Old? Yeah. White? Of course. But what did you expect for an internationally televised fundraiser? If you want a lot of money you have to cater to those with…(wait for it)…a lot of money. And the people who pay $300 to see the Stones or $500 to see Sir Paul are the people you want tuning in, not the people who accidentally caught 15 minutes of Kanye West at Coachella on their way to the Mumford and Sons tent or whatever.

So what did we learn from last night?

The Rolling Stones stink. Anemic versions of “Rocking” and “Flash”? If anything their performance last night was a commercial for skipping their upcoming tour. What a mess. Yeah, they used to “party hard” and have a lot of miles on them, but jeez guys, if you’re going to play a benefit at MSG you might want to actually put a set together with more than two songs. Crazy, I know.

The Who still deliver a lively performance and they appear like they may actually be having fun up there. Of course, it’s the half-Who, but they still sounded better than they did during the Super Bowl Halftime show they did not too long ago.

After an interminable Kanye West performace (talk about not knowing your target viewing demographic), Billy Joel looked like the greatest songwriter since Mozart. He isn’t, of course, it’s just that Kanye West is really , really, really terrible. Like, hey-Kanye-find-Chris-Brown-and-fly-together-in-a-Mexican-pop-star’s-Learjet terrible.

Alicia Keys doesn’t own a mirror. That dress made her look like an orange sausage.

Chris Martin knows his place. Three quickies and out.

And Paul McCartney. Sheeeeeit. He blew the Stones, the Who, Bruce, Bon Scroti et al off the stage. The friggin’ guy is so old he needs to be carbon-14 dated and he opens with Helter Skelter, busts out Let Me Roll It, plays with Nirvana, does I’ve Got A Feeling, and almost burns MSG down with fireworks during Live and Let Die.

And yes, the NirMacca song was damned good. Not Nirvana good, not Beatles good, but like…dirty, fuzzy Wings good. Deal with it, folks. It worked.