station wagon from your Silverlake apartment that your parents still pay for since your "writing" career hasn't quite taken off.
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-you've contemplated an ipod cozy, but cannot get it in the exact fade as your designer jeans.
-have never fallen asleep during an OC episode
-go to so many shows nightly that you've forgotten the concept of sleep.
-speak of the frontmen of your favorite bands with the same reverence as God, or perhaps 'The power of cheese.'
-you love everything 5 minutes before it becomes 5 minutes ago
-you have had at least one wasted encounter with someone of your own gender. You can barely remember, but are still angry when they don't call. Maybe you cry.
-are upset that the weather has turned un-scarf-worthy. And your pale skin hasn't seen sunshine since before you were scene. Again, maybe you cry.
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leigh lezark has herpes...!?
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You might be an indie-yuppie if time reading Pitchfork ends up as a billable hour.
You might be an indie-yuppie if you've owned two cars since you last had a Misfits sticker on your bumper.
You might be an indie-yuppie if nothing could ever be as great as Loveless.
Face it, us yuppies are taking indie rock down, just like we did with "college rock" back in the early 90's. What's going to happen is that teens will stop listening to their parents' indie records and come up with something new, which we won't ever "get". And then the natural order will be restored.
It's the circle of life.
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yes leigh lezark has herpes
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she also let Hilary Duff DJ for her, because you know, Hilary is also an indie yuppie idiot
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You might be an Indie Yuppie if at this very moment you are sitting at a desk in an office park in the midwest, frantically Googling "Leigh Lezark".
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You might be an Indie Yuppie if you claim to be going to the U2 concert to see Kings of Leon.
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*LOL*
My iTunes *does* start with +/-
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"Q: Why isn't the Indie Yuppie good at Karate?
A: They can never get past the White Belt."
- King of Zion
Beautiful.
"You might be an indie-yuppie if you hate Kelly Clarkson and anything American Idol-related. But you profess undying love for Ted Leo - because he never sells out, man! And found yourself confused by that mp3 of Ted covering Kelly. Because you liked it, you really liked it. Oh and that bit with Maps, brilliant. But that was okay because it was ironic, right? Wait, or maybe not? Oh shit, I like that song. I'm playing it all the time. But you know that Kelly version's better. OK, you think, I'm going to ironically like the Kelly Clarkson song. And then. And then this. You find yourself bopping along to Kelly: Since U Been Gone, yeah yeah! Come on, you know you're singing along right now, you indie-yuppie,you. And it's Kelly's version that's running through your mind" - raymond
Damn it, man.
In the end I'll have to go for Joel, because of the fucking hats.
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If you own a "independent" record label funded by major label cash, you might be an indie yuppie.
If you decry indie rock bands while releasing records by indie rock bands, you might be an indie yuppie.
If you claim people who shop at independent record stores, who read blogs, who download stuff from MP3 blogs, who go see two or three shows a week, who buy records because they feel a little guilty as your target market, then shit on people who shop at independent record stores, who read blogs, who download stuff from MP3 blogs, who go see two or three shows a week, etc. because, unlike you, they're just part of the establishment, man, you might be an indie yuppie.
If you're capable of holding all these contradictary thoughts in your head at the same time while snorting blow and trying to think of hilarious variants of common racial slurs for your magazine, well, you might be an indie yuppie.
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...if you've ever been interviewed on Gothamist.com
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*You might be a fuppie if you've ever used the word "rockist". Especially as a verb.
*You might be a fuppie if, omigod, you are SO OVER The Kaiser Chiefs, OKAY?!??!
*You might be a fuppie if -- ehh, too much effort (sigh).
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You might be a fuppie if http://othermusic.com/
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You might be an indie yuppie if:
-- you never listen to half of the music downloaded on your Ipod because you don't like it, but have it on there to save your "credibility"
-- you're afraid to admit The Secret Machines suck
-- you roll your eyes and call people posers at shows, when you're wearing a Marc Jacobs blazer and "vintage" tee, and a $300 pair of jeans
-- said in public that a certain band is overrated, only to be in the vicinity of said band member's girlfriend... and this has happened on more than one occasion.
-- you're so caught up in the "indie scene" that you've completely lost focus on what it was all about: the music
-- you voted for Kerry and bitch about how Americans are misguided, only to become a right-winged Republican yourself within the next five or ten years.
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Damn, all you guys must be about 14. Please stop fighting that muffled voice in your head telling you that YOU'VE somehow sold YOURSELF out. You have. Get over it. To believe that this contrived, image obsessed, music snob "indie" sub-culture is some kind of enlightened, unique and inspired state is truly sad.
You are partly to blame for the current state of affairs in modern music. Yes, I agree Ryan Seacrest is annoying and that American Idol is a little silly. The facts that I sometimes watch that show and that I may also know something about Sufjan Stevens aren't mutually exclusive.
The good news is that all of this ridiculousness can be undone. Like a song because you like it. Like a freaking t-shirt because you like it. Don't worry about what store it came from. Stop denying that you hum the damn hook to some top 40 song in the shower. RELAX. Feel guilty yet? You should.
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joel should win, but which one?
I prefer the trucker hats one
I dont get the other one.
can someone explain it... listen to a cd and you like it? huh?
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Leo J, Joel's post was pretty much self-explanatory, in the aspect that some people are so caught up in being "cool" in this whole indie scene, that you know that somewhere in there, there are people who don't even like a lot of the music but feel like they have to or pretend to like to because "everyone else does" and it's supposed to be "cool".
So when they buy it and begin to play it, they're praying that they will like it because they're "supposed to".
At least that's the take I've gotten on it.
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The Jeans You Are Wearing At The Show Cost More Than The Band That Is Playing Is Going To Make
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You might be an indie yuppie if you know yourself that you are one, but just thought you would post to be funny.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you bought your BMW because of the iPod adapter.
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You might be an Indie-Yuppie if Death Cab is after Kanye West on your "Songs to Pop Your Collar to" mix.
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[vomits profusely]
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You might be an indie yuppie if you've named a compilation of songs the "Extra Hot Latte Mix".
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you're an faded icon and you bring a canadian band on tour with you because they cover a 25 year old song of yours which rekindles your relevance.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you just bought the domain indieyuppie.com and plan on creating an indie-yuppie portal with real-time rss feeds of all relevant indie-yuppie blogs, and then monetize that traffic by selling ads via adbrite.com.
Please let me know where I should email my address to collect my OC mix cd along with my subscription to paste.
all your blogs are belong to us.
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"You're iTunes starts with !!! or +/- rather than Abba or Aaliyah.." hha my i tunes starts with !!!
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"because something is happening here but you don't know what it is do you, Mister Jones?"
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You might be an indie-yuppie if, after reading Joel M's comment ("...while listening to a new CD, you secretly pray you'll like it."), you frantically looked for a new album that got decent reviews, so you could 'listen' to it and 'hate' it. Thereby, proving to yourself that you actually listen to music you like - reviews be damned. Way to go, you independent-thinker, you.
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Many of the jokes here are about indie-wannabes, indie-idiots, and indie-assholes. Indie-yuppie is something else.
My 2nd vote goes to gobblegobble for
"You might be an indie yuppie if you bought your BMW because of the iPod adapter."
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You might be an indie yuppie if you felt the need to write more than two lines for this post. Yawn.
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You might be an I-Y if...
You have spent more than one minute wondering what Ted Leo was up to with that Kelly Clarkson cover. "Well the Lemonheads actually put themselves on the map with their Luka cover. Hmmmmmm...."
you are wondering what music you'll listen to once indie rock goes mainstream. (The board is set, the pieces are moving...)
you are curious about Malkmus' upcoming release.
your reading list takes a hit on pitchfork vacation days.
you know it's spelled "aeroplane" and not "airplane".
you are old enough to remember the Nirvana backlash when Nevermind was released. "Bleach is such a better album"
your five year old daughter brings your copy of A.C. Newman Slow Wonder in for "favorite song day".
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....if you've been accused of writing http://someblogsarebetterthanothers.blogspot.com
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You desperately try compose music on your newly purchased PowerBook with GarageBand...
BTW, the name of my new band is 'They Might Be Indie Yuppies'
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you've been posting here under assumed names talking up your own entries. Go Joel!
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Oh, yeah... you might be an indie yuppie if you've ever listened to Interpol in your mini-van.
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Leave it to the indie crowd to classify and put guidelines around something that doesn't even exist:
"Many of the jokes here are about indie-wannabes, indie-idiots, and indie-assholes. Indie-yuppie is something else."
Its pretty hilarious that this one throw away quote "indie-yuppie establishment" that was intentionally trying to stir up controversy, has gotten easily the largest reaction out of the Sgum crowd I've ever seen.
NP: Bloc Party/Silent Alarm (I love how this CD shakes me up, makes me uncomfortable)
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things make us feel less lonely
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You may be an indie yuppie if you know the source of these 2 quotes and how they apply to indie rock's future.
1) Nature just gave up and started again. We weren't even apes then. We were just these smart little rodents hiding in the rocks. And when we go, nature will start over. With the bees, probably. Nature knows when to give up.
2) But I stay on, I stay on
Where do I get off?
On to greener pastures
The core is getting soft
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You might be an Indie-Yuppie if you're so self-absorbed, people call you 'Bounty'.
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wow! this thread is over 200 comments, and scott hasn't said anything about it... who's the winner here?
a lot of these comments are funny, but dont necessarily pertain to indie-yuppies. They're about indie-nerds, indie-posers and indie-snobs alike, for example, Joel M's comment about listening to a CD and hoping you hate it. His other comment about trucker hats could pertain to indie-yuppies, but it could also be about indie-posers.
Finally, the most interesting thing I noticed is how in the article, VICE manages to be an indie-snob, indie-yuppie, and indie-hypocrite all at once.
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only about 1/3 of the comments posted are accurate. Some are dead on, like the good ones about gmail, pitchfork, mozilla, arcade fire, and so forth but some people on here either have no sense of humor or don't know what they're talking about.
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C'mon Scott, don't keep us in suspense. You've opened quite a can of worms and I'm dying to know who has won!
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i wish someone would send this list to my ex, with the "desperately trying to compose songs on your newly purchased powerbook with garageband" highlighted.
xoxo,
still bitter induppie
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You might be an I-Y if you got herpes from Carlos D.
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If you think Brandon Flowers could take you in a fight.
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Matt, you are an indie yuppie.
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Now, now shadowcat2012, leave Carlos D. and his herpes alone ;) *hides face and laughs*
No offense Carlos!
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This is ridiculous. Why is there so much hatred in the world for people who like any kind of music defined or loosely defined as 'indie'. Fuck the labels and just listen to what you like.
you kids need to simmer down.
and I hate to think of a world where a shitty-ass black flag record was dropped into the laps of any unsuspecting music lover. Egahd! Black flag is twelve shades of terrible.
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ha, because there is such a fine line between "indie-yuppie" and "indie-wannabe"...
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you thought that the vinyl first press of Le Tigre's At the Desk of Mr. Lady was "remarkably better" than the cd re-issue.
You might also be an indie-yuppie if you ever use the following words:
hipster, indie, yuppie, irony, self-aware, the, music or post-punk
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hhmm....im not trying to win the prize, but i feel kind of stupid, because there is very compelling evidence that i am indeed an indie yuppie. does that word even make sense(?)., i dont kno, i feel like not being all main stream is refreshing, not because i want to fit into the catergory of indie, but i like it better when not everyone knows my favorite band, idk, that does sound snobby, but its like i can keep it all to myself, i cant explain it. idk, i feel like more catagories are branching off, like "emo" what is that shit? wtf is emo? idk, i mean i feel like whatever u like, u could, in some light be looked at as a poser, i mean there are a lot of actual posers, but idk. i wouldnt listen to music that i didnt like, but "being indie" i dont think they are many ppl that are actually the real deal, mostly rich kids shopping at thrift stores to look ironic for the sake of "being indie". blah, idk, i think its cool if u like what u like, but it makes me feel really poserish now. idk, i cant speak for all.....
P.S. i really did get excited when i heard there was going to be more volkswagon commercials. o lord, how sad.....
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The fact this post has generated so many comments is proof that the majority of you ARE way too focussed on music as an accoutrement to your image. As a group, you're laughable with all your rules for who's *really* indie and who isn't. Who's a sellout and who's acceptable. You make the social rules that the snobby cheerleaders and jocks operate by look tame by comparison. Grow up.
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If the person who told you about the Tara Reid nip-slip so you could link it on your blog was your mom.
And it's true. Do we win now?
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i think an indie yuppie is a guy who's a marketing exec for a car company who drinks starbucks while driving in his new leased volkswagon and pops in the new bloc party and thinks it'll go really well in that new tv commercial.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you've ever had sex with a broker while listening to Death Cab...and NOT cried. You are definitely an indie-yuppie if you are also a broker.
You might be an indie-yuppie if you have a detailed plan for exposing your small children to music so that they might develop good taste. You are almost definitely an indie-yuppie if you have similar plans for them as regards food and movies.
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Senior, what's your last name, Citizen?
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You might be an indie yuppie if you are entirely convinced that your carefully aquired state of being exudes specialness never before seen in any other human alive.
You might be an indie yuppie if you are exactly like the people you hate, and yet neither realize nor admit it, even if someone cares to point it out.
You might be an indie yuppie if your t-shirts, buttons, and other belongings can say more than you can.
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You are a indie yuppie if that fat lip and black eye you have were given to you by two trailer park living, metallica black tee shirt wearing, rusty ford pickup driving hillrats in the parking lot at the Landing Strip for trying to pick up their mom after work there. Please consider Royal Oak the wrong side of the tracks, Romulus is much to dangerous for you indie yuppie types........
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You might be an Indie Yuppie if you choose the prixe-fix meal at the French restaurant just to save a few bucks to put towards the cover charge at Emo's later that night.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you have a livejournal.. with a paid membership.
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If you worry about what you should NOT like more than what you do like.
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...if you like to revel in the slightest romantic problem that you have because it's so earth-shattering, you wouldn't want to miss out on the chance to brood over something.
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omg, these are all so true. seriously, i feel like thats wut all this indie business is becoming, focusing on what not to be, instead of just liking wut u like, this is so dumb, its not about ppl who actually want to listen to good music for a change anymore,its now exactly like cheer leaders and jocks, like senior said, although u were kind of harsh. idk, i mean obvisouly, not everyone is like that, but i feel like im starting to become all retarded and living inside a box of wut i should like. not that i listen to music that i dont like just to feel indie, that would be insane, but idk....
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Dani, uh, wow...just wow.
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Dani, I almost commented after your first post and let it go, but now I've got to say something. You are hilarious! That has got to be the best impression of a clueless teen I've ever seen. The misspellings, the self-doubt, the attention whoring, the naive realizations, it's all there! It's priceless! Don't worry about it, it'll be all right. Don't take my criticism too harshly. You'll grow, you'll learn. It's just so darn cute! Awww
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...if your favorite music comes from car commercials. (sorry if someone said this already; too many comments to read.)
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"Dani, uh, wow...just wow."
hahahahahaha
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- You might be an indie yuppie if you like totally love Grey's Anatomy, now, and rub your kick ass ipod, full of awesome music that no one in your med school class recognizes, in all of the asian kids faces.
- You might be an Indie yuppie if you read every post on here and thought "jesus, i'm not as far along as all of these true fans"
- You might be an Indie yuppie if you mix lexapro with your high grade chron that you scored from some guy you don't even speak to.
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I might be a repeat. It's not all that original.
You might be an indie-yuppie if you think those Converse "videos" are really art.
You might be an indie-yupppie if you wear wrist cuffs while drinking your starbucks coffee and pressing the gas pedal in your dad's SUV with your pink Converses listening to Conor Obersts 'legendary' crooning from your iPod inside your messenger bag.
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If you pay thousands of dollars on clothes just to look like a nerd
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You might be an IY if your Starbucks tall extra hot double shot skinny latte relieves your post-modern angst for 10 minutes.
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if you google mapped 11211 thinking it was the les and said oh fucking billyburg...from your rhinestone studded sidekick
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You are an Indie Yuppie if you have a coffee table book out about playlist, called "The Pocket DJ."
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tltrec, your not too lazy to get personal!
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You might be an indie yuppie if you listen to episodes of This American Life on your iPOD at the gym.
You might be an indie yuppie if you downloaded Since U Been Gone from iTunes and didn't tell anyone until you saw on blogs that it was okay to like it and now you never shut up about your "guilty pleasure."
You might be an indie yuppie if you order a glass of red wine at Lit.
You might be an indie yuppie if you go to the Arcade Fire show but leave after five songs because you have an early meeting the next morning.
(And I should know, because those are all based on me. Sing for Absolution.)
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Would Dani please reveal if she is really a teenager or someone very cleverly pretending to be a teenager? Because OMG that totally sounds like me when I was in high school (sheepishly hiding face behind arm).
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OK I'll do mine.
You might be an IY if you import your entire iTunes library onto your work computer so you can share it on the network and show the other lawyers at your firm how hip you are.
You might be an IY if you stand in the back at the VHS or Beta show so you can step out if you need to take a cell call from a client.
You might be an IY if you download every album from a P2P network before it's released so you can listen to it first, then actually buy the CD when it comes out, because you want it "in your collection."
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You might be hippie-undies if you smell like feet, pot and tennessee and you've been to 47 STS9 shows... oh wait, wrong blog. Particle rules!
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you might be an indie-yuppie if you write the same comment as somebody else on Stereogum without realizing it.
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And you might be an indie-yuppie if you wonder if the other contractors at your office talk about your hair when you're gone.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if, when traveling abroad, you tell people you're from Williamsburg, not New York.
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You might be IY if your co-workers think your favorite band is "Oh, You Wouldn't Have Heard of Them"
You might be IY if you ironically remind others with air quotes that Jem was truly "outrageous, contagious"
You might be IY if you get upset because only poker spambots visit the Factory Records '81-'83 focus MP3 blog you curate
You might be IY if you if you heard these jokes six weeks ago
You might be IY if you are deeply troubled by M.I.A.'s implied endorsement of violence in Israel
You might be IY if you wear a white belt after Labor Day
You might be IY if you invite people over to your "space" so they can get away from their dready "apartments"
You might be IY if you have your homepage set to http://search.ebay.com/vintage-adidas-jacket
You might be IY if you bought horm-rim glasses in the perfect shade to match the colored pill bottle for your OCD meds
You might be IY if you got miffed because they wouldn't let you into the LCD Soundsystem afterparty taking place inside the bathroom
at the Interpol afterparty
You might be IY if >Sigh<...
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Joel M.
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you might be an indie-yuppie if you wash your jeans after wearing them once.
and still
you might be an indie-yuppie if trent reznor has never kicked you in the face.
sorry i just like it.
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After I wrote the comment joking about Dani Huster above she went over to my blog and posted this comment: "you are not funny and you are phony. omg, like, i'm a laywer, omg, and like, i listen to "indie" music."
Yep, real teenager definitely! :)
I vote for Lindsay, Eppy, or YoYoMan to win, and I think YoYoMan should get some sort of special super prize if he or someone inspired by him really does use the name "They Might Be Indie-Yuppies."
I actually wish I could sing or play and instrument just so I could start a band and steal that name.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you've ever wondered why !!! comes before +/- on your iPod.
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...you were doing this indie-yuppie backlash FIRST.
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You took out a home equity loan to pay for your trip to SXSW.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you typed Les Savy Fav into a translator to see if it means something in French.
You might be an indie yuppie if you are still talking about when you saw Ian MacKaye walking around Adams Morgan four months ago.
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if you subscribe to the idea that there is such a thing as an indie-yuppie, you just might be one.
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... if you complain about Crate & Barrel not playing the new Wilco album to enhance your shopping experience.
(C&B really should be playing it - I mean, have you heard Wilco's last one?)
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You might be an I-Y if you complain constantly about how hot it is at Coachella, but refuse to take off your blazer.
OR
You are forced to take off your blazer because Brandon Flowers is wearing an identical one.
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Help me out with this. Did I become an indie-yuppie as a result of simultaneously hating myself and thinking I'm better than everyone? Or did I become a self-loathing, pompous weirdo -after- this whole indie-yuppie disease got its hooks in me? BTW, is it still cool to hate yourself? Thanks for the help!
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- you've ever described the band keane to your coworkers as "elton john with less gay"
- you're already thinking how to market shirts with "indie-yuppie" on them in some sort of ironic font... cooper black maybe? No, too ironic. Helvetica nueue maybe.. yeah thats on its way out
- you've ever used the word "jawn" in a conversation.
- you got tired of explaining what in the hell the word "blog" meant and were actually happy when CNN started using the term.
- you've gotten pissed at stereogum for not including full mp3 filenames in his posts and yelled "WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE FLUXBLOG" to no one in particular.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you think stereopathic soulmanure is "far superior" to any of Beck's subsequent recordings.
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'nother one:
You might be an indie yuppie if get all indignant when you hear "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart" playing on the stereo at The Gap.
(Because that's YOUR song!)
(But...you're still at The Gap.)
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you might be an indie yuppie if you think "dogs die in hot cars" is a bad name... oh wait, that's indie puppie.
you might be an indie yuppie if you take out a 2nd mortgage just to have a place where you can book "an albatross" when they go on tour again.
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you might be an indie-yuppie if
you complain about hearing Q¬U, Bloc Party, and Franz Ferdinand during a taped segment on Anderson Cooper 360.
while buying an older, essential, album (we'll use The Replacements' Let It Be as an example) at the record store, you silently hope that nobody you know comes into the store and sees what you're buying.
you like anything about The Killers.
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You are an indie-yuppie if you live in Williamsburg and you are white.
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You are constantly cultivating your image with 250 dollar perfectly destroyed Diesel jeans and 50 dollar hair gel that promises greasy bed head.
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...you don't like an artist unless you've heard them on a commercial. And even then, it depends on what show it appeared during.
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You can't sleep at night because you are wondering if you should still admit that you like the Bravery because Sam Endicott used to be in like some poser ska band or something
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upon listening to Is This It for the first time, you immediately moved to the East Village, started bulk-buying Converse and switched from Marlboro Lites to Marlboro Reds
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Senior, are you just bitter because the 70s are over?
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If you read Stereogum. ;)
Oh shit.
Or if you have to paint your jeans on because the really tight ones you bought won't fit over your ankles.
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You are an indie-yuppie if -
1. you try to predict the next indie band going mainstream
2. you tell everyone that you don't buy CDs anymore and brag about your iPod playlist
3. you got your iPod engraved with your name at the back
4. you try to go to a concert of a band you like no matter what and can afford to pay triple the face value when its sold out
5. your guilty pleasures include pop star's reality shows (oh and the OC) but no one knows
6. you sport a sidekick or a treo or a blackberry
7. you spend so much money buying designer and brand name clothing that look like you bought it from a thrift shop (where you used to shop years ago)
8. you surf mp3j's a lot to get the latest scoop on bands and download mp3s from iTunes because you think downloading is illegal and you don't want to get in trouble
9. you blog at work when no one is looking and read other's blogs as well
10. you watch a movie or tv show or a tv commercial and shout out the name of the bands and songs being played in the movie when no one really cares
11. after naming the song and band, you tell people that you've seen the concert and give a little history about them
12. you converse with your indie-yuppie friends about indie music over fine dining and some wine
13. you have a huge collection of import music which is more expensive than the ones released here and brag about having an album before anyone else does
14. you are a frustrated artist, writer, photographer, musician, etc at one point of your life because your parents wanted you to go to law school or finish college
15. your parents used to listen to new wave music and own vice
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you think this list is sad, and you say so via your brand new powerbook in your home you own while your kid is taking a nap.
Keep buying albums witten by people in their late 20's and thirties and you'll find yourselves at shows populated by people like us. Find your own music, bitches, if you don't like our culture.
Love,
chad - 32 years old, wearing expensive jeans, and listening to beulah on his ipod.
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If you felt a sense of loss when you heard The Shins on the radio.
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If you coin the term "Yupindie"... and secretly hope it spreads.
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you might be an indie yuppie if
-you just spent the last hour or so trying to read what everyone else thinks an idie yuppie is
-you say shop at the salvation army and good will for fun when the reality is every weekend your at jean machine
-you have no fucking clue what the hell an idie yuppie is
-you have a lame ass hair cut and/or a stripped sweater somewhere
-that striped sweater just happens to be from jean machine
-conor oberst has helped you get through the past 5 years of your life
-you say you thought the killers were once cool but sold out when they were on SNL
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You might be and indie-yuppie if you found a yellow 'Livestrong' wristband, didn't know what it was for but wore it just cuz you saw cool guys wearing them at work.
Then you bought a fake Nike anti-racist one for the same reason.
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If you secretly hate the taste of Stella Artois, but drink it (in bottle form only) because you once saw a picture of Interpol drinking it.
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You wore a Killers shirt to a Bravery concert, which you don't remember why you went to
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...you were just as pissed as me when you had to update your version of soulseek and lost all the shit you had on your wishlist.
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you have so many famous friends you have to read Gawker every day to keep tabs on them
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... if you're totally pissed at stereogum because you SO said "indie-yuppie" first.
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you might be the biggest indie-yuppie ever if you seriously consider Chromeo to be the type of music that shakes you up, makes you uncomfortable.
If you bought multiple IPs so that you can post on message boards with multiple names without being detected, you might be an indie yuppie.
vote for joel.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if...
You grow up and get a job with a big corporation that isn't really all that bad, I mean everybody has right to make a buck and all, and you have to move to the gated community soon because some really bad people have started moving into your neighborhood lately and they like don't have jobs and the commute won't be so bad because you can listen to your Awakening the Giant Within tapes on the way to work so you can move on up and tune in and fit in with this new group who in a way are soooooo indie.
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wow you guys are up late. this keep you awake?
you might be an indie yuppie if you can't get to sleep for worrying about whether you are one or not
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You're probably an indie-yuppie if you just spent a good amount of time comming up with a "You might be an indie-yuppie if..." joke.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you care if someone thinks you're an indie-yuppi or not.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you read this entire page of comments, I mean damn thats a lot of comments.
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You might be an indie yuppie if:
--you're wearing a t-shirt that says "Fuck Corporate America" while listening to Fugazi on your Ipod and drinking a double latte from Starbucks.
--you're agnostic and send your children to a Catholic school.
--your conversations with coworkers when browsing through music magazines start with, "I remember when I used to hang out with them..."
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or you might be an indie yuppie if you changed ur screen-name 3 times cuz you kept thinking up new ones but you dont wanna look like a loser..
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I haven’t ejaculated in three weeks. The longest I’ve gone without ejaculating was a little over four weeks. I ended up ejaculating in my sleep.
I say I haven’t ejaculated, but that’s not to say that I haven’t masturbated. I masturbate probably as often as people my age ejaculate. But I refrain from ejaculating. I almost feel guilty about ejaculating (even though I’m ashamed of the fact that I’m so concerned about ejaculation).
I notice the longer I go without ejaculation, the more vigorous I am. Not only does life seem more vivid and interesting, but also, I become a better speaker. I have a hard time speaking up. People think I mumble and talk fast. They’re always telling me to speak up, and so, I try to; then they think they’ve hurt my feelings, and add, “I’m sorry. It’s just that you mumble and talk so fast, so it’s kind of hard to understand what you’re saying.” Well, they’re right—I do mumble and talk too fast, but what they probably don’t notice is that most of what I say out loud isn’t even coherent. I’m too filled with dread in the presence of others to be able to calmly articulate what I mean to say. Sometimes I’ll refrain from saying what I mean to say just because I know that I’ll be too nervous to say it coherently. Anyway, I speak louder and more clearly if I haven’t ejaculated in a while.
I also cry more easily when I haven’t ejaculated in a while. I very much enjoy crying, or just being miserable enough to cry. I’m not sure why. I’ve often wondered why. I suspect everyone enjoys it, secretly, but I’m not sure. Sometimes I think crying is a compensation for dissatisfaction. But maybe not. Sometimes I’m even excited about a new failure, since it promises me a lot of misery. Sometimes I avoid putting in too much effort as I tell myself that my life stinks anyway, and maybe I secretly think then that “this is one more excuse for misery.” But, I don’t know—maybe not. I’m aware of how shameful it is to enjoy crying so much, but I do enjoy it, and I’m not so ashamed of it, even though I’d probably never tell anybody I know.
The day after I ejaculate I become very susceptible to crying as well. But it doesn’t last long. I also become very irritable.
A long time ago, I once heard or read somewhere that football players are told that they shouldn’t have sex like 4 days or so before a game.
I wonder if it’s just all in my head. I mean, maybe I don’t really feel more vigorous after not ejaculating for a while, maybe I just think I do because I have this supposed memory of what football players are told to do…
Maybe, maybe, maybe! I can come up with a billion maybes!
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You might be a self important douche bag if you preseume to tell me that I should be listening to music that in YOUR estimation. "shakes me up"
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You might be an IY if you are affiliated with any of the blogs listed on the right hand column of any number of hipster blogs that continue to marginalize themselves by their proliferation.
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holy crap, jose! where did that come from? that just blew me away.
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you might be an indie-yuppie if you listen to pitchfork's itunes station...or you might be an indie-yuppie if you already know about pitchfork's itunes station since it only went online about an hour ago
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com:8000
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you feel like a jerk walking out of starbucks with Beck's latest and a soy chai latte in your hands, but you do it anyway.
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Jose, dude maybe you should get urself a dart board, that way when ur about to come you have something to aim it at
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you might be an indie yuppie if you enter a graduate program with the GOAL of writing for pitchfork
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If:
You go straight to the touch screen wall in Hollister to pick The Killers, Kaiser Chiefs and Interpol on the play list, so they'll play when you shop.
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please make it stop!!! it burns!!! it burns!!!
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You mignt be an indie-yuppie if you google inde and after decide to google yuppie...
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you find yourself opining about the kind of music "kids should be listening to."
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Dear Coco Bananarama,
Please stop! Your searing insight has reduced me to a quivering mass of self-doubt. I desperately need your approval - please don't crush my super-cool facade by calling into question what I may actually enjoy listening to. Hmmm, feeling better now. Thank you for allowing me this time you mental giant you.
By the way, you might be an indie yuppie if you make broad generalizations about entire decades of music. It's not my fault that you don't know how to dig deeper than "Stayin' Alive".
I vote for rrramie's comment.
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you might be an idie-yuppie if you take the time out of your non-existant social life to not only read EVERY SINGLE one of these entries, laugh at the funny ones, mark down in a red leather notebook which of the postees to utterly destroy, but then write one of your OWN, merely for the satisfaction that you are above absolutely everyone else who has posted an entry, especially the fool who wrote than damnable quote in Vice, who probably isn't loved, all whilst listening to Dan Bern. Also, you wonder what kind of person would write that one-page long entry up there about ejaculation (one "jose"). Clearly one without the proper means to survive in the event of a nuclear holocaust or Republican destruction of the filibuster.
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my comment's late, but i would've said "if you can't find this postal office song that you heard in the 'laguna beach' promo."
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http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=332
from morecowbell
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You might be an indie-yuppie if, um... you actually WORK for Paste, perhaps?
Oh, the shame.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you live in Canada and think its so cute that americans think they discovered indie.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you have a gmail account!
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you might be an indie-yuppie if you can afford to buy three albums of the postal service, just in case the other two gets lost...
...and if you invite yourself over and over to open new gmail accounts and make sure you're the first person using hipster_names@gmail.com
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if you think Leonard Cohen is a new character on the O.C. Only kidding, you love Jeff Buckley's cover of Hallelujah!
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you await the return of Jeff Mangum like a Christian waiting for the second-coming of Christ.
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If you own the Neon Boys' only EP, you might be a music snob.
If you downloaded the Neon Boys' only EP, you might be an indie yuppie.
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If, upon hearing someone mention Neutral Milk Hotel, you say, "Oh, they're a great band! I love those guys!"
Ditto Bright Eyes, Badly Drawn Boy or Iron And Wine.
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if...
-you've read every comment on this post
-you grew up in the suburbs "but hated it", went to a city college (nyu,columbia,bu,gwu,etc), then moved back to the suburbs (and secretly love it)
-you own an ipod and an ipod mini
-every indie cd you own you bought after you bought the indie band's major label debut
-you bought a bmw with the iPod attachment
-you hang out at Starbucks with your apple powerbook, which you bought because you saw all the cool people at starbucks have apple powerbooks
-you wear a Che tshirt you bought at the mall under your work clothes
-best one so far from other people: the trucker hat comment
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you have a different color ipod to match your different lacoste polos.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you:
-wear expensive jeans that look dirty
-play vintage board games
-drink wine at parties
Courtesy of Summer on The OC.
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you might be an I.Y. if:
You sport clothing that looks as though you've limited yourself to your grandmother's couch for a color palette in order to establish yourself as an ironic, hip, scenester....
(i.e. - Brown, Baby blue, and lighter baby blue. A bit overdone, don't you think?)
-dave
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if you mention a lyric from 'lover i don't have to love' on your myspace account.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you caved and bought The OC Mix CD and subscribed to Paste, but lie and brag to coworkers and friends about how you won Stereogum's "You Might Be an Indie-Yuppie If..." contest.
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....if your t-shirt cost 80 bucks and is funnier than you.
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You might be an Indie Yuppie if you fit the description of what most people have been saying, without even realizing it. Then proceed to console yourself by saying, it's just who i am. Fag
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you might be an I.Y. if: you doody on your butt and den du-oody on your du-oodies.
or if you eat lasagne on wednesdays...or if you beat your meat but do it so discrete. OK?? MOmmy Mommy m0mmy
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top ten reasons why i'm an indie yuppie, in no order of course.
1. i make top ten lists because they're the easiest way for me to express my thoughts.
2. i wear the t-shirts i got for free during my record store career under my scrubs at my suburban pet hospital job. (that's just indie, and not so yuppie, because being a vet tech is kind of blue collar)
3. my record store career was with hear music, the voice of music at starbucks.
4. i hate my uniform at work because when wearing it, no one can tell that i'm indie
5. i covered the postal service sticker on my car with a decemberists sticker
6. my husband who works in the silicon valley and listens to wild 94.9 asked stevie jackson, 'do you guys get star trek in scotland?'
7. i haven't been to a show since leaving my record store career because i'd have to buy tickets
8. i have a pet freshwater clam named ira glass, and y'know, he loves sam prekop
9. my first knitting project was a pink and blue handbag with a likeness of ron sexsmith embroidered thereupon
10. my favorite thing on tv is that commercial where the couple buys a house with a big stereo so they can dance to kings of leon, despite the fact that they're dancing to kings of leon, when of course the song should have been 'best friend's arm'
bonus:
11. my wedding song is california stars
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you bought a second messanger bag because you ran out of space for your round 1" buttons.
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you don't realize that indie-yuppie is the new grunge.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you can easily carry on a conversation while listening to your iPod.
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something witty here.
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You might be an Indie yuppie if you played this game.
Also, if you think umlauts are cool.
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if your friend quotes Sartre, but you hear Iron and Wine lyrics.
if your record collection costs more than your car.
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You mught be an indie-yuppie if you enter your ms account as your personal url.
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You are an indie yuppie when all the 20 something temps at your job tell you about the newest hottest band and you tell them you saw them open for Mike Watt at the knitting factory in 1995. Then you demand those TPS reports by the end of the day.
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you know you're an indie-yuppie if you write for vice.
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you might be a indie yuppie if you havent decided who the winner is, and you are still not sure, spending valuable time out of your day to decide this useless info.
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you might be an indie yuppie if you think "crunk" is a fad but "grime" is here to stay
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you might be an indie yuppie if you read stereogum/are stereogum/know stereogum
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You might be an indie yuppie if you sold your import copy of Loveless to the used record store in order to pay for your subscription to Maxim.
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the last one is one of the best, I'd say-
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1. you might be an indie-yuppie if you think pitchfork is getting a bit too mainstream.
2. you might be an indie-yuppie if you went to your neighborhood record store to reserve a copy of the new xiu xiu album and they had no record of its existance.
3. you might be an indie yuppie if you walk into an urban outfitters and customers approach you with questions.
4. you might be an indie-yuppie if you pick friends and/or mates based purely on their musical tastes.
5. you might be an indie-yuppie if you wake your self up at 1:20 in the morning on a weeknight just to see a band play conan, then go back to sleep.
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You might be an indie yuppie if you loathe cable and instead subscribe to dish network to get your IMF, FUSE and G4 channels on your plasma TV.
I personally like the 20 something temp comment. Cracked me up.
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sooz, I'd like to give you my own personal prize to you, because (I shamefully admit) that you pinpointed me as 1, 4, and 5. And I'm one Orange Crush tee away from being #3. But alas, I won't be able to get you anything. I just spent the very last of my (emergeny stash) college graduation money on Erasure tickets.
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you might be an indie yuppie if you've come to manage your personal life by only dating guys from middling-to-non-successful bands, so that when it fucks up, you don't have to worry about them being in your face all the time. and you can continue on in your normal enjoyment of music pretty much unencumbered, which is the main thing anyway...
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if you jerked off while listening to the new spoon record on first pass, you ARE an indie yuppie.
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it's genius. i hate it, but it's genius. what a better way to stir up the shit and get recognized. the ad department at matador had an agenda the entire time ... it's not about the creative process. it's about selling records. end of story.
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if you get angry that your favorite indy band becomes mainstream which forces you to not like them anymore and hate all of your peers who gave you funny looks when you tried to get them to listen to them, who now all of a sudden claim they've always liked them and have no problem paying top dollar to see them play in section 817 row ZZ at Madison Square Garden, when YOU were with that band from the start!!...When that band was all yours!...Back when you saw them at the Peach Pit when there were like only 4 people in the room, most of them not getting it. You were there man!!! Before they sold out, and before anyone had seen Parker Posey dancing to their music in that Gap commercial! THEY OWE YOU!!!
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You might be an indie yuppie if you considered a long weekend away from your well-compensated tech job would be a quick jaunt to Coachella, (no need to sell stock or take a loan out on your 401(k), cause again you make good money)
but couldn't because you had a business trip or had to log in from home over the weekend or something. You decided to cure your disappointment over missing Cochella by a making a quick trip to the dealership to get Sirius radio installed on your SUV; a lifetime membership, mind you, cause you're getting tired of streaming Mp3s off your mini Ipod to your car radio, plus you heard that Left of Center channel was pretty cool and fuck it you needed a new gadget anyway. Sound autobiographical? Nah...
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you might be an indie yuppie if you stop listening to a band once they become too mainstream/famous (e.g., modest mouse), but you still go out and buy their newest record/cd when it's released (you never actually listen to it) just to give the impression that you're above giving up on one your favorite bands b/c they got too popular
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you might be an indie yuppie if:
you went to see keane at radio city, and you also heard that this cool new band named...kings of somethung is opening for them, and they are supposedly new and upcoming...
you read the article in the post and you scored the 10-15 and you really want to make sure that you are still uber cool.
you read the article in the post and you burnt it so that noone reads it and realizes that youre a poser!!
you heard of this really cool band named the killers and the lead singer looks like brandon from 90210.. they aslo sing this really rad song about those whitening britesmile strips
you bought an ugly ass pair of sneakers just so that you can say that you got some rad new kicks!
you were wondering if there was valet at bowery ballroom
your ramones tee shirt was ironed just in time for the kills concert
you buy EVERY tee shirt, button, sweatshirt and bumper sticker to every indie concert you make a point to see so that everyone knows you "like" them.
youre trying sooo hard to get into the unicorns, but you just dont get it..
you roll your eyes when someone says.... ooooh ever hears of the bravery? they were on the oc last night...
last but not least, you bought a coachella tee online so that everyone thinks that you went when you were really choking on matzo in in englewood!!
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You might be an indie-yuppie if you listen to the Yuppie Pricks and don't get the joke.
http://www.yuppiepricks.com/
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-You might be an indie-yuppie if there is a pair of 80s style aviator sunglasses in the visor of your BMW that you bought at a gas station for $6 a year ago "ironically", put away when the style report on VH1 claimed aviators were the new thing and were being marketed by top "designers", but "ironically" began to wear them again while listening to !!! and for 2 short weeks, the bravery, until they quickly outgrew "cool"
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..if you got here after reading john richards latest kexp email, and recognized at least twelve people here as western washington hipsters that you've seen around capitol hill, bellevue, and fremont.
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.....if living in a one bedroom loft in Alphabet City is your idea of "keeping it real".
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You might be an indie yuppie, if you have no freaking clue who Pedro is, but you are sure as hell are going to vote for him.
Get your t-shirt to prove it.
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You might be an "indie-yuppie" if:
...the bands that have their videos played on that "New York Noise" show are friends of yours.
...you've just moved to New York from Nebraska or God-fucking-knows-where then call yourself a New Yorker and live in Brooklyn.
...you think living in Brooklyn is cool.
...you'll live in any burnt-out, crack-hooker infested neighborhood as long as it's a 20 minute subway ride to Manhattan.
...own and operate a fucking muffin shop.
...wear your infant in a sling on your chest.
...name your son Taylor, Tyler, Hunter, Brent, Cody, or any other fag pussy name I'm too high to think of right now.
...drink CHI. Ugh.
...are a vegan. Die.
...smoke American Spirit cigarettes.
...you open a store that sells junk that people threw away, slap on an outrageous pricetag and call them "artifacts". Fuck you.
...like really bad music by really horrible bands.
...you drink Pabst Blue Ribbon because you saw other people drinking it and you thought it was ironic cool.
...you have no discernable source of income yet you can afford to live in that fucking loft space you live in.
...you'd kill to live in Manhattan.
...you look through yearbooks from 1972 to find a hairstyle.
...you're a girl with bangs and horn-rimmed glasses.
...you're white and own a Thai restaurant.
...you claim to have smoked DMT.
...you're an artfag.
...ride the L train.
...your neighborhood has those red Village Voice boxes on every corner.
...you have Hindu or Bhuddist imagery tattooed all over your pale, milquetoast frame.
...you paid 50 dollars or more for a 99 cent trucker hat.
...you spend a lot of money to look broke.
...you wear a mint green overcoat (that some old lady probably died in) with an orange plaid sundress and ugly shoes and a godawful gigantic handbag that you got at that Salvation Army store in the neighborhood.
...you live in an otherwise deserted industrial area that just so happens to have a gourmet grocery store.
...you attend, organize or contribute to any kind of short film screening.
...go to an "art opening" at a bar.
...go to an "art opening" at a bar and bring your dog.
That's all I can think of for now. I don't even know if "indie-yuppie" is the proper term for these people.
Oh, and by the way... I found this site by typing "Williamsburg yuppie fucks" into Google. I've never heard of this site until just now. I saw what the topic was and I just had to comment.
If I won anything (which wasn't my motivation for writing this) I don't want it. Thanks.
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you might be an 'indie yuppie' if...your a rich little white suburban fuck who listened to silverchair in high school but now trolls around zombielike with your 'ipod' thinking your so 'indie' and 'that' you listen to such 'underground' music that everyone else is listening to as well.. since when has being a yuppie started becoming hip again?? when some jackass from 'vice magazine' put indie infront of it?? is that what it takes to make you cavepeople think its something you should fall for?? well i got one.. 'indie-cancer!!!' get some.. fast!!. all of you.. now!!! The bands you guys list as essential or something are all boring.. bloc party sucked out loud before they were even a band.. theres nothing shocking or revolutionary about saying these bands suck.. just cuz a bunch of stupid hot topic loving wads with more money than brains think they're god because they're trying to rip off something from 20 years ago and doing a bad job of it.. i might add.. Hopefully this is going to die out before its gets larger.. i dont like this whole thing.. ive had to live with these kids my whole life.. and its not cool guys.. not cool.. dont celebrate your idiocy.. it just makes you loook stupider.. you know it does.. dont ignore it.. and dont be trashing pitchfork.. without them you would know nothing.. and all your stupid little 'blog' friends would be as fuckin lost as you are when it comes to 'validating' your awful musical tastes.. if your watching some horrible tv teen soap opera 'ironically' (still dont get what this means really..) then your not watching it 'ironically' .. your fuckin watching it.. thats it..you may as well be a soccer mom.. its really sad this is what people are turning into.. they all think theyre so 'different' but whats different from these kids or all the kids who turned 'goth' from marilyn manson poisoning ten years ago?? they all thought they were being 'different' and not listening to what everyone else was.. but really.. they were all the same.. hey how many of you are those kids?? you guys like to label yourselves?? k fine.. we can make it easy.. . all the idiots stand here.. the posers stand here... and the brainless little rich fucks over here.. oh wait.. we still got one group here.. whoops... fuck.. man i could go on and on about this.. but i think thats enough.. fuck you guys.. i hate you
REV. GW XXXIV
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you might be an indie yuppie if you take some hicks blue collar (NOT FUNNY) jokes, twist them around to fit the situation, and call it "being ironic"
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Show me on the doll where they touched you, Greydyn...
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By the way, if you like "spoken word" or go to "poetry slams" ... FUCK YOU!!!
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Oh yeah, and FUCK VEGANS.
Vegetarians are some of the fattest people I've ever known. You are ridiculous. Eat some fucking MEAT, you weak-sperms!!!
By the way, plants are alive too. You still must kill SOMETHING in order to live. Can't you hear the scream of the wheat grass? Fucking hypocrites... now go climb into your PT Cruiser or your Mini-Cooper, or your ugly-as-sin Scion, or your bullshit gas/electric hybrid and wrap that shit around a big healthy tree, you little trust fund cuntrags!
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You've compiled a top 100 list of the decade's "Best Albums I Have Listened to Once or Twice."
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You might be an indie yuppie if you think that Le Tigre recorded The Cars That Go Boom, because, well, that's who your P2P service said it was by.
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Who didn't listen to Silverchair in High School? "I am I am Sirael's son, Israel's son I am!" What the fuck is that song about?
You might be an IY if it takes a few minutes to scroll past the "The" section of your Ipod photo when you're trying to get to "Superpitcher."
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What the fuck is Pabst Blue Ribbon!!!!!!!!!!And what the hell is an indie-yuppie...we're all corrupted!Please!The only ones who arent are the homeless kids asking for your change in downtown toronto so they can finally start saving up to buy themselves a fucking cigarette or a trip, let alone a used band t-shirt..00000hhh...get a life!
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WOLFCOW I LOVE YOU
ps anwar's weather and wolfcow in the four foot interval were good too
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Indie is the best thing that happened since Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford rocks! I live in Indiana. I am an Indian. I watch the Indy 500. I am an Indie Yuppie.
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